A Child Who Resembles Me [EN]: Chapter 5

5. At First Sight, At a Glance

She had thought about it.

Seoul couldn’t be infinitely large, so she figured they might run into each other someday.

Jeong-oh had imagined that coincidence.

And she steeled herself.

She wouldn’t waver, even if she faced him.

She wouldn’t cry, laugh, or get angry.

She wouldn’t hurt. She wouldn’t say she had hurt a lot.

She would treat him as indifferently as possible.

If they passed by, they would pass by…

She had resolved herself so many times.

Her heart pounded as if it were broken. No, it felt like her whole body was malfunctioning.

Her body wouldn’t move. She didn’t even have the strength to shake off the arm he was holding.

Tears threatened to spill, but it was as if he had blocked everything, and she couldn’t even cry as she pleased.

Their eyes met, each capturing the other’s face.

Unlike Jeong-oh, who couldn’t even breathe properly, Ji-heon was indifferent even after confirming her face.

An expression that showed no joy, surprise, disgust, or embarrassment. An expression that looked at something insignificant.

…What on earth can I say here?

As a myriad of emotions flashed through her mind, Ji-heon straightened her up.

Jeong-oh’s legs were still trembling. She wanted to collapse.

Before the atmosphere became awkward, Mi-ran introduced Jeong-oh to Ji-heon.

“Director. This is Lee Jeong-oh, the copywriter from Production Team 2 who joined today.”

“Ah, a copywriter.”

He recited her position instead of her name, without even raising an eyebrow.

Was that all I was to you?

She was surprised, embarrassed, and felt empty, but her lips still wouldn’t move.

“Nice to meet you.”

He nonchalantly extended his hand for a handshake.

Jeong-oh slowly moved her gaze to look down at his hand.

It was as if a thick line was drawn over the tips of his fingers.

It was as if he was saying that he was sorry to meet her like this, but to keep her distance.

Jeong-oh hesitated before slowly reaching out her hand. She couldn’t help but tremble.

The man she had met again after seven years. The hand she held again after seven years.

His large hand, big enough to cover her entire hand, was still the same, but she no longer felt the warmth she once knew.

‘…Is this your answer?’

Don’t cry.

She clenched her teeth to swallow her emotions.

Only after confirming his reaction could she recall her long-ago resolution.

I will treat him as indifferently as possible.

I will not break down.

She raised her head to look at him.

Eyes as dark, dry, and cold as a desert night.

The deep, profound eyes that she had once loved so much were no longer there.

‘You’ve really changed a lot.’

So much that he seemed like a different person…

Jeong-oh decided to accept reality.

Soon, his hand fell away.

He walked away calmly, without showing any emotion.

Only then did a long sigh escape from her lips.

Her legs gave way, and she had to lean against the wall next to her.

“Are you okay?”

Team Leader Sung Mi-ran, who was standing next to her, asked.

“Ah, yes. I’m fine.”

Jeong-oh answered hastily and stood up straight.

What should I do now? Can I work at this company?

Realistic worries followed. She felt the inside of her scalp drying out.

With her mind still blank, she was led by Team Leader Sung Mi-ran and soon arrived at the team’s seats.

“This is our team’s staff I mentioned yesterday. This is copywriter Lee Jeong-oh.”

Mi-ran introduced Jeong-oh to the team members. Two people in the team got up from their seats.

“This is our team’s PD [Production Director], Deputy Director Park Young-gwang, and this is graphic designer Song Gi-hoon.”

Only after Mi-ran introduced the two did Jeong-oh come to her senses.

“Hello. I’m Lee Jeong-oh, the copywriter.”

“You’re a Deputy Director. Welcome.”

“Wow! Hello!”

A man who looked to be in his mid-30s and a man who looked to be in his 20s greeted her in turn. Both had friendly impressions. However, the woman who didn’t get up and only turned her head slightly to the side had a sullen expression.

“And this is graphic designer Deputy Director Go Eun-joo.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Eun-joo nodded her head and looked back at the monitor. Her expression didn’t match her words.

Jeong-oh had a feeling that company life wouldn’t be easy.

* * * * * * *

“I don’t want to! I don’t want to learn Go [a strategic board game]! Waaaaah!”

Do-bin sat down in front of the Go academy building and cried his heart out.

Passersby glanced at him furtively. To the child, the Go academy seemed like a slaughterhouse rather than a place of learning.

“Stop crying right now!”

Mom, Jin-seo’s voice also rose. They had become a spectacle for the passersby, but there was nothing she could do.

Last week, the child sat next to his father, who was watching a Go broadcast, and asked him questions. They were questions about the rules of Go. His questions showed quite a bit of insight for a seven-year-old.

