A Surgeon Who Uses Martial Arts [EN]: Chapter 172

Chapter 32: Palette (2)

The indoor swimming pool at the water park was quite large. The ceiling soared high above, and the winding layout made it impossible to see the far end in a single glance.

It boasted five distinct attractions where visitors could revel in aquatic fun.

Perhaps it was the enclosed environment?

The joyous shouts and laughter of young men and women echoed from every corner of the pool.

“I wanted to get an update anyway. It’s convenient that Junhoo excused himself,” Hyunjin said.

Hyunjin sat on the four-person bench nearest the entrance.

Ayoung sat beside Hyunjin.

Tae-seop sat across from Hyunjin.

The members of the ‘secret society’ (likely a playful term for their friend group) and the ‘confession expedition team’ (referring to their mission to help Ayoung confess) had convened in one place.

“So, how’s it going? Is Junhoo showing any interest?”

“Ugh. Don’t even ask. He’s like an iron wall—impenetrable,” Tae-seop sighed, shaking his head.

“Huh? Weren’t you so confident that we could rely on you? You can’t start losing heart now.”

“Is Junhoo just any ordinary guy? Can’t you tell how tough he is from the way he handled those gangsters?”

“That has nothing to do with Ayoung’s confession, does it?” Hyunjin retorted, turning to Ayoung.

Ayoung was listening to their conversation with a shy expression.

Ayoung was on the verge of ending her seven-year-long unrequited love.

She was finally going to confess her true feelings to Junhoo.

Even Hyunjin, Ayoung’s closest friend since medical school, couldn’t fully grasp the depth of Ayoung’s anxiety and nervousness.

“So, what did Junhoo say?”

“There’s good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?”

“Tell me the good news first.”

“Well, it seems like Junhoo isn’t completely indifferent to Ayoung.”

“Oh, that’s the best news I’ve heard! That’s great, Ayoung!” Hyunjin exclaimed, smiling brightly and clapping hands with Ayoung. It felt like they were on the cusp of success.

“But if Junhoo has feelings for Ayoung, isn’t that it? What’s the bad news then?”

“It’s complicated, to put it simply…” Tae-seop hesitated before continuing, “It seems like Junhoo has no intention of dating Ayoung.”

“Huh? What nonsense is that? If you have feelings, you date, right?”

“That’s what I’m saying! Junhoo is such a weirdo.”

Tae-seop began to explain, a frustrated expression on his face.

According to Tae-seop, Junhoo said he wasn’t confident in his ability to treat Ayoung well.

He reasoned that if he devoted himself to medicine, he would inevitably neglect Ayoung and wouldn’t be able to properly care for her.

Therefore, he thought it would be better not to date at all.

“According to Junhoo’s logic, can’t surgeons date or get married? That doesn’t make any sense!” Hyunjin’s voice rose slightly.

Junhoo’s answer sounded like an excuse.

In Hyunjin’s opinion, it seemed like Junhoo was confusing ‘can’t’ with ‘won’t’.

“Well… I can understand it, if I try hard enough.”

“That strange way of thinking?”

“Junhoo is an idealist. Whether it’s a patient or medicine, he has to give it his all once he sets a goal.”

“…….”

“Dating is the same for him. Even if he likes Ayoung, he won’t date her if he can’t give it his best. Why do you think that is?”

“Because he can’t give it his best?”

“Yeah, that’s the kind of guy he is. Junhoo,” a bitter smile touched Tae-seop’s lips.

The confidence that Tae-seop had displayed when Hyunjin asked him to help with Ayoung’s confession…

And the confidence he had when they arrived at the water park today, had completely vanished.

Tae-seop seemed to have realized something.

That there was no way to persuade Junhoo.

“That’s nonsense and sophistry. I can never understand it.”

“Whether you understand it or not doesn’t matter. What matters is Ayoung’s decision.” Tae-seop’s gaze settled on Ayoung.

“Ayoung, are you still going to confess even after hearing this? I’m sorry, but it doesn’t look like the chances of success are high.”

“I still have to do it. Why else did we gather here?”

“Hyunjin, stay out of this. I’m asking Ayoung.”

“I have every right to give advice since we came all the way here, okay?” Hyunjin retorted sharply, losing her temper.

