Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 261

Ji Dong-hwa leisurely sips his black tea, looking down at the paper in front of him.

Sitting next to him, Lee Hyun-jae wears a truly innocent, boyish expression, staring at the patterns on the ceiling.

“Did you take your medicine?”

“…Yes.”

*Always* the same blank expression, Lee Hyun-jae thought. *He’s so cold.*

“Are the dreams getting better?”

“…It’s not a dream.”

Ji Dong-hwa slowly lifts his gaze from the paper.

“Then, I’ll change the question. Are the delusions getting better?”

A flare of anger momentarily surges within Lee Hyun-jae.

However, the doctor before him is not someone you can reason with.

A rational human being, someone who categorizes everything not deemed ‘normal’ as madness.

Knowing this, the words that come out of Lee Hyun-jae’s mouth are always the same.

“It’s not a delusion either.”

There isn’t an ounce of empathy or pity in his eyes, not even when looking at a patient. Perhaps, to that man, he is nothing more or less than a research subject.

“…If it gets worse, I’ll try something other than medication.”

To that man, the world he sees must all be abnormal.

But *abnormal*… who decides that, anyway? His memories are vivid, clear, and real.

He *was* definitely friends with those three, and friends with the person in front of him now.

Suddenly, a word pops out before Lee Hyun-jae can stop it.

“Hyung [older brother or older male friend, a common Korean term of endearment].”

Ji Dong-hwa flinches as if he heard something he shouldn’t have, his brow furrowing. An expression that clearly reads *it’s madness*. Lee Hyun-jae is hurt by it again today.

Why does he alone have so many memories?

And why does no one, not even once, believe him?

Lee Hyun-jae sometimes wondered about that.

* * *

…That was the content of the VCR. After filming, Lee Hyun-jae seemed drained, slumping down.

I took off my leather gloves. The OK sign hasn’t been given yet, but I hate feeling stuffy, so just for a moment.

Besides, the role is a doctor who doesn’t even know the basic attitude a patient suffering from mental anguish should have, so it’s terribly hard to empathize with.

“Ah, I can’t empathize at all.”

And it seemed Lee Hyun-jae felt the same way.

“Really?”

“Yes, even if he thinks he has some truth that only he knows, why would he bother making a fuss about it and end up hospitalized? If it were a novel, I’d analyze it, understand it, and move on, but acting…….”

I know very well how detached the world of novels Lee Hyun-jae reads is.

I’ve hardly ever seen him empathize with the characters’ emotions when reading books together.

The PD [Production Director] finished monitoring and gave the OK sign.

A total of five takes.

Finally, after several retakes because Lee Hyun-jae failed to empathize and called me ‘hyung’ emotionlessly, or because my face momentarily lost its composure and looked less cold.

What kind of storyline is this album going to follow?

I can see that the PD is putting a lot of effort into the scenes with just the two of us, so I know it’s an important scene, but the fact that I’m a doctor treating Lee Hyun-jae was already revealed in the last album, so that has to be excluded.

Besides, Lee Hyun-jae’s individual cuts last time were filmed with a terrifying feeling as if he was going to kill everyone, but this time he suddenly became such an innocent child.

Then, it’s clear that his madness has worsened in the process of my treatment, so what am I supposed to be? Maybe that’s why this scene is important.

“Hyung must be a bad guy.”

“…I guess so.”

A sigh.

I heard from the company that the story was planned from the beginning, so that means I was the villain from the start.

“It’s strange, though. Hyung suits good roles.”

“Right.”

Unless you have eyes as inaccurate as Ryu Iden, unable to properly see people’s impressions, you can’t mistake a country grandmother for a villain.

“Rather…, um, wouldn’t Ha-min hyung be more suited for a villain?”

Goodness. I’m only now realizing that Lee Hyun-jae’s eyes are on par with Ryu Iden. What an unfortunate thing.

Chae Ha-min has a very kind impression usually, except when he’s on stage.

He glanced at my expression, and a deep dimple appeared.

It had been a while since I saw Lee Hyun-jae smiling so brightly, so I took a moment to observe him closely.

They say that when children grow up, their parents carefully watch their faces every day as they change, trying to imprint them in their minds. I guess it’s true.

“Villains are supposed to be played by people with kind faces, right?”

The warm thought was shattered, and I frowned for a moment.

Lee Hyun-jae can’t be a fool, and he’s clearly subtly dissing me. Unlike Seok-joon.

“…Hyun-jae.”

Lee Hyun-jae immediately jumped up and disappeared.

He immediately ran to Ryu Iden and coaxed him—actually, it was more like ordered him—to go buy coffee since filming was over.

Ha, now that I’m not tutoring him, I have no way to torment him.

* * *

Mirror. I looked in the mirror carefully for the first time in a while.

Since I entrusted 90% of my appearance management to professionals, there was no reason to look at what my own face looked like. For reference, the other 10% is Ryu Iden.

Eyes, look tired due to faint dark circles. However, they are functioning normally without any issues in receiving reflected light.

Nose, faithful to its function, air is flowing through it in real-time.

Mouth, just a mouth. There are no special features, just tightly closed.

Overall face, it’s a person. Biologically, it is, so it’s a definite assessment.

Combining all these elements, I can tell it’s a person, but no other knowledge is contained within.

The conditions of knowledge are debatable, but usually, justification, truth, and belief are required—though there are exceptions.

