An Actor Who Has Lived For 10,000 Years [EN]: Chapter 163

163. #30 – The Weight of a Lead Role (1)

When I went on my healing trip.

I tried my best not to search my name on the internet or social media.

I didn’t want to see any malicious comments or evaluations about me, at least while I was on that trip.

But when I arrived back in Korea, searching for my name, ‘Jin Hee-sung,’ became a daily routine without me even realizing it.

It’s not that I was deliberately looking for malicious comments to stress myself out.

Still, knowing what kind of articles were out there and what the public thought of me would help my acting in the future.

The difference from before is that I’m less affected by malicious comments now.

Before, I used to read every single malicious comment and get hurt by them.

Did I do something to deserve such hate?

Why do they hate me so much?

The thoughts spiraled and pulled me deeper into the darkness, and I think I lived in self-inflicted pain.

Even though I knew that kind of routine wasn’t good for my mental health, I always ended up hurt after reading malicious comments.

However, the trip I took to shake everything off.

I think I learned a lot through that trip.

My passion for acting was rekindled, and I learned things I didn’t know from the acting friends I met there.

And most of all, what I liked the most was the feeling of freedom.

Even when people passing by took pictures or glanced at me, I didn’t hide or get upset.

Rather, there were many people who would step into the photo angles of those tourists and pose.

That was quite a shock to me.

Of course, it was a refreshing and welcome shock.

Not paying attention to every single glance from others and living only for oneself.

They looked cool and amazing.

And I also learned to see them in a new light during my trip to New York.

Not caring about others, knowing that there will be people who like me and people who hate me.

Not everyone can like me, and there will be people who dislike me.

So, there’s no need for me to get hurt by each and every one of them.

That’s not to say I’ve become a mental fortress that doesn’t get hurt by malicious comments.

But I should try not to wear myself down by getting stressed over every little thing.

So now, I don’t get as stressed about searching for my name.

Rather, it’s not enough to grow by only looking at the people who like me.

Today, as I was searching my name to see fans’ reactions and new articles.

[Kim Ji-bin, “Jin Hee-sung’s Rookie Award is Absurd…” Unexpected Attack Alarms the Acting Industry.]

An article title that caught my eye.

I frowned and clicked on the article.

The article contained an interview in which actor Kim Ji-bin suddenly attacked me out of nowhere.

-In an interview with a magazine, actor Kim Ji-bin mentioned ‘Jin Hee-sung’s’ Rookie Award.

He repeatedly exclaimed that the Rookie Award Jin Hee-sung received was absurd….

The reaction to the unexpected attack was divided into ‘a statement of conviction’ and ‘a fair Rookie Award earned through skill.’

My face grew more and more distorted as I read the article.

“Crazy… what is this?”

Kim, my manager, who was sitting in front of me, looked at me with a surprised face at my words.

“Why, what’s wrong?”

“Hyung [older brother/term of endearment for a close male friend], this article was posted two minutes ago, take a look at this.”

I handed my phone to Kim, and his face also started to heat up as he read the article.

“What’s this bastard doing?”

Kim clenched his fist and shouted.

I bit my lip and said to him.

“Kim Ji-bin, why is he suddenly doing this?”

Actor Kim Ji-bin.

It’s not like I didn’t know him.

To be exact, I had no personal connection with him, but I knew his face through various media.

Because he was a pretty successful leading actor in this industry.

There was no way I wouldn’t know him.

But he was an actor I had never encountered privately or publicly.

Last year, I was invited to both PBC and MBS award ceremonies.

I know that he only went to KTS.

There was no chance to meet him at the awards ceremony or in any of the works we filmed together.

If he hadn’t received the award instead of me, I might have thought he could say such things.

No, in fact, I don’t think those are words that we, as public figures, can say.

Even if I concede a hundred times to someone who had their award taken away by me.

Kim Ji-bin is someone who has no personal connection or bad blood with me… I couldn’t understand why he said such things in an interview.

Kim opened his mouth to me, who was frowning.

“I heard that Kim Ji-bin and Park Min-joon are very close.”

At his words, I frowned even more.

“What?”

“Actually… it seems like that Park Min-joon guy has been saying a lot of bad things from a long time ago.”

Park Min-joon was an actor who always had bad feelings towards me, so there was nothing to be surprised about.

Kim clicked his tongue and continued.

“But there’s no point in telling you that story, so I didn’t tell you separately.”

I nodded at his words.

It’s not like Kim didn’t tell me the story to harm me.

Besides, I wouldn’t have felt good if I had heard that story either.

“Yeah, there was no need to tell me Park Min-joon’s story.”

“Anyway, since Park Min-joon and Kim Ji-bin are close, Park Min-joon must have been talking about you, Hee-sung.”

“Even if he’s talking behind my back, isn’t this a bit much?”

I shook my head and said.

Kim also agreed with my words and replied.

“Yeah, this is crazy. Hee-sung, how should we respond to this?”

He picked up his phone as if he was about to take action right away.

I waved my hand in the air and replied.

