A Child Who Resembles Me [EN]: Chapter 160

160. It’s Not Too Late Yet

“Happy birthday, Dad! Wake up!”

A sparrow-like child who occasionally wakes up before I do.

There are mornings when the name ‘Dad,’ which the child habitually seeks, feels unfamiliar.

The time I’ve lived as the child’s father is much shorter than the time I was alone, so in my dreams, I’m my old self, but when morning comes, I hurriedly search for my present self. The word ‘Dad’ is still unfamiliar but also wonderfully strange.

I became a father because of the people I love.

My first birthday as a father.

It was also the beginning of a new life for Jiheon.

Jiheon raised his arm, pulled Yena into his embrace, and turned to his side. Yena, who had been lying on top of him, using her dad as a bed, was pulled down to the floor by Jiheon’s arm.

Yena exclaimed and laughed as if she were riding an airplane at an amusement park. Jiheon embraced the ticklish laughter and held her in his arms.

As his mind cleared, he suddenly remembered what had happened on his child’s birthday.

It was before he knew about Yena. He couldn’t honestly express his feelings for Jungeo and was sulking because of jealousy. He was harsh, trying to keep Jungeo by his side until late. It was a day when he only satisfied his own desires without knowing how much she was worried.

Much later, he found out that day was Yena’s birthday, and he regretted it immensely.

How many more regrets, how many more reflections will I have?

“Instead of celebrating Dad’s birthday, let’s celebrate Yena’s birthday.”

Jiheon said, holding Yena tightly.

“Nooo. It’s Dad’s birthday. Dad, I can’t breathe!”

Yena, unable to overcome Jiheon’s strength, twisted her body and escaped from his arms.

Thanks to the cheerful wrestling in the morning, Jiheon’s mind also cleared. After falling asleep and waking up in the seaside village, it felt like he could hear the sound of waves if he listened carefully.

Jungeo and Guksun were sleeping separately at Jinseo’s house, so only Jiheon and Yena were in the tent. It was still early dawn, so they couldn’t run around noisily in the yard.

“Shall we go see the sea with Dad?”

“Yes!”

Jiheon came out of the tent with Yena, who was warmly dressed.

“Yena!”

As soon as Yena came out, Dobin also came out of his tent, welcoming Yena. Dobin had also woken up early. Seunggyu also followed, with tired eyes and messy hair.

“Dobin! We’re going to see the sea. Let’s go together!”

“Okay!”

Dobin and Seunggyu joined Jiheon and Yena’s walk. As they walked, holding the children’s hands tightly, the bluish dawn faded. After walking for a while, the sound of waves, along with the morning breeze, was heard nearby. Yena shouted as she saw the sea.

“Huh? Dad! The mudflat is gone!”

It was high tide in the morning, so the area that was mudflat yesterday was all filled with seawater. The sea, with its higher water level, looked quite different from yesterday. Dobin looked even more surprised.

“Did the mudflat disappear because I took all the clams?”

“I guess so.”

“Then what should we do?”

“We have to ask the sea. Ask it to return the mudflat.”

At Seunggyu’s playful answer, Dobin put his hands together.

“I won’t catch clams anymore! Please return the mudflat!”

“Since Dobin prayed, the mudflat will come back soon.”

While Seunggyu was teasing his son, Jiheon gave Yena a serious answer.

“The mudflat didn’t disappear, the seawater just rose. When time passes, the water will recede, and you’ll see the mudflat you saw yesterday.”

“When time passes?”

“Yes. When time passes.”

“How long will it take?”

“It’ll be around lunchtime.”

“Then let’s come again at lunchtime!”

“Okay. Let’s do that.”

There is no right answer to parenting. Because children and parents are all different.

Yena said she would come again but didn’t leave and played for a long time. The children took off their shoes and took a step into the sea, then retreated from the big waves, repeating the process. Yena giggled, saying the feeling of the waves washing her feet was ticklish.

.*. *. *. *. *. *.

At the same time.

