Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 148

148.

Jun-sung watched Ji Dong-hwa frantically gulp down water in front of him, attended to by Lee Hyun-jae, punctuated by violent coughing.

“Whoa, intense.”

Wait a minute, that’s not the problem right now.

Jun-sung glanced at Ye-eun, who was smiling as she watched Ji Dong-hwa’s suffering.

‘…Seriously, what is it? I’ve heard it, but hearing it in person feels weird.’

Even Jun-sung, who had known Ye-eun for 15 years, didn’t readily believe Ye-eun’s words, but someone who had known him for less than a year did.

‘What is it? I’m a little jealous.’

He also wanted to believe Ye-eun’s words verbatim. He had put in a lot of effort, but why wasn’t he receiving such grace, and why was that cute and lovely composer receiving it? It’s strange, very.

Ye-eun, feeling Jun-sung’s gaze, made a playful expression and said with his mouth.

‘I told you, right? Awesome. Different from hyung [older brother or male friend].’

“Ye-eun, I’m a little sad.”

“Hyung should speak with his mouth too.”

“Even though I, huh?”

“I know, I know. I would have killed myself a long time ago if it weren’t for hyung.”

“Ah, please don’t say things like that.”

“But… isn’t it amazing?”

Ye-eun naturally took a spoonful of tom yum soup and munched on it as if it were delicious. Ji Dong-hwa, who was coughing, looked at Ye-eun with a serious expression, wondering how humanity had developed and enjoyed such food, before being attended to by Lee Hyun-jae again.

Ye-eun ate the fragrant cilantro and rich tomato, and the dish that fervently showed its presence in between, and whispered to Jun-sung.

“How about it, do you believe my words?”

Another sip. He kept eating as if he wasn’t getting tired of it. It was Ye-eun, who loved Southeast Asian food. Come to think of it, this place was also a local *matjib* [맛집, a restaurant known for its excellent food] that Ye-eun had found according to his taste.

Then whispered again.

‘…Cilantro smell.’

“How do you believe the prophecies I make?”

Jun-sung eventually lowered his head at Ye-eun’s overly excited expression.

‘Ah, this won’t do. I have to learn. I’m going to somehow get him as a teacher and learn how to trust, I am.’

Jun-sung raised his head. In front of him, Ji Dong-hwa, who would become his teacher in the future, was forcibly putting tom yum soup into Ryu Iden’s mouth.

“Say ‘ah’.”

“No, Dong-hwa hyung, how can I eat it after seeing you eat it like that!”

“Everything is just an uncertain fact until you experience it, Iden.”

“No, there’s also such a thing as indirect experience!”

“Indirect experience is not enough.”

“I, I’m going to eat curry.”

Ji Dong-hwa shook his head firmly.

“I want to remember the same moment as hyung.”

“Hey, if you say such an emotional line!”

Ryu Iden squeezed his eyes shut and took a bite of the tom yum soup that Ji Dong-hwa was feeding him.

“…Huh?”

Ryu Iden, who drank the soup and savored it slowly, slowly opened his tightly closed eyes.

“Dong-hwa hyung, this is delicious?”

“Goodness.”

Ji Dong-hwa’s expression doesn’t change much, but at this moment, he was clearly exuding a ‘disappointed’ nuance. Then, scooping curry onto his plate, he was saying, ‘What are you growing on your tongue… well, biologically, they’re different species……’.

‘What on earth are my juniors doing?’

But you can’t curse at the person who will soon become your teacher, even in your heart. Jun-sung also silently scooped pad thai onto his plate.

* * *

“What, what nonsense are you talking about……”

I had difficulty managing my expression.

“Tell me the secret, how to trust other people.”

Jun-sung was making an absurd request with a very serious expression in front of him.

I can teach you how to judge the rationality of words, not how to trust others. But… I don’t trust people very well either, *seonbae-nim* [선배님, a term of respect for a senior or elder].

“Actually, Ye-eun doesn’t live up to his name very well, you know?”

I see. The list of names I heard at the sports day should be deleted from my memory.

“…But, he lives up to his name.”

I stared at Jun-sung’s face without saying a word.

What is he saying? Why is he neatly ignoring the law of contradiction, a quantum mechanics-like human.

Numerous thoughts flashed through my head. Classical logic will exclude that Jun-sung.

“…I understand.”

Then I’m worried about Hyun-jae, so I’ll be going now. I’m very concerned that the only normal fox between Ryu Iden and Ye-eun will suffer.

“Wait a minute, I understand that this might sound a little strange to your ears, but there’s a reason for this.”

Jun-sung sighed and took a sip of Thai carbonated drink.

“So, he makes prophecies and the accuracy rate is very good, but he can’t function as a prophet.”