“Let’s not respond. I think ignoring it is the best course of action.”

And I immediately turned off the article screen that was on my phone.

***

Clink-.

Two people pouring alcohol into their mouths after clinking glasses.

It was Kim Ji-bin and Park Min-joon.

The two put their glasses down on the table and continued the conversation they were having.

“Hyung, did you see that bastard Jin Hee-sung? He’s not responding even though Hyung’s interview article came out.”

“Yeah, I saw it. I guess he thought he didn’t deserve the Rookie Award himself? That’s why there’s no response.”

He smirked and continued.

“When you were working with Min-joon, he ignored you a lot, right?”

Park Min-joon lowered his eyes as much as possible and replied with a face as if he was pitiful.

“Yes, you really have to know that guy’s personality.”

“Tsk, a person with such a bad personality shouldn’t be in the entertainment industry. It’s all a lie.”

At his words, Park Min-joon nodded vigorously.

“Of course. It’s all a lie. I don’t think people who lie like that should be on TV or in movies.”

Kim Ji-bin shook his head and clicked his tongue.

“Tsk tsk… Jin Hee-sung’s life must be a lie. I wonder when that bastard will fail.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Park Min-joon stretched his lips wide and replied.

“I think he’ll fail soon. Haha.”

“How come I never run into that bastard?”

“Hyung, have you never seen Jin Hee-sung before?”

“Yeah, I thought I might see him at the acting awards last year. But I only did KTS works last year.”

“That’s right. Hyung’s acting was amazing last year. 크으으 [sound of admiration].”

Park Min-joon raised his thumb and said.

“Hey, what. Haha.”

Kim Ji-bin laughed heartily and continued.

“Jin Hee-sung didn’t have any KTS dramas. Well, it would be weirder if that bastard did all three broadcasting stations’ works.”

“That’s right.”

“I wish I could meet him just once….”

Kim Ji-bin stared at the air with a meaningful look.

Park Min-joon smiled with satisfaction at his attitude and nodded.

***

“Ah… I’m nervous.”

Before getting out of the car, I stroked my chest and said.

Kim looked at me through the rearview mirror and raised the corners of his lips.

“It’s not an audition, it’s just a meeting.”

“Still, the director, writer, and I might not get along….”

Kim, realizing that I had a worried face, replied in a soft tone as if to reassure me.

“You always do well after saying that.”

At that time, Kim, who had finished parking, prepared to get off and continued.

“Shall we go?”

“Yeah.”

We soon arrived at the meeting room, and I bent over and greeted them.

“Hello, I’m Jin Hee-sung.”

At my greeting, Hong In-hyuk, the director of the drama ‘Doctor,’ and writer Park Jung-joo stood up from their seats.

“Nice to meet you, Hee-sung.”

“Hello. Hee-sung, nice to meet you for the first time.”

At their greetings, I took a seat.

“It’s an honor that you agreed to the meeting.”

“No, I’m more honored to be able to meet you, director and writer, for this work.”

As always, we, who were meeting for the first time, shared everyday small talk to ease the frozen atmosphere.

“Was it not too far to come?”

“Yes, it’s still close by….”

After exchanging such short conversations.

We immediately got down to business.

“I saw the ‘Doctor’ script, and I really wanted to do this work.”

At my words, writer Park looked at me with a surprised face.

“Really?”

Praising the script’s content was enough to please her, who was a new writer.

That’s not to say I made up something that wasn’t there.

I actually wanted to do this work after reading the script.

“Yes, especially the scene where the character is diagnosed with a terminal illness. It was hard to suppress the sad feelings there.”

At my words, director Hong and writer Park looked at me with even more surprised faces, their eyes widening.

Director Hong asked me with that expression.

“May I ask why you suppressed it so much?”

At his question, I nodded and replied.

“When I first read the script, I read it with tears in my eyes, sharing the sadness from the patient’s point of view. But if I were the doctor in this drama, I thought it would be more appropriate to speak calmly and as if it were no big deal.”

As soon as I finished speaking, writer Park clapped her hands repeatedly.

“Oh my, that’s right. That’s exactly what I intended. It would have been difficult to catch right away because I didn’t put it in the script separately….”

As soon as she finished speaking, director Hong continued.

“That’s right. I didn’t know when I read it, but I found out when writer Jung-joo told me the intention.”

“Is that so? After thinking about it several times, I thought that if a doctor had experienced such things a lot, it would be better to speak calmly for the patient.”

Director Hong nodded.

“To understand this completely, that’s why everyone says Jin Hee-sung… Jin Hee-sung.”

At his words, I smiled and waved my hand.

“Oh my, you’re praising me too much, director.”

“I’m serious. There’s a reason why successful actors are successful.”

I bowed my head at director Hong’s words and replied.

“Thank you.”

He and writer Park turned their heads to look at each other.

After exchanging glances, the two looked back at me and opened their mouths.

“But there’s a bit of a problem….”

Director Hong hesitated, and I raised my eyebrows and replied.

“Yes, what are you talking about?”