In the kitchen of Jinseo’s family home, preparations for breakfast were in full swing. Jungeo, who was pregnant, and Jinseo were precious daughters, so the elders ended up preparing Jiheon’s birthday meal most diligently.

Jinseo’s mother spoke kindly to Guksun, who was making seaweed soup.

“I heard from Jinseo that you’re studying these days. I heard you passed the written exam in one go.”

“That’s true, but there’s a lot to learn in the practical exam. Even though I’ve been cooking all my life, it all sounds like things I’m hearing for the first time.”

Guksun shyly revealed her realistic difficulties.

“Trying to study late in life isn’t as quick as I thought, so I just get impatient. I keep thinking it’s too late.”

Jinseo’s mother nodded for a moment at Guksun’s concerns and then opened her mouth.

“They call me ‘new bride’ here. It’s not teasing, but the people in this neighborhood really think I’m young. I’m the youngest in this neighborhood.”

“…….”

“How does it feel to be called ‘new bride’? Even at this age, I want to be pampered and loved.”

Everything in the world depends on how you think about it.

Just like the mischievous Dobin becomes more mature as he is praised, and like the sheltered Jiheon has become a good father, a good husband, and a reliable son-in-law.

“It’s not too late for anything yet. What are you worried about when you’re as beautiful as a flower? Even if you go slowly, nothing will be too late.”

“…….”

“With your cooking skills and experience, it seems like you should be training disciples, but you keep trying to learn and challenge yourself, how wonderful is that? You only look wonderful in my eyes.”

Guksun gained strength from Jinseo’s mother’s encouragement. It was a morning to be grateful for having the blessing of gaining wisdom from a good relationship.

Soon, Jiheon and Yena returned from the beach, and a grand birthday feast was set up in the living room. Jiheon, who had a happy meal with everyone’s congratulations, approached Guksun.

“Mother, thank you. It was the most delicious seaweed soup I’ve ever had.”

“…….”

“But it’s always like that, your food.”

She felt proud of her son-in-law’s greeting.

Guksun thought. That right now was the most beautiful moment in her life.

.*. *. *. *. *. *.

The birthday, which was just another day flowing by among ordinary days, felt like a bustling festival this year. Jiheon, who thought he would be happy if he could just give his family all the love he wanted, realized that receiving love was just as joyful.

After having a birthday party, receiving gifts from Seunggyu’s family, and wandering around with the children, time flew by.

Before he knew it, it was time to go home. After saying goodbye to the people he had grown fond of, the car departed. Yena and Dobin sang ‘Let’s come again’ throughout the car ride back to Seoul.

After a somewhat chaotic time amidst the children’s chatter, the car arrived in Seoul. After parting ways with Dobin’s family and returning home, the world had already turned dark. Yena ate dinner and fell asleep right away, and Guksun also went into her room early.

Jiheon quietly followed Jungeo, looking for an opportunity. Because he wanted something.

He hadn’t received a gift from Jungeo yet. Jungeo had been quite busy lately, so she probably didn’t have time to prepare a gift. That situation was useful to Jiheon.

‘Where’s my gift? Where is the gift?’

‘Ah… oh no. What should I do?’

‘You didn’t even prepare a gift? Humph.’

‘Oppa [term of endearment used by a younger woman to an older man], I’m sorry. I’ll give myself as a gift instead.’

‘Humph. Then be prepared.’

Jiheon, who had simulated the desired situation in his head, approached Jungeo and asked.

“Where’s my gift? Where is the gift?”

“Wait a minute.”

“You didn’t even prepare a gift?”

“Ta-da!”

However, it was different from Jiheon’s expectations. As soon as Jiheon asked about the gift, Jungeo rummaged under the bed and took out a box. Jiheon’s face, which had been wearing a subtle smile with other expectations, turned blank.

“Open it quickly.”

Jiheon was led by Jungeo’s excited voice and opened the box. And his blank face became even more sullen.