However, judging something based solely on appearance is neither justified, nor true, and I don’t believe it.

“…I know it’s a human, but.”

Is it really a face that suits *that*?

It’s something I’ve heard since my debut, so even Descartes would say, ‘At this point, it’s probably true without having to doubt it.’

“Dong-hwa, don’t break it.”

At Chae Ha-min’s words, I put down the hand mirror that the stylist gave me as a gift.

For reference, the design is pink, something Wizney Princess, whom Seok-joon likes, would use. It’s a gift, so I can’t throw it away, so I’m using it for now.

“Ah, I wanted to monitor the Detective Agency together!”

“Practice comes first.”

“They’re even releasing your solo song when the Detective Agency ends! I wanted to see the fans’ reactions with Hyun-jae!”

“Still, practice comes first.”

Perhaps it sounded cold, as Chae Ha-min lay down on the practice room floor. No dignity, Ha-min.

“Ah, everything you say is right, so I have nothing to say. I’m wronged.”

In addition to being undignified, he’s also shameless, twisting his body as if sweeping the floor.

“There’s no need to feel wronged.”

“Dong-hwa…, I need empathy…….”

This time, in addition to being shameless, he also seems to have no energy, as his flailing limbs calmly settled down.

“…Empathy is something you can do when you feel the same way.”

Chae Ha-min jumped up from his spot.

Seeing him suddenly rise up as if doing acrobatics while still lying down, it’s quite an impressive leap.

“Ugh! I hate philosophy, really! Dong-hwa, you, let’s drop out [of university]!”

Well, actually, it doesn’t really matter.

A good education isn’t important for being an idol. The university is only useful for the library.

I jokingly threw out a suggestion. Of course, it’s ‘jokingly’ by my standards, so it might look like a serious expression to others.

“Should we?”

“…Huh?”

Just like that guy.

When I’m serious about something said in jest, the reaction doesn’t come out right away.

I quickly stopped the laughter from bursting out. Chae Ha-min already knows that I graduated once, but I didn’t expect him to be so flustered.

“Hyung, what nonsense are you talking about? You have to take responsibility for me until the end since you got me in here.”

Lee Hyun-jae pounded the floor. He was smiling, but he looked like a madman. A face that reminded me of Senior Ye-eon.

“I worked so hard to get in here, I can never drop out until graduation, hyung.”

It’s amazing that a single word can contain so much determination.

“That’s right. Dong-hwa, you’re being so! So! You’re at Korea University [a prestigious university in South Korea]! If you give up so easily! Something terrible will happen to our Dong-hwa later, really!”

No, that Korea University has nothing to do with my career.

I’d rather retake the college entrance exam and re-enter as a composition major…, wait a minute. It might not be bad to become alumni with my mother.

“Hyung, whatever you’re thinking, it’s crazy.”

Based on what grounds are you saying that?

“Hyung, your expression right now is the same as when you’re recording nonsense.”

Oh dear, I must look quite happy.

* * *

If Ji Dong-hwa’s mother were alive, she would complain that he’s starting things just like his dad, and if his father were alive, he would proudly say that he’s living doing what he wants, just like his mom.

The first episode of Detective Agency was being aired to great acclaim.

Before Ji Dong-hwa entered, the other cast members came into the container one by one and lay down.

Lee Kyung-woo, Ryu Han-ho, and Kang Hee, who were already close, lay down comfortably, while Jun-sung alone was clearly on high alert.

—I heard we hired a newbie today.

—Yeah, warn him since he doesn’t know we’re a company that plucks white hairs from grandmothers [exploits people for profit].

—…Aren’t we not even a company in the first place?

—He’s from H University.

—What sin did he commit?

—Jun-sung, did you investigate what kind of person the newbie is?

—Ah, of course. I’m talented at stalking.

—As expected, our only college graduate.

—Having a good education is good, stalking requires brains.

While sharing a short conversation, Jun-sung took out a file.

—Name, Ji Dong-hwa, age, 23. Just graduated from college and was deceived by Kyung-woo’s glib tongue.

—Having a good education is meaningless, social life isn’t helped by academics.

—Isn’t this a production team’s setting error? Our Dong-hwa isn’t like this!

—Stick to the setting!

—You’re supposed to not know who the newbie is!

The caption ‘Idol belonging to the same company as Ji Dong-hwa’ appeared below Jun-sung.

—Anyway, he’s shy, has few friends, and is a typical early career worker who wants to make money. The perfect style to rip off.

—Oh, Jun-sung, your personality is…….

—Han-ho hyung wrote this script.

Quickly transitioning cuts.

In order to properly rip off the youngest, that is, to make him stay here, various schemes are devised.

—Make him feel close and call us all hyung. Like a family-like company management.

—Oh…, you’re the X generation itself, Han-ho hyung.

—Um, can we do this if we have full subtitle support?

Ryu Han-ho smiled and continued.

—Is the X in ‘X 같다 [X gatda]’ mean ‘like X’?

A beep sound, and X fills the spot where the swear word would go.

—Han-ho hyung, you’re crazy.

Kyung-woo, who immediately noticed the comedic intent, laughed and liked it. It’s clear that OTT [Over-The-Top media service] has fewer regulations than public broadcasting.

—Anyway, today the goal is to make Dong-hwa like us no matter what.

And a serious face. Their goal for the day was set.

‘Within the broadcast, make the newbie like us.’ And ‘Outside the broadcast, make the youngest like us.’