Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 200

Mok-hwa frowned as she accepted the donut from Kim Hyun-jin. ‘I shouldn’t be eating this, but the stress is getting to me.’

“Why? How many people do you think would bring snacks like me!”

Jin-han mumbled, taking a bite of a donut.

“…Ah, I have a feeling. We’re going to get scolded by the manager for eating this while Hyun-jin is in the bathroom.”

Mok-hwa nodded and bit into the donut, thinking, ‘I miss Hyung. I wonder if we can’t coordinate our days off somehow.’

‘Since it’s going to happen anyway, might as well enjoy the moment,’ she thought.

“Ah, I’m going to go to the bathroom!”

‘Hearing him say that after everything we just said is so typical,’ I thought, annoyance bubbling up.

* * *

Why were we doing so many different interviews during our break? My mind felt like it was spinning from the hectic work and constant interviews.

“…Dong-hwa, are you okay? You look really tired.”

“I’m okay.”

“There it is again, as soon as you open your mouth, your tongue naturally lies…”

‘What beautiful vocabulary,’ I thought sarcastically.

Chae Ha-min sat next to my bed and started banging his head lightly on the mattress.

“Are you almost done with the work?”

“Almost. We just need to finish the title track…”

“Wow, you’re finally getting a break. Let’s go somewhere with the others when all the work is done, Dong-hwa.”

‘I just want to rest at home,’ the words nearly escaped, but I had a promise with Chae Ha-min, so I swallowed them down.

“What about you and the filming?”

“I’m done today! I can rest until we start making the album.”

“Whew,” I sighed, taking out my laptop.

“Come to think of it, there are four spring-related songs this time.”

Now that I thought about it, Lee Hyun-jae’s solo song would be early spring, Ho-pin’s song and the drama OST would be mid-spring, and our title track would be late spring.

“Hyun-jae was agonizing over writing the lyrics.”

“He wrote all the music, so he’ll do well.”

‘Not everyone from Korea University [a prestigious university in South Korea] is outstanding, but it’s true that there are many outstanding people,’ I mused.

Lee Hyun-jae said that after listening to the song, he imagined a plum blossom sprouting, not ‘branches slowly shedding their shadows.’ A snow plum blossom at that. ‘It’s like he’s showing off that he just finished his senior year of high school, choosing a subject that you’d only see in classical literature,’ I thought.

“It’s his story.”

Chae Ha-min nodded, then buried his face in the bed again with a strange expression.

“…Why?”

He wanted to say something, but he was contemplating whether he should say it or not, and that expression flickered across Chae Ha-min’s face.

“Just, a little, envious.”

Ah.

“I’ll write four songs for you too.”

‘It’s a given. Releasing solo songs for all the members except me has been a dream for a long time,’ I thought.

“Ah, no, it sounds like I’m putting pressure on you. I just didn’t want to lie!”

Chae Ha-min writhed and rolled around. ‘My head is ringing, damn it,’ I thought.

“It’s not pressure.”

I pulled the blanket up and covered myself. I was excited at the thought of getting a good night’s sleep for the first time in a while.

“From the start, it’s a reward.”

With those words, I went to bed on time for the first time after about two days of staying up all night. I don’t remember exactly because I fell asleep, but for the roughly two weeks left, Chae Ha-min was chattering happily, planning how to have fun.

* * *

X-Tube Content Production Planning Department. These days, it’s trendy for celebrities to create their own content. And you have to sign these celebrities when they’re at their lowest point. We need to find someone who is currently at their lowest and only has room to rise.

“Ji Dong-hwa?”

“Yes. I think he’s going to be a big hit.”

“But, I don’t think that guy will talk if he’s alone.”

This kind of content suits noisy and boisterous people, and although it’s clear he’ll rise, I wonder if he’ll get views.

“That person is subtly crazy, you know?”

“…Explain more.”

At the team leader’s request, he handed over a small bundle of papers. It briefly stated the title ‘Ji Dong-hwa’s Mental Lesson Plan.’

“Ji Dong-hwa seems quiet and calm.”

“Yeah.”

The team leader also knew. Since finding people is half the job, he roughly knows the information of the rookies.

“What if we just throw him into bizarre situations?”

“…Do you think that’ll work?”

“There are a lot of noisy videos these days. A peaceful and calm atmosphere, but the situation is somehow bizarre.”

“Disharmony?”

“Yes. From beginning to end. A lump of disharmony.”

“Even if we can’t make it long, it wouldn’t be bad to quickly hit and run [create viral content that quickly gains popularity but doesn’t last].”

“Right? After all, it’s a point of laughter that’s hard to sustain…”

The team leader quickly scanned the paper and nodded.

“…Okay, let’s do it. We needed some content to upload temporarily anyway.”

Their content planning proceeded quickly and efficiently. Because the proposer presented content with a clear beginning, middle, and end from the start, there wasn’t much to add.

