Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 270

“And the winner of today’s show is…”

“Blossence!”

The smell of gunpowder tickles my nose, and colorful confetti fills my vision.

Ryu Iden steps forward to receive the trophy and microphone. The other performers around us offer their congratulations. It’s a time of celebration and joy.

I once asked Lee Hyunse how this moment was created.

Our Lee Hyunse, before he became so cynical, spoke gently with an innocent face.

“First place?”

“Yeah.”

“Well… it varies from broadcasting station to station, but basically, it’s made up of digital music popularity, fan votes, album sales, and social media scores.”

“Social media?”

I understand how the others are quantified to some extent, but I can’t figure that one out at all.

“Actually, there’s a lot of debate about that. Whether it’s really a fair standard or not. Anyway, basically, they look at things like the number of views and likes on X-Tube [a fictional video-sharing platform] videos.”

“So, all the elements that make up first place…”

“Yes, the essence is the effort of the fans.”

…We had that conversation in the practice room.

How much debt do we owe? I wondered, holding a piece of confetti in my hand.

Normally, when the same event is repeated, you get used to it, and the emotions you feel at that time become dry, but ever since I heard that story, I’ve felt gratitude rather than joy, and it has always been vivid.

Because, unlike joy, gratitude is an emotion that is hard to dry up.

When the stage lights shine, the area below them darkens, but the colors of the official light sticks shine brightly.

As I take it all in, the leader’s acceptance speech ends before I know it. And by the time the encore stage is over, my eyes are drawn to the sparkling light, and the song ends in an instant.

In the West, light has signified truth, beauty, and goodness from ancient times to the Middle Ages, and the influence remains everywhere.

A typical example is using the sun as a symbol of truth in modern literature or painting glitter on good characters when depicting them in paintings.

So, wouldn’t it have been a really appropriate choice for our fandom name to be Luminous [referring to their fan base name, suggesting a connection to light]?

Therefore, a reward is needed. A reward for those who worked hard to create the glory of first place.

Seokjun and Lee Hyunse went to the cafe, leaving me in the quiet waiting room. I sat quietly on the sofa, deep in thought.

“What are you thinking about, Donghua?”

Chae Hamin asked, handing me water.

“First place pledge.”

“Oh? That’s already…”

“I know. There’s nothing original.”

Ryu Iden interrupted Chae Hamin, looking deeply troubled.

“We’ve already switched parts, worn animal ears, and uploaded different versions of the choreography video! It’s all so predictable! Stories that are predictable are boring as hell! You were bored too, weren’t you, Donghua hyung [an honorific used to address an older brother or male friend]!”

And then, a sudden outburst. He’s really like a crazy person.

“So! We have to make our own new pledge!”

Seeing him act like that, he clearly already has something in mind. Ryu Iden looked up at the sky and declared,

“If we get first place, we’re going skydiving.”

I grabbed him by the collar. It was a reflex.

“Shut up.”

Why are you choosing a suicidal act, you damn dog?

Why do we have to do something that has a chance of killing us as a pledge for getting first place?

Besides, not to brag, but there’s no one else who’s going to get first place besides us. The probability of it happening is 100 percent.

“I already mentioned it to the team leader and the management team leader, and they confirmed it was okay!”

“…What?”

The strength in my hand loosens. Ryu Iden didn’t miss the opportunity and slipped away.

“Haha! I’m a little quick, aren’t I!”

The dog-like bastard is pointing at me, wearing a victorious smile. No, the bastard who’s like a dog.

I sighed and sat down on the sofa. I crossed my legs, trying to find peace of mind, and thought calmly.

Why did that dog-like bastard bring up skydiving?

Most likely, it’s to see me scared.

Because, except for me, none of the members are afraid of extreme sports.

In addition, Ryu Iden is not the kind of person who would proceed with group matters without consulting us.

He never conveys his intentions to the company unless at least four people agree.

“…You’ve all already agreed, haven’t you?”

It’s reasonable to assume that he’s reached an agreement with the other members except for me.

“That’s right! We got everyone’s consent except yours! To avoid breaking the rules we set!”

A terrible sense of betrayal.

A majority vote without consideration for minorities is nothing more than violence in itself.

Since the essential procedure for the majority vote to gain ethical legitimacy has been excluded, there is a serious problem with this group.

“I heard from hyung [older brother/male friend] that he got permission from you too, Donghua.”

Chae Hamin, who was watching carefully, conducted an internal report in a whisper. He’s even lying to his advantage.

“If it’s just a mention, it’s not confirmed then.”

“Yeah, no matter what, we can’t do it without your permission.”

That’s hypocrisy, you damn dog. Your head was already full of thoughts of screwing me over.

“The reason?”

“It’s based on statistics that our fans will like seeing us skydiving!”

Don’t talk about statistics, you’re not Lee Hyunse. I can’t believe you’d trust such inaccurate information.

Just as I was about to snap at him.

“That’s right.”

Thud, Lee Hyunse added, holding an iced Americano in one hand.

Seeing Seokjun behind him holding a cookie frappe and tilting his head, it seems like he hasn’t been back for long, but he’s already grasped the situation.

“I was the one who suggested it first.”

Lee Hyunse finished speaking and sucked on his straw once. He somehow looks annoying.

“Iden hyung [older brother/male friend] was making a fuss about how he would endure all of Donghua hyung’s [older brother/male friend] anger.”

“Hyunse.”

Ryu Iden muttered with a wounded expression. Serves you right, dog.

“I secretly held a vote on the fan cafe last time. Skydiving was the winner.”

“…A vote?”

