The Stand-In Empress’S Wedding Night [EN]: Chapter 18

18. Inside the Bathtub, Really?

2021.03.06.

The story about Grand Duke Martins repeatedly failing the Knights’ exam wasn’t something I heard from Prince Tesler, but rather from Kanal Adalion, who was the swordsmanship teacher of both of them. Kanal Adalion was one of the greatest Sword Masters in the history of the Shatoanil Kingdom and the leader of the Royal Knights. And he was also my secret swordsmanship teacher. From the moment I became aware of the incarnation within me, I secretly started swordsmanship to relieve the burning sensation inside my body. Noble young ladies of the Shatoanil Kingdom learn basic swordsmanship from a young age. Most of them learn it half-heartedly and then quit, but the moment I held a sword in my hand, I felt a thrill throughout my entire body. Kanal Master had been teaching swordsmanship to my step-brothers due to a long-standing relationship with my family, the Troba County. I would peek into the training hall of the County and secretly watch Kanal Master’s teachings and imitate them. Then, Kanal Master happened to see me wielding a sword alone in the training hall and accepted me as his disciple. However, the fact that I was learning swordsmanship from him privately was a secret, a suggestion Kanal Master made, conscious of my step-brothers’ possessiveness. Several years passed, and I turned 16. At that time, I was struggling to improve my lateral attack technique, so I often went into the forest connected to the County and practiced all night. On that day as well, when the sword didn’t move as I wanted, I collapsed to the ground in frustration. Kanal Master, as always, quietly watched from one corner before approaching me.

“Greed is poison, and composure will be beneficial. There’s no need to rush.”

“Master, but my lateral attack movements aren’t improving at all! At this rate, how can I even break one of my opponent’s ribs?”

“Take your time. As long as you don’t stop, you will soon get it your way.”

“Am I the least skilled among your disciples?”

When I asked glumly, Kanal Master laughed heartily.

“Haha, what are you saying? Lady Zelda, along with Prince Tesler, is the most excellent disciple.”

“Really, really? More than Grand Duke Martins? I thought he would be very skilled in swordsmanship too?”

“Who? Grand Duke Martins Lohain? Haa, don’t even mention him.”

“Why?”

“In all my life, I’ve never seen someone so pure when it comes to swordsmanship……! Oops, please pretend you didn’t hear what I just said.”

“Oh my, what did you just say? I didn’t hear anything at all?”

I replied with a sly lie. Then, Master let out a sigh of relief and revealed the Grand Duke’s secret to me.

“In my entire history as a Sword Master, he was the first disciple to hold the scabbard upside down. It’s truly a disgrace to my Sword Master life.”

“Is it that bad?”

“Yes, he only knows how to twirl a fountain pen, and he’s completely clueless about swordsmanship! Anyway… please forget what you just heard about the swordsmanship idiot.”

“I told you, I didn’t hear anything?”

I smiled and picked up my sword again. I seemed to have received great comfort from Grand Duke Martins unexpectedly. After that, every time I saw the Grand Duke, the words I had heard from Kanal Master echoed in my ears like a rhythmic round song: Swordsmanship idiot, swordsmanship idiot…

“Um, Your Majesty? Is there anything else you’ve heard about me from Prince Tesler…?”

Grand Duke Martins asked me secretly with a very uneasy expression. Hmm, I wasn’t planning on revealing this secret… I should burst it out as a price for the Grand Duke being a nuisance to me today.

“Let me think. I’ve heard so much.”

“…You’ve heard so much?”

Even if his jewel pouch was robbed, he wouldn’t have looked this surprised. The Grand Duke seemed more afraid of his personal information being revealed.

“Ah, by the way, Grand Duke, why aren’t you married yet?”

As the topic of conversation changed, Grand Duke Martins’ tense expression softened a little.

“Well, I’ve been so buried in academics that I’ve been delayed. It’s not like I’m a picky person; that’s why my marriage is late.”

“It seems so. I think the reason your marriage is delayed is due to the Grand Duke’s taste?”

“Taste? It seems like Your Majesty knows my taste and is saying that?”

Grand Duke Martins smiled with his hands behind his back, with an interesting look in his eyes.

