Having barely made it through the third preliminary round, I realized I was still getting nervous on audition programs.
Looking back, I think it was because I was treating this as my ‘real’ last chance.
I was making things too difficult when they could have been simple.
“Hyung [older brother or male friend]! It’s Jaeho! Hello! Congratulations on passing the third preliminary round!”
It was Jaeho, the guy who got my number in the elevator because he said he was a fan.
He seems to have good ears for news, at least.
Of course, I’m a bit slow when it comes to news in the industry.
“Thank you. I’ll buy you a meal sometime.”
“When do you start living in the dorms? I bought you different flavors of ham and tuna so you won’t get bored!”
This guy is a true fan. That’s what I thought.
“I’m going in tomorrow.”
“Ah, are you in the practice room right now?”
“Yes, I’m in the practice room.”
“I’ll come over!”
Whew. I took a long, deep breath in and out.
I needed to relax and practice.
My third debut was on an audition program, after all.
That’s why I needed to relax even more.
This was my second time on an audition program, and I didn’t want to be known for getting nervous and falling into the abyss.
Creak.
“Hyung!”
Jaeho, wearing a beanie and showing off his handsome features, came in with his hands full of things and greeted me.
“Hello, Jaeho-hoobae [junior or younger colleague].”
“Wow… it’s a special feeling to have you call me ‘hoobae’!”
“Well, it’s not that big of a deal…”
“Hyung, I brought this too.”
What Jaeho pulled out was the first and last album from my third debut.
It didn’t even sell 7,000 copies, and he bought one of them? I thought it was out of print.
“…Where did you get this album?”
“I bought it when you were promoting this album! Like I said before, I became a fan of you when you were promoting ‘Empty House’!”
“Wow….”
He’s completely different from that Yoon Hyun-seung.
Thinking that, I became more fond of Jaeho.
This guy is going to win over the public for sure.
He’s going to be a big star.
“Thank you so much. Should I sign it for you?”
“Yes! I’ve always kept it on my desk because I wanted to get your autograph on it someday. Finally, this guy gets an autograph! I never thought this opportunity would come!”
“Rather, I’m so grateful that you remember my activities.”
“No! I’m really happy at this moment! Even with your autograph and message….”
I wrote a long message on his album. The general content was thanking him for remembering me and telling him to sweep the rookie awards when he debuts this year.
“How much longer until you debut, hoobae?”
“I think I’ll debut after the first singer you appear with is finished. The schedule has changed a bit because of KBC [Korean Broadcasting Corporation]. Originally, I should have debuted by now, but the company is worried that it will be buried by the broadcast.”
“…Ah.”
Listening to these stories, I understand why Hu Entertainment is actively pushing me as a hidden card.
If I build a good image for Hu Entertainment while driving popularity, then Hu Entertainment’s new boy group will debut next. The emergence of talented people from Hu Entertainment, continuing from solo to group.
That’s what they’re aiming for.
“Come to think of it, the debut team name must have been decided, what is it?”
“MonstarM.”
Uh…?
Why is Hu Entertainment’s naming sense like this?
“A little, a little….”
When I couldn’t continue, Jaeho nodded as if he understood.
“It’s MonstarM as of now. Doesn’t it sound like a game name? It sounds like a name that requires you to go monster hunting. There are similar people in your group, so I think it will be confusing.”
“So, the team name hasn’t been decided yet.”
“Yes. I’m currently only calling it by the temporary team name. It will change later… I’m having a hard time because the abbreviation ‘MonEm’ keeps sticking to my mouth. Excuse me….”
Jaeho hesitated slightly.
I told him to speak comfortably, wondering what question he would ask.
“You must have gotten used to group greetings for each group, have you ever made a mistake?”
I thought it was the impudence of coming out like Yoon Hyun-seung, but it was a normal question.
“Why wouldn’t I? I made a mistake on the broadcast and got an earful from the members. If a person doesn’t make mistakes, would that be a person? I also had a mishap during the third preliminary round….”
“Huh? You? I thought you had a steel heart… I can’t imagine you going out of tune.”
“Me too. Even after I sang it, I thought, ah, this isn’t it.”
It was only a few days ago, but it still makes me dizzy to think about it.
If Coast hadn’t wanted to see my performance again as a judge in the finals, I would have been eliminated on the spot and returned to being a ‘nameless’ singer, ending my singing career.
I would have been in big trouble if it hadn’t been for the one chance Coast gave me.
“Wow… I actually don’t make mistakes when I practice, but I keep making mistakes in the weekly and monthly evaluations. I’m worried that I’ll make a mistake on my debut stage.”
“Um… if I have anything to say, practice at 200%. Even if you practice at 200%, only 50% will come out on stage. So, do your best and approach it with the determination that the place where you can show your skills is the last.”
I wonder if it helped.
