Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 278

Ryueun always found something strange whenever he thought about Ji Dong-hwa.

It was all thanks to Ji Dong-hwa.

His eyes sometimes moved as if reading something in the air. His face slightly frowned even when he pretended to sleep.

He could observe these behaviors little by little in the dorm, which he never saw outside.

Ji Dong-hwa once said, ‘You’re too soft on your people,’ but Ji Dong-hwa was even more so, if not less.

Because he was completely relaxed in a space where he felt safe.

‘Even if they call us animals, isn’t he the one really living in his territory?’

He wondered how he could be so close to a tiger like Simba, but maybe Ji Dong-hwa was some kind of mystical being.

Maybe Simba was treating him like an elder because he was a tiger who had lived for a thousand years.

Ryueun, who was having ridiculous thoughts, finished packing his things and went outside. The air was cool even though it was a summer night.

It was a campsite, and the air was really amazing. It was a place where the word ‘recuperation’ suited well.

Taking a deep breath, Ryueun concluded.

‘Maybe he sees ghosts.’

Maybe it was a story about using his abilities to the fullest to resolve the resentment of a ghost who couldn’t become an idol, and it turned out to be not bad.

In other words, a ghost named Giji-saeng came and asked him to resolve his resentment, so he did a shamanic ritual as a composer ghost to look into the future a bit, and as he lived diligently, he reunited with his younger sibling, and he liked that his fans cherished him, and he made friends!

…Wasn’t it like a human success story of a shaman?

From that perspective, not only were the various questions about Ji Dong-hwa answered, but it also made sense that he suddenly caused a ruckus with Yaeon.

He must have exorcised the ghost that possessed Yaeon.

In fact, after Ji Dong-hwa’s exorcism, it became much easier to treat Yaeon.

‘That’s complete nonsense.’

Ryueun burst into a hollow laugh.

How could a conclusion reached after three years of deliberation be so crude?

However, Ryueun felt wronged. How could he know if he didn’t tell him?

After worrying alone for three years, even if he knew something strange, he would believe it as if he were hypnotized.

‘Haa, am I getting old? All sorts of things…….’

The reason he didn’t ask about the strange things was because of the complacency that he would tell him someday.

But it was obvious that he had told Chae Ha-min, but there was no sign that he would tell him.

It was upsetting. He wanted to be trusted and relied on as much as he trusted and relied on him, which everyone would want.

He wanted to be someone others could rely on.

He hoped that the other members would do the same, just as he, as the leader, relied on all the members.

So, Ji Dong-hwa was a person of interest to Ryueun. It didn’t matter that he was the most mentally strong. He didn’t say he was having a hard time first.

As he arrived at the campsite, Ryueun plastered on a smile as much as he could.

He heard that cameras were installed from here.

All the production staff left, and it was time for us to relax freely. It was finally a proper vacation.

“Guys, I’m here!”

A large campfire was burning in the center. The fire was beautiful to see at night.

The members were already dividing up the work and moving busily.

“Hyung [older brother or male friend], come quickly. I’m grilling meat.”

Lee Hyun-jae waved his hand cheerfully in front of the barbecue grill, as if he was in a good mood.

Seok-joon, who was next to him, was grinning as he grilled bananas.

Looking at the butter on top, he must be planning to sprinkle sugar or cinnamon powder. I can’t eat that.

On one side, Ji Dong-hwa and Chae Ha-min were washing vegetables.

When Chae Ha-min splashed water on Ji Dong-hwa with his hand, Ji Dong-hwa immediately picked up the hose.

‘Wow, cheating!’ and ‘It’s the power of science,’ were shouted, and water sprayed everywhere.

Even so, seeing that Chae Ha-min barely avoided it, it seemed that he had no intention of hitting him at all.

Ah, it’s fun.

Ryueun felt like all his thoughts were washed away for a moment. If he could have moments like this only once every six months, he felt like he could live hard at any time.

Ryueun closed his eyes and took another breath. He enjoyed the smell of grilling meat and the smell of grass.

“What are you doing, Hyung.”

Ji Dong-hwa was holding a lettuce basket and talking to Ryueun, who was quietly looking at the scenery.

Wow, if a son of a rich family experienced rural life, he would look like this.

“Just, I’m excited just by this scenery.”

Ji Dong-hwa looked at the scenery once, following Ryueun’s gaze.

“Um, nature is beautiful.”

He probably took it in a completely different way than what he wanted to convey.

There must be a basis for that word ‘beautiful’. Ryueun didn’t know well about harmony or proportion or whatever.

“We’re all gathered together at an outdoor campsite. I feel energized all over my body.”

“Then work.”

“If you talk like that, Hyung, I’ll be sad.”

Ryueun planted a ‘Broadcasting Unavailable’ sign on the ground. As if setting up a totem.

Ji Dong-hwa looked at the sign as if asking what it was, and nodded with a ‘Ah…….’ sound, as if he understood what it was for even though he hadn’t explained it yet.

The sign that PD-nim [Production Director] prepared.

It was a sign that could mark ‘This part is a missing scene’ as a leader’s privilege.

He also received confirmation from PD-nim that he would not watch this part and would cut it out.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m always ready to listen, Hyung.”

“…Huh?”

He had a look that said, ‘Why are you saying what I should be saying, Ryueun.’

It’s worth the effort to always try to check whether Ji Dong-hwa is having a hard time or not.

“We’re family, aren’t we?”

“Um, what are you talking about.”

It’s okay even if you see ghosts.

Ryueun thought. It’s the same even if he does his pupils like he’s quickly reading something while pretending to turn his head, like now.

