An Actor Who Has Lived For 10,000 Years [EN]: Chapter 235

235. #42 – The One Who Remains (1)

A hazy mind.

I couldn’t see anything because of the blurry vision.

No, to be exact, my eyes were closed.

And the sound of crying in my ears.

A scream filled with anguish and sobs continued.

In the midst of it, a man with a clear voice was shouting.

“Nurse… Nurse!”

What is it…?

Is this a hospital?

BEEP…!

At that moment, a constant mechanical sound beeped.

And at the same time, a wailing sound was heard.

“No, Heeseong-ah!”

“Heeseong-ah, if you die….”

With that sound, I realized.

That this is a dream…!

The sight of me lying on the bed with my eyes gently closed.

Around me, my mother and father, and even Manager Kim, were surrounding me, shedding tears.

Strangely, I, who had died lying in between them, looked comfortable.

I couldn’t know exactly when I had died in that spot.

But at least I knew that my closest people were so sad they were losing their minds.

“Heeseong-ah….”

“Heeseong-ah, how are Mom and Dad supposed to live if you leave like this….”

“Sob… Heeseong-ah….”

My parents’ and Manager Kim’s faces were covered in tears.

The doctor stood next to them and began to recite my death declaration.

And then, in that moment.

“Mother…!”

“Heeseong’s mom!”

My mother, who had fully embraced the sadness of seeing me lose my life, eventually collapsed where she stood.

Lying on the bed with my eyes tightly closed, I couldn’t do anything even as my mother collapsed.

Not even offer a small comfort to my mother.

Flash-!

I opened my eyes wide and took a ragged breath.

I swept my hands over my body to make sure I was alive.

“Haa… What kind of dream is this….”

Such vivid scenes.

I realized it was a dream and let out a sigh of relief.

It was still dark dawn, before the sun had even risen outside the window.

I looked at the black sky and closed my eyes again.

Whoosh-.

A gray sky.

Rain falling, whipped by a strong wind.

Nevertheless, a group of people in raincoats gathered together and burst into tears.

“Oppa… I miss you.”

“Reveal the truth about Jin Heeseong’s death!”

“Reveal it, reveal it!”

“Heeseong oppa!”

The placard visible at the very front of them.

-Jin Heeseong, who became a star. Stay as a star in our hearts forever.

-Jin Heeseong, we will never forget you.

-Jin Heeseong’s death? Reveal it transparently!

-‘Jin Heeseong Season’ will always be remembered. Rest in peace.

After I faced death.

My fans were crying in front of the agency, and a wave of mourning continued.

The sound of wailing, demanding that the cause of death be revealed, echoed through the rain.

The fans’ tears were flowing faster than the rain.

At that sight, I couldn’t breathe as if my chest was blocked.

Flash-!

“Haa… Haa….”

When I opened my eyes again, I saw the white wallpaper on the ceiling.

It was reality.

“What kind of dream is this, really.”

When I turned my head, the sky was still dark, before sunrise.

I quickly jumped out of bed and leaned back, not wanting to fall asleep again.

I didn’t want to continue dreaming this dream again.

The sight of me facing death, and the people left behind struggling as they thought of the disappeared me.

It was a dream that vividly showed the feelings of those left behind after death.

Clearly, until recently, the dreams showed me about my past lives.

But the dreams I just had were like things that would happen in the future.

Because I am alive like this now, not dead.

I wiped the flowing sweat off my hands and took a ragged breath.

“How many times is this….”

In fact, today wasn’t the first time I had this kind of dream.

A nightmare that started a few days ago, a dream of facing death.

Since then, I have been having this dream every day without fail, every time I fall asleep.

“I think I even had it two or three times a day?”

The night was long.

I dreamed at least twice, and up to five times, on that night.

Every night, dreaming an average of three times.

A dream of seeing all the people around me grieving after I disappeared.

If I dreamed that every day, it was inevitable that it would be hard to live in reality.

It wasn’t a dream that I simply dreamed and naturally forgot when morning came.

It was so clear and vividly etched in my memory.

Even if I just think of that moment for a moment, the voices and expressions of them shouting as if wailing were drawn like a panorama.

At the same time, even the scenes of everything I have achieved so far disappearing.

The life of 10,000 years.

These days, I was realizing once again that the punishment was a true punishment of suffering.

It was so painful.

I wondered if I had ever been this painful in my 10,000 years of life.

The pain didn’t end in a day, but it was repeated every moment, so it was hard to even live my daily life.

Because the pain kept blooming.

I squeezed my eyes shut, pressed my head with my hands, and poured out words as if sighing.

“Now really… there’s only about a year left. The moment of choice….”

One year later.

I have to choose whether to end this life or reincarnate again.

In the life of 10,000 years, I repeatedly ended my life countless times and lived as someone else.

But this time it’s different.

It was the last life of 10,000 years of life.

If I end this life this time, I will really return to nothingness.

If I choose reincarnation, I may live another 10,000 years.

It wasn’t just about living another 10,000 years and being happy.

I would live in the same pain again.

And because it was a punishment given by God, I couldn’t know exactly whether I would live as I wanted.

“…I don’t know, really.”

I couldn’t make a single choice at all.

No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t judge which choice was better.

And once again, I braced myself.

“Let’s focus on the life in front of me for now….”

***

“Heeseong-ah, stop looking at the script and get some sleep.”