The moment she heard Tae-seop say that Ayoung’s confession was likely to fail, the emotions that had been held back by the dam in her heart burst forth.

“Ayoung, you absolutely have to confess. If you succeed, great, because you succeeded. If you fail, great, because you failed.”

“…….”

“If you fail, you can just meet someone other than Junhoo. How many guys are out there?”

“Kim Hyunjin, don’t cross the line, okay? A failed confession can be hurtful. If you know the other person’s intentions, you can sort out your feelings on your own.”

“……Okay. What’s the point of fighting with you? If I’m going to fight, I should grab Junhoo by the hair!” Hyunjin bit back her words, burying them in her heart.

Ayoung remained silent.

There was no change in her expression.

Hyunjin knew that Ayoung was deeply shaken, even though she appeared calm.

Ayoung always showed this facade when she was pretending to be okay.

“What are you guys talking about so interestingly without me?” Just then, Junhoo approached the bench and sat next to Ayoung.

“It’s nothing. We were just talking about what to ride,” Ayoung said, smiling at Junhoo.

There was a desperate look in her eyes, which broke Hyunjin’s heart.

* * *

Junhoo was riding the cave exploration attraction with a tube.

The cave exploration attraction was a swimming pool decorated to resemble a cave.

It was an attraction where you simply floated along a narrow waterway in a tube.

The attraction itself was rather bland, but quite a few people were using it.

It was half people, half water.

“Ayoung, you don’t look well. Are you tired?” Junhoo asked Ayoung, who was next to him.

Ever since they entered the indoor swimming pool, Ayoung’s face had lost its vitality.

Her smile had vanished, and the corners of her mouth drooped.

“I guess my body can’t handle playing after so long. I should do some light exercise during my shifts.”

“I’m glad to hear that. And by the way, you don’t have to worry about those gangsters who picked a fight earlier. They can never touch us.”

“Yeah. I couldn’t say it earlier, but thank you.”

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I caused you worry.”

The conversation ended quickly.

Ayoung was slightly ahead of Junhoo, so he could only see the back of her head.

-You said earlier that everyone has their own hell?

-…….

-But do you know what? You were Ayoung’s hell.

Junhoo’s heart grew heavy as he recalled what Tae-seop had told him earlier.

It was even more poignant because it wasn’t wrong.

Even though he knew that Ayoung liked him, Junhoo had been ignoring that fact all along.

He had done something terrible to Ayoung.

He had to choose one of the two: to date or not to date.

Perhaps it was out of greed.

He felt he couldn’t treat Ayoung well.

Therefore, Tae-seop’s scolding was also justified.

‘Seo Junhoo, do you know what? You’re the most despicable guy in the world,’ Tae-seop had said.

Junhoo’s gaze remained fixed on Ayoung for a long time.

Junhoo was also curious about Ayoung’s feelings.

When Junhoo had left his seat to deal with the gangsters using his medical skills, Tae-seop must have conveyed Junhoo’s inner thoughts to Ayoung.

What were Ayoung’s feelings at that time?

Was she hurt once again by Junhoo’s neglect?

Or had she accepted it indifferently, thinking that it was simply the way things were?

No, the important thing isn’t Ayoung.

The important thing is my decision.

I have to fix my wavering and indecisive heart first.

That’s the priority.

Junhoo bit his lip and looked up at the ceiling.

Lost in thought, he hadn’t realized it was already night.

* * *

The group returned to Seoul around 7 p.m.

The sun had set early, and the wind carried a cool nip. The roads were jammed with cars heading home from work, as if suffering from arteriosclerosis (a metaphor for clogged arteries, representing traffic congestion).

The four of them had dinner and drinks at a pub near Yeongdeungpo.

The atmosphere was friendly and lively.

At least on the surface.

“Let’s get together again sometime. It feels so refreshing to hang out with my classmates after so long.”

“You two are going in the same direction, right? Be careful going home.”

The drinking session ended around 9 p.m.

Ayoung, having parted ways with her reliable allies Tae-seop and Hyunjin, boarded the subway with Junhoo.

Ayoung couldn’t recall what she had talked about with Junhoo on the subway.

It wasn’t that she was severely drunk.

