Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 15

15.

“Did you hear? Donghwa and Hamin, your stage is being pre-released,” Ryoo Iden said as I returned to the dorm after giving up on my pathetic state in the studio.

“Yes… Really?” I answered in jondae [formal Korean], then quickly corrected myself, remembering that we had agreed to drop honorifics. “Wow, our Donghwa is dropping honorifics with me. I’m honored.”

*If I had known you liked being spoken to informally this much, I would have dropped honorifics from the first meeting.*

“…Iden hyung [older brother/male friend], the murder plan is still in progress.”

“Unfortunately for you, that doesn’t scare me very much.”

It’s frustrating, but I’m not confident I can win physically, so I should ask the question I was thinking about in the studio. “…Iden hyung, why did you decide to become a singer?”

At that, Ryoo Iden was slightly taken aback and then spaced out for a moment. “…Why do you ask?”

*Well, this is awkward. I have to mix truth and lies.*

“I forgot why I decided to become a trainee because of amnesia.”

“Amnesia…?” Ryoo Iden was surprised for a moment, then nodded as if he understood. *My explanation that I would understand myself through others didn’t sound that strange, apparently.*

“Well, first of all, I started my trainee life 10 years ago.”

*10 years? Crazy. Lee Hyunjae said 9 years. Is that common in the idol scene?*

“So… I started my trainee life when I was eleven? It was kind of a vague dream at first. I liked dancing, and the singers on TV looked cool. Well, yeah… it was because of admiration, at first.”

*At first?*

“What about now?”

“Now… it feels close to obsession? Well, it’s a dream I’ve invested 10 years in. I feel like my value depends on debuting.”

*That’s not a very healthy self-perception. The value of existence isn’t determined by that.*

“Only two teams have debuted from this company in the last 10 years. I even made it to the debut team once, but I fell off. Then… I turned twenty-one. Now I’m the oldest hyung, so I’ve solved some of the bullying problems among the kids.”

As he said that, Ryoo Iden seemed to be staring into space and sinking deeper into himself. “I sometimes wish I had realized a little earlier that there are things in the world that can’t be done with effort alone.”

*So Ryoo Iden is thinking that the past 10 years only have meaning if they lead to the result of debuting.*

I organized my thoughts for a moment and then answered. “…At least, I won’t let you feel unhappy.”

*Even if you don’t debut, at the very least.*

After hearing my words, Ryoo Iden was momentarily taken aback, then smiled and asked how I knew that. I looked at Ryoo Iden and shook my head, answering. “…I don’t say things like that easily.”

*There’s a reason. It’s burdensome, but I think I came here to make it that way.*

Then Chae Hamin comes into the room and breaks the silence that had been flowing for a while. Chae Hamin smiles at us looking at him and raises one hand. “I bought something to eat!”

*I’m uneasy. Please don’t let it be that disgusting mushroom pork cutlet again.*

“Oh, Hamin-ah [term of endearment], what did you buy?” Don’t say it so happily. *Ah, Ryoo Iden doesn’t know about his weird taste.*

“Wiener Schnitzel!”

“……!”

*Why did you come only now, Hamin-ah.*

But where did he even get this… “…Where did you buy it?”

“The place I went to with you before!”

“…They don’t do takeout there, do they?”

“Ah, really? I asked my mom to buy it… How did she buy it?”

*’Capitalism strikes again.’ Empirical evidence has been added to the fact that many problems in life can be solved with money.*

“Oh, Wiener Schnitzel. I wanted to try it after seeing Donghwa’s stage. You looked so happy when you bit the microphone before the chorus main beat came out.”

*Of course, I would look like that. Just thinking about it makes me happy because it’s Wiener Schnitzel.*

I got up from the bed I was sitting on. “Let’s go eat right away.”

“Donghwa, you sometimes burn with passion in strange places, don’t you?”

“Right, hyung? He becomes talkative only when Wiener Schnitzel comes out, right?”

Everyone be quiet, the schnitzel is getting cold.

“But Hamin, why did you suddenly buy Wiener Schnitzel?”

“Well, my grandma told me to buy it.”

…Please say something that others can understand, Hamin. “…I see.”

* * *

“Hehehe, heohong, hehahaha.” Team Leader Jang Haejin laughed like crazy. The reaction to the pre-release video was good. *We might be able to debut much more successfully than planned.*

*Of course… the 5 members are a pity, but.*

Suddenly feeling depressed, she felt a little dizzy, but shook her head, thinking there was nothing she could do.