“Yes. I thought of about ten things and uploaded them, and that was the winner? I guess they wanted to see us playing around for the first time in a while. It’s something to be thankful for.”

I immediately lay down on the sofa. Resignation washed over my heart.

Yeah, it’s not like I hate it enough to die.

I don’t have a serious fear of heights, and it’s not a physiologically impossible area.

If they told me to eat cheese with maggots in it, I would refuse even if it was the fans’ wish, but skydiving isn’t that bad.

Lee Hyunse smiled and looked at Ryu Iden. Ryu Iden was making a crying face.

“From the beginning, I said that if we said it like this, Donghua hyung [older brother/male friend] would be persuaded on his own, right? So why did you even get grabbed by the collar, hyung [older brother/male friend]?”

Lee Hyunse’s jab. Ryu Iden shouted as if he was dying.

“That’s fun!”

You crazy bastard. I wish you would just shut up. No matter how I think about it, there’s a serious flaw in your mind.

“I respect hyung [older brother/male friend], but you periodically provide reasons not to. I’m really grateful, hyung [older brother/male friend].”

“It’s the best part of my life these days!”

Lee Hyunse, who is full of sarcasm, and Ryu Iden, who is still crazy.

I, sitting with their bickering as background music, probably have a face that has given up on everything.

“…I’ve done it in Europe, and it wasn’t that scary, Donghua.”

Hamin, don’t subtly show off your wealth and courage at the same time.

“Haha! Anyway! When Donghua hyung [older brother/male friend] goes skydiving, I have to be on the plane with him no matter what!”

Don’t get excited about something like that.

I have to go do a radio show soon; I don’t know if I can do it with this precarious mental state.

* * *

“As a member of society, there are times when you have to complete things you don’t want to do. But if only duties are always forced upon you, people can’t endure it. I hope this time will be a time to throw away all duties and be free.”

“Hyung [older brother/male friend], the script is different from the script.”

“My escapist delusions are reflected. Skydiving has been confirmed as the first place pledge. Anyway, this broadcast, which has no basis, has started for now.”

“Hyung [older brother/male friend]….”

Don’t look at me with pity, Jun. I’ve accepted everything now.

“Today’s broadcast theme is ‘Memories and the Present.’ We asked you to send in your memories as stories, and many people sent them in this time as well. We will cherish your precious memories.”

“Yes, that’s right. Donghua hyung [older brother/male friend] said that if you believe that skydiving will also be a memory, you can somehow endure it.”

“…When did I say that?”

“If you ever get on a plane and jump from the sky, you will, hyung [older brother/male friend].”

Don’t convey the comfort you’re giving me as if it were my words.

“But we don’t call memories that we want to forget but remain in our brains memories, so that won’t happen. Anyway, thank you. Then, I’ll introduce the first story. Jun.”

“Yes.”

Seokjun smiled and took out the story paper.

“I’m a twenty-six-year-old Luminous [fanbase name] living in Nowon-gu [district in Seoul]. I’ve sent in my story for now! Last week, I received a text message from my first love.”

Hmm.

“‘How are you?’ My heart was restless with the short message.”

This story really doesn’t suit your voice, Jun.

“We were together in our youth, but we broke up because the other person went to study abroad.”

“It’s like a romance novel.”

I don’t really like it, though.

“But the problem is, I currently have another lover.”

Oh, it was a love and war story. I misunderstood.

“I’ve never thought that my current boyfriend is lacking, and I still think I love him, but my heart is restless because of the text messages I’ve been exchanging these days. If it hadn’t been for studying abroad, I keep having strange thoughts. Please give me some sharp words to wake me up!”

Don’t get too involved, Jun.

“Ah, it’s a sad love story.”

“If you asked for sharp words, it means you want us to persuade you not to waver, right?”

Recently, stories with deep content often come to this broadcast. It was definitely focused on light and laughable stories as much as idols were hosting it. How did it become like this?

“I’m not good at giving sharp words, so please, hyung [older brother/male friend].”

Well, Seokjun is a major in warm words.

“First of all, I think I can explain it economically.”

“…Yes?”

“There’s something called the law of diminishing marginal utility. The satisfaction you get from eating the first slice of pizza is different from the satisfaction you get from eating the last slice, right?”

“That’s right! The last piece doesn’t taste good.”

“Like that, the satisfaction of first love is the greatest because it’s the first, but the utility decreases during the next relationship. That’s why I think you keep thinking about your first love.”

“Oh, I don’t know because I don’t have a first love.”

“Your first love is a turtle.”

“Ah.”

“But if you meet again now, you can never get as much utility as you did then. You can’t get back the satisfaction of the first relationship, and you may feel relatively unhappy compared to that time. If you feel that you’re not as happy as you were then, even if you’re doing the same thing, once or twice…”

I paused for a moment. When I’m talking about love stories I don’t even know, I’m trying to fill the area of experience with theory, so my brain is about to hurt.

“Theoretically, you may think that your current boyfriend is better. Especially if he’s a really good person, as you said. Then, economically, it might be a very irrational choice.”

Of course, I don’t know if diminishing marginal utility occurs even when it’s not the same man. Because I have zero dating experience.

However, it’s just a theoretical guess that if it’s a similarly good person, diminishing marginal utility is likely to occur.

“So, I recommend it. I prefer making rational choices a little more. Of course, the choice is up to the person who sent the story.”

* * *

Break time. I sighed deeply.

“…The proportion of heavy stories seems to have increased a bit these days.”

“Maybe it’s because of hyung [older brother/male friend]?”

“…Well.”

That can’t be. I cautiously guess that the world is just getting a little tougher these days.