It was simply that she was preoccupied with her thoughts.

Should I confess?

Or should I not?

Torn between these crucial choices, Ayoung made a decision near Junhoo’s apartment complex.

Beneath the cheerfully rising moonlight,

The sound of night bugs chirping poetically,

The surrounding people strolling in light clothing,

It was a moment when the peacefulness of everyday life vividly touched her skin.

“Junhoo, thank you for making time for me today. Then go in carefully, and I’ll see you at the hospital,” Ayoung said.

Ayoung decided not to confess to Junhoo.

She wanted to protect her peaceful everyday life.

Because if only her heart ached a little, her everyday life wouldn’t collapse.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Junhoo asked with a smirk.

“Of course, I have to go home.”

“I don’t want to just let you go. I’m going to walk you home.”

“You don’t have to. I’m not a three-year-old.”

“All the men around here are wolves. Except for me,” Junhoo joked, gesturing to the passersby.

Ayoung chuckled.

Yeah, it’s right not to confess.

Because this way, she could continue to see Junhoo up close and smile.

Ayoung didn’t regret her choice.

“If you’re going to go that far, Junhoo, I have no choice. Let’s go together.”

“Yeah, good thinking.”

Together with Junhoo, Ayoung headed towards the villa area where her house was located.

After walking for about 15 minutes from the station, the road became deserted. The number of passing cars and pedestrians noticeably decreased.

“Ayoung, I have something to tell you.”

“What is it? Since when do you ask for my permission?”

“I think I need to get your permission this time. I think today’s story will be a bit long.”

“It’s okay. I like listening,” Ayoung replied easily.

“Ayoung. Actually, I… I’ve known for a long time that you like me.”

At Junhoo’s direct statement, Ayoung stopped walking without realizing it.

She bit her lip.

The hand gripping her bag handle tightened.

She had a bad feeling.

Since she couldn’t make a decision, Junhoo was finally going to make one for her.

Ayoung already knew what Junhoo was going to say.

Junhoo had only known medicine and patients since he was a student.

It was clear that Junhoo would choose medicine over her.

“……You knew.”

“I’m sorry. For pretending not to know all this time. I realized it after hearing Tae-seop’s words earlier, that I’ve been acting incredibly selfishly.”

“…….”

“I was honestly scared, too. Scared that I would hurt you. Love isn’t just about liking each other, is it?”

“…….”

“Effort is needed to maintain a relationship… and I didn’t think I could make that effort,” Junhoo sighed and continued.

Ayoung couldn’t see Junhoo’s expression because she was looking down.

She felt more comfortable that way.

If she saw Junhoo’s face now, she wouldn’t know what expression to make.

“It’s okay. I was prepared for it.”

“Prepared for what?”

“That you want to focus on medicine instead of worrying about me.”

Ayoung made the first move.

Since the die was already cast (an idiom meaning the decision has been made).

Rather than being hurt by Junhoo, she wanted to confront her own pain directly.

“I understand everything. I won’t resent you, Junhoo. Because people always have to give up one thing to get the other.”

“No, what are you talking about?”

“I know everything! I know everything!” Ayoung couldn’t hold back her overwhelming emotions and shouted.

The suppressed sorrow burst forth.

Thick tears streamed down her eyes.

Her vision blurred.

She could only see Junhoo’s legs in her blurry vision.

“Ayoung, look up.”

“No. I’m more comfortable like this.”

“I think you’re misunderstanding something. I’m confessing to you.”

“Huh?” Ayoung tilted her head, confused by his unexpected words.

Confessing?

What nonsense was that?

“I’ll do better from now on. I may not be able to do as much as others, but I’ll do my best.”

“…….”

“So, I hope you’ll stay by my side in the future, too.”

At Junhoo’s words, Ayoung slowly raised her head.

It was as if light was pouring out of Junhoo’s body because he was facing away from the moonlight.

This moment felt like a dream.

“Are you… the Seo Junhoo I know?”

“Then who did you think I was, a ghost?” Junhoo smiled and gently hugged Ayoung.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I’ve been too cowardly all this time.”

“You were bad… really bad.”

Ayoung cried sadly in Junhoo’s arms. Junhoo’s shirt never dried from the tears she had been holding back for seven years.