Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 303

I Didn’t Plan to Become an Idol – 303

Concert stage planning meeting.

Our input is mostly on the detailed aspects, while the overall concept and planning are generally handled by the company.

Blooming Paradise. A paradise where flowers bloom.

The fact that I don’t feel much of anything looking at this name probably means I’ve become quite accustomed to this industry.

Whether it’s a paradise or whether flowers actually bloom is beside the point, but a phrase like, ‘Our concert is paradise,’ feels like something you can only say after the performance is over and the quality has been recognized.

“The name was chosen with a floral feel, considering your nicknames. Do you like it?”

“Of course, we do.”

Ryu Iden laughed amiably.

“And unofficially, there’s another name.”

The team leader moved the PPT to the next slide.

A phrase that read ‘Betrayal Paranoia.’

…Awkward. It feels like they tried too hard to match the first letters to B.P.

Lee Hyun-se also stared at it, wondering what it was, then glanced at me.

It’s sad that my tutoring student asked me an academic question after a long time, but I don’t know the answer either. If it means paranoia of suspecting others’ betrayal, there would be a separate medical term.

“B is everyone except Hyun-se, P is Hyun-se.”

Team Leader Jang Hae-jin laughed.

“Everything is from Hyun-se’s perspective.”

Ah, is this the end of the worldview?

* * *

Lee Hyun-se slowly reflected on his entire life. And he recalled the countless promises he had made in his life.

Clearly, they promised to remember him.

From the mid-Joseon period (roughly 16th-17th century Korea, a time of cultural flourishing), to medieval Europe (Time Waiting for You), to the modern era (Cherry Blossom Falling), these people who had faced him in every moment had promised him.

All of them, as they died, smiled and responded to my greeting of seeing them in the next life.

Disappointment was already in the past, depression had long ended, and he was even tired of doubting himself.

Lee Hyun-se just wanted others to remember him. He wanted them to understand the memories they had shared together.

At least, he wanted them to know that this meeting wasn’t the first time for him and them.

However.

Lee Hyun-se sat on the sofa. The hospital where Ji Dong-hwa was working as a doctor.

He hummed a tune. Was it thanks to the development of modern science?

He closed his eyes. From now on, this life would be repeated.

He had a vague sense of it. Ji Dong-hwa was becoming more and more rational, and even the other hyungs’ [older brothers/male figures he respects] eyes were filled with pity when they looked at him.

If he stayed close, he wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret. So, from now on, he would either live at a distance from his hyungs, or he would tell them and be hospitalized, one of the two.

“…Ahem.”

He cheerfully took the medicine. But this time too, it would have no effect. Either Ji Dong-hwa was a quack, or he had no illness.

The conclusion is simple. He is normal.

He lay down on the bed.

Lee Hyun-se still believes in them. They would never betray his trust.

They were hyungs who were always warm to him, it couldn’t be real. They had never abandoned him even once in the long, long life that had continued.

Lee Hyun-se’s solid trust was closer to instinct than a temporary phenomenon.

Just as an animal’s cub moves according to instinct, the trust built up over that long period of time cannot be changed.

So Lee Hyun-se began to doubt reality.

A nightmare, or a hallucination. Anything is fine. As long as it’s not reality.

Like the logical system that Quine had created, in order to prove the single sentence, ‘The hyungs will not abandon me,’ Lee Hyun-se slowly denied everything.

Ji Dong-hwa, who treats him indifferently like a patient, is an illusion. Ryu Iden, who was born as his *chinhyung* [biological older brother] this time and put him in the hospital, is also an illusion.

Chae Ha-min, Seok Jun, if they are all lies, then the hyungs have not abandoned him.

The paradox of firm belief making him doubt everything, Lee Hyun-se closed his eyes again, wriggling through the gap.

When he closes his eyes, there is paradise. There are hyungs and himself spending days that are just repeated in the ruins (Cloudy Blue).

“This, it seems to be reality.”

After that, Ji Dong-hwa tried to open Lee Hyun-se’s eyes through numerous consultations, but the suspicion that had arisen in his heart quickly subsided (The Last Beginning).

For Lee Hyun-se, it had become too solid a reality for a few snakes to break.

Creak, the door opened.

“How’s your body?”

Chae Ha-min, who came to visit him, carefully sat next to him.

“It’s reality.”

Lee Hyun-se was certain.

When he closed his eyes, lay on the bed, and answered with a smile, Chae Ha-min frowned.

He heard from Ji Dong-hwa, don’t affirm or deny, just listen.

“…Yeah. I know.”

“No, hyung doesn’t know.”

He is firm. Like a prophet who knows the truth, there is no hesitation in what he says.

“Hyung is not the hyung I knew.”

“…Is that so?”

“We’re not just kindergarten classmates.”

The eyes of Lee Hyun-se, who said that, were full of sadness.

* * *

I was frowning at the noise that suddenly came as I was concentrating on the play.

“Pfft!”

Ryu Iden burst out laughing while watching.

“Wow, sorry, but, no. Is the kindergarten classmate setting official?”

Lee Hyun-se, who was lying on the practice room floor, got up from his seat with a sulky look.

“Hyung, you’re ruining my concentration, what a mess.”

“Yeah, Iden.”

It’s a bit rude to burst out laughing at a random point during a serious play.

In the conference room, the team leader said with a smile.

