A Child Who Resembles Me [EN]: Chapter 114

114. If We Have a Next Life

Jiheon couldn’t answer the doctor’s question and just panted.

“Mr. Jung Jiheon.”

The doctor approached Jiheon again, but Jiheon flinched, instinctively recoiling. He just hugged Jungo tightly, gasping for breath, holding on desperately as if he would fall if he let her go.

It was an extreme hypnotic rejection. It wasn’t just difficult to recall memories; it was impossible to even approach them.

Jungo also froze at Jiheon’s intense reaction. If she moved even a little, he held her even tighter.

“Don’t go.”

“…….”

“Stay here.”

Jungo hesitated and looked at the doctor, who nodded. Calming Jiheon was the priority. Jungo had no choice but to stand still, held by Jiheon.

After a long wait, his breathing calmed down, and the strength of his grip loosened. Jungo carefully took a step back from Jiheon.

Even in that moment, Jiheon moved his hand towards Jungo as if an invisible string connected their fingertips, as if trying to grab her. Jungo took his hand. It was a hand with no warmth at all.

“Oppa, are you okay?”

Jungo bent down and sat in front of him.

Jiheon, who had been staring past Jungo’s shoulder with a pale face, gradually met her eyes.

“Shall we stop here, or would you like to continue a little longer?”

The doctor also asked cautiously. Jiheon didn’t answer, so Jungo asked again.

“Shall we stop for today?”

“……Yeah.”

Jiheon answered in a choked voice.

Even after that, it was a long time before Jiheon got up from his chair. Without another word, he bowed to the doctor with his lips tightly shut and left the consultation room first. His steps seemed heavy, as if he were walking in clothes soaked with water after falling into the sea.

Jungo also greeted the doctor.

“Doctor, I’ll leave now. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. I’ll call you later. For now, it seems important for the patient to be mentally stable.”

The title ‘Jung Jiheon’ had become ‘the patient’ at some point. Worried about Jiheon’s condition, Jungo couldn’t talk to the doctor any longer and hurried out the door.

Jiheon, who came out of the consultation room, picked up his suit jacket and rummaged through his pockets. He had to contact the driver waiting in the parking lot.

His cell phone was in his jacket pocket. The moment he took the phone out of his pocket, he heard Jungo approaching from behind.

“Oppa.”

It wasn’t like he was particularly surprised, but the strength in his fingers suddenly drained away.

Thud.

The phone fell to the floor. Seeing him stiffen again, Jungo quickly ran over and picked up the phone.

“You need to contact the driver, right? I’ll do it.”

Jiheon mutely watched Jungo calmly make the call.

Why on earth.

Why did he have this eerie feeling that he was going to lose her again? He didn’t know why he had such absurd thoughts out of nowhere, and it made him uncomfortable.

Jiheon was led by Jungo’s hand down to the first floor. The driver was waiting in front of the door.

“You’re going to the company, right?”

“Yes.”

Jungo answered the driver’s question. A long time after the car started moving, Jiheon finally spoke.

“Driver.”

“Yes, Director.”

“Let’s go home.”

“To the apartment, you mean? Understood.”

The driver changed direction.

At Jiheon’s decision, Jungo turned her head to look at Jiheon. He was staring straight ahead, holding Jungo’s hand tightly, then closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat.

He must be feeling so bad that it’s hard for him to go back to work.

Jungo also felt bad. She felt sorry for recommending hypnotherapy to Jiheon.

Arriving at the apartment, the two got out of the car together. Jiheon held Jungo’s hand tightly and didn’t let go, even when getting out of the car or getting into the elevator. He didn’t let go of her hand even when opening the front door.

After the front door opened, Jungo moved ahead.

“Oppa, how much did you sleep yesterday?”

“Just enough.”

“How much is ‘enough’?”

While the questions continued, the two reached the bedroom. Jungo took her hand away first. As in the consultation room, Jiheon’s empty hand followed Jungo. But Jungo didn’t notice because she was busy tidying the bed.

“Lie down first. You need to rest.”

Jungo grabbed Jiheon’s arm and gently guided him to sit on the bed. She lifted his legs onto the bed and unbuttoned his shirt. While Jungo was taking care of him, Jiheon sat still, like a customer at a barbershop.

