Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 294

Looking back at high school, I don’t have many fond memories. Back then, I was a bit… stuck in that so-called middle school phase, full of dissatisfaction with the world.

I probably would have gone down the path of delinquency if I had received even a little less parental guidance.

“Come to think of it, I’m curious. You said you still went to school when you weren’t around, right?”

“Yeah.”

“No, then who is that? Can you even call that you?”

“Philosophical.”

Can a machine that looks, acts, and has the same personality as a human be called human? It’s ambiguous to say it’s not me.

[What does it matter to you?]

Quiet, you damn scientist. You studied the same thing in your late twenties. Look at the chaos your AI has caused.

Following Ryu Iden, Lee Hyunjae and Chae Hamin also nodded.

“No, then what do you say when you go? You don’t know anything.”

“I wonder if it’s better that I became friends with Donghwa later. I originally wanted to become friends sooner, though.”

“I know, right? I think I’d be hurt if it was a friendship I didn’t remember.”

“…A friendship you don’t remember?”

What are you looking at, you animal things?

Their eyes held worry. They look sympathetic. It must be because the connections I’ve built up over three years have all disappeared, or at least been cut in half.

“You know my personality.”

“Surely, you can’t have no friends.”

Ryu Iden made a face I’d never seen before.

A face that says he absolutely can’t accept it, from Ryu Iden, who usually accepts most things first.

“Ask Gijisaeng. Is it true?”

“Yeah. I roughly heard about what happened in high school from him yesterday.”

Last night, I lay in bed and talked with Gijisaeng for a long time, and came to a simple conclusion. There were no special events except that school ended earlier.

Only really minor things, like explaining to the homeroom teacher about being an active trainee [a person training to become an idol], were different.

It’s almost unpleasant to be so sure that it would have been the same even if I had gone.

“…Is that even possible?”

“There’s no reason it couldn’t be.”

“No, how is that possible with your personality?”

Who other than me could do that?

“If it were you, there’s a 100% chance you’d become friends while helping someone.”

“…Huh?”

Listening to this, it’s truly a novel load of nonsense. I’m helping you guys because it’s you, what.

“You probably don’t know what I was like in high school.”

“What were you like?”

* * *

Before the possibility was altered, there was a legend of a vicious human at Ji Donghwa’s high school who never lost first place for three years.

Usually, academic performance should remain as the legend, but other stories were more often talked about among the students.

A legend of a human who wore dark circles like glasses, injected Dewaza [energy drink brand] and coffee as fluids, and answered when spoken to, but with a look that seemed to say, ‘Where do you think you’re crossing the line?’

A crazy human who looked like a *폐인* [pronounced *pyein*, a Korean slang term for a social outcast or recluse] but had a straight posture and was polite, didn’t talk to others first but listened, but strongly rejected anyone who tried to get close.

A human who wore hair as decoration and cut it himself, thought it was more rational to save money than to care about the fit of his uniform, wore it as big as he could, and some bad groups tried to approach him but avoided him a little because his eyes looked crazy when they actually faced him.

A human who seemed like he might stab you with a knife if you said something wrong. That’s who Ji Donghwa was, they say.

Of course, Ji Donghwa believes he just went to school diligently.

The number of incidents actually caused is zero, the number of frictions caused is also zero, and even minor arguments are zero.

No matter what anyone says, he was really diligent on his student record (there aren’t many teachers who would mess up the student record of a talent going to Korea University).

But Ji Donghwa had never looked at himself through the eyes of others.

He went diligently, but it felt like he was living because he was born, so he was close to a time bomb.

The genes his parents passed down well didn’t shine at the time, so it couldn’t be helped in the eyes of other students.

‘I just went to school quietly.’

So isn’t that what he’s saying?

‘There weren’t even people who tried to get closer.’

There were. But Ji Donghwa chased them away with his eyes.

The strong will not to give affection to others peaked in high school, so if Chae Hamin had met Ji Donghwa at that time, it would have taken much longer to become friends.

“Wow, Hyunjae, that guy really has no tact.”

Ji Donghwa always did group projects alone, there was no one who would do physical education performance evaluations with him, and he thought it was a kind of bullying to avoid him when they just made eye contact.

Gijisaeng knows now.

Because he had the opportunity to see himself through the eyes of a third party.

“How can he not even know I’m lying?”

It’s not much different, what do you mean? It was completely different.

When I first showed him the AI activity log, I thought school life would be similar, so I just roughly wrote down how I lived at the company, but there’s such a difference!

Just putting in the fact that I had to live as a trainee, the human even went to the hair salon and tailored his uniform appropriately, and his eyes changed from looking like a crazy person to being indifferent to everything.

Just putting in that he was a trainee, he didn’t miss the minimum self-care, which was so like him, that Gijisaeng sighed while investigating.

“Since when did he believe in himself like that? I can’t figure him out.”

Even if he didn’t make connections with friends, it’s true that there were a lot of gaps.

