Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 29

29.

After spending about 30 minutes catching up with my younger sibling—or rather, me asking questions and listening to their answers—I promised to call again when I had time and headed back to the practice room.

“Dong-hwa! Are you okay?”

…There’s an urgent need to legislate against speeding rabbits.

Looking around, all five of them seemed to know what had happened and were worried about me.

“…Did you hear about it?”

“Since hyung [older brother/male friend] wasn’t coming, I was worried, and I thought it might be like Iden hyung, so I looked at the community on hyung’s work laptop…”

Lee Hyun-jae spoke as if he had committed a crime. Well, I guess it feels like he read someone’s family affairs without permission.

“…It’s not your fault for being discouraged, and thanks to you, I have another family, so it’s okay.”

Of course, I still can’t quite accept that the wound I’ve been carrying since I was twenty-nine, the one that wouldn’t heal, is suddenly starting to heal like this.

Why did Ki-ji-saeng do this for me? Why did he make the regret I would have carried for the rest of my life disappear? It’s all a mystery.

But still, sometimes instead of trying to find a reason, I should just be happy with the gift I’ve been given.

Chae Ha-min jumped up and hugged me when he heard my words.

“I was really worried, Dong-hwa!”

Then Ryu Iden hugged me too, as if he was in a good mood, and then everyone else jumped in and hugged me, oh, wait a minute.

My body, suddenly overwhelmed by the weight, slowly began to fall backward.

‘Hmm… if I get hurt, I can’t let Chae Ha-min off the hook. Ruining the stage my sibling is coming to see is something that must be repaid with one’s life.’

Thinking that, I struggled unnecessarily, making sure to tuck my head inside so I wouldn’t sprain anything.

At that moment, Chae Ha-min was startled and put his hands under my neck, and Ryu Iden and Seok-joon quickly grabbed one of my arms each.

And as a result, I stopped just before my back touched the ground, with only my neck and arms floating in the air.

Chae Ha-min was contorted at a strange angle, pulling me up, and the other two were pulling me as if they were in a tug-of-war.

After a silent three seconds in that state, I finally opened my mouth.

“…I appreciate you doing your best, but you don’t have to keep holding on.”

“…Oh, right?”

Ryu Iden was pulling my arm hard, but he let go stupidly, and the other two let go too, so I got up.

I’ll forget the shame for a moment and say what I have to say.

“…Thank you for worrying about me.”

“We’re also thank―ful that Hyungnim [term of endearment for an older brother or male friend]― is okay.”

“If Dong-hwa hyungnim is okay, then that’s all that matters.”

Seok-joon and Ryu Iden said, and the others nodded eagerly.

“…Let’s practice now.”

“Dong-hwa is embarrassed again!”

…Move. My sibling is coming, so we need to practice.

* * *

“…Hyung, how about changing this part of the lyrics like this?”

I look at Lee Hyun-jae’s proposal and read it slowly.

Hmm, well written.

“…Where did you get the idea?”

Then Lee Hyun-jae scratches his cheek as if he’s embarrassed and continues.

“Yesterday, I had a dream that we all debuted together. I know it’s impossible, so I’m embarrassed, but I wanted it to happen, so I wrote it in the lyrics… It’s a little funny, right?”

I stare at Lee Hyun-jae for a moment. Beyond his seemingly calm expression, I can see his hope that no one will be eliminated.

Yeah… of course, it’s impossible.

“…Some dreams are more beautiful because they can’t be achieved.”

Then Lee Hyun-jae tilts his head. He has a look on his face that says, ‘What nonsense is that?’

“…To put it in terms of the lyrics you wrote, the attempt to grasp the horizon is always futile, but that’s what makes the moment beautiful.”

Yes, thinking only about this stage, enjoying this moment when the six of us can be on stage together,

“…So you’re enjoying the present moment.”

When Lee Hyun-jae answers with a faint smile, I nod quietly as always.

“Hyung, please listen to me sing.”

…Okay.

* * *

The night before the performance, I went into the dorm to get an hour of sleep.

And there I see Kim Hyun-jin sitting next to Ryu Iden and crying.