Soon, Jungo unbuttoned all of Jiheon’s shirt buttons and took off his clothes, then pulled over the blanket that had been folded back.

“Even if you can’t sleep, just lie down for a while. I’m going to get water……”

Whack.

Thud.

She was just about to say she was going to get water when a strong grip grabbed her. Jungo was pulled onto the bed in an instant.

“Where are you going?”

“No, I’m just going to get water……”

“You stay here too.”

Jiheon grabbed Jungo’s waist and pulled her closer. He gently brushed back her slightly disheveled hair, letting his gaze slide in the direction his hand was moving.

He seemed like he was about to say something, or like he was organizing his thoughts, so Jungo just stared at him.

In the meantime, he pulled her waist again. It was so unexpected that Jungo flailed her arms as if swimming in the air and was pulled down again.

Her upper body was pushed back, and her back landed on the bed sheet. She was trying to lay him down, but she took the spot first. Above her, the man who had taken off his shirt and was bare-chested cast a firm shadow.

Just a moment ago, he had looked like a lion who had lost its mane, with all its strength drained, but she didn’t know how he had come back to life and was emitting such blazing heat. The gap was confusing, and a sigh, like a breath on a snowy day, burst from her lips.

You need to rest.

But she felt like she was going to cry before she could even give him that advice. His heavy warmth was also transmitted to her. It was so sudden that she was at a loss for words and just gaped.

As if taking her blankly opened mouth as a signal, his lips landed with a cracked breath. It was a hurried breath, as if he was entangling his own breath and craving artificial respiration.

Even as his breath was being crushed, his hands, moving rapidly, undid many buttons as if repaying her for what she had done.

After the hands that had completed their mission left, he raised his upper body again and opened his mouth.

“As you know.”

“…….”

“It’s not that I want to, but I’m going to.”

It was an autocratic decision. The words stopped there.

Even though his voice was vague, Jungo couldn’t refuse.

She couldn’t understand why he still had a look of loss on his face. He still seemed to be stuck in a hypnotic state.

He was like a wild animal that didn’t know how to cry and had locked up its tears. Yet, he had a seemingly nonchalant attitude. At that contradictory sight, her heart fluttered. Jungo carefully reached out her hand, like a person encountering an unknown beast for the first time.

The sly heart that had made a request but secretly wanted permission was quietly relieved. Jiheon, who had regained a faint smile, lowered his heated upper body again.

The light that had been filtered and scattered by the curtains seeped into her curves. When a reddish mark settled on her white skin, an overwhelming joy arose in the midst of the guilt that bloomed together.

Jiheon craved her like a man who was frustrated because he couldn’t hold the light in his hand. One moment, he felt a sense of satisfaction that seemed to press him down, and the next moment, he felt an unbearable thirst.

Jungo embraced the rough, slightly overwhelming weight. It was a time when she should have been worried about him, but her vision spun.

The unfamiliar aspects of him that occasionally emerged, which she hadn’t even known about seven years ago, were overwhelming and scary, but she felt like she could handle them. She embraced him in a way that only Lee Jungo could do in this world.

When he called out ‘Jungo-ya,’ the inside of her eyelids became hot and moist.

Jungo-ya.

Jungo-ya. I must have had feelings that I was hiding from you.

When you said you were pregnant, I was worried about you, but I probably secretly rejoiced.

That I could finally tie you down next to me.

It was a shameful selfishness. A feeling that shouldn’t be discovered by her.

But Jiheon still had the selfish desire to keep her by his side and possess her more. He was thirsty for things that didn’t go his way. He didn’t know how to control it. Even if he did, he wanted to remain ignorant forever.

He was burning inside because he couldn’t do anything more to the person already by his side. Perhaps that feeling was a more terrible addiction than love.

.*. *. *. *. *. *.

Seunggyu came down to the first floor of the company to wait for Jiheon and Jungo to leave the counseling center and met an unexpected person. It was Chae Eunyeop.

Chae Eunyeop’s law firm had cut ties with Max Planning a while ago, and he didn’t know why he was still loitering around here. He was just going to ignore him, but Chae Eunyeop took a step closer and spoke.

“Long time no see, Park Seunggyu.”

It had been a while, but his swaggering attitude was the same. Seunggyu coldly retorted.

“Why are you loitering around here?”

“Do you think only your company is in this building?”

“…….”

