Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 135

135.

Chae Ha-min’s father, Chae Doo-shik, dragged his heavy body up again today. He looked down at his wife, who was sleeping soundly beside him, and was momentarily lost in sentiment.

He reminisced about how he had risen to the position of being called president.

“Honey, are you awake?”

“Yeah, sleep more. I’ll get my own coffee and head out.”

Chae Doo-shik knew that his wife still insisted on making his morning coffee herself, even though they now had hired help for most of the housework, so he said this.

“Aww, still.”

His wife always woke up and stretched once. Chae Doo-shik also stretched, following his wife, and got up. It was a refreshing day.

“Honey, when are you going to reconcile with Ha-min?”

Chae Doo-shik’s heart grew heavy at the mention of his son’s name.

“…No matter what, he needs to take over the business.”

“Ugh, not that again. You gave him permission when the survival show ended.”

“It’s not a big deal for him to do something else when he’s young, so that’s why I allowed it. I didn’t know he was so serious. Even when he said he was going to debut… I don’t know much about that world… Besides, I didn’t think the team Ha-min was in would do so well. I thought they wouldn’t succeed even after debuting, or something, some kind of incident would happen.”

“You’ve never laid a hand on it.”

“That’s… I feel bad about that too.”

He still regretted getting angry at the words ‘that damn company.’ Wasn’t the reason he started the business for his family in the first place? He had gone too far in losing sight of his priorities.

“Your teacher would be thrilled to see this, wouldn’t he? Don’t be so harsh, just give him permission.”

That’s right. That friend would just laugh if he heard this story. And then he would very slowly tell him his intentions. He didn’t even know his number, and they couldn’t even meet now, but he was still the person he respected the most.

“…I don’t know why I’m doing this. I just have a feeling that everything will be right if Ha-min takes over the company.”

“…Really? Is that your ‘feeling’? Or are you just saying that?”

“…It’s that ‘feeling.’ That’s why it’s a problem. My feelings are rarely wrong, right?”

“That’s true, but…”

Of course, there were times when he was unstable in the early days of the business because his intuition hadn’t fully developed yet, but Chae Doo-shik knew and believed that his current company existed because he had followed his intuition.

“I don’t know. I just feel like it has to be that way, this…”

His intuition was telling him. It was about time for Chae Ha-min to quit being an idol and start working. It was whispering intensely, as if he shouldn’t even consider any other possibilities. It was more like a kind of déjà vu, close to a future he had already seen once.

The stubbornness that came with succeeding in business. The conviction that he was right. All of this was causing the quarrel with his beloved son to drag on.

“You’ve never seen Ha-min get so angry, have you?”

“…I know, ha, I wish that team would just fail.”

When his businessman’s consciousness and his father’s consciousness clashed like this, Chae Doo-shik had not learned which one to follow. Such clumsiness eventually manifested in harsh expressions.

“Honey.”

His wife sighed once and got up to go to the kitchen.

I’d rather protect my intuition and the harmony of my family… no, how can I face my son who has given up his dream…? No, still.

Chae Doo-shik’s morning began so complicatedly.

* * *

One day, Chae Doo-shik came home from work and sat on the sofa in front of the TV to watch a drama. He couldn’t watch the live broadcast because he was busy with work, so he started re-watching it with a paid service. ‘The Pomegranate Flower Will Bloom Again,’ a sensual title. An Eastern atmosphere. The story of a bastard who becomes the emperor of the Korean Empire. All of that stimulated Chae Doo-shik’s emotions, so there was no room for hesitation.

The reason he became engrossed in dramas was the reminiscence of the past. If he could find even a little bit of his old self, he could somehow ignite his already cold heart.

He didn’t know why his old heart became so easily empty.

The drama began after the age rating notice. The middle-aged man in his 50s was on a quest to find a reason to live again today.

But as he was immersed in the drama, savoring each scene, a familiar face appeared. His son. He almost grabbed the remote control, but he was surprised that his grown son was appearing, even briefly, in the drama he was watching.

He relaxed his hands and body, and as he watched his son, another familiar face appeared.