‘It’s good to know, and if not, we’re going to reflect it very slightly in the concert composition. If you watch it without thinking, it’s just exciting and fun, but later, when you go back and think about it, you’ll be like, ah!’

At the same time, the team leader said that she didn’t think there were that many people who liked the worldview, but she presented the grounds that it wasn’t bad to add a little flavor as a point for those who know to chew and tear.

Nod, nod, on the premise that there is something to enjoy as a stage, it is a good thing to have more things to share among those who are interested.

However.

‘It’s a secret to you guys too!’

We don’t know at which point they put it in or what the subtitle is.

‘You guys will figure it out anyway, right?’

As she laughed, Ryu Iden poked my elbow right away.

“He’s telling you to interpret it, you dog.”

Then I have to watch quietly.

After eating dinner and taking a break to digest, Lee Hyun-se and I had a discussion for a while.

How to reasonably incorporate betrayal and paranoia into the story so far.

“Isn’t he really going crazy?”

Is there any other interpretation besides that?

“Right? If I were him, I think I would deny reality and fall into delusion if my hyungs abandoned me.”

It’s not easy to give up or give up everything to protect one thing, but it’s not uncommon either. I, too, am making such a choice right now…….

Wait a minute.

If Ki Ji-saeng comes here, wouldn’t he be just like that? I already think he’s crazy sometimes, what if he goes even crazier?

Ding-!

As expected, the answer must have come.

I read the message in the air comfortably without looking at anyone.

[I’m busy raising children right now, so I’m setting up an automatic response function! I’m sorry!]

…What is it? When did you have an illegitimate child, Ki Ji-saeng?

I blinked my eyes a few times at the sudden and embarrassing information, but the text did not change.

Surely, he’s not crazy, he’s not raising an AI based on me, is he?

While I was staring blankly for a while.

“When I see it, it’s amazing. We all believed in hyung without doubting his words, right?”

Lee Hyun-se muttered, hugging his knees.

Honestly, Hyun-se, you doubted me, didn’t you? I clearly remember the bewilderment in your eyes at first and the face that was worried about whether to send you to the hospital.

Then, when I heard that I was the only one who was close to him, I let go of my doubts. Believing what you want to believe is a long tradition.

“But the me in the story is in such a state……. I’m curious about his feelings.”

“I know.”

Lee Hyun-se and I smiled bitterly without saying anything.

Lee Hyun-se simulated the situation in his brain for a while by applying the situation to the character with the same name as himself, and I applied it to the character with the same name as myself.

“…I can’t imagine hyung being cold to me?”

“Really?”

“Yes. Hyung is a desirable teacher image to me.”

I don’t think I have enough teacher character to be desirable.

“Show me once, hyung.”

…A small play that started after the conversation.

I hadn’t even appeared yet, but Ryu Iden broke the mood.

I explained the situation to Chae Ha-min, gave him the lines, and even wrote an impromptu script, but I couldn’t stop Ryu Iden’s laughter as he ate the salad.

“So, is what you just saw the official setting?”

Ryu Iden pushed the rest of the salad into his mouth and chewed and swallowed it for a long time.

“Probably.”

This is the most accurate explanation. A Korean literature student has gone directly into analyzing metaphors and plots, so it must be right.

“Wow, that’s amazing. Then each music video is Hyun-se’s memory?”

“That’s right. Everything is centered on Hyun-se.”

“What, how would we live without our maknae [youngest member], then?”

“I know.”

“Well, is our maknae a bit important in the group?”

“That’s right.”

Ryu Iden and I matched up in an instant. We started to *salligi* [exaggerate/overreact for comedic effect] Lee Hyun-se as if we had *jjada* [planned/conspired] it.

However, the essence is purely a type of play culture to see Lee Hyun-se embarrassed.

As expected, Lee Hyun-se got up from his seat, *jilsaek* [looking disgusted].

“I’m going to go to the bathroom.”

Ryu Iden laughed and sat down.

Chae Ha-min, who had thrown away his sad face after the acting was over, sat next to him and shouted.

“It’s going to be a mess to match the entire movement tomorrow!”

“Yeah, the poster will be out next week too.”

Ryu Iden looked at me as if it were natural.

“I’ve never been to a concert before, but you’ll know if you write it down, right?”

“What.”

“Why we’re making such a fuss.”

“I don’t know.”

That’s something you won’t know until you do it.

* * *

And the next day, I realized the meaning of that word. While looking at the audience seating chart that Ryu Iden brought.

“…It’s too big.”

The year-end stage is not just for us, so even if it’s big, it doesn’t really hit me, but the fact that an audience of this size is filled with people who like us…….

“I told you.”

“…Will it sell out?”

“Hyung underestimates us too much. We’ve been steadily climbing up, you know.”

Seok Jun, who was sitting next to me and showing interest in what I was looking at, also sat down with a thud.

“…I’m already nervous―.”

Three weeks before the concert, Seok Jun opened his mouth and was shocked, overwhelmed by the size of the audience.

“What happens if I make a mistake?”

“What happens, it’s a meeting with Dong-hwa.”

“…I will never do it.”

Why me. You’re the leader, you *manghal gae* [damn dog/jerk]. And Jun, why are you making a resolution.

I complained inwardly and engraved each seat in the audience in my eyes. It’s a scale where you can’t even see your face properly unless it’s the closest standing seat.

My ambitious plan to memorize the faces of everyone who came, it seems that it could not have been realized in the first place.