Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 373

Nothing ever goes as planned? That can’t be right. It just can’t.

“Please, take care of me.”

“Sure.”

I can’t really explain why I ended up living in this house.

Whether it’s from Mok-dong to Korea University Station, or from Gangnam to Korea University Station, the distance is the same.

Honestly, if I’m just using public transportation, wouldn’t the latter be faster? Rationally speaking, this choice makes no sense.

“Is this all your luggage?”

“Yes, I left the bookshelf. I have all my favorite books as e-books.”

E-books are better. I’ll miss the analog feel and the texture of paper, but the convenience is unmatched.

I held my precious tablet containing hundreds of books. I wish e-readers would improve even more.

“I like e-books better too.”

Dong-hwa hyung approached with a natural smile and lifted my carrier for me. Then he staggered and nearly collapsed. Thud, he put the carrier down and leaned on it to rest.

…No, he looked like he was enduring something.

What’s that, why is he resting…? Ah, he’s facing the harsh reality that he couldn’t lift the luggage that his two-year-younger brother carried easily, and he’s frustrated.

Lee Hyun-jae couldn’t help but smirk. Wow, I really want to mess with this hyung.

“You’re weak.”

“…Just studied too much.”

“Me too.”

Isn’t it easier to count the Korea University students who *aren’t* just bookworms?

“Haha, how about exercising with Eden hyung, hyung?”

My brilliant mind calculated how to poke at Dong-hwa hyung’s sore spot.

I don’t know why, but Dong-hwa hyung hates showing weakness in front of those younger than him. He subtly shows off his useless pride, this hyung.

“What are you doing, hyung?”

Mok-hwa approached curiously and lifted the carrier with a thud.

Dong-hwa hyung chuckled and got up.

He glanced lightly at Mok-hwa’s hand and then smiled self-deprecatingly again.

“I am weak.”

“Physical weakness can be overcome, Hyun-jae.”

“No, hyung. You were quite healthy physically when you were dancing, but now you’re really…”

My feet stopped. Why did I decide to live in this house as a boarder?

Of course, the food is delicious. Dong-hwa hyung is so picky that he only puts out food that meets his standards. The house is nice, and the conditions are reasonable.

But more than anything, I’m curious about what kind of person he is.

Ji Dong-hwa, who I’ve seen so far, is strangely domestic, has the looks and physique but doesn’t bother to take care of himself, and is desperate to make a living.

He plans every day in seconds and calculates even when talking to others, but he used to dance.

A guy who wouldn’t even go to a club, and if he went with a friend, he’d complain about the noise instead of dancing, used to dance? And he was even healthy?

Did he have a huge turning point in his life?

Ji Dong-hwa smiled at Lee Hyun-jae’s sparkling eyes. He flicked Mok-hwa’s back with his finger.

“Mok-hwa.”

“…Ah.”

Silence. I feel a little breathless. Lee Hyun-jae was completely excluded from the situation, and Mok-hwa’s limbs stiffened at his mistake.

Ji Dong-hwa loosely grabbed Lee Hyun-jae’s wrist and pulled him inside.

“It’s a shameful memory.”

His words and actions aroused even more curiosity.

This hyung, he definitely knows what he’s doing, right? From the moment he dragged me into this house, he keeps making me ask questions like this.

If he danced enough to be healthy, he should have at least joined a club.

There’s no way someone like him would impulsively join a club without a plan, so what was he thinking?

Damn it, my imagination keeps running wild. Why would someone like that dance…? Is it the darkness of modern society?

“Come in.”

Lee Hyun-jae stepped forward at Ji Dong-hwa’s words.

Maybe that’s related to the secret Dong-hwa hyung told me to find out. Wow, he’s so sly. He just glosses over it as a ‘shameful memory’ and changes the subject.

He digs traps to get others to confess their secrets, but he won’t reveal his own.

“What happened?”

Then I have to pry. I’m young, so please be lenient. The word ‘hyung’ is important to him, right?

Dong-hwa hyung glanced back as he led me to the room.

“I forced myself to dance.”

“Hyung, is it okay to say that?”

“I think it’s okay for Hyun-jae.”

“Wow, then can I tell you everything?”