Manager Kim said, looking at me sitting down.

At his words, I turned my head and nodded.

“Yeah, but this time I’m going as the lead role, so I’m practicing more.”

“I understand, but you’ve been looking at the script except for the time you eat in-flight meals. I’m worried you’re overdoing it….”

Inside the plane heading to LA [Los Angeles].

It was inside the plane leaving to have a meeting with the director of the work I wanted to do.

This time, it was a Hollywood movie again.

But the role I wanted to play in this movie was not a supporting role, but a leading role.

With a trembling heart and excitement, I was busy practicing, let alone sleeping.

Because I wanted to get this work, this role so badly.

I stared intently at the script and said to him.

“Hyung [older brother or close male friend], can you believe that I’ve not only made my debut in Hollywood, but I might even be able to play the lead role in my second work?”

Manager Kim, seeing my bright smile, also smiled and replied to me.

“Of course, I knew you would do well. That’s why I trust you and work as your manager, right? Haha.”

“As expected, Hyung had foresight. Hahaha.”

We laughed like that and flew to LA.

I shifted my gaze back to the script and concentrated.

This script that I had read and practiced countless times since Korea.

Nevertheless, the excitement and elation given by the huge role of ‘Hollywood Lead’ made me continue to devote myself to practice.

A flight of over 10 hours.

Throughout that flight time, I only fixed my gaze on the script except when eating in-flight meals and going to the bathroom.

In the meantime, I lost strength in the script I was holding in my hand due to the long flight.

And my eyes gently closed.

Again, the sound of crying filled my ears.

I felt a heart-wrenching pain again at the sound of crying while out of my mind.

Damn it….

Is it a dream again?

As expected, this place was in my dream.

The person who came into my sight, shedding tears and losing their mind….

It was Song Yoona.

Song Yoona’s eyes were swollen because of how much she had cried.

She seemed to be struggling as if she couldn’t do schedule filming as an actress, or even live her daily life.

“How can you leave the world so suddenly… Jin Heeseong….”

Song Yoona sat down in the middle of her house, pounding her chest and complaining of frustration.

Her appearance looked quite precarious.

But there was nothing I could do.

Because this is just in my dream.

“Agh…!”

Song Yoona screamed so loud that the house echoed.

At that time.

Flash-!

“Haa… Haa….”

I opened my eyes wide and raised my body.

The tightly fastened airplane seat belt grabbed my body.

Manager Kim was startled and looked at me as I was sweating profusely and breathing heavily.

“Heeseong-ah, are you okay?”

“…Uh.”

“Did you have a nightmare or something?”

He hurriedly grabbed a passing flight attendant.

“Please get me a glass of water.”

“Yes, I’ll prepare it right away.”

The flight attendant quickly brought water.

Manager Kim grabbed my shoulder and handed me the water, saying.

“Drink slowly and calm down. Can you do it?”

At his words, I nodded and gulped down the bottled water.

“Thank you, Hyung.”

“What kind of dream makes you like this?”

At Manager Kim’s question, I shook my head.

“No, nothing….”

***

A day had passed since arriving in LA.

Because I couldn’t have a meeting as soon as I arrived due to the huge time difference of 16 hours.

I went straight to the hotel and went to sleep as soon as I arrived in LA.

But even though I dragged my tired body and fell asleep as if fainting.

Again, I dreamed of seeing those who were struggling after I died.

Now I was really feeling my body becoming exhausted.

Because the painful dream that I have every time I sleep, sleeping itself was painful.

But I couldn’t not fall asleep.

Because I need to sleep to get the energy to live my daily life.

Even while Manager Kim and I were moving for the meeting, he didn’t rashly talk to me.

A haggard face.

Darkness seemed to be emanating from near my body.

Because I couldn’t sleep properly, it was as if black smoke was flowing out of a blackened person.

“Heeseong-ah, is your condition not very good today?”

“I’m okay.”

A short and concise answer.

Manager Kim seemed to have confirmed again that I was different from usual in the conversation that was cut off like that.

He nodded and said to me.

“I’ll make up an excuse that you’re not feeling well today because you’re not used to the time difference, so say whatever you want to say to the director comfortably. I’ll take care of the rest of the conversation.”

“Okay.”

A little later.

The meeting with Director David lasted about an hour.

Director David and Manager Kim led most of the meeting.

Manager Kim started studying English from the time I first debuted in Hollywood.

Now he has built up enough conversational skills to communicate while saying what he wants to say.

He exchanged stories about schedules and works with Director David instead of me.

I listened to their conversation and tried to save my words as much as possible.

Rather than saving it, I was just worried that I might make a mistake because I was feeling very down.

After the conversation continued for a while, Director David looked at me and said.

“I was so impressed with Director Jeffrey’s ‘September 11’ work that Heeseong starred in. I thought Jin Heeseong’s acting shined in that work as well.”

At his words, I nodded and replied.

“Thank you.”

“So after that, I ended up looking up all of Heeseong’s Korean works. Your acting is quite interesting. I would say it’s acting with a kind of magic that draws people in?”

He stroked his chin and stared at me intently.

Soon he got up from his seat and held out his hand to me.

“I really want Heeseong to take on this work.”

As soon as Director David finished speaking, I smiled faintly and got up from my seat.

Then he shook the hand he held out and replied.

“It’s an honor. I will work hard on filming.”

We shook hands like that and announced the start of the work.