It seemed like the child was interested in Go, so she asked him if he wanted to go to an academy, and Do-bin nodded excitedly. So Jin-seo was also excited and looked into academies and even registered him.

But after only one day, the child grumbled that it wasn’t fun. Today, he even burst into tears.

Jin-seo also felt like crying.

The academy fees were a waste. She wished he would attend for at least a month.

Jin-seo barely managed to calm her rising emotions and coaxed Do-bin with kind words.

“Son. Just sit there for 30 minutes. If you go and learn for just 30 minutes, Mom will let you play games for 30 minutes.”

“…One hour.”

“Okay. Go quickly.”

In the end, only after attaching a sad condition did the child wipe away his tears. She felt like she had been tricked.

Watching her son’s back as he opened the academy door with slumped shoulders, as if he had lived a full life, Jin-seo sighed deeply.

She wanted to be a good mother.

Not even a great mother.

She thought her child would be good at everything. She thought he would do everything smartly before she even told him to, and if she taught him one thing, he would understand two, three, or four as a matter of course. Because he listened quite well before he could understand words.

The child doesn’t grow up as she wishes. He only tries to do what he wants to do, only tries to eat what he wants to eat, and besides, he’s only seven years old, but why is he so strong?

Apart from the fact that the child is pretty, it can’t be helped that she feels drained from time to time, no, often.

Thus, she came to realize a painful truth that no one had told her.

That the one thing that is absolutely necessary to become a ‘good mother’ is a ‘well-behaved child’.

Hiccup, hiccup. Sniff, sniff.

Do-bin had entered the academy after being promised an hour of games, but he was still sniffling.

The elementary school students were having their lessons, so they were all in the lecture room. Another teacher was there, but he was helping the other students solve problems. Do-bin was abandoned.

He had to live like this for at least a month, but he couldn’t bear it at all. He had to endure for 30 minutes anyway…

“Hey.”

Then, a girl sat in front of Do-bin, who was sniffling. Do-bin raised his head and looked in front of him.

She was a pretty child with big eyes and a fair face, as if she were a doll.

“Don’t cry, look at this.”

She looked like a prim princess, but her voice was as clear and beautiful as a carol song.

Such a child suddenly told him to look at the Go board.

Do-bin obediently lowered his eyes and looked at the Go board. The girl placed her maple leaf-like hand on the Go board.

“Try this.”

Do-bin followed the girl.

Then, the girl suddenly placed Go stones on the back of Do-bin’s hand, one by one.

He didn’t know why she was doing this. Do-bin, who had stopped crying, asked in embarrassment.

“What is this? Why are you doing this?”

“If you drop it, you’ll get a flick on the forehead.”

The girl filled the back of Do-bin’s small hand with Go stones. It was a black flower with five white petals.

When the girl giggled after making the flower, Do-bin completely forgot that he had been crying.

“I’m Lee Ye-na, what’s your name?”

“…Park Do-bin.”

Even as he answered, Do-bin was nervous that he would drop the Go stones. Ye-na asked again.

“You go to Oriole Kindergarten, right?”

“How did you know?”

“I saw your bag yesterday.”

…Were you watching me since yesterday?

Ye-na’s eyes, filled with laughter, sparkled like jewels.

The flower blooming on the back of his hand seemed to float towards his heart.

Just before his tense arm completely stiffened, Ye-na took the stones off Do-bin’s hand. As if playing freeze tag, Do-bin was finally able to move his body.

Ye-na took down the Go stones one by one and said.

“Look at this. This is a white stone, and this is a black stone.”

“I know that too.”

“Do you want to be white or black?”

“Black.”

Do-bin answered all the questions she asked as if he were possessed. If she asked, he felt like he could tell her his home address, his mom, dad, and siblings’ names.

Ye-na nodded and brought the black stone container in front of Do-bin and the white stone container in front of her. And she placed a white stone in the center of the Go board.

“Then I’ll put it here.”

“…”

“Do you know how to capture this?”

This question was difficult. But he could easily recall his father’s answer from a few days ago. Do-bin surrounded the white stone with four black stones to block its liberties.

“Oh. You know how to play Go?”

Ye-na praised Do-bin as if that ordinary move was something amazing. Do-bin’s face turned as red as a rose. The flowers that had flowed into his heart formed a bouquet.

She was a child who smelled like flowers.

“Why are you crying when you know how to play? Don’t cry.”

She said.

Seven-year-old Park Do-bin. This was the first woman in his seven years of life.

Outside the academy. Jin-seo waited anxiously for her son.

Her son, who she thought would run out after only 30 minutes, hadn’t come out for over 40 minutes.