‘That kid… was Dong-hwa, right.’

From the first time he saw him, it was obvious that he was a smart kid. His eyes subtly showed a maturity that was not typical for his age. At least, he looked like a 30-year-old who had washed away the impetuosity of youth. Perhaps he remembered him more because he looked similar to that friend from the past.

“…Looking closely, he looks even more like him. He has the same bright energy.”

As he was muttering to himself, the conversation between Jane and Ji Dong-hwa gradually escalated into passion.

The words that if you want something, if you think it’s worth risking everything for because you’ll regret not getting it for the rest of your life, then jump in. The words that even falling can be beautiful if you can do that. Each word kept stimulating his memories.

‘If everything is predetermined, and there is a human being who is heading for failure, would that be a pity?’

Chae Doo-shik listened to the voice echoing in his head and slowly focused on the face on TV. It strangely overlapped with the face of the man he met on the Han River when his first company collapsed due to his choice.

“He looks like him. He definitely… looks like him.”

‘Is a human who bets everything even though it’s clear they will fail a gambler? No, a gambler bets on low odds, so if there are no odds, would they be an idiot?’

When he was watching the flowing river, he was worried about whether to give up the business or just jump into the river like a madman.

‘But, in my opinion, no matter how much others point fingers and call them stupid. Maybe even they themselves think they are fools.’

The friend in front of the Han River had a relaxed smile on his face and said.

‘Isn’t that inevitable? First, you have to accept it. If you burn like that, even regret will burn with it.’

Since then, the memory of briefly meeting and having a short conversation on the Han River without any promises, from that child’s face, from his tone, and from the content of his words, increasingly dominated his brain.

Chae Doo-shik immediately picked up his phone and called his wife, who had gone to her parents’ house for a while.

Even as the short ringing tone echoed, Chae Doo-shik’s intuition sharpened that day more and more.

– Oh, honey, what’s wrong? Did you happen to watch the drama~?

His wife knew. But she didn’t say a word to him about watching it.

“Yeah, can you, uh, get Ha-min to get an autograph from that kid, Dong-hwa?”

– Tell him yourself! And take the opportunity to reconcile! I want to give some support to our Ha-min, but I’m too afraid to! Send him lunch boxes, huh? Send some coffee to the people who take good pictures of our baby! Give something to the people who like our baby! I want to, but I just can’t!

“…Okay, I’ll tell him myself.”

Even after several years, he couldn’t beat his wife’s eloquence.

* * *

Chae Ha-min looked at me with a sorry expression. In the quiet practice room, I could hear Chae Ha-min swallowing hard.

“…My father isn’t the type to lie to me, but he promised that he would understand everything after meeting you, Dong-hwa. It’s hard to believe, no matter how I look at it.”

Chae Ha-min said, stammering.

“I’m worried that he might say something bad to you. I’m also thinking that he might be trying to use you to make me give up my dream.”

Like Chae Ha-min, I don’t really understand what this context is.

I don’t know how meeting me can be a condition for reconciliation with Chae Ha-min, and I don’t know why he wants to meet me.

However, since someone who runs a business can’t not understand the weight of a word once spoken, it is true that meeting him would be a win-win situation if it allows Chae Ha-min to do what he wants.

“…Is that so?”

“So, it’s about something related to you, but I don’t want you to suffer because of me, and to be honest, if you really think about it, uh, I know that me arguing with my father is a privileged worry, and also…”

He’s talking too much. Chae Ha-min doesn’t want me to suffer because of his affairs, but meeting his father is no hardship at all. I’ve actually met Chae Ha-min’s mother separately. The only pain I’ll experience is probably just disliking the awkwardness.

“Ha-min.”

That’s why, even though it might not be polite, I cut off Chae Ha-min’s words in the middle. It seems more important for this rabbit to regain stability than to be polite.

“I’m okay with meeting your father.”

“…Huh?”

“I’m okay with meeting him.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah. You said your father isn’t someone who breaks promises. Then it’s much more reasonable to meet him.”