“I heard that you were in a very passionate love with the widow of the Elido County three years ago.”

Pause. Grand Duke Martins stopped dead in his tracks. I pretended not to see the Grand Duke’s embarrassment and continued talking.

“Ah, and the Grand Duke’s first love was said to be the wife of the Rodlow County? I think she had three divorces?”

“…Did you hear that from Prince Tesler too?”

Grand Duke Martins’ voice trembled slightly. He’s not denying it, so it must be true.

“Of course. Prince Tesler is a much more diverse and accurate source of information than the Kingdom’s newspaper, isn’t he?”

Grand Duke Martins’ face turned red at my tone, as if asking the obvious. Actually, I didn’t hear this from Prince Tesler.

‘Everyone knows that Grand Duke Martins Lohain’s ideal type is a bit unique, right?’

Earlier this year, I happened to overhear the young ladies whispering in the lounge of the royal banquet hall. Grand Duke Martins’ ideal type is a pitiful woman who is alone, whether through separation or bereavement.

“Is your taste really for women who are alone? Or was it just a coincidence every time?”

The Grand Duke was startled, as if he had been caught secretly meeting a noble lady late at night. Seeing him, who was usually arrogant, at a loss made me feel a little satisfied.

“It’s all… a misunderstanding.”

“Oh my, Prince Tesler’s information is all wrong?”

“Of course, it is.”

The muscles in Grand Duke Martins’ jaw tightened. I nodded and pretended to believe the Grand Duke’s words. The Grand Duke clenched his fists. He seemed to be thinking of Prince Tesler, whom he believed had revealed two of his secrets to me. What if he asks Prince Tesler directly later? Well, even if my lie is exposed, there’s nothing to be too afraid of. After all, I’m much better at fighting than the swordsmanship idiot Grand Duke. If you feel wronged, then come at me.

“Your Majesty, this story is also a secret. You know?”

Grand Duke Martins glanced at the servants following behind us and whispered to me with a pleading look.

“We’ll see.”

“…Pardon?”

“Just kidding.”

“You’re very good at making jokes… that make people feel hurt.”

“If it’s the truth and it even makes you feel hurt, isn’t that even more cruel?”

“…Ah.”

“It’s better to be hurt by a joke, right? Don’t you think?”

“Well, that’s true, but… Ha!”

Grand Duke Martins trailed off with a bitter expression and hit his forehead with his hand. I thought I heard a ‘thwack’ sound from his forehead, and I laughed. As we were sharing trivial stories, we arrived in front of the Empress’s Palace before I knew it.

“Grand Duke, try looking here in the Lapion Empire as well. There must be noble ladies who are alone here too, right? Then, please return safely.”

Leaving Grand Duke Martins’ dazed face behind, I turned around with a refreshing greeting.

“Your Majesty.”

Grand Duke Martins called out to me and strode towards me.

“Thank you for the advice.”

“You’re welcome.”

I replied in a dry tone.

“Now that I think about it… As Your Majesty said, I think that’s really my taste. I’ll have to look into it, and Your Majesty might even be one of the candidates.”

Grand Duke Martins said, tilting his head slightly. What is he saying? This swordsmanship idiot?

“There hasn’t been a moment when I felt at ease.”

I soaked my body in the bathtub and closed my eyes, reviewing the events of today one by one. Perhaps because my emotions had been fluctuating all day, I felt completely drained. My husband, whom I’ve been married to for only a few days, has a new woman. No, not just one, but four. But of course, he’s not just an ordinary husband, but the Emperor of a country. Moreover, I’m just a surrogate Empress who’s here temporarily. So, I shouldn’t care.

“Yeah, I know. But still….”

I’m frustrated.

“Oh? It’s starting again.”

I opened my eyes, which had been closed, at the sound of bubbles popping above the bathtub. The water, which was very cold at first, had suddenly risen to the point where steam was rising from it. The water temperature changes according to my mood, and today it’s almost like a hot spring. I used a water dipper made of a large pearl oyster to pour the hot spring-like water from the bathtub onto the floor several times. Then, I scooped cold water from a wooden tub next to me and poured it into the bathtub to make it lukewarm again. At that moment, I heard a commotion from outside the bathroom.