‘Is he still crying?’

In the end, Jin-seo opened the academy door and entered.

“Do-bin.”

“Mom!”

Jin-seo breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of her son, who was smiling brightly with a blooming expression, unlike when he had entered the academy. The teacher also greeted Jin-seo with a welcoming expression.

“Do-bin’s mother, Do-bin is adjusting very well.”

“Oh, really?”

It was the most touching compliment of all. She hugged her son, who had run to her side, to express her feelings.

“Then teacher, please take good care of him tomorrow too.”

“Yes, mother. Don’t worry.”

“Do-bin, say goodbye.”

“Goodbye.”

Do-bin politely greeted the teacher and shouted loudly into the practice room.

“Ye-na, goodbye!”

A pretty girl waved her hand from the practice room.

‘He’s already made a friend.’

The mother was simply proud of her son’s sociability.

Jin-seo, who had come out of the academy, asked Do-bin.

“Son, how was the academy? Was it fun?”

“Yes! A lot!”

Do-bin replied with a very excited expression.

“What was the most fun?”

Her smile was fun. Her voice was happy.

Mom wouldn’t know this happiness.

Do-bin, who couldn’t answer easily, asked a different question after a long time.

“Mom, did you fall in love with Dad at first sight?”

“Where did you learn such words?”

Jin-seo asked with a smile.

“Do you even know what that means?”

“Yes. I know.”

Because I’m experiencing it now!

“Mom, I’m going to work hard at the Go academy!”

Do-bin shouted forcefully.

It was the beginning of first love.

* * * * * * *

Ji-heon, who had returned from his business trip, leaned back in his chair, frowned, and closed his eyes tightly.

A woman he had only briefly encountered once had been on his mind all afternoon…

The new copywriter from Production Team 2.

What was her name?

The woman who looked at him with startled rabbit eyes on a pale face.

The woman was pretty, but to say that was why he was interested seemed insufficient to explain his feelings.

She was a woman whose eyes showed various colors like dragonfly wings. It was as if those wings were fluttering precariously before falling into the water. It also seemed as if she was just breathing, burdened by the wings that were soaked in water.

The woman was desperately enduring that moment.

The impression she gave in a short time was very diverse.

That was a little, no, very…

It made him feel bad.

Those damn dragonfly wings couldn’t block the well-flowing stream. He felt somehow uncomfortable and stuffy.

She was a woman who made him feel strange.

Knock knock.

He heard a knock.

“Yes.”

The door opened at Ji-heon’s reply. Team Leader Sung Mi-ran, whom he had met in the hallway in the morning, came in with documents. It was the preliminary expense application and the list of selected participants for the upcoming competitive PT [Presentation].

Among the names he remembered, there was one name that bothered him.

Lee Jeong-oh.

“Team Leader Sung, the new team member in your team is a copywriter, right?”

Ji-heon asked casually about her while signing the documents.

Mi-ran replied.

“Yes. You’re talking about Deputy Director Lee Jeong-oh, right?”

“Did she have a health checkup before joining the company?”

Mi-ran’s eyes widened as if asking why he was asking that. But she answered immediately.

“I didn’t check separately, but she probably had it as a mandatory requirement.”

“She almost collapsed suddenly, and when I grabbed her, her body was trembling.”

“…”

“It seemed like there was something wrong with her health.”

At Ji-heon’s opinion, Mi-ran made a blank expression again.

‘Is he worried about his employee?’

The man who hadn’t shown a single smile in the week since his appointment. She thought he was a heartless and scary person, but it seemed that wasn’t the case.

“Isn’t it because the Director is too handsome?”

Mi-ran also relaxed her stiff muscles and made a joke. She wanted to get along well with the new head of the division. It wasn’t that she intended to stand in line behind him, but she just wanted to enjoy her work.

“Do you think I’m the kind of person who enjoys such flattery?”

However, the reply that came back was terrifying.

Mi-ran pressed her lips tightly together. She felt like the sharp gaze that seemed like it would tear the document paper apart was making the hairs on her body stand on end.

“Bring Deputy Director Lee Jeong-oh here.”

This time, an unfamiliar order was given to Mi-ran, who was regretting having said unnecessary things.

Mi-ran stared at Ji-heon.

The head of the division had said that he would have personal interviews with the employees of the same division. But it hadn’t happened yet.

Was he starting those interviews? With the employee who transferred today as the first?

As a team leader, she wanted to know the purpose, even if it was brief, so she opened her lips again.

“What is the matter with Deputy Director Lee Jeong-oh…”

“Bring her here.”

However, Ji-heon mercilessly cut off her words.

He had only one thought.

“Now.”

That he had to see her again right now.