Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 254

It was five in the morning when I stretched.

Ah, a refreshing morning. Today, after staying up all night, feels better than yesterday morning. A sense of peace and stability.

The conclusion I reached after a long conversation with Gisaeng [a personification of his inner thoughts/conscience] while working.

[In the end, what are you worried about? Everyone thinks the same way you do anyway!]

“Right.”

I smiled inwardly as I got up.

‘Same,’ a word I usually don’t like, but today it feels subtly comforting.

I don’t feel burdened. Rather, according to Gisaeng, Lee Hyunjae is thinking even more than I am—I didn’t ask exactly what—so that’s a relief.

[You’re making me sick! It feels like I just drank a bowl of emetic! You’re not just laughing inwardly; it’s all over your face, and it’s ugly to look at.]

Shut up. You should study.

If relating to others is like college, I’m a graduate student, and you’re a test taker, you damn Gisaeng.

Anyway, today, I started working on a solo song for the first time.

I couldn’t even touch it since Lee Hyunjae said that I had to write my solo song to give songs to all the members. 80% of it is thanks to Gisaeng. Gisaeng’s psychological counseling center.

[You’re really making me sick!]

Oh dear, how can the reaction always be the same?

[Don’t you know you’re the same?]

No way, there’s no way I am.

[You admitted it just this morning!]

I ignored Gisaeng.

To not get caught by Chae Hamin and Ryu Ideun, I have to leave now and arrive at the dorm to commit the perfect crime, ah, it’s not a crime.

[Be careful!]

Of what? Since there was no further reply, I grabbed the doorknob without saying anything.

Thud.

Hmm, what is it? I’m not filming a crime show or a therapy session, so why is there a ‘corpse’ in front of the door?

‘…Wait, it’s Chae Hamin.’

Oh my god, it’s quite different if it’s not just a corpse but Chae Hamin’s ‘corpse’.

I calmly knelt down on one knee and checked his pulse first. Hmm, he’s alive. That’s a relief.

Chae Hamin, dyed black from head to toe, even his mask is black. You shouldn’t judge by appearance, but statistically, it’s a typical criminal look.

Did he perhaps notice that I went to the studio and come to kidnap me?

Even when I tapped his shoulder, Chae Hamin didn’t even react, as if he were in a deep sleep. …How can he sleep so well in a place like this?

“Hamin, we have to go to our schedule.”

Schedule, a magic word. Chae Hamin is brainwashed by me, and Seokjun is brainwashed by Ryu Ideun, so they reflexively wake up even when they are sleeping.

Eyes slowly opening. He looked at me blankly, not understanding the situation, then turned his head to look at the hallway and made eye contact with me again.

“…Huh?”

What, you little rabbit.

“Get up.”

“Where is this?”

“Company hallway.”

“…Why?”

I don’t know. I don’t think anyone but you knows why you were sleeping outside, but if I were to guess.

“Maybe, you came to watch someone and fell asleep.”

“…Ah, I guess so.”

“I guess.”

Chae Hamin nodded a few times in agreement with my words, then frowned as if something was strange.

Because his kind impression is distorted, it’s like seeing a delinquent whose best act of rebellion is ‘not answering his parents’.

“…I feel like I forgot something.”

I stood Chae Hamin up, who was muttering.

“Ah, who is Gisaeng, Donghwa!”

“…Hmm.”

He must have come here earlier than I thought.

Judging from the situation, he woke up and followed me as soon as I left the room, but I don’t know how he woke up since he’s a heavy sleeper.

“My friend’s name.”

“Friend?”

He flinched. His already big eyes got even bigger.

“…Friend?”

He asked again.

I think it’s absurd, but it’s not wrong. It’s ridiculous to say that you are friends with yourself, but it can be accepted in literature.

[Are we just friends? I’m disappointed. I’m upset.]

Shut up. Don’t make me throw up.

* * *

Chae Hamin sat in the practice room and thought.

‘There’s… a problem, he said.’

He pretended not to remember the specific details of the conversation in front of Donghwa, but Chae Hamin is not that kind of person.

Because he wrote down all the details of the conversation in his orange diary.

It is a record of madness in which a list of anniversaries is written at length. It is a record of madness in which the memories with all the members are written down one by one.

Among them, there were even trivial things like ‘The first day I watched a movie with Jun.’

But what’s more important now is the conversation record, he flipped through the pages.

‘There’s something wrong with our minds,’ what does this even mean?

Donghwa often says that he’s not in his right mind with a meaning similar to saying ‘I love you,’ but he has never used ‘we’ as the subject.

As Chae Hamin continued to think about what Ji Donghwa would have said, ‘You’re not in your right mind,’ he explored countless possibilities.

“Hyung-nim, what are you doing.”

Seokjun quietly sat next to Chae Hamin.

“Jjun.”

“Yes-”

“Do you know who Gisaeng is?”

Since I can’t say everything, I just threw out the words with the feeling of shouting in a bamboo forest [a Korean idiom for expressing something to someone without revealing yourself].

Seokjun tilted his head at the sudden name of a person and then remembered.