Kim Hyun-jin, unlike his usual energetic self, starts rambling in a tearful voice.

“Hyung, hyung, I’m going to be eliminated, right? Hyung, I really, really don’t want anyone to be eliminated, and I’ve grown attached to the hyungs and Hyun-jae, what should I do, hyung.”

Ryu Iden quietly pats Kim Hyun-jin on the back, and when he calms down to some extent, he opens his mouth.

“Hyun-jin.”

“…Yes.”

“You and I, we might be eliminated.”

Kim Hyun-jin nods, trying hard to hold back his tears, biting his lips as if they’re about to burst.

“But we’ll always run again, right?”

Kim Hyun-jin quietly looks at Ryu Iden. His eyes are filled with deep trust.

“Even if you’re eliminated this time, you’ll keep running towards your debut until you’re my age, and I’ll keep running until I’m even older.”

Ryu Iden says that and ruffles the kid’s hair once.

“No matter who among us is eliminated, it’s just a temporary step back. And then we can run again. I know that well because I’ve run again like that so many times.”

…Ryu Iden has endured 10 years, I guess.

This damn survival show is trying to measure the size of someone’s dream that they’ve had for 10 years with stairs.

Then Kim Hyun-jin nods very slightly.

“And you, you have good charm, good skills, you’re younger than me, and most of all, you have the face of an idol, right?”

Then Kim Hyun-jin smiles faintly and answers.

“Ah, what should I do with this charming face all swollen up?”

“I knew this would happen, so I put a spoon in the freezer, so let’s use it to get rid of the swelling in the morning, Hyun-jin.”

…Certainly, Ryu Iden is a good hyung. He always tries to give faith and heart to the people around him.

That’s why he’s so shocked when he’s betrayed, but that’s what makes him a human being who can lead someone from the front.

I quietly sat in front of the door and waited for a while until they went inside.

Tomorrow, someone will have to be eliminated after all.

…Ha, this damn survival show.

I quietly call Ki-ji-saeng.

‘…Ki-ji-saeng, is there no possibility that all six of us can debut together?’

[You don’t have a question ticket, but I’ll make an exception and answer this time.

Answer: It does not exist.]

…Okay.

* * *

Ji Dong-hwa’s fan came here even though she knew she had a midterm exam on Monday.

‘Our Dong-hwa, he’s been through some bad luck with those trashy bastards sticking to him, so he must debut!’

She had been living in communities and on social media to fight against the (damn) rumors about Ji Dong-hwa that had surfaced a few days ago. Thanks to that, she missed the deadline for submitting her midterm report, but it was worth it.

‘So, so he has to debut!’

The cloth in her hand had the phrase ‘A flower blooming in hardship’ and a picture of Ji Dong-hwa doing a flower pose as a penalty for a game printed on it.

It was a towel co-produced through social media, and most of the Ji Dong-hwa fans who came today were planning to cheer with this cloth.

She entered the audience seats with a boiling sense of excitement and a very slight sense of anxiety that Ji Dong-hwa’s debut would finally be confirmed today.

After a little time, Ji Dong-hwa and some of the trainees came up 20 minutes before the live broadcast started.

‘Oh my god… shorts… how can he look so good in them……?’

Ji Dong-hwa was wearing a blue marine look with his knees showing, and a scarf was tied around his neck. Because of Ji Dong-hwa’s face, he looked like a cat going on a trip to the sea in a fairy tale.

‘…Cody-nim [stylist], are you a genius?’

I need to bow to you first, so please tell me where you are.

But why did they come up already? She finally regained her mind because of Ji Dong-hwa’s outfit and belatedly wondered.

When the staff handed him the microphone, Ryu Iden, as the representative, spoke first.

“Hello! The Next Nietzsche trainees are here!”

And at the moment, Lee Hyun-jae was startled by the pouring cheers, and Ji Dong-hwa carefully grabbed his shoulder.

‘Ji Dong-hwa… so sweet…….’

She wiped away the drool.

“We have prepared gifts for the fans who came here! We wrapped them ourselves one by one, so please be sure to pick one up on your way out!”