And as a result, next week, Ji Dong-hwa would be knitting in the middle of the streets of Hongdae [a vibrant and trendy district in Seoul], listening to classical music, sitting in a rocking chair.

Just to shoot the intro.

‘Why do those people have such animosity towards me?’ No, it’s so clear that they *don’t* have animosity that it’s rather frightening. Like when the innocence of a child causes fear, it’s even scarier because I know they’re holding a knife to my neck without malice.

It was strange from the beginning.

From the first meeting, when they showed me the plan and said that the subtle smile was the key point, that the goal was to make people burst into laughter throughout the video, I thought, ‘these people are up to something.’

I rocked in the rocking chair and closed my eyes for a moment to ignore the gazes pouring in from around me.

“…Is this some kind of performance art?”

No, it’s a variety show shoot.

The title of this program is ‘Mental Lesson.’ It’s a bizarre concept that introduces ways to train your mind to endure in modern society, where things often shake your mental state.

And for this, I, the host and cast member of the show, have the condition that I must maintain composure in any situation. Even if an accident suddenly happens in front of me, I have to act calmly, as if it’s a common occurrence.

Even in the middle of the bustling streets of Hongdae, wearing a soft rug and a three-piece suit, sitting in a rocking chair, enjoying a cup of tea on the table, and knitting with hot pink yarn, I have to act calmly.

And I’m also equipped with a heart rate monitor to check that.

Team Leader Jang Hae-jin recommended the appearance, saying, ‘The filming burden is low, but the editing burden is high, so you can film comfortably, right?’ But my thinking was short-sighted. The filming burden is low, but the mental burden is excessively high.

“PD-nim [PD-nim is a title used to address a producer or director in Korean television and film production],”

“Yes.”

“Conceptually, am I supposed to be teaching?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t think my mental state can handle it.”

“Hahaha, you’re joking. You look like you don’t care at all? I’ll play some classical music now, so let’s start filming.”

I adjusted my tie. I know people’s eyes are fixed on me, but the concept must be maintained.

‘Ha, now I have to sit on that rocking chair on the red rug, with that ridiculous turntable, and the tea set that looks like a specialty of the Victorian era. In this outfit,’ I thought.

I suppressed a deep sigh rising from within. ‘This is work. I have to do this to feed Mok-hwa one more delicious meal,’ I reminded myself.

I put on a straight face, sat in the rocking chair, slowly swayed to the rhythm, and drank tea. The song playing was Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, Winter 1st Movement.

‘Why did they have to pick this song?’ I leisurely enjoyed the aroma of the tea and put it down.

“…Wow, it’s my first time seeing performance art.”

‘It’s not that kind of program. It’s not Ji Dong-hwa’s current affairs education, it’s a strange situation experience,’ I thought.

After the tea, it’s knitting with hot pink yarn. I continued to pile yarn on the hat that was already half done.

“What is that.”

“Oh, inner desires alienated from modern society in hot pink… Since the person is wearing a suit, I guess it symbolizes desires that he deliberately ignored.”

‘It’s not that,’ I thought.

“Dong-hwa-ssi [a polite title used to address someone],”

And as planned, an interview with the PD-nim.

“Yes.”

“How are you feeling right now?”

‘What do you want me to say? I guess my heart rate is probably a little elevated right now,’ I thought.

“I’m happy.”

“Oh, why?”

“…Because it feels like all the people in the world are looking at me.”

The PD-nim pursed his lips and tried not to laugh. The production team has a condition that they must not laugh during the broadcast.

‘Ah, and there’s one more condition attached to me besides the condition that I must always be calm,’ I remembered.

“I now realize that the center of the world is where I stand. If you look at the maps of the Inuit, unlike our maps, the center is not fixed. It’s cylindrical. That probably captures the idea that they are the center of the world.”

‘As far as I know, those scholars don’t exist. Der Mund means moon in German, and Guten Abend is a German greeting. I don’t even know what I’m talking about,’ I thought.

The PD-nim, who quickly started searching online, closed his lips again when there were no search results.

“That’s why I came. To strengthen your minds. From now on, the owner of a mind that will not break at any moment, me, Ji Dong-hwa’s mental lesson, begins.”

I smiled for 3 seconds and held it, then threw the knitting away when I heard the word “cut.” I felt goosebumps all over my body. I covered my face, bowed deeply, and twisted my shoulders.

“Professor, what’s wrong.”

“…Wasn’t that a cut?”

“Professor, weren’t you supposed to be calm in any situation?”

‘Wow, so that’s how you’re coming at me. It’s really petty,’ I thought.

“…Let’s assume that a situation has arisen where you would lose your minds in this way.”

I have no choice but to accept it naturally. In the end, the filming of this program will inevitably be a continuous psychological warfare between the production team and me.

“In that case, I calmly…”

I picked up the black tea.

“You can regain stability with just a cup of black tea.”

‘I want to die, really. I don’t want to say idealistic nonsense like, “I didn’t want to live like this,” but really,’ I thought.

“Welcome to my mental lesson.”