* * *

‘Hey, why is he doing this, Giji-saeng.’

[I think you know?]

Um, I think I know.

“I’m not urging you, I just want you to know.”

Ryueun said with a smile and picked up the sign.

Hanging it on one shoulder and carrying the lettuce basket in my hand, I walked cheerfully.

“Guys! Let’s eat!”

I watched that and headed to the tap to wash the vegetables.

[Just say it. What’s such a big secret.]

Giji-saeng’s words make sense. Actually, when you think about it, it’s not a big deal, is it?

I actually came to your side, nice to meet you, I didn’t dream of becoming an idol, but thanks to you and the fans, I’m having fun, I just hope you don’t suspect me of having a mental illness, that’s all I have to say.

‘…Is there a bigger secret than this, Giji-saeng.’

[If you tell everyone that, you’ll be designated as mentally ill, but it’s okay for the people around you, isn’t it?]

However, the problem is when everything becomes routine.

The story of experiencing the future encourages curiosity about the future.

Now, because it’s wearing the mask of secrecy, Chae Ha-min is deliberately avoiding such topics.

But if that secret permeates everyday life, I think I’ll be a little curious too. You’ll ask if the Riemann hypothesis has been solved, right?

I can’t bring myself to tell the members what the ‘future’ I saw was like.

There’s no option of not saying it. It’s obvious what it means to remain silent when asked that way.

And if I tell a lie, everyone except Seok-joon will notice it right away.

I’m glad that Chae Ha-min hasn’t shown me the eyes that ask, ‘Was I an idol back then too? Maybe a concert too?’ yet.

It’s terrible to see me saying, ‘The person who became your colleague broke your legs, and your father was happy about it.’

It’s even more so to say to Ryueun, ‘I gave up my debut and was living in self-abuse,’ or to Seok-joon, ‘I had bruises all over my body due to bullying in the group.’

Rather than adding several lies or maintaining a terrible silence to hide it, isn’t it better to share that one secret that isn’t so annoying with just one person?

When Chae Ha-min found out about my secret, the reason why the aftertaste was bitter must have been for this reason.

I thought I would feel refreshed if I told everything someday, but it only gets more complicated.

[Um, I know what people mean when they say you live a very complicated life. Study science a little more than philosophy. I’ll show you a world where simplicity is more beautiful than complexity.]

I read Giji-saeng’s writing and carefully washed the last lettuce leaf.

[There’s a simple reason. You don’t want to feel left out. Like when Chae Ha-min said, ‘Ah, you and I had different goals.’ You don’t want that to become public. You’re guessing that it might be okay with just Chae Ha-min, but it would be hard to bear if all the members knew.]

‘Stop, Giji-saeng.’

It’s not polite to uncover the facts that others are trying to hide with complex logic, not at times like this.

[Of course, these reasons are complicated enough. It’s ironic that a happy human feels left out.]

I know. It’s already more than I deserve.

[I always wish you happiness. So do what you want. Whatever you choose, we’ll be happy.]

I smiled.

I put the last lettuce on the basket. As I was washing the lettuce without thinking, I had piled up enough for a cow to eat.

Wow, even vegetarians would be overwhelmed.

I tore at the subtle emotions wriggling in my heart. Emotions are worms that eat away at time that cannot be shown to others.

* * *

When I got to the table, Ryueun asked why I was so late and then picked up his chopsticks. Everyone must have been waiting, I’m sorry.

Everyone is already sitting at the table, um, I feel like I want to see Simba.

“There was a lot of lettuce.”

“…Really?”

Ryueun received the lettuce basket with a ‘Huh?’ expression. It was a tremendous height because I had washed everything that was there.

“Wow, Dong-hwa, how are we going to eat all this.”

Chae Ha-min took one and put it in his mouth, muttering.

If you just eat like that, you might be able to eat it all, Ha-min.

“You can do it if you try hard.”

“That’s what you say in the studio, Hyung.”

I sat down and smiled. Then the meal began in earnest.

Meat and only meat on the table. Really, what is this?

“That’s right. Do you see this sign here? You can say anything without worrying about the camera. I’ll cut it out myself.”

“Really?”

Ryueun immediately picked up the sign.

“Team Leader Jang Hae-jin allowed this deviation. He wrote it in the contract.”

I know how much Ryueun is trusted.

Well, as long as he’s on the same side, there are few people as trustworthy as Ryueun.

“Heavy topics are okay, anything is okay. You can talk about your usual worries. He even said we can fight.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah. If you have any grievances, just say them.”

After saying that much, Ryueun put down the sign.

Then, as if trying to start something, Ryueun opened his mouth while putting pork belly in a lettuce wrap.

“Come to think of it, Mok-hwa texted me, Dong-hwa.”

“…What?”

“He’s asking for help, he’s planning to fight with Hyung.”

He put the lettuce wrap firmly in his mouth.

“What’s going on, really.”

“Is our Mok-hwa going through puberty or something.”

I really don’t know. No matter how I look at it, it seems like he’s trying to joke around.

“But don’t siblings fight often? I heard it’s usually like that.”

When Lee Hyun-jae said that, Seok-joon and Ryueun nodded.

“It’s everyday life. I still fight.”

“Me too─. I fought really hard when I secretly sold my precious game console as used─.”

I laughed in vain. I know that’s normal, but the lives we’ve lived haven’t been so easy.

“We’ve never fought.”

“…Never?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, I’m even more curious. Can I call and ask you about it?”

“Please ask me instead.”

I left a call and text during the break anyway, but he’s not answering.