Jaeho nodded, saying he understood.
Then he handed me a bag with something in it.
“Sunbaenim [senior or older colleague]! I prepared this simply for you to eat with rice when you don’t have an appetite.”
“Thank you. I feel good because there are people who take care of me like this.”
“No! Ah, and I’ll be going now! I have to practice too!”
“Practice well. Let’s see each other after the dorm life is over. Let’s eat together.”
“It’s an honor, sunbaenim!”
“You don’t have to be so polite. Anyway, thank you.”
After Jaeho left, I started to warm up.
“Okay, let’s get started.”
Since I’ve been given a precarious stroke of luck, I have to do my best.
* * *
‘I want to be your first singer’ dorm move-in day.
The people gathered in front of the 88 Gymnasium boarded a tour bus. Everyone packed a lot of luggage.
The same goes for me.
Since the uniforms are provided, I packed underwear and casual clothes to wear when going out.
I didn’t forget to pack the ham and tuna that Jaeho gave me.
When everyone boarded the first car, the assistant director came up and gave the participants a stern warning.
“Everyone, viewers don’t know about your existence yet. In other words, we didn’t promote it on purpose. So, it’s best not to leak anything anywhere during the month-long dorm life of those of you who have advanced to the finals. We don’t want the competition stories of this survival program, such as who is eliminated and who is attached, to be leaked.”
Will they be able to control us? They have to control the staff. Usually, the characteristics of these survival programs are that the junior staff members use the community, post and delete articles there.
Every time, the production crew would gather the participants and say a word, but what could we say when the staff members certified themselves and posted articles?
“Yes!”
“I understand!”
“I’ll keep that in mind!”
“Ah, and the second thing to keep in mind is. Use honorifics to each other. Please be sure to follow this rule. We are not a program that wants a group. It is a program that selects solo singers to work alone. Of course, you can become close and speak informally after living in the dorm for a month, but the cameras are running everywhere, and penalties will be imposed if you violate this.”
Oh dear….
I couldn’t have imagined that there would be such regulations. Usually, in audition programs, they move forward with a strong sense of camaraderie, but this sounded like a warning to be very polite with each other with mutual respect. This sounded like ‘You’re the only one who survives anyway.’
“I understand!”
“Don’t forget. You must use honorifics to each other until 10 p.m. After that, the camera staff will be resting, so I won’t say anything. Of course, there are team missions during the mission. Still, I hope you will approach this program with respect and respect for each other.”
“Yes!”
“I understand!”
“Yes….”
The somehow discouraged voice was that of Hyoseop, who was standing in line with me for the third audition.
“Hyoseop-hoobae, you seem very disappointed?”
“No, it’s a little like that. I’m coming out here to build connections… what’s with the 10 p.m. limit….”
Hyoseop grumbled.
I half-listened to Hyoseop’s words and put on my earphones.
The dorm is said to be in Yangpyeong. Each week, people are filtered out through auditions, and 10 people are selected to be broadcast a month later. After 10 people are selected, it will be broadcast live.
I really have to do well this time. I shouldn’t make the same mistake of going out of tune with a familiar song like in the third preliminary round.
Suddenly, I remembered that I had drawn new tarot cards yesterday.
The card was none other than [THE STAR].
It was a positive card full of the energy of the stars.
The other card is [ACE OF WANDS].
Ace of Wands card. It can be seen that good fortune follows when starting something.
The moment I picked those cards that were sparkling, I imagined a situation.
My appearance singing on stage.
The appearance of the audience cheering for me.
A lot of votes pouring in for me.
Like a fantasy, all those situations flashed before my eyes.
Yes, I can’t just let it go if such a card comes out.
I made a mistake because I trusted myself too much during the Pentacle Ace, but this time it has to be different.
I don’t know how much I was prepared for that.
“Hyung?”
Hyoseop tapped me and called me.
Then he pointed out the window.
I was surprised to find it.
[10 years since debut, Na Dohyun, you are our number one singer♥]
A tour bus decorated with my name and picture was following next to the first car I was in.
I remembered the promise that the fans I met in front of the agency would do anything for me.
“Wow… if you debut for the fourth time, you can see things like that in real time.”
Someone sneered, but I don’t care.
I was happy that there were fans behind me, even if it was only a few.
My precious people.
“Hyung, I’m really jealous. I disbanded before I was even treated as a nobody, so there are no articles.”
“No. I’m the one who’s trying to debut for the fourth time… but what’s the point of doing this battle? Hyoseop-ssi, let’s do well. Let’s do well and get into the rankings. You can do it, Hyoseop-ssi.”
Hyoseop took pictures of the outside tour bus and answered me.
“I’ve heard a lot that I have a good sense? Hyung is really different.”
“…In what way?”
“Just, just different. The results will definitely be good.”