The gift Jungeo had prepared was none other than food for the mind, books. 「Leadership to Lead an Organization」, 「110 Leadership Skills a CEO Should Know」, 「Smart Leadership Saves the Company」… The titles also seemed to reveal her intentions…

So, you thought I was lacking. My leadership.

I’ll really take charge.

“I bought them thinking they might be helpful to you, Oppa. Even though it looks like this, I really worked hard to choose them. They’re the best books among the many leadership books.”

“Humph.”

“Huh? You don’t like the gift?”

“No. I love it. So be prepared.”

“Huh?”

“You gave me a gift I love, so I have to repay you.”

Even if the situation flowed differently from his expectations, Jiheon’s destination was the same. Jungeo’s expression, which had been wearing a gentle smile, stopped and hardened. Her pupils tightened as he cupped her cheek with his large hand and tickled her chin with his fingertips.

“I’ve been studying a bit. So that it doesn’t burden our Jungeo and Simkungie [term of endearment for their unborn child]…”

I even studied for moments like this.

Drrr. Drrr.

Jiheon’s plan to decorate the finale of his birthday was disturbed by civilization.

Jiheon’s cell phone, which had been left carelessly on the bed, rang. Jungeo recognized the letters that appeared on the phone first. It was Jiheon’s father, Jaekwang. Jungeo picked up the phone and handed it to Jiheon. Jiheon sighed bitterly and answered the phone.

“Yes, Father.”

[Oh, yes. That’s…]

“…….”

[Happy birthday.]

Jaekwang awkwardly offered his congratulations to the dryly received call. Jiheon stretched his lips long at the awkward voice.

He didn’t have many memories of receiving birthday greetings from his father. It seemed Jaekwang was calling instead of the sick Youngmi.

“Yes. Thank you.”

[Your mother also told me to tell you she congratulates you.]

“Yes. How is Mother?”

[She’s getting better and better. She might be able to be discharged as early as next week.]

“That’s good news.”

[When she’s discharged, bring all your family home. Bring your in-laws too.]

“I will.”

The call ended plainly. After finishing the call, he felt a little heavy-hearted. Jungeo, who quickly recognized Jiheon’s changed expression, asked.

“Are you okay?”

“About what?”

“You want to be congratulated by your parents on your birthday, don’t you?”

“I’m not a child.”

“But you’re forever a baby to your mom and dad.”

Jiheon smiled faintly. It wasn’t a desire to be congratulated.

As if guessing even that feeling, Jungeo suggested.

“Go. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen your mother.”

“It’s too late.”

“It’s not too late yet. Go quickly.”

The husband who must have felt a void in one corner of his heart every time he saw the relationship between herself and Guksun. The husband who didn’t show anything despite that. Jungeo wanted to let that husband know. That you are also your parents’ precious son.

.*. *. *. *. *. *.

Jiheon visited the hospital following Jungeo’s advice.

He first ran into Jaekwang, who happened to be out in the hallway. Jaekwang’s face lit up at his son’s unexpected visit.

“What’s going on? All the way here.”

“Jungeo told me to come.”

“Your mother will be happy.”

Jaekwang took the lead and led Jiheon to the hospital room.

The hospital room door opened.

“Honey.”

“What are you trying to say to call me so nicely?”

Youngmi retorted, her voice softer than usual. It was a prickly reply, but her tone was slow. Her voice was heavy because she didn’t have as much energy as she wanted.

Jiheon also entered the hospital room.

“I’m here.”

Youngmi, who had been leaning on the bed with her eyes closed, opened her eyes and turned her head.

Her son had come to visit.

Her face contorted as she confirmed the owner of the voice. A glass film quickly swelled over her two eyes.

A time when she couldn’t easily open her mouth.

Huuu. Huk…

After a while, a sob with many meanings flowed out.

Jiheon quietly watched his mother’s small, shaking shoulders.

No other words were needed.

The regret and lamentation dripping with tears quietly proved Youngmi’s heart.

Please forgive me, I forgive you… It was a time when apologies and permission were not needed.

Time passed in the quiet, and Jiheon sat in front of Youngmi.

