An Actor Who Has Lived For 10,000 Years [EN]: Chapter 346

346 #63 – The Actor Who Lived for 10,000 Years (1)

“Patient… it’s a brain tumor.”

“……”

I couldn’t say anything to the doctor’s words.

No, I was speechless; no words came out of my mouth.

A brain tumor?

No way.

Hairs stood on end all over my body, and a drop of sweat suddenly trickled down my cold spine.

A dazed face.

I stared at the doctor with disbelieving eyes, and he spoke again.

“You weren’t aware at all?”

At his words, I carefully parted my tightly closed lips.

“…No, not at all.”

“I heard you’ve been suffering from severe headaches frequently.”

“Yes, I thought it was because I was sensitive.”

Actually….

The reason I suffered from headaches and was in pain was, of course, because of the 10,000 years of memories.

No, I was sure of it.

I wouldn’t be having such a hard time otherwise.

But to think that these headaches weren’t about my past or the future, but because of a brain tumor.

I couldn’t believe it at all.

I squeezed my eyes shut and asked the doctor.

“Doctor… then what’s going to happen to me…?”

Before answering my question, he seemed to swallow a short sigh.

I could tell from that sigh.

That my condition wasn’t good.

“I’ll tell you again when your guardian comes, but the truth is, the patient’s condition is… very serious right now.”

“I’m that serious? No way….”

“It couldn’t have been just a simple headache. Why didn’t you come to the hospital until it got this bad?”

The doctor asked me reproachfully.

Even in his voice, I could feel a strong sense of pity.

“……”

“There were quite a few times when you could have been treated, but to be honest… it’s too late now.”

Damn it.

It felt like the sky was falling.

Lying in the hospital like this now.

That my condition was diagnosed as a brain tumor.

And that treatment was difficult.

I couldn’t believe it.

No, I didn’t want to believe it.

If it was going to be like this, I should have visited the hospital as Park said, as CEO Kim said before.

But it was already a reality that I couldn’t turn back.

The doctor bit his lip and avoided my gaze.

Even though he had the profession of a doctor, it wouldn’t be easy to inform a patient of such a story.

For a moment, only silence filled the ward, as if a heavy air had settled.

The doctor’s breath, as if comforting me.

Listening to his rough breathing, I was barely suppressing the emotions that were trying to burst out with reason.

I have to think rationally.

There’s nothing good about letting emotions take precedence in this situation.

And I broke the silence and raised my head.

“Doctor.”

“Yes, patient.”

“So, you’re saying I definitely have a brain tumor…?”

When I asked about my condition again, the doctor nodded slowly.

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Then… if I have surgery, will I be okay?”

“That’s….”

Before I could hear the doctor’s answer, I hurriedly shouted.

“I can’t have surgery right now. As you know, I have a very important performance next month. I think I’ll have to have surgery after that. Can’t I postpone it until then?”

But the answer that came back from his mouth made me sink back down again.

“That’s not what’s important right now.”

The doctor took a long breath through his nose and continued.

“The performance isn’t important. The patient’s condition is too serious right now. It was discovered too late.”

“Then you’re saying I need to have surgery right away….”

“Even with surgery, the success rate is about 30%….”

At his words, my brow furrowed, and I trembled my lips and asked.

“Then… what about the 70%? Are you saying I could die?”

“…I have to open it up to know, but if it’s to the point where I can’t touch it, I have no choice but to close it.”

At the doctor’s words, I gulped down the water next to me.

And with a blank face, I asked him seriously.

“Please tell me honestly. Even with surgery… is there a very low chance of me living?”

I looked straight into his eyes.

And he didn’t hide it anymore and told me.

“The rest is probably a situation where it’s hard to do anything even if I open it. Of course, I can only know exactly what the patient’s condition is after seeing it directly.”

The doctor swallowed dryly with a calm face and continued.

“If you don’t have surgery now, you can extend your life by 6 months in the hospital, or if the surgery is successful with a 30% chance, you can extend your life by about 3 or 4 years in the hospital.”

“So… are you saying that if I don’t have surgery now, I only have 6 months to live…?”

Even though I tried to be calm, my vision was blurred with tears of fear.

“Yes, that’s the period when you’re hospitalized and check your treatment and condition every day.”

“Ha….”

“Of course, the condition may improve further.”

“But that doesn’t mean it can be completely cured, right?”

“…That’s right. As a doctor, I will do my best to treat you. Surgery too….”

I nodded before he could finish speaking.

“Doctor, can I have some time to think alone?”

***

The lights are off in the hospital room.

Park had been shedding tears all day in the hospital room.

I was the one diagnosed with a brain tumor.

As if he had 6 months left, Park sobbed and wailed.

Looking at him crying like a flood, I spent the day blankly like a person whose tears had dried up.

I didn’t want to do anything, and I couldn’t do anything.

After hearing words without hope, my motivation disappeared.

I couldn’t even dream about the future.

Eventually, after sending Park out of the hospital room just before he fainted.

Finally, in the silence, I was able to look back on the situation alone.

“I have a brain tumor?”

Now, anger no longer surged.

Because I had already gone through all the stages of anger, denial, and resentment.

The only stage left for me was acceptance.

But it was hard to easily accept all of this.

“Then… does that mean I only have 6 months to live?”

When I closed my eyes tightly and thought of 6 months, tears welled up.

Death.