As if there was a script, Ryu Iden finished speaking and looked at Kim Hyun-jin, who picked up the microphone.

“We didn’t prepare great gifts, but we prepared them with care!”

“It’s― handwritten letters― and snacks― and, um, uh― what was it?”

Is he really not knowing? Everyone couldn’t help but laugh at his sudden blankness.

Ji Dong-hwa looked around for a moment and picked up the microphone.

“…And we enclosed a photo card with a picture of the six of us together.”

“Ah! That’s right! As expected, Hyungnim is amazing.”

She laughed because it was funny to see him talk faster when he praised Ji Dong-hwa.

And so the kids had a short conversation on stage for a while and started preparing again.

As time passed, the VCR began, and the final competition of ‘The Next Nietzsche’ raised its curtain.

* * *

# Last part of the VCR before the self-produced mission stage

Ji Dong-hwa is sitting in a personal interview room. His eyes were a little swollen.

[Q. What kind of song is ‘Horizon’?]

‘Um… first of all, all of our trainees participated in the stage composition. I and trainee Seok-joon composed the song, trainee Lee Hyun-jae also participated in writing the lyrics, and the remaining trainees came up with the choreography. So you can say it’s a song that contains everyone’s dreams.’

Against the background of Ji Dong-hwa’s voice, the scene flashes through Seok-joon and Ji Dong-hwa talking to compose the song, them coming up with the choreography, and Lee Hyun-jae exchanging conversations with Ji Dong-hwa while writing the lyrics.

[Q. Where did you get your inspiration when composing?]

‘Um… stairs. I actually hate the stairs that always appear at our elimination ceremony, and I got my inspiration from there.’

Then the screen switches and Lee Hyun-jae appears.

[Q. Stairs?]

‘…It makes me nervous just thinking about it. If you can’t get on those stairs, it feels like you’ve failed.’

This time, Kim Hyun-jin appears.

‘Hyun-jae said that? Me too! Me too!’

Next is Chae Ha-min.

‘Even if I finish the stage well, when I stand in front of those stairs, I feel like I’ve shrunk.’

Back to Ji Dong-hwa.

‘…To be honest, I have an urge to break those stairs every time I see them. I wondered if we could break the stairs and stand at the same height together.’

The screen changes and a scene of Lee Hyun-jae looking at the stairs from behind the stage is briefly shown. And then a personal interview follows.

‘…Actually, there were times when I wanted to give up in the middle. I was afraid to stand in front of the stairs. Then Dong-hwa hyung told me…….’

The screen switches to Seok-joon.

‘He said that the size of a dream― cannot be measured― by the height of the stairs― I write that in front of my notebook and read it all the time.’

[Q. Is that so?]

‘…I told you, Seok-joon is full of madness and difficult to understand.’

And Ji Dong-hwa is touching his reddened ears as if he was embarrassed that what he said was revealed.

And finally, Ryu Iden appears in the center of the screen. He looks quietly at the front and opens his mouth with a smile.

‘Please, I hope you will watch over our dreams.’

* * *

When the VCR ended, cheers that seemed to burst the ceiling rang out.

It was partly a cheer that was given as a courtesy before the stage, but it was also because they sympathized with the anger at the survival show.

Soon, blue and refreshing lights came on on the stage, and the sound of waves lapping was heard.

And from within it, the sensual synth line of Moombahton flows out.

It gave the illusion of sitting on a beach.

The stage was full of oak barrels, wooden boxes, and ropes that resembled a deck.

In it, the six people wearing marine looks walked around the stage, checking the ship by pulling ropes or hammering.

After the sound of the waves stopped and the sound of a ship’s horn flowed out, they stood in formation.

And with the accompaniment, Chae Ha-min came out to the center with a bright smile.

Chae Ha-min began to look around here and there in time with the beat, with choreography that looked like he was holding binoculars in his hand.

Come on, let’s go, beyond that horizon over there

You and I, let’s find the place we’ve been searching for

And when Chae Ha-min lowered his binoculars and pointed to the front of the stage with surprise, everyone gathered around and looked at it seriously, then nodded at each other.

