An Actor Who Has Lived For 10,000 Years [EN]: Chapter 254

254. #46 – Choice (3)

A deep, resonant voice echoed around me.

The sharp sound instantly paralyzed my body.

My face and legs.

I couldn’t move anything as I wished, not even my fingertips or toes.

My body was frozen solid.

Now, there was only one thing I could do.

Resent God?

I had long since abandoned such resentment.

Hundreds, thousands of years ago, I might have blamed God and struggled.

But I didn’t want to spend my life complaining about God.

I simply lived the 10,000 years as they were given.

Now, the only thing I could do was choose.

A long time, hard to even talk about.

Standing on the edge of 10,000 years, I was given the choice between ‘death’ and ‘reincarnation’.

Only these two options existed.

Here in this pitch-black darkness.

I couldn’t see anything in the darkness, but I shouted towards God.

“I…”

God seemed to prick up his ears, as if he had been waiting for me to speak.

“My choice is…”

In truth, I didn’t even want to come to this moment of choice.

I knew that at 12 o’clock, midnight, the moment would come when I had to choose between death and reincarnation.

So I had prepared in advance.

A huge amount of sleeping pills.

Before standing at the crossroads of choice, I wanted to end my life neatly with sleeping pills.

That way, I wouldn’t have to face God, who had given me this punishment.

Nor would I have to endure this awful time of choice that was trying to shake me.

I just wanted to close my eyes peacefully and end my life before this time came.

If I choose ‘death’ here now.

I might feel some kind of pain, or I might close my eyes peacefully and return to nothingness.

But if I choose ‘reincarnation’ now.

I will live out the life of Jin Hee-sung, whom I am currently inhabiting.

Then I will live another 10,000 years.

After finding out that I had lived for 10,000 years.

After learning that I had received this hellish punishment, I had painful dreams every day.

So the 10,000 years of the past were messing up my head.

Based on what I saw in my dreams, I lived a life where memories came to me sporadically.

But if I choose reincarnation once more now, I will have to carry the memories of my entire life from now on.

This moment of choice too.

Every trivial moment of my life as Jin Hee-sung.

And even the vast memories of the 10,000 years I lived before.

In other words, I will live in even more extreme pain.

The painful life of being swept away by the vast wave of memories was hard even to imagine.

Even so….

Even so…!

I wanted to be properly by Song Yu-na’s side, even if just once.

“I… will live again.”

I shouted at God at the top of my lungs.

The God who had punished me opened his mouth, seemingly flustered.

“Are you saying you will choose reincarnation?”

“Yes. I will choose reincarnation, not death.”

“Are you really going to choose that?”

Perhaps God’s reaction was natural.

Living for 10,000 years was the punishment he had given me.

And after receiving all the punishment, I was choosing that punishment again of my own volition.

I glared at him and shouted.

“I will not succumb to your punishment.”

He chuckled at my words, as I strongly declared that I would rather receive the punishment.

I stretched my mouth wide towards such a God.

“No, this is not a punishment but a blessing to me. A long life in which I can live the life I want.”

“Foolish one.”

God clicked his tongue as if to laugh at me heartily.

Then, as if to crush me in the deep darkness, my body began to feel heavier and heavier.

“Reincarnation that you have chosen. Good, you will return with the memories of 10,000 years very vividly.”

***

Thud-!

The ceiling I saw when I opened my eyes.

I quickly closed and opened my eyes again to check where I was lying.

Faint lighting.

The surroundings seemed dark and the scent was familiar.

This was the living room of the hotel I was staying in.

My body was sprawled out in the living room, not on the bed.

And… I slowly turned my head to look at the clock.

Exactly 12 o’clock.

It was the time when I stood at the crossroads of choice.

Tick, tock-

Listening to the sound of the clock hands moving, I quickly examined my body and surroundings.

To see if anything had changed, if there was anything wrong.

At that moment.

The minute hand moved by one, to 12:01.

Throb-

A heavy energy rushed into my head all at once.

“Ughaaaaaa!”

Before I could even think about what kind of pain it was or why it was starting, a scream burst out of my mouth.

“Aaaack…!”

All the memories were pouring into me at once.

As many as 10,000 years.

I had seen the days when I lived a 10-year life every time I had a dream.

And when I woke up from the dream, the memories of that time came to me all at once.

I writhed in pain and became more and more exhausted every day.

Having 10 years of memories come in one day was more terrible than I thought.

Because I endured each day in agony from that cruel punishment.

Because I was living in that deathly pain.

I felt like I could endure even if I chose reincarnation and received 10,000 years of memories.

Because it had already been quite a while since I had been living through such hellish days.

But the 10,000 years of memories I was feeling now could not even be compared to before.

It was as much as 1,000 times the time.

“Haa, haa….”

Gradually, my breathing became heavy, and my breath caught as memories came in quickly.

My hands and feet began to tremble as if I had a cramp beyond a simple body ache.

“Ugh!”

The short scream was not coming out of my will.

It was like a struggle bursting out in pain.

I couldn’t even control my trembling body myself.

My body became heavy, and then it was thrown back as it was.

I stretched out my trembling arms to support myself somewhere in order to live.

