A Child Who Resembles Me [EN]: Chapter 1

A Child Who Resembles Me

1. I Have Something to Say

“Just say one word.”

In the suffocating silence, he opened his mouth.

“That child is my child.”

The heavy voice resonated, making her chest tingle.

An inevitable sigh threatened to burst out, but Jeong-oh tightly closed her mouth.

Was it nearing certainty, or was it just wishful thinking? She couldn’t read his mind.

Her heart, which always raced when facing him, now throbbed. When she strained her eyes, the corners felt hot.

“Yena is my daughter.”

Jeong-oh recognized that his eyes, which were looking at her, were also trembling slightly. Even his voice was earnest and desperate.

“Tell me she’s our daughter.”

As she didn’t answer, he repeated the plea.

It was as if he had suppressed some emotion inside his throat; his Adam’s apple rose and fell dramatically even with his quiet voice.

It was all the same words.

As if the answer would be only one. As if she must never deny it.

*If you just answer, I will give you everything.*

The words he didn’t say seemed to be conveyed through the air, caressing her chest.

*I’m the one who’s been holding back, so why is your face distorted?*

Jeong-oh stroked his cheek. Her hand had risen without her even realizing it.

However, his expression didn’t improve. No, he seemed even angrier.

“Say it.”

He grabbed the hand that was caressing his cheek and urged her to answer with a slightly louder voice.

“Say it. Please.”

Who drove this man crazy?

Who made this man so desperate?

Whether it was the truth or a lie, he didn’t seem to care anymore.

She had to open her mouth for his sake.

Her eyes, weighing the gravity of her answer, wandered like a lost child.

His desire for her to be entirely his might have led to a wrong decision. It might be a dangerous impulse to throw everything else away just to grasp her.

But, in fact, it was also what she desperately wanted.

She, who was twenty-three, had become thirty before she knew it.

A full 7 years. Now, she wanted to end this pain.

She wanted to become someone who didn’t deceive herself and her daughter.

“Yes, she’s your child.”

She spoke calmly, but the end of her words soon crumbled.

An overwhelming emotion burst out with her voice, blurring everything in front of her.

“Our… our child.”

She stammered the truth.

The truth he wanted.

* * * * * * *

Lee Jeong-oh. 23 years old.

Something impossible happened to her.

The hand holding the pregnancy test trembled.

“This can’t be happening?”

It wasn’t a faint double line, but a clear double line as if drawn with a marker.

It was a bright day outside the window. Only inside her house, it felt like a storm was raging.

Something that really couldn’t happen.

“This really can’t be happening…”

Tears welled up in her voice.

“This shouldn’t be happening…”

She was just concerned that ‘that day’ [her period] was late. She just felt a slight nausea, and it was strange that she was getting so sleepy.

She impulsively bought a test kit at the pharmacy to calm her queasy stomach.

Even when she was paying at the pharmacy and coming out, she thought it was an unnecessary worry.

After confirming the result, Jeong-oh, who had been groaning in her seat, left the house again.

She went to another pharmacy and bought three test kits, emptying her wallet.

‘Please, let the one from earlier be defective!’

However, her wish was not fulfilled. All the test kits showed the same result.

Jeong-oh tore at her hair. She wanted to cry.

She even drank alcohol the day before without knowing this!

‘No! Alcohol is not the problem right now!’

It felt like her inner self was divided into two, arguing back and forth.

*Stay calm. I need to stay calm.*

Jeong-oh calmly stroked her chest and took a deep breath.

The relationship lasted for 6 months. It was her and his first relationship. No, honestly, she didn’t know. Jeong-oh didn’t know him as well as she thought.

Jeong Ji-heon. Twenty-six years old. A senior in the Department of Business Administration at K University. About to graduate and planning to get a job. It hasn’t been decided which company he will go to yet. His father runs a snack factory. That’s all she knew about him.

Jeong-oh met Ji-heon for the first time one day while she was in Australia on a working holiday, crying in front of a Korean mart after starving for two days. He lent her 20 dollars because she couldn’t eat because she had no money. That led to them contacting each other from time to time, and they met again after returning to Korea.

Jeong-oh knew that he was a good man, so she absolutely trusted him. Even if he was reluctant to talk about his family, she thought there must be a reason.

“My father doesn’t come home often. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen my father in 26 years.”

Come to think of it, he had said something like this. That’s why, after learning that he also had a deficiency like her, Jeong-oh stopped asking him about his past in detail.

Still, there were no problems in their relationship. The relationship *is* in the present tense, and it’s happy.

The past 6 months have been filled with happiness. There was no room for anything else to interfere.