Living for 10,000 years, I have seen countless deaths and many births.

In fact, no one in this world has faced death as much as I have.

Perhaps that’s why I’ve never thought about the word ‘death’ even once.

Until now, death to me was.

Just ‘another beginning.’

Death was a word too far from the word end.

But if I face death in Jin Hee-sung’s body in this state.

I didn’t know what would happen.

This is my first time in this case.

After living for 10,000 years, I chose another 10,000 years of reincarnation.

The first death after that.

It will definitely be different from the past.

Because I have to live another 10,000 years with the memories of the past 10,000 years.

“Wait a minute… 6 months is the story when I do nothing and receive treatment in the hospital, right?”

The problem and dream right in front of me.

The musical.

The moment the thought of acting came to my mind, I shook my head.

“It’s funny that I’m thinking about musicals when I’m facing death….”

Not only that.

When I heard that I was going to die, it felt like all the days I had lived as Jin Hee-sung were unfolding before my eyes.

Suddenly.

“Yuna…!”

The longing for Song Yuna began to rush in like crazy.

The reason I repeated that hellish time of 10,000 years again.

It was all because of Song Yuna.

***

The next day.

As soon as day dawned, Park, whose eyes were swollen, opened the hospital room door.

“Hee-sung, how’s your body?”

He smiled at me with a forced bright face and asked.

“I’m fine. Hyung [older brother/male friend], your face is really funny.”

I looked at his face and smiled.

“I’m glad you smiled even after seeing my face. First of all, eat well, take your medicine, and let’s talk about the surgery date.”

“Hyung, I’m thinking about the surgery….”

Before I could finish speaking, Park frowned and replied.

“You can live somehow. I’ll save you. CEO Kim decided to find a hospital and doctor in Korea and come over to New York. So….”

“Hyung, I think….”

Park didn’t try to listen to my story anyway.

“Let’s eat first. CEO Kim has a flight coming, so I think he’ll arrive tonight or tomorrow morning. I’ll go meet the doctor. Eat.”

“…Okay.”

After Park left the hospital room.

I looked at the prepared meal.

I had no appetite, but I struggled to pick up the spoon to live.

“Yeah… I have to live first.”

How many hours had passed?

Bang-

The sound of the door coming from the living room next to the bedroom.

I shouted as if to preempt Park’s nagging full of worries.

“Hyung, I finished eating. I took my medicine, so stop nagging.”

“……”

But no answer was heard.

I poked my head out and opened my mouth again.

“I’m serious, I took my medicine….”

Moment.

“Hey, Jin Hee-sung!”

A tearful voice and a sharp voice burst out.

“…Yuna?”

I don’t know when she left Korea.

How did she know and come here?

Song Yuna was wearing a hat and ran to me, covered in tears.

“Jin Hee-sung, *oppa* [term of endearment for an older brother or male friend used by a female], why are you… why are you sick? You said you were going to do a musical, is this a musical performance hall….”

Her appearance of crying and shouting as if she was out of breath.

The moment I saw such Song Yuna, it felt like I was facing my condition that I had been trying to avoid.

“It’s okay if you get treatment here for a while. How did you get here?”

“Why are you sick? Why, what did you do wrong? Why should Jin Hee-sung be here!”

I pulled Song Yuna’s arm and hugged her tightly.

I, too, broke the string of reason and burst into tears that I had barely held back.

So we hugged each other for a long time, giving and receiving warmth of comfort.

A few minutes later.

Song Yuna took a breath while sobbing and came out of my arms.

And she stared at me with both cheeks wet with tears.

“Hey, Jin Hee-sung.”

“Yeah.”

“Will you marry me?”

“What?”

“No, let’s get married. Marry me.”

At her words, I let go of Song Yuna’s hand that I was holding.

“I can’t. No, I won’t.”

“Why? Let’s set a date and get married as soon as possible.”

“You know everything. I have 6 months, Yuna. I don’t want to make you a widow, and I don’t want to show you the end with such memories.”

Song Yuna started crying again at my words.

“Then… are you going to break up with me?”

At her words, I closed my eyes tightly and nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

Then Song Yuna shouted as if the hospital room would be empty.

“You can have surgery. You can succeed. Don’t you know how big a 30% chance is?”

“It’s only 3 or 4 years at best. And that’s in the hospital.”

“I won’t let you die like this. I’ll spend all my money to save you. I can do that. So don’t say you want to break up!”

“Yuna….”

Song Yuna jumped up from her seat, wiped away her tears with her wrist, and shouted.

“Just say you want to break up one more time. Then I’ll die before you!”

“Yuna, don’t do that. Rationally….”

“I can’t be more rational than I am now. Do you know what I was thinking while flying from Korea to America after hearing your news?”

“……”

“I have no intention of breaking up with you. What are you saying to someone who came here thinking about getting married? I can never break up.”

Song Yuna came to me again and looked at me.

“Hey, Jin Hee-sung. What do you want to do?”

“What I want to do?”

“Yeah. Whether it’s 3 years or 4 years, or if you get treatment and live with me for the rest of your life… is there anything you haven’t been able to do during that time?”

At those words, I raised the corners of my mouth and looked at Song Yuna.

“I just want to… just want to be like this and spend time happily. I want to go like that.”

Song Yuna trembled her lips at my words and asked.

“Then what are you going to do during that time….”

At her question, I shrugged my shoulders and opened my mouth.

“I….”