After I Died, My Husband Went Mad [EN]: Chapter 90

When Ilay, searching every corner from the stables to the servants’ quarters, knocked on Sebelia’s door with a last glimmer of hope, Dihart was gazing down at the sleeping Sebelia.

‘Is it okay for me to be here like this?’

She had told him to, but he felt uneasy. Dihart frowned, feeling a pang of conscience he had never experienced before.

A shadow fell over his handsome face, and sorrow clouded his golden eyes. Ilay knocked again from outside, but Dihart ignored him. His mind replayed the events of an hour ago.

[…Bel, la?] (A casual, intimate way of saying “Bella?”)

[Let’s talk again after you’ve slept.]

When he had woken up on the carpet, nearly passed out from exhaustion, Sebelia had said that and then climbed into bed. Then, she closed her eyes and fell asleep comfortably.

‘I felt like my heart was falling even as I opened my eyes.’

He didn’t even know when he had fainted. As soon as he opened his eyes, he met Sebelia’s gaze and immediately realized what a pathetic state he was in.

The humiliating apologies he had made, the way he had sobbed like a child, even groveling on the floor—all of it overlapped with Sebelia’s face as she quietly watched him with bended knees, stirring up a terrible feeling.

But she didn’t seem to care, climbing into bed and falling asleep. It was as if she had been exhausted from watching over him while he was unconscious, and she fell asleep instantly.

‘What are you thinking?’

Dihart was tormented, yet at the same time, he felt terribly happy. Like a death row inmate whose execution has been postponed, he knew that tragedy would come someday, but for now, at this moment, he couldn’t help but be happy to be able to stay by her sleeping side.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Haa…….”

After that, there was no need for further explanation; it was exactly as it seemed. Dihart looked at the sleeping Sebelia with eyes full of pain and emotion. He held his pounding heart as if watching a fairy-tale creature that would disappear like a bubble if he touched even a fingertip to it, and he stared at her.

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

The knocking gradually grew louder. Dihart half-heartedly pulled the curtains closer to the bed, as sunlight had begun to fall on Sebelia’s cheek.

“Umm…….”

Then, Sebelia stirred and groaned, as if sensing his presence. Dihart’s face turned pale in an instant, and his body froze in mid-air.

“I’m sorry.”

A tearful apology tumbled from his lips.

“Sorry, I’m sorry.”

Like a slave who was not allowed to say anything else, he continued to whisper apologies into Sebelia’s ear as she slept, like a broken record.

How long had he whispered like that? Dihart finally got up because that damn adjutant wouldn’t stop knocking.

‘She’s going to wake up at this rate.’

Gritting his teeth, Dihart opened the door silently. Ilay whispered through the small crack in the door.

“Your Grace!”

“Shut up, don’t breathe, don’t raise your hand. Just turn around and get lost.”

“……”

Seeing his lord’s sensitive state, Ilay quickly obeyed the order, though he ignored the last command.

When Dihart seemed to have calmed down, Ilay quickly scanned the room through the crack in the door. The tense line of his mouth relaxed. Fortunately, his superior didn’t seem to have spent the night with Bella.

“You look better, sir. Did you get some sleep?”

Unlike yesterday, the gloomy fog that had covered Dihart’s body had completely disappeared. There were no more traces of the outburst, and he seemed to have returned to his senses.

‘It seems Bella helped him. I didn’t want them to get any closer… What should I do? Should I contact Ryan?’

Ilay might seem like a jovial young man, but he was still a nobleman born and raised in a prestigious family. He thought it was good that Bella, who resembled the former Duchess, was becoming Dihart’s cure, but he didn’t want them to have a deeper relationship than that.

No matter how blurred the lines between commoners and nobles had become, the position of Duchess was not something that could easily fall into the hands of a commoner.

“Let’s go back, Your Grace. Letters from Hillend Hall are eagerly awaiting you.”

“……”

Dihart approached Ilay without a word. Seeing him approaching, Ilay involuntarily took a step back. The pressure was immense.

“Uh, um. Are you perhaps hungry? Ah, or are you still not fully awake…….”

Dihart grabbed Ilay by the scruff of his neck and effortlessly lifted him up, placing him in the hallway. Ilay, who thought he would be thrown away, looked up at Dihart with confused eyes.

However, Dihart had no interest in Ilay’s feelings. He was just about to close the door when he added, as if he had suddenly remembered something.

“Don’t let a single ant near the third floor. If I ring the bell, bring breakfast. I’ll take care of the letters and documents today, so if you show your face again…….”

The words stopped abruptly at the sound of a small mumble from behind. Dihart turned around and continued in a small voice that was barely audible.