He didn’t express his feelings in words very much, but other than that, he was such a good man. He was dignified, kind, polite, considerate… All sorts of good qualities could be attributed to him.

He was also thorough with contraception. As far as Jeong-oh knew.

‘…Wasn’t he?’

She lost confidence.

Jeong-oh recalled his eyes, which had been staring at her intensely as if trying to trap her. On days when he approached like that, things inevitably turned out the way he wanted.

Was all his passion safe? Was he perfect?

“Then what is this result!”

She wanted to deny the result. But if she denied the result, it meant that there was another problem with her body. If it was another problem other than pregnancy, that would be a big deal in its own way.

‘Let’s go to the hospital first. I’ll check accurately first and then tell *Oppa* [an affectionate term for older brother or boyfriend].’

*But, do I have to go alone? I’m scared.*

If I say I came to check if I’m pregnant even though I’m not married, won’t people look at me strangely?

How much is the hospital bill? I’m a student, and I don’t have any money.

“Ah, what should I do, really.”

Jeong-oh collapsed on the desk.

What should I say to *Oppa*?

If I ask him to go to the hospital with me, will he go with me?

What if he gets angry and says, ‘How could you do this?’

“No, why are you getting angry! It’s your fault! It’s your fault, *Oppa*!”

Jeong-oh jumped up and scolded, pointing her finger at her *Oppa*, who wasn’t in front of her.

She hadn’t told him yet, and he hadn’t gotten angry yet. It was her old habit to worry about things that hadn’t even happened yet.

What should I do in the future? I’m only twenty-three.

“What time is it now? Gasp!”

While she was agonizing, the appointment time was fast approaching. Jeong-oh hurriedly put on her clothes and left the house again.

The appointment time is 5 o’clock.

It was an ambiguous distance to take a taxi to the subway station. But she didn’t want to run either. She didn’t know why, but she felt like she should take care of her body.

Still, she walked at a fast pace and arrived at the subway station at 5:10.

She saw Ji-heon standing blankly in front of the station. She could recognize him easily even from a distance. His extraordinary physique, which made her think he might be a model, was subtly attracting the attention of those around him.

*That’s my boyfriend!*

Honestly, an appearance that’s so handsome that it makes you exclaim is burdensome. When I hold hands with him on the street, I often feel the piercing gazes of those who are interested. I don’t feel intimidated, but sometimes I jokingly tease him. *That Oppa is prettier than me. Can’t you be a little less pretty?*

Then he would answer without changing his expression.

“What are you talking about? You’re much prettier.”

As if comparing himself to her was absurd.

She knew very well that it wasn’t just trying to say something nice to hear, but 100% sincerity.

Jeong-oh was worried that he seemed to have a huge crush on her, but she was happy. It’s a natural instinct to want to look pretty to the person you love.

Jeong-oh’s steps slowed down when she spotted Ji-heon. Ji-heon immediately moved his steps when he spotted Jeong-oh.

“Sorry. Did you wait long?”

Jeong-oh said to Ji-heon, who had come up to her. Ji-heon didn’t answer Jeong-oh’s question and quickly unbuttoned his coat.

“Why are you dressed like that?”

The coat, which he took off without hesitation, was draped over her shoulders.

Because of the shock of the pregnancy test, she didn’t think about dressing warmly. Only then did Jeong-oh realize that she had come out wearing an early autumn coat.

Ji-heon quickly slipped her arms into the sleeves of the coat.

His shirt was taut along the contours of his broad shoulders and firm chest.

“I have my own style.”

Jeong-oh complained to him, who was making her into a snowman with his clothes. Whether she did or not, Ji-heon finished buttoning it up.

Normally, she might have refused more strongly. But today, for some reason, she thought it would be nice to be warm.

Wearing a coat that was too big for her, she looked like she had come out wrapped in a blanket. He smiled slightly, as if satisfied with her appearance.

“What is this?”

“It suits you well.”

It seemed like he was teasing her, but Jeong-oh couldn’t grumble anymore. If he smiled like that with the visuals of a high school girl’s first love, she couldn’t say anything.

But I have to say it.

“Shall we go eat?”

“Ah, no!”

Jeong-oh was slightly embarrassed by Ji-heon’s first question and shook her head. She felt like she would feel nauseous again if she saw the food in front of her. It felt even more overwhelming after confirming the two lines on the test kit.

“You’re not going to eat?”

“Yeah.”

The smile that had melted her heart disappeared. Ji-heon frowned again and examined her condition.

Seeing that she was refusing the food she liked so much, he must have thought that she wasn’t feeling well, and his face clearly showed that he had made a hasty judgment.