Youngmi stared at Jiheon with her two eyes reddened from sobbing for a long time.

Jiheon carefully opened his mouth.

“I have Mother’s traits in me.”

Possessiveness, monopolization, and a stubbornness that some might be tired of.

Even if he wanted to deny it, there were unavoidable aspects.

He had resented his mother so much, but in fact, Jiheon was also living that way. He held onto Jungeo with his toxic possessiveness and monopolization, stood against his mother with his stubbornness, and fought with Chae Eunyeop to protect his family.

If it weren’t for Lee Jungeo, his innate tendencies might have harmed someone.

Youngmi slowly replied.

“If it were the old days, I would have been happy to hear that you resemble me.”

“…….”

“Now, I hope you don’t.”

My son has become a better person than me.

I hope he continues to be a better person. I hope he is a different person from me.

The mother who relearned life sincerely hoped so.

“It was really like hell without you by my side.”

Youngmi slowly revealed her past feelings.

“When you said you would never see me again, it felt like my life was over. That’s when I realized your feelings.”

“…….”

“What it’s like to not be able to see your child.”

“I didn’t contact you often even usually.”

“Still, thinking that I could never see you again was a world of difference from before.”

Youngmi’s voice wavered.

“I’m sorry.”

“…….”

“I’m sorry for blocking your memories.”

Youngmi apologized for the past.

Waves also arose in Jiheon’s eyes, which had been calm.

In fact, Jiheon didn’t expect to receive an apology from Youngmi. He thought it would be enough if Jungeo received an apology.

“My poison tormented you too much.”

It was love but it was poison, it was poison but it was still love, the poison of love.

He received an apology for that bondage. From his mother.

“Now, if I do something wrong, will you let me know?”

“…….”

“Can you let me know? Because Mom won’t know.”

The mother’s voice, strained with effort, was trembling. The desperate apology that created eddies of emotion was also bitter and painful for the one receiving it.

“Will you give me a chance to start over?”

Before he knew it, tears similar to his mother’s formed in Jiheon’s eyes as well.

Like a dewdrop that grew in volume on a leaf, swelled in the sunlight, and then burst, it welled up and flowed down.

The wall that was ice slowly melts.

His heart was always there, lingering and waiting for the locked door to open.

A quiet hospital room.

Jiheon watched his mother fall asleep and fell asleep with her.

A butterfly came to him in his dream. No, it felt like he had become a butterfly. His body was light.

The butterfly, playing in various places in the flower garden, flew up to find the flower he had loved long ago.

The butterfly’s wings landed on a day seven years ago.

The day he was preparing to propose. The day he was excited to introduce Jungeo to his mother.

“Don’t worry about me and rest. I’ll visit you soon. I have a friend I’d like to introduce you to.”

[What? Who?]

“I’ll call you again.”

And the night one day before.

The night he found out that Jungeo was pregnant, and he was trembling and excited.

“I’m sorry. You must have a lot of things you want to do, but I’m holding you back.”

[I thought you would hate it, Oppa.]

“How could I hate it? I’m just sorry to you.”

The voice of the person he loved, and his own kind voice that resembled the person he loved, were like a gentle breeze. The butterfly flew up again in the breeze.

And, how we loved.

“I was intimidated because you were prettier than me, Oppa. Can’t you be a little less pretty?”

“What are you talking about? You’re much prettier.”

And how we met again.

“Excuse me. Are you Korean?”

“…….”

“I’m the person you bumped into earlier, I was wondering if you were hurt badly.”

Seven years ago, on a street in Melbourne.

The butterfly guided Jiheon to the day he found a Korean person while searching for the 10 dollars that had fallen on the street and put that pretty woman who burst into tears in his heart.

Naturally, like the mudflat that was submerged in the high tide was revealed in the low tide.

Twenty-six-year-old Jeong Jiheon greeted him.

Twenty-five and twenty-four-year-old young Jeong Jiheon also welcomed him.

Hello. You’re back.

I’ve been waiting all along.

Thank you for finding me not too late.

Happy birthday.