A Child Who Resembles Me [EN]: Chapter 35

35. Saying I Love You

Bae Il, who had been quietly waiting for Jeong-oh’s tears to stop at noon, eventually bought more snacks from the convenience store.

“You seem to have a lot on your mind. Is it because of the long-term unsolved case?”

Bae Il said, filling her glass with liquor. Jeong-oh, who had barely managed to stop crying, sighed deeply and opened her mouth.

“The sea witch in *The Little Mermaid*, you know, she might actually be a sage [a wise and experienced person].”

Bae Il blinked at the absurd topic. His gaze became blank, making him look even more innocent.

“Do you know why the sea witch took the Little Mermaid’s voice? It’s because if the Little Mermaid said just one word, the sea would turn into a sea of blood.”

To such an innocent person, Jeong-oh spoke with a chilling voice like a witch.

“If the Little Mermaid said, ‘I am the Little Mermaid, I lived in the sea with my dad and sisters,’ what would happen? We’d be able to see a mermaid family in the aquarium within a year. The sea witch protected the safety of the sea world.”

Her voice, preaching the harsh reality, was solemn and serious.

*I have no choice but to remain silent for safety. Because I don’t know what impact the truth I’m holding onto will have on your family and my family.*

Bae Il’s expression became thoughtful.

Jeong-oh subtly cautioned him, thinking he might be taking her absurd story too seriously.

“Don’t tell this story to the kids. Let’s keep it just between us.”

“Ah… Yes.”

Bae Il’s answer was as artless as his image.

Venting to someone who doesn’t know her situation was quite effective.

After emptying a bottle of soju [Korean distilled rice liquor], her heart felt a little lighter.

She felt like she could shake it off and live well again from tomorrow.

Even though she was afraid of running into Jung Ji-heon.

“Officer, thank you so much. As expected, the police are the best.”

Jeong-oh said, raising both thumbs.

“It’s nothing. I’m glad I was helpful. Then, please go safely.”

“Yes! You should go in too, Officer!”

Following Bae Il, Jeong-oh also bowed.

However, despite the cheerful greeting, an awkward situation continued.

Ha ha. Ha ha.

Because they kept going in the same direction, they would awkwardly smile when they met while walking, and then awkwardly greet each other again when they met again.

After walking for a few more minutes, Jeong-oh spoke.

“We’re going in the same direction.”

“That’s right. My house is across from the Lemon Laundry over there.”

“Oh? The 6-story villa over there?”

“Yes.”

“I’m in the 5-story villa next to it. We’re neighbors! It’s so reassuring to have a police officer as a neighbor!”

As Jeong-oh revealed her delight, Bae Il finally smiled.

*He’s even more handsome when he smiles. He must be very popular at the police station.*

Jeong-oh also looked at Bae Il’s face and smiled contentedly.

“What do you do, Lee Jeong-oh?”

“I’m a copywriter.”

“Oh. That’s cool.”

“I’m still struggling in many ways, though.”

“Still, it’s amazing. You’re raising a child alone and working too.”

“I’m getting a lot of help from my mom. Ah, Officer, are you married?”

“No. I live alone.”

“If you don’t have a girlfriend, can I set you up with someone?”

“No. I’m fine. I prefer being alone right now.”

Bae Il neatly refused.

*I guess there must be a lot of people making this kind of offer besides me.*

Jeong-oh decided to just be satisfied with having a police officer as a neighbor.

It was a reasonably good night.

* * * * * * *

The next day.

Ji-heon, who had gone to work early in the morning and returned from an external meeting, finally returned to the company late in the afternoon.

He had a lot of things to take care of before going out, so he couldn’t greet Jeong-oh even after spotting her in the morning. He was planning to create an opportunity to talk to her quietly after coming back, but she wasn’t at her seat.

“Where did Lee Jeong-oh go?”

He asked Gi-hoon, who was sitting next to Jeong-oh.

“She went to the studio for a radio ad recording today.”

“Tell her to stop by my office when she gets back.”

“Director, there’s a new product tasting event for Dawon Liquor today. Everyone will be moving there a little later. Ms. Lee will be coming there right after the recording.”

At Gi-hoon’s words, a weak sigh escaped from between Ji-heon’s lips.