A large hand, as if to cover her entire face, came and gently covered her forehead.

Ji-heon immediately changed his plans for her body, which was carrying a slight fever even in the cold wind of early winter.

“Let’s go. I’ll take you home.”

He had judged that she was a patient.

Ji-heon’s fingers were firmly intertwined between Jeong-oh’s slender fingers. The two hands that touched each other gradually absorbed each other’s temperature.

Jeong-oh’s anxiety was slightly washed away by the cozy feeling of her body and mind being filled with his warmth.

Densely packed studio apartments.

The sun had set while walking home. Ji-heon, who had arrived in front of her house, let go of Jeong-oh’s hand.

“Go in quickly.”

“Come in.”

“No. You look tired. Go and rest quickly.”

“No! I’m not tired at all. I’m full of energy!”

Jeong-oh’s face turned red, and she raised her voice, denying her physical condition.

“I have something to do, so I have to go home.”

He smiled warmly and made another excuse.

“What is it?”

“Oh? Lee Jeong-oh!”

The moment she asked him a question, a man called Jeong-oh’s name from a distance.

“*Senior* [older male student].”

Jeong-oh turned her head and said to the man. He was a *senior* from her department who lived in a nearby studio apartment.

Ji-heon also frowned and turned his head.

The man, who came up to Jeong-oh as if Ji-heon, who was standing next to Jeong-oh, was invisible, ruffled Jeong-oh’s hair.

“Hey, how can you be such a neglectful neighbor for almost a month?”

Ji-heon also raised his hand at the man’s annoying behavior. Fortunately, the man withdrew his hand before Ji-heon could stop him.

“Are you that busy?”

“Yes. I’ve been a little busy.”

“Dating?”

The man teased Jeong-oh slightly. Jeong-oh became embarrassed as Ji-heon’s eyes filled with intensity. As Jeong-oh bit her lip, the man, who belatedly recognized Ji-heon’s fierce eyes, immediately stepped back.

“Have a good date and let’s have a meal later.”

The man nodded to Ji-heon and left the spot right away.

After the man left, the air became awkward for a while. Feeling like she had to explain, Jeong-oh carefully opened her mouth.

“He’s a *senior* from my department, and he lives around here.”

“Let’s go up.”

He changed his plans again. Until just now, he said he was just going to leave. He said he had something to do.

Jeong-oh, who wanted to talk to him quietly, also nodded.

But for some reason, her steps up the stairs felt heavy.

In the tension that the heavy footsteps following her would soon engulf her, Jeong-oh slowly moved her steps.

Soon, the two reached the 3rd floor.

Jeong-oh’s slender fingers unlocked the door lock, and in the silence, the front door opened with a thud.

A cozy space of about four *pyeong* [approximately 132 square feet]. It feels like a storm is raging several times over in that cozy space today.

As always, Ji-heon hugged her shoulders from behind.

Even though she knew it was a predicted storm, Jeong-oh let out a low exclamation.

“Your body is cold.”

“…….”

“I’ll warm you up.”

As he unbuttoned the coat he had put on her again, he whispered softly close to her ear, as if he would bite it off. The breath at her ear soon moved to her neck.

As the thick coat he had put on her fell to the floor, he turned Jeong-oh’s body around.

Her mind became blurred as if she was possessed by his eyes, which seemed to erase all thoughts.

As her head moved, his sharp jawline stood out.

The clear shadows created by the dim light are imprinted in her eyes. Her eyes hurt.

She tried to create a gap by stepping back, but he quickly closed it. As her feet were pushed back, Jeong-oh suddenly sat down on the bed. It seemed that she had unintentionally led him to the bed.

He, who filled her vision, smiled faintly as if satisfied and lowered his body.

A clear breath flowed calmly into her mouth. It was a gentle pace, but the heat was not so kind. Jeong-oh lowered her eyelids as her eyes stung from the hot breath. It was already too much to hold on to her racing heart.

Her body, her gaze, and her voice could not escape him.

She always falls into it. As if it were natural.

What should I do?

But I have to say it.

“Wait… a minute.”

She couldn’t beat him with strength. Of course, she had never tried to beat him either.

“Wait a minute.”

Jeong-oh, who barely escaped from his kiss, spoke again. Her breath, full of heat, burst out rapidly with a small voice.

His eyebrows were slightly distorted just by stopping the attempt.

Her wet lips were glistening. His gaze was fixed there.

As if telling her to speak quickly.

Jeong-oh moved her heated lips and slowly made a voice.

“I… I have something to say.”

Her heart was pounding in a different way.

What kind of expression will you make now?