“How can you work with such a narrow mind?”

He couldn’t know the truth, but since several companies were in the same building, he might have really come to visit another company.

Seunggyu turned away, inwardly resenting that he couldn’t kick Eunyeop out of the lobby. Jiheon had left with the driver, so he would appear in the first-floor lobby. He just hoped that he wouldn’t run into Eunyeop at that time.

Eunyeop’s voice was heard again from behind Seunggyu, who had taken a few steps.

“You parasitic bastard.”

“What?”

“Why are you so upset? As if you’ve never heard such a thing before.”

Seunggyu, who had reacted, approached again.

“Park Seunggyu, you ended up approaching Jung Jiheon because of his money, didn’t you? Do you think Jung Jiheon doesn’t think of you that way?”

Eunyeop gave a bitter smile and continued.

“I don’t know how close you were to Jung Jiheon in the military, but Jung Jiheon doesn’t even remember. Who knows if you deliberately came to the hospital and pretended to be close. You ended up becoming a parasite who sucks money from the Serene Group and milked Jung Jiheon for seven years, but it’s ridiculous to pretend to be a true friend.”

Seunggyu grabbed Eunyeop’s collar in anger. Eunyeop smiled as if telling him to hit him. He knew very well that it was the guy’s trick. Seunggyu frowned and let go.

.*. *. *. *. *. *.

Jiheon’s eyelids were fluttering as if he was in a light sleep. He hoped he wouldn’t be in pain in his dreams, but he was worried that he was having a nightmare.

If you’re having a nightmare, should I wake you up? No, that’s also your precious rest, so should I leave it alone?

Many worries follow the heart that loves someone.

Jungo was lost in thought, recalling the other side of him that she had seen in the counseling room today.

In the depths of your heart, not only the memory of loving me but also the pain of leaving me is engraved, isn’t it?

After watching him for a while, Jungo got up and came out to the living room and contacted the doctor. The doctor conveyed his opinion in a serious voice.

[It seems that the trauma from the accident seven years ago is considerable. I think the shock at that time is blocking the memories of the accident.]

“…….”

[It can be seen positively that he is reacting to the past. However, I think treatment should come before eliciting memories.]

“Yes, I think so too. If the process of recalling memories is so painful, it might be better not to do it.”

Jungo also carefully expressed her opinion.

[It will be very difficult as it is. But treatment is necessary, even if it’s not with me.]

“…….”

[Still, it’s fortunate that he relies on Lee Jungo a lot. Please continue to support him.]

“What…… what should I do now?”

[Talk to him a lot. Make him laugh a lot and make him comfortable. Showing Lee Jungo’s honest feelings will also have a positive effect on Jung Jiheon.]

The doctor kindly told her the advice that Jungo and Jiheon needed now and hung up the phone. Jungo finished the call and returned to the bedroom.

In the meantime, Jiheon had woken up and was sitting on the bed. His slightly anxious eyes stabilized after confirming Jungo’s face.

“Why did you wake up? Sleep more.”

“You come here too.”

When Jungo sat on the bed, Jiheon hugged her waist again.

“I can’t. I have to go to Yena.”

“Ah, that’s right.”

“No. Oppa, you can lie down.”

As he tried to get up, leading his heavy body, Jungo stopped him.

“You’ve worked too hard.”

She wanted him to rest today.

“Jung Jiheon.”

“…….”

“I love you.”

Jiheon was stunned by the sudden confession in the silence. Should he say his heart was throbbing?

……So this is what it feels like.

It was the first time she had told him she loved him first.

“Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“……Again.”

“I love you.”

As if she could do anything he wanted, she continued her confession. It was a refreshing confession that seemed to wash away the soot that had been stuck in various parts of his body. Jiheon grabbed her waist tightly. He had to try hard not to show tears.

So this is what it feels like to say I love you. This is what it feels like to be grateful.

“Do it again.”

“I love you, Oppa.”

With each of her confessions, he wanted to add that he was grateful for loving him. But Jiheon took only what he wanted, full of tension. He was so amazed by the love that came back as if it were originally his, without saying thank you or repaying it.

Am I still dreaming?

It still feels like a dream that you are by my side.

Jungo-ya.

Thank you for loving me.

If we have a next life, I hope I remember you this time. I don’t want to forget anymore. Now let me remember you. I’ll go to you.