“…I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

I was sitting back at a table in the middle of Bangkok’s night for some reason.

“I’ll tell you a little more in detail.”

* * *

Jun-sung clearly remembered the words Ye-eun had said when he first met him.

The first meeting between Jun-sung, who was much younger than now, and Ye-eun, who had joined as a trainee a little later than him, at the age of 10. At that time, as soon as Ye-eun saw Jun-sung’s face for the first time.

‘Wow, hyung will debut.’

He said.

“…Isn’t that just saying he’s handsome?”

“Well, it could be, but when I think about it now, I was strange.”

As soon as Jun-sung heard those words, he was furious. Why lie with something so important that you don’t even mean it? Like when you smell rotten food, your face wrinkles immediately, reflexively.

‘…It’s not a lie.’

‘Ha, get out of the way.’

Jun-sung, who was 13 years old and had become very desperate to debut, was at odds with Ye-eun from the first meeting.

“…Well, if it sounded like a lie, it could have been.”

Jun-sung shook his head at Ji Dong-hwa’s words. This wasn’t just a matter of ‘it sounded like a lie’. It wasn’t just a level of suspicion, but a conviction. A belief that the words coming out of that mouth could not be realized as they were.

“What bullshit… please keep telling me.”

“There’s no need to correct it, our junior. I know it sounds like bullshit to me too. But… even more bullshit is.”

Surprisingly, Ye-eun didn’t just say innocent things like ‘You’ll debut’ to Jun-sung. As time passed, he said the same thing to all six members who would become TOT members, except for himself.

“…The possibility of coincidence.”

“Low. It’s terribly low too. It’s not like he’s the Midas *son* [손, hand] of the entertainment industry, a talent scout with excellent pearl-finding abilities.”

However, there was something as strange as Ye-eun accurately picking the six people who would debut. All six of them, like Jun-sung, got angry, saying that they were saying things they didn’t mean with sensitive issues.

Even though they all had different personalities, whether they were gentle or fiery, everyone.

Jun-sung stopped talking there for a moment. He looked up at the night sky, but the lights of Bangkok were too bright and the starlight was not visible properly.

“…Anyway, there’s a lot more than that. Don’t you have any ideas?”

Ji Dong-hwa nodded and replied briefly.

“The success of the drama.”

Jun-sung nodded. The most recent prophecy he had heard from Ye-eun, that the drama in which Blossoms was making a cameo appearance would be the most popular in the same time slot.

“I’m curious and envious of why Dong-hwa *hubae* [후배, junior or younger colleague] can believe that without any hesitation. So, teach me a little.”

Jun-sung said that and sighed deeply. He still couldn’t give Ye-eun unlimited trust, and in the end, he was distrusting him, even though he guessed that Ye-eun would be right.

So Jun-sung was looking at Ji Dong-hwa’s face and asking earnestly.

* * *

I was struggling to hold back the expression on my face, which looked like it was rotting away because I was so dumbfounded.

‘What is it, not Cassandra.’

In the first place, it is normal for a rational human being to have a negative reaction when hearing a prophecy with insufficient evidence. Moreover, debut is a very sensitive issue as the first goal for a trainee. Therefore, it is reasonable to see him as angry at Ye-eun for speaking without any basis.

Furthermore, I didn’t even feel that negative when I heard Ye-eun’s words, so isn’t it a hasty generalization?

…To say that, I’m making a hasty generalization right now. Jun-sung has much more empirical data, and I may be the only one who doesn’t have a negative reaction. Cancel.

I briefly stated my opinion.

“I don’t know.”

Originally, humans naturally know less than they know.

“Right? I’m curious about that too, I’m going crazy, really.”

“…Can’t you just believe it?”

“Uh. I can’t. I just feel a physiological aversion.”

I really don’t know about this. It’s an area I can’t understand at all. It’s a sensation I haven’t experienced myself, so indirect experience is not enough.

“So, let me see and learn.”

“What……”

“How to trust others.”

“…It’s not about believing, it’s about *ttajida* [따지다, to analyze, to inquire closely]. Whether there is a basis for those words, or whether they have enough experience to say such things. It’s just about *ttajida* focusing on logos and ethos among the three elements of persuasion that Aristotle talked about.”

Logos and ethos, that is, logic and character, it is quite natural and intuitive to gauge whether the other person’s words are reasonable with these two elements. It is also something that you learn on your own rather than being taught by someone.

And there is also a near-certain guess that Jun-sung didn’t have this situation because he ‘couldn’t trust others’. Wouldn’t it be reasonable to see that Ye-eun has the solution?

Jun-sung seemed to be *chakjaphaejin* [착잡해진, feeling complicated or heavy-hearted] after hearing my explanation.

“…I know too. I know.”

Ha, a deep sigh.

