Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 100

100.

Inside the car heading back to the dorm with the entire God’s Eye team, Yoon Sung-ho sat next to the manager.

When Lee Ji-hyun was the center of God’s Eye, everyone was mindful of her, but now that Yoon Sung-ho had obtained the leader’s authority and the company’s support, things were different. It’s still awkward, but a culture of listening to each other’s opinions and stories is taking root.

This is the result of Yoon Sung-ho taking the initiative by approaching and persuading each member, sharing his thoughts.

Ho-yeon, sitting right behind, leans his head forward to ask.

“Dong-hwa looked exhausted.”

“…He did. He’s had quite a few schedules lately. It’s even more so with the end of the year coming up.”

Yoon Sung-ho thought of Ji Dong-hwa’s face. His mental strength was so strong that it was barely noticeable, but perhaps because the other members weren’t there—Seok-joon wouldn’t notice even if he was—his guard was down, and glimpses of exhaustion could be seen.

In fact, Yoon Sung-ho himself didn’t like showing his difficult side to the group members, so it wasn’t hard to understand. Looking at Ji Dong-hwa, it’s clear that he never wants to show weakness to those close to him. Maybe that’s why he’s so worried.

Lee Ji-hyun, who was listening, carefully added.

“He was like that even when he was in our agency. Hiding his struggles… pretending to be strong.”

Yoon Sung-ho hid his expression, which was about to twist. Joon told him that she had almost led the bullying.

Yoon Sung-ho leaned his chair back slightly and whispered into Lee Ji-hyun’s ear. He shouldn’t be seen blaming the other members.

“There were rumors that you led the bullying.”

Lee Ji-hyun lowered her head with a slightly subdued expression upon hearing those words. After being rejected by her father, whom she had trusted, and being persuaded by Yoon Sung-ho through days and nights of conversation, her personality had softened a lot. Of course, as Ji Dong-hwa said, her true nature hadn’t changed, but she had matured to the point where she could at least recognize what she had done wrong.

“…It’s not entirely wrong, but to be exact, it felt like he was isolating everyone. Of course, it’s my fault.”

Lee Ji-hyun recalls that time. When she acted like the leader of the group, when she couldn’t see anything else, Ji Dong-hwa seemed not to see her, drawing a line and ignoring her like a machine.

The feeling was very different from now. Unlike the robotic and annoying Ji Dong-hwa of the past, the current Ji Dong-hwa was more human.

“If you’re sorry, why don’t you apologize this time? You might not be forgiven… but who knows, you might get along better.”

Upon hearing Yoon Sung-ho’s suggestion, Lee Ji-hyun’s expression darkened a bit more. An apology to someone could be the most difficult thing in the world. Apart from admitting one’s mistakes, acknowledging them to others and asking for forgiveness is directly related to one’s pride. And perhaps Ji Dong-hwa would call that foolishness.

* * *

The Peach Music Awards, an event held in late November or the first week of December. With the abolition of awards ceremonies in the year-end music programs of the three major broadcasting stations, it has established itself as one of the most prestigious awards ceremonies.

Therefore, receiving the Rookie Award here is said to be not bad.

Thus, the purpose of this awards ceremony is to complete the quest.

‘Gijisaeng, show me the quest.’

Ding—!

[Quest ‘Glorious Year’!

You have finally succeeded in debuting. But idols shouldn’t stop there. Win the Rookie Award to acquire the following rewards.

Completion Condition: Acquire a Rookie Award that is recognized by the public.

Reward: Fragmentary information about Gijisaeng, a piece of possibility]

A quest that Gijisaeng has put up, betting his own information.

It’s my hope, and it would be nice if I could deduce Gijisaeng’s identity with just that information.

Now that I’ve come this far, it doesn’t matter what Gijisaeng ‘is’.

I am working in the studio with eyes that others would describe as haggard, with a cup of Americano next to me.

‘Like a thug.’

The song decided upon after a meeting with Yoon Sung-ho was ‘Fighter’. It’s a song characterized by crazy lyrics about fighting against the absurdities of the world. The key reason for its selection is that there are two large verses with rap.

It’s quite surprising that the agency had such a song as the title track of an old idol album.

The problem is that the song wasn’t very popular because it wasn’t very good. I don’t know who wrote the song, but even considering that it’s an old song, it’s undeniably outdated.

In particular, the magnificent atmosphere and solemn sound of the chorus overlapped with the lyrics about fighting the world, giving it a bit of a… baseball cheer vibe.

A song with a heart-pounding sensation is not my taste, and the old-fashioned beat doesn’t fit the times, so a major overhaul is planned.

And the concept of the construction is, a thug.

I recall the conversation I had with Yoon Sung-ho yesterday.

“Dong-hwa, is this… okay?”

Yoon Sung-ho asks anxiously when I choose ‘Fighter’.

“To be honest, it’s a little hard to say this, but that song is a bit…”

Yoon Sung-ho, with his kind personality, quietly expresses his meaning, unable to say that the song is bad. Ho-yeon, who was sitting next to him, nods his head upon hearing those words.

“It’s bad.”

Without saying anything, I took out the laptop I had brought. It’s a device that has been customized with the help of Lee Hyun-jae to be able to work on songs.

“Okay, let’s start with the beat.”

At that time, I casually created and played a beat on the spot. Replacing the magnificence of the original song with eeriness, and the solemnity with danger, creating a beat with a thug-like feel that can be seen in recent hip-hop songs.

It was only natural that Yoon Sung-ho was surprised, and both Ho-yeon, who I thought had no emotional expression, and Lee Ji-hyun, who was subdued, showed good reactions. Seok-joon was scribbling something in a notebook while watching me work, probably studying composition.

