George Bush’S Great America [EN]: Chapter 122

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As the old and ailing dragon of China gasped its last breaths, the jackals around it grew bolder. In the west, Afghanistan; in the south, India and ASEAN [Association of Southeast Asian Nations]; and in the east, the Korean Peninsula and Japan were all quietly building up their strength.

Afghanistan’s situation was obvious, and India, despite its weak government, was increasing its military might. ASEAN was also making steady progress in both military and economic power, and Korea was finally able to focus on its domestic needs. Most importantly, North Korea’s limited opening allowed for foreign investment.

North Koreans no longer sought South Korean goods on the black market. Department stores and convenience stores, the very symbols of capitalism, opened in North Korea. McDonald’s even opened a branch in Pyongyang, the capital, and Coca-Cola billboards sprang up on every street corner. Experts began to talk of North and South Korean reunification, citing the Golden Arches Theory [the theory that no two countries with McDonald’s restaurants will ever go to war].

Of course, the Golden Arches Theory had been disproven several times and was later replaced by the Dell Theory [similar to the Golden Arches Theory, but based on global supply chains], but it at least suggested that North Korea was moving toward a stable capitalist system. To improve the living standards of the North Korean people, the GDP had to increase, and as a result, the North Korean army was gradually reduced. Kim Jong-il, accepting the strong ‘advice’ of the United States, decided to gradually dismantle the North Korean army.

Thus, North Korea’s political system transformed from a socialist dictatorship to a capitalist dictatorship. However, whether the dictator’s seat would be inherited by the next successor remained a serious question. Kim Jong-il still wielded military power to maintain control, but the ports were now bustling with cargo ships from all nations.

Kim Jong-il didn’t show it, but he secretly welcomed this situation with tears in his eyes. Thanks to this, his personal wealth was growing exponentially. Every foreign transaction in North Korea was taxed, and those taxes went directly into Kim Jong-il’s private coffers.

However, Kim Jong-il worried that the people would be seduced by these luxury goods and corrupted by dangerous ideas. His father, Kim Il-sung, had always insisted, ‘The people must be kept hungry!’

「However, the General Comrade could no longer ignore the hunger of the people and accepted foreign cultures like China! However, the Korean people must follow the example of neighboring China and not be tainted by foreign cultures and ideas, and must establish a self-reliant economic system of the powerful and prosperous nation of Joseon!」

“That’s good enough.”

Kim Jong-il watched the North Korean news featuring Ri Chun-hee [a famous North Korean news anchor known for her dramatic delivery] and felt relieved, for the moment. But life is unpredictable. He believed he could sufficiently apply his Juche ideology [North Korean ideology of self-reliance] even within a capitalist framework. He also thought it was possible to improve the people’s living standards while maintaining his iron grip on power.

Then, he was suddenly bothered by the fact that his TV was so old-fashioned. It was supposedly made in North Korea. But how could North Korea, with its backward infrastructure, produce advanced cultural products like TVs? In reality, they only manufactured the parts they could, and the rest were imported and assembled in North Korea solely for Kim Jong-il’s use. The parts were foreign-made; only the labor was North Korean.

“You!”

“Yes! General Comrade!”

This was a new aide, the previous ones having been reassigned to prisons in the eight provinces of North Korea after displeasing Kim Jong-il. This new aide was selected not for combat prowess, but for his ability to anticipate the superior’s every need, his flattering words, and his blind loyalty, never questioning or resenting even when punished. He was the best of Kim Jong-il’s “*agari*” [mouth or mouthpiece] fighters.

“I’m thinking of replacing this television with a South Korean one. What do you think?”

“Are you talking about a color TV?”

“Guilty. My office is like a work of art, but looking at this old-fashioned thing is giving me *tongse* [eye strain].”

This was a delicate situation. Of course, Kim Jong-il wanted him to say it should be replaced, but saying so directly would brand him a traitor. The reason was that the TV was *guksan* [domestically produced]. In other words, it was supposed to be made in a North Korean factory. Everyone who knew the reality of *guksan* knew the truth, but it was a closely guarded secret.