“I want to grab at straws. I don’t think I can change Ye-eun.”

* * *

Even while talking to Ji Dong-hwa, countless voices were *tteoolla* [떠올라, rising up] in Jun-sung’s head from his memory and *bakhida* [박히다, being etched or embedded] sharply.

‘Say one more word. I really will.’

‘Is he saying such empty words in this situation? It’s unpleasant.’

After the debut song flopped, when he heard him say with conviction, ‘We’ll do well,’ the members took it as an unpleasant empty word rather than the youngest member’s *aegyo*-filled [애교, acting cute or charming] support. Jun-sung alone didn’t say anything, but his heart was the same as theirs.

Ye-eun didn’t even cry as if he was used to it. Just a calm, yet somewhat depressed expression, still remained a strong impression on Jun-sung.

The emotional line that strongly binds Ye-eun and himself now is guilt. A sense of atonement that he wants to understand him, even if it’s just himself among the members who still find Ye-eun difficult. Self-reproach for not being able to trust his kind younger brother.

Ji Dong-hwa *damatta* [담았다, captured or held] Jun-sung’s *goeroowohaneun* [괴로워하는, agonizing or suffering] face in his eyes. Then he slowly opened his mouth.

“…I’ve received a lot from *seonbae-nim* too, so I want to help you with something, but.”

Ji Dong-hwa’s voice sounded heavy, unlike usual.

“I can’t become a quack *dolpari yakjangsu* [돌팔이 약장수, a fraudulent medicine peddler] on *seonbae-nim*’s important issue.”

“Ha… that’s right.”

Jun-sung *sseureotta* [쓸었다, swept or rubbed] his masked face here and there with a *makmakhan* [막막한, bleak or hopeless] mind.

“It’s almost *jaegyeoyak* [재계약, contract renewal] season, us.”

And then a sigh.

“…I want Ye-eun to stay. The other members too, and.”

Because he is a great leader, a person who can try to understand the gap between the two. And, because he is the only member who understands Ye-eun’s *sangcheo* [상처, wound or scar] to some extent.

As such, when a moment of silence flowed, Lee Hyun-jae was seen running from over there.

“Haa, it’s getting a little *anjeong* [안정, stable] now.”

Lee Hyun-jae, who ran over, sat down on the chair next to Ji Dong-hwa and sighed.

“Almost, Dong-hwa *ssi*’s [씨, a polite title] side is a *bogeumjari* [보금자리, a cozy nest or safe place]. It’s unexpected.”

Ye-eun, who followed, shook his head *jeolrejeolre* [절레절레, shaking one’s head from side to side]. Jun-sung *heumchit* [흠칫, flinched] at those words, but stayed still. Because he was the only one who knew what the word ‘unexpected’ meant to Ye-eun.

“Ah, that’s right. Dong-hwa *ssi*, yesterday, ah, it looks like it’s going to rain tomorrow.”

Ye-eun said in a *hwaksine chan* [확신에 찬, confident] tone.

“Hey, what rain when the weather is so clear like this.”

Ryu Iden, who was walking from behind Ye-eun, said *hesilgeorimyeo* [헤실거리며, grinning]. Ji Dong-hwa *jjipureotta* [찌푸렸다, frowned] his *migan* [미간, brow] when he saw that. He turned his head towards Jun-sung and asked *joyonghi* [조용히, quietly] in lip shape, ‘Is this it’. Even Jun-sung right now felt like it wouldn’t rain tomorrow.

“…Iden hyung, how about checking the *ilgiyebo* [일기예보, weather forecast].”

Ryu Iden, who tapped his phone a few times *toktok* [톡톡, tapping sound], showed everyone the screen that said 30% chance of rain.

“Well, if it’s 30%, won’t it not come?”

“…Amazing.”

Jun-sung *eokkaedongmu* [어깨동무, put his arm around] to Ye-eun, *barabomyeo* [바라보며, looking at] Ji Dong-hwa who *jungeolgeorin joyonghi* [중얼거린 조용히, muttered quietly] and closed his eyes and raised his head towards the sky.

“I’ll *chaenggilge* [챙길게, take care of/pack] an umbrella.”

*Gyeokryeolhage* [격렬하게, fiercely], he didn’t want to, but Jun-sung *kuyeok kuyeok nulleodaemyeonseo* [꾸역꾸역 눌러대면서, suppressing with effort] the *geobubaneung* [거부반응, rejection] that came up like an *alleoji* [알러지, allergy] and *geonneatta* [건넸다, offered] the words.

“…*Gomaul geoya* [고마울 거야, I’d be grateful].”

Ye-eun was just *useul ppun* [웃을 뿐, just smiling] with a *gamdongbadeun* [감동받은, touched or moved] face as always.