“Ah—, a while ago— Donghwa hyungnim— was saying something about Gisaeng in the bathroom— talking to himself—. Not on the phone, looking at the air—. I thought it was an imaginary friend—. I have one too.”

It’s like a rabbit stepping on a mushroom while walking backwards [another Korean idiom for accidentally getting lucky].

“…Huh?”

Come to think of it, he seemed to have heard of it too.

When, where… The name Gisaeng with the family name Gi is not a name that would be given in modern society.

It feels like there is a fog in my memory. A tickling feeling, like it’s about to come to mind.

“Why—are you doing that, hyungnim?”

Seokjun, the fake crazy one, took a step back, a little frightened by the real madness of Chae Hamin, who was pouting his lips and repeatedly banging his head on the practice room floor.

In fact, Ji Donghwa and Chae Hamin are fiercely competing for the first place in the Blossoms’ madness ranking selected by Ryu Ideun, so it can’t be helped.

“…It’s scary—.”

“Hey, what’s wrong with you.”

Ji Donghwa, a powerful rival, looked down at Chae Hamin with a disapproving expression, holding a water bottle in one hand.

Suddenly banging his forehead on the practice room floor without any warning is an area he cannot understand.

“Donghwa.”

A head that was lifted up quickly. The determined expression that he didn’t feel any pain even though his forehead was swollen stood out.

The eyes of an enlightened sage were embedded in the rabbit, and a mysterious energy flowed out.

“How old are you?”

Seokjun, who is certified by Ji Donghwa as a pure being, frowned for a moment because it sounded like nonsense no matter how he looked at it.

“Hyu, hyungnim?”

‘That’s the kind of line a *kkondae* [a Korean term for an older person who is condescending or acts superior] would say when a young guy is acting up,’ Lee Hyunjae thought to himself from afar.

But Ji Donghwa, who would normally ask if he was in his right mind, subtly raised the corners of his lips and answered.

“Do you remember?”

“Wow, wait a minute, really…, ugh! Me, a little, like! Wow!”

Chae Hamin, who was only pouring out exclamations that were hard to see as human language, screamed and jumped up from his seat and ran towards Ji Donghwa.

He grabbed his shoulders and shook him, making Ji Donghwa stagger like a promotional balloon human. But unlike usual, he had a happy expression on his face.

“…Hyu, hyungnim?”

It’s understandable to be suspicious that he’s gone crazy because the expression that is hard to see often from Ji Donghwa is shown when he is shaken by Chae Hamin.

However, Lee Hyunjae turned his gaze to the tablet without much thought, saying, ‘Yeah, my hyung sometimes goes crazy, that’s right……’

“Donghwa! Donghwa! Ugh, it was hard, cough, ugh! Hyung! Donghwa hyung!”

Chae Hamin remembered all the stories that happened at the drinking party. All of Ji Donghwa’s internal personal history.

He immediately realized how much courage it would have taken to tell him all that. And how empty he must have felt when he saw himself forgetting all of that.

Looking at Chae Hamin, who was sobbing with a tearful voice, Ji Donghwa smiled ‘brightly’ for the first time in his life.

“You’re stupid.”

As soon as he heard Ji Donghwa’s words, Chae Hamin’s sobbing reached its peak and he burst into tears.

Ryu Ideun, who was doing sit-ups, was forcibly fixed in a crunch position and showed off the strength of his core.

Seokjun quietly moved his seat next to Lee Hyunjae.

“Ugh, so! Why am I stupid! It’s annoying!”

“Don’t drink like that in the future.”

“I won’t drink! Ugh!”

Chae Hamin, even with snot running down his face.

The face that was loved by fans thanks to its soft lines was covered in tears.

And as time passed, when Ji Donghwa was thinking, ‘I want to stop sitting,’ Chae Hamin fell backwards as if collapsing. Even that movement looked good thanks to his dancing habits.

“Ah, I wish I could drink as well as Donghwa half as well.”

That’s impossible. Genetics have the biggest impact on determining alcohol tolerance.

It is said that you can improve by drinking, but that means you can drink while ruining your body.

“…Isn’t infinity divided by 2 infinity?”

Ryu Ideun muttered while watching the scene quietly.

“That’s right. Hyung, that’s unexpected. You know that.”

“Hyunjae treats me like an idiot these days.”

“…That’s not true.”

“Donghwa! How can our family be like this! The youngest has no respect for his hyung!”

Habitual teasing of Ji Donghwa.

Ryu Ideun brought up the teasing material that had worked so well until yesterday and reflexively flinched. To prepare for the brick shower that should have been brought down.

But what do you know, Ji Donghwa was quietly squatting next to Chae Hamin and laughing.

“Our family is originally a bit revolutionary.”

Shaking the lying Chae Hamin with a voice that had no impact.

“It’s common to bring down the eldest hyung.”

“…What, Donghwa, what’s wrong with you!”

“What is it.”

“Uh, even yesterday!”

Ji Donghwa dug into the gap in the words and retorted.

“Our hyung lives trapped in the past, what should I do.”

“…Our hyung?”

“Wow, Donghwa hyung, did Ideun hyung threaten you today? How did you come up with such an intimate title……”

Unbelievable, but embarrassing.