Betraying *guksanpum* [domestic products] and bringing in goods from the enemy? Absurd! They always talked about the pain of the Korean people and the divided country, but North and South Korea were still technically at war, only observing a truce.

If he said it shouldn’t be replaced, Kim Jong-il, greatly disappointed by this answer lacking *gangseongdaeguk* [powerful and prosperous nation] Juche ideology and *yeongyangga* [nutritious value], would abandon his contemplation on TV and instead start *gomin* [agonizing] about which prison to *insa* [reassign] this small and cute military officer to. It was obvious.

Wasn’t this a perfect *jintoe yangnan* [dilemma]? Imagine turning on a computer, only for an error window to pop up saying, ‘Yes? No!’ No matter which you choose, the power shuts off. How frustrating is that?

But life isn’t a multiple-choice question like a computer error window; it’s a subjective one.

He chose a third option.

“No, why are you crying all of a sudden?”

Tears streamed from the military officer’s *nwikkal* [eyes] like an early summer shower.

“I’m moved!”

“Really? Why do you think so?”

Kim Jong-il hadn’t expected this answer and decided to listen.

“As the Supreme Commander of the Korean People’s Army, I dare to speak my mind to our party and our people’s great leader. I truly didn’t know that the General Comrade would lie on firewood and lick gall [endure hardship for the sake of revenge]! Isn’t the reason you’re trying to replace it with a South Korean one so you won’t forget your *maeumgajim* [mindset] of revenge while looking at South Korean goods? To even ask me, a mere military officer, about that! I’m truly moved!”

Kim Jong-il was *hwaksilhage* [certainly] satisfied with the *oegyodamphan* [diplomatic negotiation], *Seo Hui’s* [referencing a famous diplomat] *ima tak! chigo gal* [forehead hit and go] *seutrong tansan toktok saida pokposu ibdam* [strong carbonic acid pop cider waterfall eloquence]. Kim Jong-il had a *janhakan seonggyeok* [brutal personality] and enjoyed giving impossible tasks and watching people squirm, but once in a while, there were *injae* [talented people] who solved those impossible tasks, and Kim Jong-il liked these people.

He might have thought it was *jaesu eopge* [unlucky] if someone deviated from the frame of thought he had set because it didn’t *hapchi* [agree] with his intention to see a *gonranhan baneung* [difficult reaction], but he felt *katareusiseu* [catharsis] in *ttwieonaneun injae* [outstanding talent] completely *bokjong* [obeying] to him.

Of course, even this could be changed to ‘I’ll load you into a *gosapo* [anti-aircraft gun] as a shell’ if Kim Jong-il was in a bad mood, but he was in a very good mood right now. He was greatly satisfied because his *sujiphum* [collection] had recently increased significantly.

Kim Jong-il’s *sujiphum* [collection] included all sorts of things, but the ones he cherished the most were *sul* [alcohol] and *dambae* [tobacco]. Ironically, he even set up his own health research institute to take care of his health, but he loved *sul* [alcohol] and *dambae* [tobacco] even more. Thanks to this, his *sujiphum* [collection] were arguably the best in the world.

However, it was also true that he was aging rapidly as his *sujiphum* [collection] increased. The stress he received from the United States was enormous.

In particular, looking at the long and slender Tomahawk missiles and the large and beautiful SLBMs [Submarine-Launched Ballistic Missiles] in the deep-sea submarine for the purpose of defending the Korean Peninsula, it felt like the inside and outside were reversed. To use a somewhat disgusting expression, it felt like his intestines were popping out of his mouth.

Anyway, the fact that there were submarines in the West Sea of North Korea was a top secret. Of course, it’s called defending the Korean Peninsula, but where is it defending the Korean Peninsula? In reality, it was to *appak* [pressure] China and North Korea. Even so, the International Atomic Energy Association or whatever was poking around everywhere, so he had just dismantled all the nuclear facilities in North Korea.

