Sincerely, Vanessa [EN]: Chapter 5

To my teacher,

Spring flowers are starting to bloom, little by little. I could look at the bluebells all day this season without getting tired of them.

Would you feel betrayed if a letter that started with a beautiful story about bluebells turned out to be depressing? I just hope my sudden emotional changes don’t wear you out.

Teacher, I feel like there’s so much I don’t know. Is everyone going through this?

Yesterday, Lina got a very good score on a pop quiz, so she said she would buy me dinner. I thought we were just going to a decent cafe, but Lina suddenly went into a fancy restaurant nearby.

I sat down, trying to act like it was nothing, but when they unfolded the menu, I panicked and blinked several times.

There wasn’t a single food item on the menu that I recognized.

There were no descriptions of the ingredients, so I didn’t dare to choose anything. The only thing I recognized was ‘Today’s Soup’.

If I had asked, Lina would have answered kindly, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I felt like a country mouse among well-dressed people.

In the end, I chose the soup and a freshly squeezed juice. No, those were the only things I *could* choose.

Lina asked if I wasn’t feeling well, and when I nodded silently, she got so worried.

I might have ruined Lina’s good mood because of me. I barely finished the meal and returned to the dormitory.

I’ve never been ashamed to say I don’t know something, so why did I do that? Am I just full of vanity?

That’s not all. What about math?

Bad math! Bad coordinate system!

Math is essential for constructing magic circles and circuits and calculating ranges, but I really lack the ability to apply it.

But who on earth would have taught me functions? All I’ve done is try to understand them by looking at books on my own.

The books that come into the orphanage or the local library only have very simple problems, so I didn’t know. I didn’t know there were such difficult application formulas.

I’m not ashamed of being last, but I’m afraid you’ll be ashamed of sponsoring me.

Is the letter too depressing? But I have nowhere else to say these things. I’m sorry, teacher.

But my only advantage is that I get up again the next day.

We’ll be like friends.

For your information, I borrowed a book called *Various Cuisines of the World* from the library. And I spend every night with cubic functions.

Depressed but will get better soon,

Vanessa Rose.

⚜ ⚜ ⚜

Vanessa headed to her dormitory, the Moon Wall, just before the library closed. The weather had warmed up, so it was cool even walking without her school uniform jacket.

Vanessa walked along the path through the grass, repeating the regrets she had been having for days. The floating yellow lights seemed to be enjoying teasing Vanessa.

I shouldn’t have sent such a letter to my teacher.

Why did I send such a whining letter when my teacher isn’t even my family? I’ve probably just become an incompetent sponsored child with only my shortcomings emphasized.

If I had just held on a little longer, it would soon be an emotion I could suppress! Why couldn’t I hold it in!

Somehow, it felt like it was all her fault that she hadn’t received a reply from her teacher.

Vanessa sighed softly and arrived at the first floor of the Moon Wall, rummaging through her bag to find her key.

Then, the caretaker wearing yellow star-shaped glasses called Vanessa. Her voice was very strict.

“Vanessa Rose?”

“Ah, yes. I’m sorry, I’m a little late. I’ll be sure to come before twelve o’clock from now on.”

“That’s right, but I have another matter.”

The caretaker took a rather large box from the shelf above and handed it to Vanessa.

“A package has arrived. Now, go up. I won’t let you off even a minute next time, so keep that in mind!”

Vanessa fumbled with the package in a daze and went up to the fourth floor. Where on earth did it come from?

Lina heard Vanessa struggling to turn the key because she had so much luggage, and she opened the door.

“What’s wrong, Vanessa? Why do you have so much luggage?”

Lina took some of Vanessa’s books and went inside. Vanessa took off her shoes and started tearing open the dark blue wrapping paper without even changing out of her school uniform.

“Is it a gift?”

Lina sat next to her with curious eyes.

“I don’t know either.”

Only after tearing open the wrapping did Vanessa find the writing on the simple box with no pattern.

「To Miss Vanessa Rose」

She slowly rubbed the place where the ink had seeped in. Anyone could tell that this was a package sent by her teacher.

Vanessa carefully opened the box.

“Wow!”

Lina exclaimed instead. Vanessa was so surprised that she forgot what to say.

Under the soft light in the dormitory room, a pair of bright blue shoes wrapped in glossy fabric appeared.

“They’re so pretty! Wow, these are really something! Vanessa, try them on!”

Hypnotized, Vanessa picked up the shoes and found a small note underneath.

「They say good shoes lead their owner to good places, so I hope tomorrow is a day full of happy things.」

Vanessa liked the note more than the shoes. Her teacher’s heart, wishing her good things, was so kind.

She regretted the slightly crumpled end of the note and flattened it by putting it between thick books.

As soon as she put her toes in the shoes, Lina clapped her hands in excitement.

“These are just *yours*. Shoes born to be yours.”

The shoes fit perfectly as if they had been tailored. There wasn’t a single part that bothered her in the front or back, and the heels were sturdy but not heavy at all, making her feel like she was walking on clouds.

Vanessa sat on the chair with flushed cheeks and held up her legs to shine the shoes in the light. The bright blue shoes were beautiful from any angle.

