Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 27

27.

[Asked a high school classmate of Ji Donghua.]

I heard that our Donghua’s parents passed away when he was young… I keep crying after hearing that… I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for him…

(KakaoTalk conversation photo)

(Ji Donghua’s high school graduation album)

(Ji Donghua’s photo)

Comments

―Went to Korea University without parents, became a trainee, and even composes songs, and is good at it = ???? I’m sad, but I also wonder if Donghwa is even human.

―2222 I’m crying because I’m so proud, then I’m in awe, then I’m touched, then I’m sad, repeating ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

―????????????? Ji Donghwa is an orphan?

―The choice of words is so elegant… ^^ㅣbal

―ㅅㅂ If you have any sense, please don’t use such wording…

―No… is this real…?

―No, wait, I’m really tearing up right now, is it real?

―No, really? Why? Why our Donghwa? What is it, why is the world like this, damn it…

The community’s reaction was mostly sympathetic towards Ji Donghua. Ji Donghua’s fans were on the verge of tears, caught between pride and sorrow for him. Even those who disliked Ji Donghua knew that attacking him for not having parents would only backfire.

Of course, posts like this occasionally surfaced.

[It shows that Ji Donghwa grew up without parents]

(A GIF of Ji Donghwa looking dumbfounded when Chae Hamin makes a silly joke)

(A GIF of him shouting that he’s going to assassinate Ryu Iden)

(A GIF of him giving Kim Hyun-jin the side-eye for not practicing)

You can tell he’s been living well and has no social skills. I like our Donghwa, but I wish he would fix things like this ㅇㅇ

Comments

―Excuse me, but would you please kill yourself?

―ㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋ No, I came here to get angry, but why am I reading this and Ji Donghwa’s *maltu* [manner of speaking] is automatically playing in my head?

―ㄹㅇㅋㅋ Even the anger I had disappears completely because of Donghwa’s thoughts ㅁㅊ ㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋ

―Please, if you don’t like him, just say you don’t like him. Why are you fan-acting? It’s so disgusting.

―ㄱㄴㄲ ㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ ??? : I’m a ○○ fan = Not a fan

[But we should see the timing of Ji Donghwa’s family history being revealed as intentional]

Releasing this a week before the 5th competition live broadcast? It’s more appropriate to see it as the agency pushing Ji Donghwa ㅇㅇ

Comments

―So, can you explain what you’re trying to say?

―Ji Donghwa’s style is amazing, so polite

―There’s a high possibility that making nonsense is a matter of intelligence.

―The agency isn’t stupid, so even if they’re pushing Ji Donghwa, would they push him for growing up without parents? There are so many other things ㅈㄴ

―Polite Ji Donghwa fans should use Ji Donghwa’s style when responding to nonsense.

―Correction) The agency hasn’t had a brain amputation, so keep those words in your mouth.

And Ji Donghwa’s fans, in the sense that they didn’t overreact to these posts, began to respond by imitating Ji Donghwa’s unique polite but cynical tone, and this became known as ‘Ji Donghwa Style,’ establishing itself as a kind of *The Next Ni* fan culture.

However, while Ji Donghwa’s fans were politely taking down thoughtless trolls, a post quietly appeared.

[Sharing a story I heard from Ji Donghwa’s middle school classmate]

1. Ji Donghwa has a younger sibling.

2. That sibling went to the same high school as my friend.

3. ??? : There is no one to contact.

Something… doesn’t make sense…

It was clear that Ji Donghwa came out with the nuance that he had no family, but his sibling is clearly alive…

It’s a bit shocking, so I’m sharing it for now because I’m wondering if it’s just me.

(Middle school alma mater photo)

(Ji Donghwa’s middle school graduation photo)

Comments

(Omitted)

―?

―Why did he say he didn’t have a family when he has one?

―They must have a bad relationship.

―Still, isn’t it a bit much to say he doesn’t have one?

―Please stop stirring up trouble.

―Wow! Your *saekki’s* [term of endearment, but can be derogatory] image making is amazing~

―It’s nothing much…^^

―It’s nice to see you debuting by selling your family~

―Oh! Is it hard to achieve your dreams? Then sell your family! Like ㅈㄷㅎ!