Ryu Iden came out through the middle. He was the only one wearing short sleeves.

Ryu Iden ruffled his hair slightly and said anxiously.

Overflowing anxiety, my insufficient self

How long can we be together?

Let’s go through the thick bushes in front of us like that

And Ryu Iden smiled as if he was confident, folding his arm to one side and tapping his shoulder with the other arm. Then Lee Hyun-jae hung on Ryu Iden’s arm and laughed happily.

Found it, there, that horizon

Then the accompaniment subsided for a moment, and a sensual piano melody flowed out.

Ji Dong-hwa walks out and puts the microphone to his mouth. Ji Dong-hwa walks out to the front right of the stage, and the remaining members gather on the left and watch Ji Dong-hwa with flower poses.

I don’t wanna go upsta―ir―irs

I just want to move forward with you

Ji Dong-hwa, who turned around after saying that he didn’t want to go up, smiled slightly because he found the flower poses funny and continued to sing.

I don’t wanna beat ya yeah―e―yeah

I just want to dream with you

After that, Ji Dong-hwa ran to the others and threw himself backwards. Then Ryu Iden, Seok-joon, and Chae Ha-min supported him and did a toss.

And Lee Hyun-jae and Kim Hyun-jin, who slid out from under it, come to the center.

The accompaniment returned to a cool and hopeful atmosphere, but the cheerful feeling was stronger.

If we can only go beyond that (there, that horizon)

If you and I hold hands (oh, that horizon)

Then the two of them held hands and raised them up, and Lee Hyun-jae raised the microphone and let out a refreshing high note.

Let’s go― beyond that horizon over there

Just as my stomach was about to burst as if I had drunk a bottle of cider, the melody of Tropical House burst out in the chorus.

It was a cool sound, like driving on an open highway and listening at maximum volume.

In line with this beat, they formed a formation and performed an exciting dance with Kim Hyun-jin, Ryu Iden, and Chae Ha-min in the center.

They tilted their upper bodies, turning left and right as if they were holding a joystick.

When they made eye contact, they exaggeratedly waved their hands to create a bright atmosphere.

After that, they quickly gathered in a row, half to the left and the other half to the right, put their hands on their foreheads and looked around, and when they sat down in a hurry, Seok-joon smiled and looked forward with binoculars.

Seok-joon naturally comes forward like that.

Stairs, can’t stop, the way I’m going,

The road to the horizon, with you,

We don’t wanna go up, right?

When Seok-joon looked around and asked, they all gathered together, smiled brightly, and nodded. And together, they formed a formation, took a few steps, and then made a smile mark with both hands.

Fold up your anxiety and laugh together

And Lee Hyun-jae, who walks forward, sings the line that Ji Dong-hwa sang.

In the meantime, Ryu Iden is moving busily, giving instructions to the trainees.

The moment the trainees were busy moving around the stage according to the instructions, a huge curtain came down from the huge mast in the center of the stage.

There was a picture of the six of them together against the background of the sunset sea.

The song was so exciting, but the sunset created a somewhat sad atmosphere.

And at that time, the chorus that burst out.

With Kim Hyun-jin standing in the center, the formation moved in the direction of turning the joystick, creating a production that made it seem like they were really going on a trip by boat.

And as the song gradually came to an end, when everyone was sitting back and looking at the sail, only Ji Dong-hwa was standing in the center looking straight ahead.

Ji Dong-hwa, who was making a slightly sad expression, finally picked up the microphone.

Come on, let’s go, beyond that horizon over there

Even if this is our last

Yes, you and I, remain together as memories

Now it will be remembered forever

And Ji Dong-hwa also sat back, hugging his knees.

In the strange silence that flowed after the song ended, the six of them were just staring at the picture they had taken together on the stage.

And the moment the stage went dark and the commercial break flowed, cheers began in the audience.

And Ji Dong-hwa’s fan cried and cheered, thinking.

‘…Dong-hwa, how did you make this quality of song, and even arrange it into 10 versions?’

She vowed to give Ji Dong-hwa a health food gift if she ever had the chance, and continued to shout.