“I’ll break your only advantage, your height, in half, so be prepared.”

Ilay’s face turned pale at the threat of having his spine broken in half. Soon, the door closed silently.

“…Understood.”

Ilay bowed his head toward the tightly closed door and turned around. His footsteps seemed very lonely as he walked down the hallway.

“Haa.”

‘What kind of letter should I send to Ryan?’

Ilay went downstairs, racking his brains. But even as he came down to the second floor, he didn’t see a single person. Ilay glanced out the window.

As ordered, all the servants were gathered on the first floor, receiving reprimands.

“What’s wrong with being loyal to the master? We are, after all, servants of Baron Supredi. So, being loyal to Lady Licia is also our duty…….”

“That duty is a problem if it endangers the Duke’s safety.”

“Endanger his safety? On the contrary, our lady was the one who got hurt!”

In fact, Dihart didn’t need to order people not to go to the third floor.

After thinking that Dihart might be in Bella’s room, Ilay had gathered the servants on the first floor early on. The excuse was to find those who had sold the Duke’s schedule to Lady Licia, but the real reason was to prevent anyone from knowing that Dihart had visited Bella’s room in the early morning.

‘He already treated Lady Licia so badly. I have to prevent a scandal.’

That was for Dihart’s sake, but also for Bella, who was a commoner. In any case, there was no way that she, a mere commoner, could end up with the Duke of Inverness, a prestigious family in the North.

* * *

Dihart, who came back after closing the door, took slow steps. Fortunately, the old carpet covering the entire room softly cushioned his heavy body.

It was when he approached the bed without making a sound. Sebelia, who had been breathing evenly, suddenly opened her eyelids. Dihart, who accidentally met her gaze, felt as if his heart was falling.

“……”

Her blue eyes, half-closed as if she was still not fully awake, stared at him. Seeing his distorted face reflected in her beautiful eyes, which shimmered like a lake, Dihart clenched his fists.

He felt as if all the blood in his body was draining to his fingertips. At the same time, his heart was pounding against his eardrums. He had never felt like this before. With an unfamiliar and fearful feeling, Dihart knelt beside the bed.

He clasped his hands together and placed them on the bed, gazing at Sebelia.

He couldn’t describe how it felt to face the person who held the power over his life and death in such a defenseless morning, in a lovely atmosphere filled with warm sunlight.

But before Dihart could move his stiff lips to apologize to her again, Sebelia smiled slightly and spoke first.

“Hello.”

“……”

“Your eyes are swollen.”

Her fingers, which came without hesitation, brushed under his eyes. Ah, Dihart then realized that his eyes were sore. It was thanks to the tears he had shed all night.

“Is, is that so? Sorry. I must look terrible, right? I was out of my mind and showed you an unsightly sight.”

As if it was a habit, Dihart apologized and covered his eyes with his hand. Sebelia blankly looked at him and then got up. Then, Dihart also got up.

“I’ll borrow the bathroom.”

Dihart felt like he was going crazy with the shame that was rising to his throat. It was only then that he realized how ugly he looked. As he covered his face and backed away, Sebelia blinked.

Seeing him walking away while holding onto the wall, Sebelia opened her mouth.

“Dihart.”

“Y, yes.”

Like a well-behaved child, his body stopped abruptly. He looked awkward, standing there with one hand on the wall and the other covering his face. Sebelia sighed and pulled back the blanket.

“Sit on the sofa.”

He was someone who had cried and even fainted a few hours ago. Besides, he had only slept for a few hours on a thin carpet that couldn’t even be called bedding, so his physical condition couldn’t be good.

Sebelia led him to the sofa as if she was dealing with a patient who looked like he was about to collapse. Even then, Dihart didn’t lower the hand covering his face.

“Take your hand away.”

“……”

“You have to wipe your face.”

Sebelia, who had brought a towel soaked in water from the bathroom, sat next to him and said. But Dihart stubbornly refused. Rather, he awkwardly reached out his free hand to snatch the towel.

Seeing him stubbornly insisting even in that state, Sebelia sighed deeply. Dihart’s shoulders, which were next to her, jumped high.

“S, sorry.”

He bit his lip and lowered the hand covering his face.

“Haa.”

Sebelia sighed and looked at him with eyes that were hard to read. His face, seen up close, was more of a mess than she had thought. Sebelia placed the cold, wet towel on his completely swollen eyes and said.

“Calm down, go downstairs and fill your stomach first. Finish your pending work… and then let’s talk.”

“What, talk about.”

Dihart barely moved his dry lips to ask. His eyes, shaking madly between his swollen eyes, were visible. Sebelia replied in a low voice.

“Let’s talk about how to end our bad relationship.”