―Pretending he didn’t have a family, he created a sympathetic public opinion right before the final competition, so his debut must have been *joooolla* [extremely] easy? Someone couldn’t do that ‘pretending’ and was eliminated ㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Ah ㅅㅂ I’m so dumbfounded that I can only laugh

―It was suspicious from the beginning that he said he didn’t have a family right before the final competition ㅇㅇ

(Omitted)

This post became a hot topic, and comments rapidly increased, creating a chaotic scene.

In particular, Yoon Seong-ho’s fans, who were officially announced to be eliminated in this episode, harbored unspeakable anger and resentment in their hearts, saying, ‘Our *saekki* was eliminated because of Ji Donghwa.’ Park Woo-jin’s fans already hated seeing others succeed since they had already been eliminated.

For them, this topic that could tarnish Ji Donghwa was the easiest and most fun way to express their anger, so they began to fight Ji Donghwa’s fans with a firepower reminiscent of the Crusades, acting like a hundred people.

Of course, there were countless people on the internet who would curse if it was fun.

At the moment when this story took up a page of the community, and at the moment when it caught the eyes of those who had a moderate interest in *The Next Ni*, to Ji Donghwa, who had never revealed or intended to reveal that he had no family…

A frame began to form: ‘A human who pretended to have no family to create a pitiful image.’

If Ji Donghwa had observed this scene directly, he would have evaluated it as follows.

‘Even unreliable nonsense becomes the truth when more than three people start talking about it.’

* * *

Team Leader Jang Hae-jin felt like her head was about to split open, as if it had been hit by an axe.

‘PD [Producer-Director], no, this Jung Kyung-woo, you son of a bitch… I believed he was a college classmate, but he’s my enemy, you bastard.’

Jang Hae-jin felt like she could chew and swallow the cigarette in her hand.

‘Why did you scratch a well-off kid and create a boil [cause trouble]……? How should I kill him? If you were going to put something so sensitive in the edit, you should have given me some warning, you bastard, really……’

Twenty minutes since entering the smoking room. Now I have to go and call Ji Donghwa and decide on a response direction, but I hesitate to go and call him.

‘According to the family register, there was only Ji Donghwa… the sibling… if they’re dead, I can’t even tell him to explain this……’

Ha, but I have to, she resolved, and put out the last cigarette.

After that, Jang Hae-jin, who went straight to the practice room, found Ji Donghwa making a bored expression between Kim Hyun-jin and Ryu Iden.

“That, trainee Ji Donghwa! Can I have a word with you for a moment……”

Then Ji Donghwa tilted his head once, nodded, carefully peeled off Kim Hyun-jin, who was clinging to him from the side, and walked towards her.

* * *

I followed Jang Hae-jin and sat down in the conference room.

‘The conference room where I saw Ryu Iden’s potential…’

Puzzled by the unexpected choice of location, Jang Hae-jin began to speak.

“First… would you like to take a look at this post?”

“…Yes.”

I received the pad that Jang Hae-jin handed me. It was the community where the Ryu Iden controversy broke out, and the title was… [Summary of Ji Donghwa’s Current Situation]……

I slowly read the post. And the speed of reading the post becomes even slower.

Is this post evidence that I should receive the punishment, that I should receive the sweet punishment for pushing that child away with my own hands?

I carefully put down the pad and answered, trying to maintain my expression.

“…I’ve, read, it.”

Damn it, I cleared my throat once.

Jang Hae-jin is looking at me with surprised eyes.

“Please, give me time to think. Please.”

As soon as Jang Hae-jin nodded, looking flustered, I got up from my seat and headed to the studio. There will never be a time when I need the only space where I can be alone as much as I do now.

The moment I sat down on the studio chair as if lying down, I let out a rough breath.

Now, now I’ve met people who I can call ‘friends’ among ‘others’, but I’m being punished as if it’s not right for me to have made ‘family’ into ‘others’.