She picked up her phone and checked the community and SNS reactions. Gradually, stories about the pre-release video began to appear, and occasionally, reviews of the first audience stage began to appear as well.

[Did you see The Next Ni pre-release video?]

(Chae Hamin Stage Pre-release Video)

When The Next Ni appeared on SNS, I cursed, saying, ‘Another survival show?’ but after seeing Chae Hamin, I realized the advantages of survival shows. You rabbit bastard… How dare you trespass into my life like this… You seductive guy.

Comments

―Damn… Hamin-ah… Ha… Really… Was the past I spent squeezing out behind-the-scenes cuts after the introduction video for the sake of seeing this video…

―Ah, look here, judge, that rabbit bastard seduced me first, you know? He looked straight at me and swept back his hair first.

―Judge: Honestly, I was also tempted after seeing it.

―Ugh, so cheesy, cringe

―Go take care of your baby~ This is a rabbit farm here~

―Farm…? I held it back until the end of my throat… I’m quite patient.

―Reported~ (Reason: Pervert)

―Hamin-ah… I thought you were mild, but you were mala tang [spicy and numbing Chinese soup]… How did you know I was addicted to mala tang?

[Is Ji Donghwa’s self-composed song real?]

(Ji Donghwa ‘Wiener Schnitzel’ Stage Video)

Don’t you know what the lyrics mean? Shut up and listen. A Korea University student wrote the lyrics.

Comments

―?????? Ji Donghwa was from Korea University?

―Yeah, it came out in this stage behind-the-scenes pre-release (Behind-the-scenes video link)

―Oh, composition major?

―Philosophy major

―???????????????? No, why

―I wonder why… Donghwa-ya… I’m about to feel pathetic…

―I feel comfortable thinking of it as just a pop song and look forward to the official release…

―22222

―No, so what does Wiener Schnitzel taste like lololol Why does Ji Donghwa look so happy when he talks about Wiener Schnitzel lololol

[I asked a philosophy major about the stage with lyrics I don’t know from The Next Ni]

Me: Hey, look at this

Friend: (Watching)

Me: What do the lyrics mean? You’re a philosophy major

Friend: I’m only a freshman in college, you bastard

Comments

―lololololololol Lyrics that even a philosophy student doesn’t know lololololololol

―Donghwa-ya… What kind of studies have you been doing?

―I asked a graduate student majoring in Nietzsche: I didn’t know Nietzsche’s theory could be conveyed so easily and fun (Smiling brightly)

―The standard of easy is too low, teacher

―So what does it mean?

―chgph

―The result of translating all the nonsense from the interpretation I heard into everyday language is that it means ‘I will enjoy this moment on stage and live vigorously’ lololololololololol

―Donghwa-ya lololololololololololol Why this easy thing lololololololololololol

―Korea University is… different…

[Points to appreciate about Ji Donghwa from The Next Ni]

1. Cold impression of a wounded stray cat

2. But when he smiles, he feels like the warmest philosophy senior

3. But he’s a nerd who only knows how to study

4. Damn, but why is he so good on stage? (Let’s leave the songwriting to someone else!)

(Meme of Ji Donghwa biting the microphone with Wiener Schnitzel photoshopped in)

Comments

―I remembered… Student Council President Donghwa… Was my first love…? I brought the Basics of Mathematics and asked him to teach me……

―Why did a kid who could succeed as a regular person come out on a survival show and take away the debut opportunities of other kids

―Go away~

―Don’t be an attention seeker~

―The kid you’re stanning didn’t come out of Korea University~ Too bad~

‘Hot! It’s hot!’ Jang Haejin cheers at the overheated community atmosphere. *It would be a problem if this atmosphere gets too intense, but it’s a good sign for now.*

* * *

After a short break, the ten trainees, including me, who had gathered in the practice room, heard the schedule announcement from Jang Haejin. “As you all know, the first elimination will occur tomorrow. It will be edited and broadcast in 4 days. As you all know, the scores are calculated as 20% judge scores from the 1st and 2nd performances, 40% individual video views, and 40% audience votes from the 2nd performance, and the bottom two will be kicked out.”

*Hmm, I don’t know anymore. Whatever will be, will be. If I debut, I debut, and if I don’t, I don’t. I used to think about running away, but… I decided to do my best from the start, so I can’t blame anyone.*

…No, I always had the right to blame Gisaeng [the one who put him in this situation]. *I hope everything you do goes wrong, you damn Gisaeng.*

[Warning! Harm will come to Ji Donghwa if things don’t go right.]

