Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 173

173.

“Dong-hwa, are you having a hard time?”

You’re making it hard for me; please just leave.

Ye-eun and Jun-seong came to the showcase hall, bowing ninety degrees and handing me coffee. Seriously, don’t you guys have schedules?

“Of course, we have schedules!”

Don’t read my expression. It’s not like anything is visible right now; what kind of future prediction are you doing?

“But! Dong-hwa is making a comeback! We have to come to hand out drinks!”

Wouldn’t just sending drinks be a good idea?

“Show some respect, please.”

Don’t you know the saying to look at the world lowly [to be humble]? That’s not what I mean, but please lower your tone, or I might get angry.

“Dong-hwa, how can I do that!”

If you can’t control your words, what happens to my efforts?

“These days, I think two or three times before speaking. Every morning, I wake up and think about what to do first. It’s really amazing, right? Originally, I just mumbled whatever I remembered… it didn’t mean anything, but it’s amazing.”

Ah, okay.

“But how can I just say thank you and be done with it? So, I have to repay you that much, right?”

Ye-eun rummaged through her crossbody bag and handed me a bundle of paper.

“What is this?”

“I wish I had as good a memory as you… unfortunately, I don’t.”

Ah.

“…Future information?”

“Ah, I wish I knew some stock information that would skyrocket… too bad.”

Ye-eun said that and laughed.

“Anyway, I’ve written down a lot of big events. Later, when you see them, just know that the human named Ye-eun didn’t just freeload off all that help.”

Then, Ye-eun trotted away towards other people, and Jun-seong was smiling happily as he watched her. I don’t understand any of it.

Baseborn.

[If you call me like a servant, my heart will hurt a lot.]

It was a mistake; I shouldn’t take everything for granted. Sorry, my beloved Gi-saeng [female entertainer].

[The dog next to you seems wrong! It doesn’t make me feel good at all.]

Oh dear. Sorry. Anyway, I wonder if I can ask if Ye-eun is free now, or if it’s temporary.

[You can’t reassign Ye-eun! Not renewing the prophecy was an important turning point in her life! She has to wallow in loneliness, give up, and become a ‘whatever will be, will be’ state.]

Goodness, how vicious. What do you guys think humans are?

[So, I took revenge for you! And now, it’s a world completely managed by me! Even if you can’t undo what’s already been decided, pretending it’s decided is easy.]

……Um, that makes me worry about the future of our world in its own way. It feels like watching a child smiling purely while tearing apart a bug.

I sat down without saying anything and carefully scanned the paper Ye-eun gave me. I need to memorize it all now and get rid of it. I have to be careful not to show this to anyone else.

* * *

“Dong-hwa…….”

Chae Ha-min, who was wearing a short shirt and momentarily relaxed, sitting limply in his chair, stopped talking when he tried to call Ji Dong-hwa.

Dong-hwa has been like this lately. There are times when he exudes an aura that says no one should approach him.

“Ah, is he in that state?”

Ryu I-deun put his head on Chae Ha-min’s shoulder and spoke.

“Yeah. It’s all because hyung [older brother/male friend] bought him knitting stuff.”

“Ugh, am I a pushover to you two?”

“Of course! Dong-hwa has been falling into that state more often lately. He’s been buying knitting books and putting eye shapes on gloves.”

“Hahaha, he’s really something. I didn’t know he’d like it this much.”

“…It’s not bad! But I can’t talk to him when he’s in his room! He’s always in that state.”

The ‘state’ that the members defined meant that Ji Dong-hwa was exerting intense concentration. An atmosphere where you shouldn’t break his concentration, like watching someone building dominoes one by one. You can’t touch him because it feels like something will collapse if you poke him.

“What about it? You can come to our room. Or Hyun-jae’s room.”

“If I go into hyung’s room, I get Wizney education, and Hyun-jae is focused on studying these days…….”

“Yeah, Hyun-jae’s college entrance exam is right around the corner, right?”

With two hours left until the showcase, maybe because we’ve built up some experience, we can now exchange these kinds of joking conversations.

“This comeback was also scheduled like this because Dong-hwa said he would work hard so we could have a break before the college entrance exam…. Dong-hwa is really amazing.”

And surprisingly, Ji Dong-hwa was just looking at the thick bundle of paper even in this situation. I guess he can’t hear us; he’s so focused. He used to brew ginseng tea and share it with us, but now he has the best concentration.

So, Chae Ha-min took out the honey ginseng tea that his father had given him. His father said he asked an acquaintance who is a Simmani [ginseng digger] to buy it, so it will probably relieve tension and be good for his health!

Chae Ha-min carefully poured a cup for each member and returned to his original seat next to Ji Dong-hwa.

His posture hasn’t changed, his expression hasn’t changed; the only thing that has changed is the number of pages. Chae Ha-min wondered what to do, then very quietly placed the glass on the table in front of Ji Dong-hwa and wrote ‘Enjoy!’ on a post-it note.

And the backstage camera that came to film it so he wouldn’t forget.

“Ah, I’m giving the members gifts! Honey ginseng tea.”

The staff member holding the camera turned the camera towards Ji Dong-hwa. Ah, he won’t be able to see that.

Chae Ha-min carefully poked Ji Dong-hwa’s thigh with two fingers.

Ji Dong-hwa slowly closed and opened his eyes as if waking up from a long fantasy, then turned his head towards Chae Ha-min.

“What’s wrong, Ha-min?”

“This! The ginseng tea I bought!”

Chae Ha-min quickly picked up the well-placed glass and handed it to Ji Dong-hwa, who smiled after quickly rolling his eyes to grasp the situation without saying a word.