I’ve never emotionally relied on anyone in my 29 years of life, and now I’ve just started sharing my affection with Chae Hamin, Ryu Iden, Lee Hyunjae, Seokjun, and Kim Hyun-jin one by one, and I may have been turning a blind eye to the sins I committed because of the satisfaction that the first time gives.

Jang Hae-jin must have called me to ask me to explain.

And if I want to debut, I have to explain that the child was adopted into another family when I was in the third year of middle school.

But, is that the right thing to do?

Just because I want to be happy, do I have to talk about how I pushed that child away with my own hands?

Even though I drove that child into strangers, and that child must have been lonely, is it really… the right thing to do to talk about that child so that I won’t be lonely?

I get up from the chair and bury my head in the desk. And I entrusted my mind to the suppressed memories.

* * *

I, who became a third-year middle school student, am ironing the child’s old school uniform and calculating in my head.

‘I’m short on money. …Physically, I can’t increase my work here any more than this. And there won’t be any more jobs to give me.’

I put the iron down for a moment and let out a deep sigh from within.

At that time, the door of the house opened, and the child came in with wet clothes, as if he had been sweating outside, and shouted.

“Hyung [older brother]! I’m here!”

I quickly tidy up my expression while my younger sibling comes in.

“…Yeah, Mok-hwa. How was the academy [private educational institution]?”

“Yeah, it was really good! I learned so hard!”

I smile back at the child who is smiling brightly.

Yes, I just need to grind myself, there’s no need to show the child reality.

The child just needs to believe that our parents’ inheritance is so abundant that we live without any shortages, then that’s it.

I probably thought so.

“But Hyung, you’ve been coming home too late at night these days. Is something wrong?”

At the child’s worried expression, I picked up the iron again and said.

“…I’m reading books at the library.”

I can’t say that I’m working at a convenience store and then going to see the karaoke desk, so I naturally tell a lie.

That’s how I endured it until one day.

One day, when the customers didn’t like seeing teenagers working, or when I was fired from the place with the best salary because my work was unskilled, so I thought I couldn’t protect the child’s fantasy anymore, on that day when I heard the news that the government subsidy had been reduced once again, one of the people working at the district office grabbed me, gave me a cup of cocoa, and opened his mouth.

“How old is your sibling?”

“…Fourteen years old.”

“…Um, among my acquaintances, after hearing about your situation, there’s someone who said they would adopt even your sibling into their home.”

“…Fourteen years old?”

“Yeah, talk to your sibling about it.”

* * *

I recall up to that point, take a breath, and then cough repeatedly.

“…Let’s quit.”

Let’s quit everything. Let’s admit the fact that I was temporarily intoxicated by the sweet attention that the trainees and fans were giving me and was turning a blind eye to.

I don’t deserve the satisfaction that the cheers of the fans give me, the intoxication of the splendor under the lights, or even watching those who shine with my songs.

I, who destroyed the child’s happiness, shouldn’t be happy, and I, who spoke harshly on purpose to send the child to adoption, shouldn’t hear good words from the fans.

Like in the previous life, I will endure the loneliness without sharing any emotional exchanges with anyone, travel ‘alone’, study ‘alone’, and delve into the truths of the world that may be ‘alone’, and that’s how… living unhappily while doing what I want is the only atonement I can do.

“…When I think about it, I shouldn’t have said anything to Ryu Iden.”

Because I’m the human who made a choice that I’ll regret for the rest of my life.

I asked Gijisaeng [a system AI] with the feeling that I was saying my last words, since the cause of the space-time movement and everything else was useless anyway.

‘Gijisaeng, can I use the 1-time question ticket I received during Ryu Iden’s emergency quest… now?’

[Yes, you can.]

I open my mouth and make a sound. I know it’s a crazy thing to do, an irrational thing to do, but I had no choice but to ask this question.

“What is the most desirable choice I can make in this situation?”

[Please specify whether it is the right thing in the end or the right thing in light of your morals before asking.]

“…The result.”

[You have used a ‘1-time question ticket’!

Answer: W8]

…Explain what that means.

[There are no remaining question tickets.]