Kim Jong-il’s collector instinct had already turned into a kind of *bangeogije* [defense mechanism]. He was becoming more and more *jipchak* [obsessed] with the increasing *sujiphum* [collection] in order to *haeso* [resolve] the *buranham* [anxiety] and *jeongsinjeok appakgam* [mental pressure] that came from the reality of being helpless and at a disadvantage.

“Guilty. I have my reasons for doing this.”

Anyway, apart from the *appakgam* [pressure] from the American invasion, what’s important now is that Kim Jong-il’s mood is very satisfactory due to the military officer’s *abu* [flattery].

“Come to think of it, how is China doing?”

He had already withdrawn all the North Korean people he had sent to China. As it is right next to it, North Korea has traditionally been very *mingam* [sensitive] to China’s *donghyang* [trends]. Thanks to this, he was able to react quickly at the beginning of the *jilbyeong changgwol satae* [disease outbreak situation]. In the first place, he had been gradually reducing the number of people while watching the United States’ every move, so the process of repatriating North Korean foreign workers dispatched to China was more *sinshok* [prompt] and *suwol* [easy].

On top of that, it was something only North Korea could do, and in order to *hwaksilhage* [certainly] block the spread of *jilbyeong* [disease], it *chadan* [blocked] all mass trade and land routes themselves. If you *chadan* [block] the source, there was *dangyeoni* [of course] no way for the *jilbyeong* [disease] to spread, so in a way, it was the only country free from the new *byeongyun* [germ] coming out of China’s *jilbyeong dogani* [disease crucible].

Of course, there was no answer if China’s *jilbyeong* [disease] spread to other countries and then came back to North Korea for the second time, but at least he could prevent it from *balbyeong* [breaking out] right away. It was very recent that it had become *ilsang* [daily life] for North Koreans to finally have the *sachi* [luxury] of eating three meals a day, so they were basically very *chwiyak* [vulnerable] to all kinds of *jilbyeong* [disease]. For that reason, Kim Jong-il made a *guguk gyoldan* [nation-saving decision] in his own way.

“I hear that there are five new types of *jilbyeong* [disease] that have been *hwagin* [confirmed] alone.”

Of course, he swallowed the words that it seemed that the UN would step in and *jinhwa* [evolve] it for the time being. Kim Jong-il had a fit just by hearing the word UN. It wasn’t a *biyu* [metaphor], but he actually had a fit once and was carried to bed in the hands of his doctor.

“The old dragon is being *yageum yageum* [little by little] pecked at by the young eagle.”

Kim Jong-il expressed that China was being pecked at, and there was no more *jeokjeol* [appropriate] expression than this. This is because China was not collapsing all at once but was collapsing *yageum yageum* [little by little]. It was as if the *gangduk* [riverbank] was gradually being *kkakkyeonagadeut* [eroded] by a strong current.

Kim Jong-il *yesang* [anticipated] that China would not last long. Based on his experience of eating *nunchitbap* [having to be constantly aware of others’ feelings and reactions] between China and Russia, he *yesang* [anticipated] that Russia would soon cut ties with China. Perhaps it would invalidate the recent *jung-reo gukgyeong hwaktjeong* [Sino-Russian border demarcation] through the gap in China’s collapse.

‘I can’t do it with a clear head, really?’

Kim Jong-il *silgam* [felt] that something was gradually collapsing within him as well as China. The world was *jeomjeom* [gradually] going crazy.

‘Guilty. Really. The world is going crazy, so trying to be normal alone is not the answer.’

Then shouldn’t we all go crazy together?

“Bring the *sul* [alcohol].”

The type of *sul* [alcohol] was Kim Jong-il’s favorite ‘*araseo* [ 알아서 do it yourself, 알아서 on one’s own responsibility, 알아서 at one’s own discretion]’.”