After a long time, when Vanessa just stared blankly at the shoes, Lina finally forcibly took off the shoes and kicked her out to the bathroom.

Vanessa put the blue shoes on her bedside table. She definitely had good dreams that day.

⚜ ⚜ ⚜

To my teacher,

Teacher, as you know, we don’t receive packages at the orphanage.

So, I’ve only received packages twice in my life. And they were all sent by you.

The first was a variety of colored inks, a pen that didn’t hurt my hand, and a high-quality notebook.

I was overjoyed. A package just for me—it was like a dream.

But the second time, it’s shoes! It’s unbelievable!

These shoes are the prettiest shoes I’ve ever seen. Lina said the bright blue color looks just like my eyes. They’re neat, but the lines are so elegant. This isn’t just shoes; it’s a ‘work of art’.

I’m worried that they might be incredibly expensive. Right, teacher?

In fact, I was going through a very painful period of confusion for a while. I’m sorry if that feeling was reflected in the letter. It wasn’t just my vanity or problems related to math.

I’m not doubting you, but no matter how I look at it, I cried in bed every night thinking that I don’t seem to have any magical talent.

Do you know why I haven’t talked about magic at all for a while?

Where on earth did the light that illuminates the darkness like a firefly go? No magic was realized near me.

Fortunately, the professors didn’t care much.

Apparently, most students didn’t even know how they cast magic until graduation. There are also many wizards who have only cast magic once in their lives.

You might know everything, but today, please pretend you don’t know and take a look at my notes from the last class!

Incantation Magic

-Innate talent, established formula

In cases other than incantation magic

-Innate talent, satisfaction of activation conditions

What are activation conditions?

→ External conditions (situation, action)

Situation: A rainbow-filled sky, August sunshine

Action: Clapping hands, kicking

→ Internal conditions

One’s mindset, etc.

The notes are quite neat, right? I’m very good at taking notes.

Anyway, isn’t it really interesting? Everyone has different magic activation conditions!

The next example was even more interesting.

“One of your seniors had a rather unusual activation condition. He had to get his feet wet and spin around three times. He found out when he almost fell over in the rain and stumbled.”

There’s another example. This was also amazing.

“One student could only cast magic through a sword. But was it just any sword? No, it wasn’t. He could only cast magic with a sword made of Eldar steel [a legendary metal known for its magical properties].”

At this point, you can imagine how discouraged we all were listening to the class. Why are the conditions so demanding!

“But that student only realized it much later. Even before that, he was a student who was devoted to the sword and could exert powerful force without magic.”

Professor Aper smiled when he saw that everyone was listening intently.

“Don’t prioritize magic above everything else. Be careful not to become empty shells when the power of magic disappears.”

The professor’s words were very touching—the sentence that said to become a valuable person whether you have the power of magic or not.

It seems more difficult to become a valuable person than to realize the power of magic. Right?

But still, how can I stop the lights that illuminate the darkness from continuing to come to mind?

I’ll become a valuable person, but I also want to feel the power of magic again.

Um, somehow the letter I wrote to express my gratitude for the shoes has flowed in a strange direction. Why am I suddenly lamenting?

Anyway, thank you so much, teacher.

Not only for the gift but also for caring about my feelings and wishing me good things.

I send my gratitude for your kind heart.

With all my heart,

Vanessa Rose.

p.s. The title of the wonderful picture drawn on the envelope is ‘Vanessa Rejoicing in Blue Shoes’. Isn’t it quite well drawn?

To Miss Vanessa Rose,

I would appreciate it if you would consider me as a diary that can answer. Happy stories, sad stories—it’s all okay.

Miss Rose is not lacking; there are just many things she has not yet experienced. If there is something you do not know, you can learn it.

I might be a little disappointed if my sponsored child does not try. But Miss Rose seems to be staying up later than anyone else.

It’s good to work hard, but don’t harm your health.

I’m glad if the package was a small comfort. Did the shoes fit well? I chose them because the bright blue color stood out, but I don’t know if they are comfortable on your feet.

I read the letters as soon as they arrive, but I have a lot of work to do these days, so it’s difficult to reply. I hope you don’t mind if the reply is delayed.

In addition, it would be good to learn to draw at the academy. The picture is too different from what I saw.

How about a liberal arts class?

From your teacher.

To my mean teacher,

Are you saying you know my face? You’ve seen my face before?

Come to think of it, you said I was the first sponsored child you chose ‘directly’, right? You saw me using magic!

I’ve never seen my teacher, and I don’t know anything about my teacher! This is ‘unreasonable’. I saw a friend use the word unreasonable very elegantly, so I tried to copy it.

I use the most elegant vocabulary possible in letters, but I sometimes feel a little awkward with such words. There is so much to learn in everyday life.

In addition, there is too much homework! The teachers give me extra homework because I lack learning.

I’ll send it again at length. First, I need to quickly finish my math and literature assignments.

Professor Elliot is really too much. How can I empathize with a daughter from a well-bred aristocratic family and write?

Buried under a pile of homework,

Vanessa Rose.