Thanks to that, the stories from high school converge to 0, and even if there are any, they only come out as a short word like ‘Ji Donghwa was really quiet ㅇㅇ [Korean abbreviation for ‘yes’].’

There are countless things in the internet world that haven’t been said, or that people don’t say because they don’t know well.

Gijisaeng smiled. The fox robot nestled quietly in his arms yawned because he was used to the human who made him being crazy sometimes.

I gave him false hope, so it’s okay for me to give him some false reassurance.

“I’m looking forward to him being flustered, right?”

He didn’t seem interested in anything, but Gijisaeng was excited.

In a place where there’s nothing to play with, even a small amusement becomes the greatest party on earth.

Wearing a school uniform feels a bit awkward.

How many years ago was this? A moderately aged Ryu Iden seemed excited, but after this much time, it’s hard to shake the thought that I’m just being foolish.

…But did the uniform always fit this well? That can’t be right. The uniform I wore used to be big enough to fit a whole hand inside.

“Did all the other members go to their alma maters?”

“Yes.”

The kind writer answers my question. Even though her face is familiar, I’m just happy that the PD [Production Director] hasn’t latched onto me.

“Which way did the PD go?”

“I heard he went with Iden. Are you disappointed?”

Haha, it seems like something big is prepared on Ryu Iden’s side.

That guy lives for the pleasure of watching his opponent willingly eat the biggest piece of crap he’s prepared.

“Of course. I’m just sad that I’ll have fewer opportunities to see him after the second period of mental training ends.”

I’m so happy.

The cameraman who was filming me chuckled at my sullen face.

Be happy. According to Gijisaeng, no problem. Since the PD isn’t here, it’s officially safe again. No one can interfere with my schedule today.

I can just stroll around for the day, like a grandfather chuckling at the youthful energy of the school.

Where else can I find this kind of healing amidst the days I’m stuck in the practice room preparing for performances?

The school’s main gate.

Honestly, it feels unfamiliar. I usually walked looking at the ground when I came to school.

It’s a stretch to say that you can infer a person’s personality just from their walking posture, but it definitely has some influence.

“How do you feel about coming to school after so long, Donghwa?”

I paused, checking if my name tag was properly attached.

“I don’t know.”

“What kind of student were you in school?”

“I was quiet. I didn’t have any friends because I was a trainee.”

“Ah….”

I saw you say ‘no fun’ with your lips, writer.

If you go up the hill past the main gate, you’ll find the schoolyard. They’ve laid grass here. I wonder whose donation it was.

“What did you mainly do in the schoolyard?”

“I mainly went to and from school.”

When I was at school, my hobby was holing up in the classroom.

Today is Saturday. Our school had a special self-study class, which was cut off by grades.

I didn’t go there (Gijisaeng double-checked), but it was a quiet day when only the students in that class came to school, so the schoolyard was also quiet.

“…Do you have any strange stories or anything!”

The writer became a little desperate. I know she wants to hear a fun story somehow, but I have nothing to say.

“Do you see that gazebo over there?”

A unique space that every school has, our school has a gazebo.

The gazebo should have a beautiful view, but they didn’t even care about that and just crammed it into a corner.

Surprisingly, no one ever used it.

“My hobby was reading books there.”

“…You were a scholar.”

A complicated expression.

I guess she’s wondering why the guy who used to create content whenever a camera was pointed at him during mental training is acting like this.

“That’s right! I was a scholar!”

…What, who are you? I don’t remember your face. Gijisaeng, emergency call.

[Hahahahahahahahaha.]

Gijisaeng, I need an explanation of what’s going on.

“Senior, it’s been a while!”

“Yeah, it’s been a while.”

My mouth moved on its own.

Even if the other person was younger, I probably wouldn’t have dropped the honorifics. Even if the other person told me to drop the honorifics, there’s no way I, a high school student by nature, would have done that.

And since it’s been a while, it’s not strange to start with honorifics even if I had dropped them.

“Hey, I told you to speak comfortably several times. And you didn’t even come to the graduation ceremony.”

Gijisaeng, come out. What is this? Why is the AI more sociable than me, damn it.

[That person is a junior you taught.]

Please, why are you doing this, Gijisaeng.

[I’ll only intervene when you’re really about to make a mistake, so try to struggle until the end! I’ll see how far you can match the conversation based only on the other person’s actions and circumstances.]

“Senior, I’m so glad to see you again like this. I was retaking the college entrance exam, so I found out too late that you debuted like this….”

Retaking the exam, I taught, there was improvement in grades, conclusion: dissatisfaction with grades.

“Because you weren’t satisfied. Even that was a huge improvement.”

“Wow, did you see that? Senior Donghwa remembers even such trivial things.”

There’s no suitable answer, I don’t know what I remembered in the past that made her say that, conclusion: answer vaguely.

“It’s not trivial.”

Gijisaeng. I told you to come out.

[Haha, hahaha, haha! Haha! Look at that mess!]

This crazy life form. Why are you like this? You’re me.

[I guess I enjoy self-torture!]

I don’t, you damn life form.