He clearly remembered it until yesterday, but after hearing Lee Jeong-oh’s shocking confession, his mind went blank.

He couldn’t understand what this feeling was.

*He found out that he didn’t resemble her father.*

Okay, that’s fine. He could understand the lie. Anyway, she didn’t want to have the frame of resembling her father.

But, she said he resembled her ex-boyfriend? Is that true?

He realized that when he pretended to be her deceased father in front of her, the word she said wasn’t ‘Dad’ but ‘Oppa’ [older brother or term of endearment].

*’How much do I resemble him? Enough to be mistaken for him in a drunken moment?’*

No, was her circuit completely broken because she was drunk?

Whatever it was, it was bitter. He realized that being told he resembled someone wasn’t very pleasant.

At the same time, he was anxious that he might be cut off from her if there wasn’t even such a connection.

On the one hand, he was angry at that ex-boyfriend.

What terrible things did he do before leaving that made her cry so much until now?

*’Could it be… that he passed away?’*

Recalling her tears, he couldn’t rule out that possibility.

How should he ask about her ex-boyfriend?

How much should he ask so that the other person doesn’t feel uncomfortable?

*’I’m even worrying about this now.’*

Because of Lee Jeong-oh. Me.

While feeling complicated about all of this, Ji-heon hurriedly finished his work for the tasting event. And he got in the car not too late.

While moving with the driver, his phone vibrated. Checking it, it was his mother, Jang Young-mi.

He ignored the first call. But he couldn’t ignore the second one. Ji-heon sighed deeply and answered the phone.

“Yes, Mother.”

[Son, are you busy?]

“Yes. I’m heading to an advertiser event.”

His voice also softened at his mother’s affectionate voice. But his expression was coldly hardened. As always.

[Are you eating well? Is there anything hurting?]

“Yes. I’m healthy. How about you, Mother?”

[Oh my, my stomach isn’t good, so I’m suffering a bit. I can’t digest it if I get even a little stressed.]

“Did you go for a checkup? Take your medicine regularly.”

[Yes. Thank you. Is everything okay with you?]

“It’s always the same.”

[Eun-bi came to the house yesterday. She just had a cup of tea and went back without anything happening, but I’m a little worried. Is there something wrong with you guys these days?]

His impression was severely distorted at the name Eun-bi. She caused such a fuss at the company and ran to his mother.

But he couldn’t talk to his mother about his relationship with Eun-bi right now.

He was frustrated that he couldn’t say a word properly because he was worried about his mother’s health.

“…Isn’t there?”

“Yes. I’ll tell you soon.”

Young-mi and Eun-bi have been close for quite a long time, so it will take a long time to sort things out. Ji-heon thought that he should visit Young-mi someday.

[Mom is just anxious when her son says that.]

“…”

[Don’t make Mom and Dad too hard. Ji-heon, do you know Mom’s heart? It’s because we all love you. Do you know?]

“Of course.”

[Do you really know?]

“Of course. I also…”

“…Love you.”

He spat out a confession that wasn’t sincere in order to end the call quickly.

Thanks to the cheesy love confession, the call was able to end quickly. Ji-heon turned off his phone.

While 3 years’ worth of memories disappeared as if cut off with scissors, there were quite a few memories from a long time ago that were revived.

Was it when he was nine years old?

There was a friend he wanted to be close to. He was a cheerful, smart, and talented friend. They took Go [a strategic board game] genius classes together at school, but after his mother confirmed that he was friends with that friend, she made him stop taking the classes.

“He doesn’t have a dad. If you hang out with a kid like that, you’ll get bad influences.”

Ji-heon couldn’t understand the bad influences that a child without a dad had. So he argued with his mother several times. But he couldn’t change the result.

“Your mom called my mom. She told me not to play with you.”

One day, his friend said that. When Ji-heon insisted, Jang Young-mi called the friend’s mother directly.

That was the first time he hated his mom.

Young-mi said to such Ji-heon with a pitiful expression, as if he would understand everything someday.

“You shouldn’t hate Mom. It’s because we all love you.”

That love was a means of exploitation. The label of love followed every moment of interference and disconnection.

Saying I love you.

That damn saying I love you.

So Ji-heon didn’t want to attach the word love to his desires.

As he came to hate the word love, nothing could be the object of love.

So, there was nothing precious.