At my firm words, Chae Ha-min looked blank for a moment, as if he was stunned.

“So, when does he want to meet?”

“…Tomorrow.”

Oh dear, I think I’ll have a lot to prepare tonight. I should make a PPT [PowerPoint presentation] about how idol activities can help after inheriting the management rights of a trading company.

* * *

Chae Ha-min always tries to understand everything positively, but for some reason, he couldn’t do that today.

“…Dong-hwa, are you really okay? I’m so sorry… To be honest, I don’t know what kind of things you’ll hear.”

“You’ve been worrying about my problems too, so it’s a small repayment.”

“I really haven’t done anything.”

“I’ll return those words as they are.”

“…What do you mean.”

“I don’t do anything either.”

Then, Ji Dong-hwa got up from his seat as if he had nothing more to say and took out the cleaning tools. There was also a small murmur of ‘Damn dog bastard.’

‘…Dong-hwa is really nice.’

If Ji Dong-hwa had heard that, he would have snorted and said that he couldn’t be such a nice person, but that’s what Chae Ha-min thought.

Thanks to his father’s business success since childhood, Chae Ha-min, who always had a thick wallet, had almost nothing lacking, but he had only one thing lacking: few friends. In other words, an easily opened wallet. That was one of the reasons why Chae Ha-min had few friends.

The combination of wealthy wealth, natural naivety, and a positive personality in everything was unfortunately seen as good prey in the eyes of selfish people. And Chae Ha-min was not a calculating person enough to use such people, so trust and betrayal always intersected.

There were times when he was hurt by hearing people in the name of friends cursing him behind his back after taking meals or gifts.

It’s amazing that he can still have a flower garden in his head even after going through all those processes, but that was probably possible because of the habit of raising animals and giving affection.

To such Chae Ha-min, the existences that he could call friends, brothers, and sisters for almost the first time were so precious. To the point where he wanted to protect them even if it meant cutting ties with his father, whom he respected in his own way.

“Dong-hwa, I’ll repay you somehow!”

Chae Ha-min shouted as he stood up from his seat.

“…Clean up quickly.”

Ji Dong-hwa only frowned and answered that way, as if he was annoyed by the loud noise.

A human who has few friends because he is positive in everything and a human who has few friends because he is negative in everything. They have gratitude for each other, but they don’t understand why the other person is grateful to them.

* * *

Ki Ji-saeng, who had been checking the screen with a monitor up to this point, turned off the monitor and leaned back in his chair.

Possibility is a damn sensitive thing, and if it’s not realized as originally intended, it’s a dog-like thing that wriggles and tries to be realized somehow. Entering hard mode was because such possibilities seemed to have subsided roughly, in order to give him complete freedom.

Was it thanks to that? This is how possibilities are connected. In the first place, the reason why Ji Dong-hwa was put into the practice room where Chae Ha-min was was to drag Ji Dong-hwa to the audition, but at the same time, it was a choice that took into account the possibilities that could have continued in the previous life.

In other words, Ji Dong-hwa and Chae Ha-min had the potential to be connected in their previous lives. All the other members are also people who collapsed with only the possibility of being connected like that.

It’s a very strange concept, possibility. How ignorantly do humans live, missing the possibility that each other can be each other’s most precious existence. So how foolishly did he give up all those relationships and live only doing research.

“Jawa, come here.”

Ki Ji-saeng, who had recently become lonely being alone, created a companion dog with AI [Artificial Intelligence]. The full name is Dejawa. Jawa is better than Grandpa Chronos to talk to. An old man who is worse than a dog.

“Woof?”

“Bring me a book.”

Dejawa checks the data sent to him. Then, he puts his head inside the gap in the space and brings a book in his mouth.

“Good job, Jawa.”

Jawa, who handed over the book, jumps onto Ki Ji-saeng’s lap and rubs his head. Ki Ji-saeng smiles and strokes his smooth mechanical head and picks up the book.

“Damn life, and damn philosophy.”

Ki Ji-saeng, reading the title of the book and sweeping it once, was feeling longing based on the human emotions that had been revived just a little.