“It reminds me of the old days.”

He took a sip and then widened his eyes as if surprised, then slowly drank it again. He seemed to be impressed by the honey in it. I could see that he doesn’t like things that are too sweet, but he loves things that are moderately sweet.

Ah, I’m healed. It was worth buying the honey with my allowance.

* * *

What is life, and what do humans live for?

Ji Dong-hwa’s fan shed tears. Yeah, dog-like life. Shitty life! Life is Blossoms, and humans live by Ji Dong-hwa, but why wasn’t life allowed for her?

The semester had started not long ago. That didn’t matter. After all, grades don’t determine everything. But failing to get into the showcase only brings about hellish anger.

“……What sin did I commit in my past life?”

Not even failing to get tickets to a solo concert, but failing to get into a showcase? How long has she been an idol fan; what kind of shame is this?

She gave up everything and sat in front of her laptop. She wanted to receive news in real-time through SNS [Social Networking Services], and at least watch fancams [fan-recorded videos] quickly.

―Are you happy?

She smiled as she sent a DM [direct message] to Chae Ha-min’s fan. She realizes that when anger reaches its peak, a hollow laugh comes out rather than tears.

―hahahahahahahaha Life is Blossoms, and life is living with Chae Ha-min.

‘Damn it, you stole the catchphrase I made!’

Originally, it was a word she used when she was showing off. Hehehe, yeah, this must all be karma. It’s no coincidence that classical novels have such an ending structure; that’s it.

She gave up everything and vented her anger by typing while writing a summary of the lecture on understanding classical novels until posts piled up on SNS. And after quite a long time, she picked up her phone.

―Chae Ha-min half cropped tee

Oh my gosh, wait a minute. She accidentally dropped her phone. Since the concept is shared, what is the probability that Ji Dong-hwa will wear similar clothes?

In fact, she knew that the pre-released concept photo used warm colors overall and exuded a romantic atmosphere. In fact, Ryu I-deun’s concept photo had an atmosphere as if he was sighing in a bathtub.

So, could it be the moment to discover the secret of Ji Dong-hwa, a conservative talent? No, Ji Dong-hwa, cover up. You have to cover up! Ji Dong-hwa must cover up as much as a cold college senior concept suits him. If you can’t understand, you’re at least ignorant of Blossoms.

And a field concept film was uploaded for fans who couldn’t come to the scene. She hurriedly clicked on the video.

Come to think of it, she hasn’t been doing world-building for a while. If you look at the rough interpretation, it feels like Lee Hyun-jae is the culprit. The ‘Heung’ film had an atmosphere that Lee Hyun-jae had rice cakes [something good]. What is Lee Hyun-jae that he met the members in the same space in the past?

That thought suddenly flashed through her mind, and she focused on the video in front of her. Lee Hyun-jae, sitting alone in a house, unlike last time. He is wearing very aristocratic clothes and is just sitting still in front of a huge table.

With empty eyes, he stared at the empty table and closed his eyes tightly. And when he opened his eyes, the remaining members except for Ji Dong-hwa were sitting at the table, smiling brightly, sharing a meal, and talking.

And Ji Dong-hwa, who came late, came into the room wearing the same aristocratic clothes and sat down in the same way. All the members were smiling, but Ji Dong-hwa was expressionless, and Lee Hyun-jae forced a smile.

When Ji Dong-hwa and Lee Hyun-jae’s eyes met, Lee Hyun-jae’s stiff face was zoomed in.

The camera’s angle slowly moved back. The surrounding appearance that was revealed again, centered on Lee Hyun-jae, was extremely desolate. There was only an empty table and empty chairs.

Rising subtitles. ‘The time waiting for you’ written in elegant handwriting.

Beyond that, Lee Hyun-jae was staring blankly at the ceiling.

‘…Huh? What is that.’

She, who was admiring the quite beautiful video aesthetics, shuddered at the small piece that came into her eyes.

‘Why is someone collapsed there?’

Only one hand was visible, but clearly on the floor.

…No, what is it. Wasn’t our Blossoms extremely hopeful world? I thought it was something healing in its own way. Even if there is something in Lee Hyun-jae, it’s just trauma, and I thought it was a healing thing!

Turns out it was a thriller?

She forgot her original purpose – to check whether Ji Dong-hwa would keep ‘cover up’ – and was just shocked.

Buzz. She quickly checked the notification when she heard her phone vibrate.

―Ji Dong-hwa’s wearing shot.

―(Photo)

Oh my gosh. What is this.

Suspenders. Baker Boy Hat. And a slightly loose shirt. Damn it! To have to see this with this quality! Leaving her eyes, one of the most developed organs in humans, with this kind of photo that is slightly pixelated due to the lighting and has no correction, so it just looks like a bunch of pixels!

Ji Dong-hwa covered up, but she didn’t take care of her mentality. With a blank expression, she suppressed the anger boiling inside.

* * *

Just before going on stage, I took a moment to catch my breath. I should have brought my knitting. Then I would be able to go up a little more comfortably.

“As much as we’ve been busy! Without regrets!”

Ryu I-deun shouted, standing in the center of the members. But even that sound was small compared to the voices trembling with excitement outside the stage.

Ha, I guess actors think that way because they can’t hear things like that.

I smiled at Ryu I-deun, thinking that. I remembered the lesson Ye-eun taught me, that every moment can be precious.

“Wow! Hyun-jae, I’m nervous!”

“Hyung, I’m nervous too, so stop it!”

Chae Ha-min and Lee Hyun-jae, who are having useless conversations, and Seok-jun, who is closing his eyes and recalling the lyrics next to them.

I think I can be grateful for all of this.