“Wow, it’s a similar progression to the original song… I guess this song goes well with a thug-like atmosphere.”

Listening to Yoon Sung-ho’s admiration, I was able to finalize the general direction of the arrangement.

Having finished reminiscing, I stared at the studio computer again and drank coffee. I’m tired.

‘……I’ll just set the direction today and hand it over to the A&R team [Artists and Repertoire, the division of a record label responsible for talent scouting and artistic development]. I’ll have to set the final arrangement direction with the A&R team, so the schedule……’

The body’s hardship can be endured if the mind is clear. The same goes for lack of sleep. I promised Chae Ha-min not to overdo it, but if I can endure it, it won’t be too much, so it’ll be okay for now.

‘Thug, what is the essence of a thug? What makes a thug a thug?’

More than that, I continued working, deeply contemplating what thug-like is.

* * *

Seok-joon dropped by Ji Dong-hwa’s studio.

‘Coffee for hyung-nim [older brother/male friend]!’

He is one of the members learning composition at Blossense, but compared to Dong-hwa hyung, his skills are insignificant.

Whenever Ji Dong-hwa is working, Seok-joon always goes to help him, but more often than not, he ends up learning rather than helping.

Even just during Momoji, if Dong-hwa hyung hadn’t helped, the early parts would have been of lower quality, like Wizney’s sequels.

‘Today, I hope I can be of some help, even if it’s just a little bit.’

Even though the reason Seok-joon decided to become a rapper was childish, the desire within it was genuine, so he sincerely wanted to be as good at composing as Ji Dong-hwa. That’s why he gave up college and everything else.

Arriving at Ji Dong-hwa’s studio, Seok-joon knocked on the door. No feedback.

“Hyung—nim— it’s—me—”

Seok-joon waits quietly again. No answer is heard.

The memory of Ji Dong-hwa collapsing last time resurfaces in Seok-joon’s mind.

“Hyung-nim!”

Bang.

Inside the opened door, Ji Dong-hwa was with his head dropped on the desk.

“Hyung-nim! You can’t die! I haven’t even played you the first song I wrote yet!”

Seok-joon rushed over in a flurry, trying to pick up Ji Dong-hwa and run straight to the hospital.

Just as he was about to lift Ji Dong-hwa up, Ji Dong-hwa suddenly got up and tapped Seok-joon’s head. Seok-joon let out a short scream at the sudden attack.

“No speeding.”

After saying that, Ji Dong-hwa lowered his head again and fell asleep. None of the Blossense members had ever seen Ji Dong-hwa looking sleepy. That’s why Seok-joon didn’t even know that this was Ji Dong-hwa’s sleeping habit.

Seok-joon was just standing there blankly. Because,

‘……How can you be so calm even after waking up from sleep, hyung-nim!’

He was amazed that Ji Dong-hwa, even in his sleep, had grasped the situation with accurate pronunciation.

And Seok-joon’s gaze naturally turned to the computer.

A monitor with a phrase that was impossible to understand, ‘Reflection on the extension and intension to determine the conceptual category of a thug’.

There, based on the Korean document standard, there were exactly 15 pages of text analyzing what a thug is socially, culturally, and linguistically.—As an aside, footnotes and references were also written.—

“What the hell—is this—”

Seok-joon could read it, but it was the same as not being able to read it. Even if Lee Hyun-jae came, there would be questions. Seok-joon shifted his gaze back to the sleeping Ji Dong-hwa.

“…You’re—really—a unique—hyung-nim—”

Seok-joon shook his head. If Ji Dong-hwa had been awake, he probably would have heard a word about lacking self-reflection.

* * *

Twice a week, we got to meet with the God’s Eye members. The rest of the time was overlapping with our stage preparations, work, and other schedules… to be honest, we’re having a terrible time.

“No, is the arrangement already finished? You seem faster than our A&R team members?”

“Not all of it… just the first verse.”

Yoon Sung-ho’s expression was filled with worry. I was about to become a little puzzled. Is he worried that the arrangement will be bad because we did it in a hurry?

Without saying a word, I played the arrangement on my laptop in the middle of the practice room. This is how you should present things, with results.

After listening to the entire arrangement, Yoon Sung-ho blankly looks at me and claps. Then, he makes an even more worried expression. According to reasonable deduction, he seems to be wondering if this concept will suit him. Yoon Sung-ho is known among fans for his kind image, a model citizen, and a church member.

So I say to Yoon Sung-ho.

“You don’t have to worry. You’ll pull it off the best.”

Yoon Sung-ho tilted his head once at my words and thanked me. At that moment, the practice room door opened, and Lee Ji-hyun entered with bags full in both hands.

“I, I bought something to eat!”

Her voice is trembling, but why is that? I don’t think Yoon Sung-ho would have beaten her up.

Unfortunately, I’m not the type who likes snacks, so I took a step back, watching Ho-yeon and Seok-joon rush towards the food.

I’m sure it was a coincidence that Lee Ji-hyun sighed in disappointment at that time.

* * *

Today is the day of the Peach Music Awards, sponsored by BMW. 7 AM, an hour later than my usual wake-up time.

I got out of bed. And I could sense it.

‘……My body, it’s heavy.’

My body is so heavy just from moving this much, just from suffering that much.

“Dong-hwa, did you sleep well…?”

Chae Ha-min rubs his eyes and greets me, surprised that he woke up around the same time as me, then is shocked.

“Wow… one of my life’s bucket list items has been achieved.”