*That doesn’t mean I’m going to change my mind.*

Anyway, two people are being eliminated. I wonder who will be eliminated.

Lee Hyunjae grabs me as I try to slip out after hearing the general announcement. “Hyung, wait, can we talk for a second?”

*He always suddenly asks for a conversation.*

“…I have the studio reserved today.”

“Hyung seems to live in the studio all the time.”

*Songwriting is as fun as reading, so I’m doing it as a hobby. Please don’t look at me like I’m a workaholic.*

* * *

We entered the studio, and as always, Lee Hyunjae sat on the sofa, and I sat in the chair in front of the computer, and we began to enjoy the silence for a while. When he comes to me for counseling, he always lets some time pass like this at first.

Then Lee Hyunjae breaks the silence first. “Hyung.”

I look at Lee Hyunjae. “My parents are sending me to study abroad.”

*Hmm, the matter is more serious than expected. Is it okay to take someone like me as a counselor?*

“What should I do? I… what should I really do?”

“…Do you know why they’re sending you to study abroad?”

“I told you before, right? My parents are professors, both of them.”

“Yeah.”

“So, I guess they have a strong passion for education…….”

*No, are there parents who make their children give up their life goals for their own benefit? That’s an atrocity I can’t even imagine. Those people actually allowed him to be a trainee.*

“Originally, the condition for being a trainee was not to fall below 40th place in the school rankings.”

“…Yeah.”

“But I had such a hard time last semester that I got 63rd place… They said that even if I’m a trainee in Korea, I won’t be able to concentrate on studying properly…….”

…They’re much more rational and logical than expected. It’s excessive in terms of asking for responsibility for mistakes, but it’s not an evil method.

*In this case, simply rebelling like Chae Hamin will only backfire. Professors usually don’t accept any rebuttals without logical explanations.*

“…Where are they sending you to study abroad?”

At my question, Lee Hyunjae briefly made a face that said, ‘Why is that important?’ but he answered diligently. “America.”

*Ha, really. Maybe Lee Hyunjae was also a quest target. You fox, you showed up taking advantage of the time when I might solve your problem.*

I thought about several options for a moment and opened my mouth. “…Give me just three hours.”

“…Yes?”

“I’ll write a report on the expected problems of studying abroad in the United States, the benefits of being educated in Korea, and the relationship between the self-satisfaction and academic achievement gained from continuing trainee life.”

Lee Hyunjae made that ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ face again, but he soon nodded, realizing that there were no other options.

* * *

Three hours later, I finished writing a 20-page report, not understanding why I was going through this trouble for Lee Hyunjae.

Two reference books, twelve papers, filled with frequently cited papers, and I made sure to include footnotes and check for logical errors. I’m done.

*Thanks to reading a lot of books in the fields of education and psychology in my previous life, it was easier than expected.*

Of course, my head is throbbing and aching because I used my rational abilities to the fullest in a long time.

After sending the file to Lee Hyunjae, who came to me three hours later as promised, I said. “Tell your parents to read this report.”

“…Yes?”

“Then your parents will ask who wrote this.”

*I mean, who wouldn’t be curious about who wrote a 20-page logical and empirical article to tell their son to continue being a trainee.*

“…Yes.”

“Then say that I’m a fellow trainee, and I promised to tutor you if we debut together this time. I’m confident I can pull you up to the top 10.”

*This is the most important part.*

“…Yes?”

“Also, add that I got a perfect score on the college entrance exam. And that I graduated at the top of my class.”

“…Yes?! Is that true, hyung?”

Gisaeng, you made sure to synchronize properly, right?

[That’s right.]

“Yeah, should I send you a copy of my transcript?”

“Hyung is… No, why… Why to me again…….”

Lee Hyunjae stuttered, spitting out one word at a time, as if he was dumbfounded, and then looked at me with an emotion somewhere between fear and awe.

*Ha, this is half because of Chae Hamin. Chae Hamin cried so much, how much loss would he feel if he was deprived of his dream without being properly evaluated for his 9 years of trainee life. Originally, I would have left it alone as someone else’s business, but he’s emotionally closer to me than others.*

…His age is similar to that child.

* * *

That night, at an ambiguous time too early to go to bed, Lee Hyunjae came to the 3-person room and shouted. “Hyung! My parents canceled the study abroad thing!”

*It worked. This strategy was the right one after all. It was a bit of a gamble, but there was no other way, so let’s focus on the fact that it was successful for now.*

“They want me to come to dinner sometime. When is a good time, Donghwa hyung?”

…Damn it, I didn’t expect that.