“You don’t have anything precious. Everyone who has passed you is insignificant to you.”

His friend Seung-gyu’s stinging criticism was completely true.

Is that why? Even if the memories of 7 years ago, the memories of three repeated seasons, disappeared in chunks, is it because I don’t have anything precious that I’m so indifferent?

His stomach ached as he recalled the empty past.

Before he knew it, the car had entered a small road in Haengdang-dong. He heard it was a unique pub near the university district, but the driver tilted his head as if he was unfamiliar with the road.

Ji-heon, who suddenly gave his gaze out the car window, suddenly felt a tingling in his head and stopped the car.

“Drop me off here.”

“We still have to go a little further. Director.”

“I’ll walk now. I have a headache.”

Ji-heon got out of the car.

The season when summer is approaching. Before he knew it, the days had gotten longer, and even though it was past 6 o’clock, it was like midday.

It would be embarrassing to arrive at the tasting event too early, so walking slowly was a good choice. Ji-heon took out his phone to find out the location.

While turning his phone back on, he looked around. He didn’t know anything, but on the one hand, he felt somehow familiar. It’s not like he knew anyone living in Haengdang-dong.

Somehow, he was drawn to it, and he started walking according to his feelings.

With each step he took, he felt like the tasting event was getting further away, but somehow he couldn’t give up. As he walked aimlessly, he suddenly came to his senses and realized he was in a strange place.

It was a university district one-room village with old villas attached to each other.

‘Why am I here?’

Just looking around at the surrounding scenery made his eyes tingle and his heart flutter.

What on earth did I lose?

* * * * * * *

Jeong-oh was outside all afternoon.

Team Leader Sung Mi-ran took good care of Jeong-oh. Mi-ran, who noticed that something big had happened to Jeong-oh yesterday, kept paying attention to Jeong-oh so that Jeong-oh and Ji-heon wouldn’t run into each other, and Jeong-oh and Eun-bi wouldn’t run into each other.

Thanks to that, she was able to spend the day listening to the voice actor’s honey-dripping voice in the recording studio today.

In the evening, there is a new product tasting event for Dawon Liquor.

The recording ended earlier than expected, so Jeong-oh, following Mi-ran’s instructions, didn’t return to the company and immediately took a bus to the tasting venue. The tasting venue was close to the university Jeong-oh graduated from. The road she took on the bus was familiar, so she felt strangely excited.

She had quite a bit of time, so she stopped by the school and strolled around the campus.

The last time Jeong-oh roamed the campus was when she was a junior in college. After that, she took a long leave of absence, and when she returned to school, she only looked for online lectures.

The end of her junior year was a very harsh winter for Jeong-oh.

A body that was slowly changing. A man who had no contact at all.

She was crouching in the house, and one day she came out of the house and walked aimlessly. It was a time when the media was talking about abnormal weather.

It was clearly approaching winter, but forgetting the season, flower buds were sitting on the trees. Watching the flowers that had bloomed wrong because her heart was shaken by the brief warmth, Jeong-oh burst into tears.

She believed in love like a fool.

She believed in a love that she had never even said she loved.

It was so hard that she wanted to die at that time, but 7 years is really amazing.

‘Now that the past doesn’t matter anymore, Mr. Jung Ji-heon.’

As she walked out of the campus and continued walking, she came to the house where she used to live a long time ago. There were several houses that had been newly built around it, but the one-room building where Jeong-oh lived was still the same. She was so happy to see that house.

Remembering memories that had nothing to remember.

She was smiling slightly as she recalled 7 years ago.

Someone’s footsteps pounded like they were hitting her heart. Suddenly, she felt like she was reliving the morning sickness of that time, so Jeong-oh put her hand on her chest and turned her head to find the source.

Jeong-oh’s eyes widened.

He was there.

The man, whose eyes were reddened like the swaying sunset of this season, this moment, was silently staring at her with an expression as surprised as hers.

“…Why is the director…”

*Why are you, why are you here…*

Her pupils transparently swelled up, capturing the scenery where he was standing.

Her heart was suddenly beating so painfully that it felt like it was screaming to be saved.

Even so, she was speechless and couldn’t say anything more.

They met again like people visiting the anniversary of the deceased.

Me, who lost you, and you, who forgot me.