-“Y-Your Majesty! I’ll go in and tell you first. Her Majesty has ordered that no one be allowed in. Therefore, we can’t enter during bath time either!”

-“I’m not ‘no one,’ am I?”

-“S-Sorry, Your Majesty! I overstepped my bounds….”

I heard Linell’s angry voice and Sharon’s terrified voice.

-“Stepping away from the bathroom door will remind you of your place again, so that’s enough. Step aside.”

Clang. The bathroom door opened immediately with Linell’s words. Whew, I’m glad I mixed in the cold water beforehand. I almost had to lie that hot spring water had burst out in the bathroom. I didn’t know what to do at his unexpected appearance, so I moved around in the bathtub in a flustered manner. Meanwhile, I heard his voice with a transparent screen in between.

“What kind of manners are you trying to observe in this situation? Just sit still.”

At Linell’s words, I crouched down in the bathtub again. Only then did I realize that I wasn’t wearing a single thread. A sense of dizziness came belatedly. What was I going to do getting up naked? No matter how politely I greeted him, my attire was already impolite!

“Are you taking a bubble bath?”

I heard his voice again from behind the screen. His shadow was cast long on the bathroom floor.

“Ah, no. There are… no bubbles.”

I looked down at the clear water in the bathtub and replied.

“Then it would be impossible to have a conversation in that state.”

“…I suppose.”

“Just a moment.”

“Yes? Your Majesty?!”

Linell suddenly opened the door to the bedroom connected to the bathroom and went inside. I raised my voice and urgently called out to him as he entered the bedroom.

“Um… I was just about to finish my bath! So I can get out of the bathtub!”

“Stay there!”

Linell also raised his voice and shouted at me. After a while, I heard his voice near the bathroom door.

“I’m going back in now, so you just stay still in that state.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t worry about my eyes. Got it?”

“Yes….”

What on earth is he trying to do? I hugged my knees with both arms. Linell parted the mist-like rising steam and came closer and closer. He was dressed comfortably. His clenched fists slowly loosened above the bathtub. And from his hands….

“Wouldn’t it be a little easier to have a conversation with this much?”

Red rose petals fluttered down. The rose petals fell like snow onto the water in the bathtub, covering my body reflected in the water.

“Did I pluck too many?”

He shook his hands and lowered his gaze to the bathtub, muttering with a regretful look.

“If I had known that nothing would be visible like this, I would have only plucked a handful of flowers.”

“….”

His eyes were too shy for a man who had approved the entry of four concubines this afternoon. With Linell’s rose-like seductive smile, I began to blush like a rose. Then, the lukewarm water suddenly bubbled and the water droplets rose again. Linell’s eyes widened as he glanced at the bathtub, and he asked me.

“Zelda, you’re not by any chance relieving yourself in the bathtub, are you?”

“…Wouldn’t saying such a thing be more rude?”

I shouted at him as if scolding him with a flushed face. He tilted his head back and laughed as if he had expected this reaction from me. His laughter echoed loudly in the bathroom. I glanced at the bathroom door. I was worried about what kind of imaginations the servants waiting outside would be having at the Emperor’s laughter leaking from the bathroom.

“Your Majesty, could you please lower your voice a little?”

“Why, are you worried about the servants outside?”

“A little.”

“Really? Then I’ll go and order them to stay far away.”

Linell turned his body towards the bathroom door.

“W-Wait a minute!”

I quickly called out to Linell.

“What.”

He raised his neat eyebrows and looked back at me.

“If you give such an order, the misunderstanding will only get bigger, won’t it?”

“Then what should I do?”

“Just, laugh as much as you want.”

“Hmph, an Empress who is conscious of the servants’ eyes… How unique.”

Linell chuckled and approached me again.

“What brings you here tonight?”

“Am I someone who needs a reason to come to the Empress’s residence?”

“It’s not that, but… If you had contacted me in advance, I would have finished my bath quickly and welcomed you.”

“I thought you might.”

Linell put his hand in the bathtub and stirred the water.

“Yes? Ah.”

He took his hand out of the bathtub again, flicked water on my face, and smiled.

“So I just came.”