The table touched the end of my hand.

Taat-!

The medicine bottle and bag containing the sleeping pills on the table were thrown to the floor as they were.

Crash.

The small tableware and documents around it were also scattered in the air.

Everything was spilling and breaking, but I couldn’t control anything. Not even my body.

Thud.

I leaned my body against the chair next to the table.

At that moment.

I threw my body back as if possessed by something.

My head was raised to the end of the sky, and my spine was erected so stiffly that I wondered if it could bend like this.

The black pupils of my eyes had been turned upside down for a long time.

Trembling eyelids.

Even my lips, which were wide open and could not be controlled.

“Ughaaaaaa!”

The vast memories that still remained poured in.

All I could do was writhe while taking in these memories as they were.

“Aaaack…!”

My eyes were turning over more and more, and my body, which was barely on the chair, shook with such great movements that it wouldn’t be strange if it fell off at any moment.

A moment later.

The hotel room was quiet in an instant.

Jin Hee-sung was leaning on the chair with a dazed look.

His eyes were filled with a cold energy that had never been seen before.

***

“Hee-sung, are you really okay?”

Team Leader Kim swallowed a sigh as he looked at Jin Hee-sung’s dazed face.

“…Uh.”

Jin Hee-sung was sitting precariously on the chair as if he were about to fall.

He put his drooping arm on the table and supported his head.

Team Leader Kim quickly examined the sleeping pills and various items scattered on the floor and asked.

“You really didn’t take any sleeping pills, did you?”

Jin Hee-sung blinked his eyes in response to his question.

Only then did Team Leader Kim feel relieved, and he leaned against the table as his legs gave way.

“Thank goodness, thank goodness. I was so worried that something might have happened to you that I really…. I don’t even remember how I got here from Korea.”

Even when buying a plane ticket in Korea.

Even when flying for more than 10 hours on a plane.

Until he came to the hotel and checked on Jin Hee-sung’s life.

Team Leader Kim didn’t fall asleep for even a second, and he never leaned his back comfortably on the chair.

He breathed a sigh of relief just because Jin Hee-sung was alive, and he felt grateful even when looking at the scattered sleeping pills.

“Haa… I’m so glad.”

He bit his lip as he looked at Jin Hee-sung, who was not moving at all.

Then, he hurriedly began to touch Jin Hee-sung’s arms and legs.

He quickly stared at Jin Hee-sung’s face.

“Hee-sung, you….”

Clearly, Team Leader Kim’s eyes met Jin Hee-sung’s eyes and gaze as he was lying on his side, but he felt a strange sense of horror.

Jin Hee-sung’s face was dazed.

His eyes seemed to have no focus at all.

A slightly open mouth.

It was certain. Jin Hee-sung’s condition had changed.

Team Leader Kim frowned and focused on Jin Hee-sung’s face.

Especially the eyes.

Jin Hee-sung’s eyes were originally so full of life that they were overflowing.

He was an actor who was filmed by the camera, and his eyes were conveyed to the viewers in the living room.

Viewers were always fascinated by Jin Hee-sung’s eyes and poured out admiration.

His latest work, ‘The Villain’.

While playing the role of the devil, Jin Hee-sung’s eyes changed a lot from before.

Sometimes Team Leader Kim would flinch when looking at Jin Hee-sung’s eyes.

But the eyes he had now could not be compared to those at all.

“Hyung [older brother or close male friend].”

Team Leader Kim was startled by the voice calling him as he was staring at his eyes.

“Huh?”

“I want to be alone.”

“Ah… okay. You must be tired, you should rest.”

Team Leader Kim quickly shook his head and came to his senses.

He got up from his leaning position.

And a large amount of sleeping pills in his gaze.

Just in case, Team Leader Kim bent down and began to put the sleeping pills in a bag.

“You might fall over. I’ll just clean this up on the floor and get out of here quickly.”

“You can just leave it.”

Before Jin Hee-sung could stop him, Team Leader Kim quickly swept up the sleeping pills.

“Anyway, it’s too dirty to eat. I’ll just take it out and throw it away.”

Team Leader Kim smiled and shook the bag next to his face.

“…Okay.”

“Get some rest.”

He clenched the bag tightly and quickly scanned Jin Hee-sung’s room with his eyes and came out.

And as soon as he confirmed that Jin Hee-sung’s hotel door was closed, he collapsed into his seat.

It was the first time in about 20 hours that he felt comfortable sitting down.

With all the tension released, he leaned against the wall of the hotel hallway before even grabbing his hotel room.

He recalled what had happened so far and let out a long sigh.

“I’m glad Hee-sung is safe… but what the hell happened?”

Then he turned his head and looked at Jin Hee-sung’s tightly closed room.

And Jin Hee-sung’s unfamiliar eyes kept coming to his mind.

“It’s hard to say that his eyes are out of focus, but it also seems like he has a murderous look.”

Team Leader Kim made a sound and tilted his head.

“What should I say? If you keep staring at him, he’s a little scary….”

His head was filled with worries about Jin Hee-sung.

It was only after a long time that he shook it off and got up, dragging his heavy steps towards the hotel lobby.