“Wouldn’t that be too early?”

I could confirm Ji Dong-hwa’s wickedness again. He’s not used to getting help from others, so he keeps throwing bait and sending the message ‘live long.’ [This is a Korean expression meaning to take care of oneself.]

“This is the room you’ll be living in.”

Mok-hwa put down the luggage. A large room. This house must have been inherited from his parents.

What kind of time has passed in this room? Mok-hwa and Dong-hwa hyung each use a room, so this place might be… the room Dong-hwa hyung used when he was young.

The bed and other things seemed new, with no signs of age.

Only the bookshelf and wallpaper seemed slightly worn, as if they weren’t new.

A city in Europe was bombed by missiles, and new buildings were built on the debris, forming a clear boundary. Just like this room.

Who lived here, who left, and who will live here again, me?

Was it the right choice? Living here.

I was persuaded by Ji Dong-hwa to come all the way here, but building myself on the debris is a bit overwhelming.

“It’s the room I used when I was young.”

“I see.”

Lee Hyun-jae nodded.

If it was the room my parents used, my heart would have dropped and two or three holes would have been punched in my stomach. [This is an expression of extreme emotional distress.]

But, so how did you read my mind, you creepy senior? You’re scaring me to death, really.

I’m crazy for walking into the tiger’s den myself… come to think of it, that guy’s aura resembles a tiger.

Isn’t it inevitable that I, as a human, would be afraid?

“Make yourself comfortable.”

Dong-hwa hyung smiled brightly and went outside. Ha, I can’t tell if my life is starting to get tangled or untangled.

Lee Hyun-jae opened the carrier and sighed softly.

Oh, what, I feel so relieved. It feels loose inside.

It’s like I was tied up tightly and the rope broke, returning to my original form. It’s awkward, and I’m out of breath.

…Did I really leave that house?

Now, it’s okay if I don’t go back.

Money is an issue, but this cheap and stable housing environment, plus the reasonable food costs and delicious meals, means I can manage with just a part-time job.

I really got out. Lee Hyun-jae jumped onto the bed.

The mattress wrapped around my body, with no feeling of anything there, proving that Dong-hwa hyung paid attention to it.

Complex thoughts were swept away. Debris, Ji Dong-hwa, everything disappeared, and I closed my eyes.

‘…I forced myself to dance.’

My thoughts continue as usual. What does that mean?

…Ah, I can only think of hypotheses that would only come out in strange novels.

I can only think of a ridiculous plot where the future me influences the past me to make me dance.

If Ji Dong-hwa is the protagonist, he would ignore the will of the past ‘me’ and force me, saying it’s part of his plan.

Like, ‘It’s me anyway, so what.’ A human who would have had ethical 고민 [Korean word for ‘worries’ or ‘concerns’] if it were someone else…

“…What, this guy, it feels kind of good to roll him around in a novel.”

Lee Hyun-jae jumped up from the bed.

Is it because he’s a human who knows how to roll me around in his palm? It’s quite pleasant to put him in an imagination where I can kill him and bring him back to life as I please.

I approached the desk. This also has traces of time.

That guy must have sat here and worried about something.

Lee Hyun-jae pulled out a chair and sat down, taking out a notebook from his bag.

‘Ah, I’m more curious now.’

Dancing is just dancing, but if you go into it professionally, it’s a type of comprehensive exercise that destroys the muscles of the whole body.

That body is the body of a human who only knows how to breathe, but is so picky about food that he eats little. But because he has a good frame, it doesn’t show, but he must be terribly skinny.

‘It doesn’t look like he would have danced, but Mok-hwa’s tone… he spoke with almost professional senses…’

Let’s think about it with the question of whether it’s okay to say that.

At this time when college life begins, at this time when others get licenses or get language scores, Lee Hyun-jae engraved countless letters to explain a word from a human named Ji Dong-hwa.

‘…Ah, damn it, my head keeps going to strange plots.’

The imagination that he danced in his past life again… I have to explain it only in reality.

No, I can’t explain it only in reality yet. I don’t know Ji Dong-hwa well yet.

Lee Hyun-jae stretched. I need to organize the desk now that I’m using it.

I opened the drawer to put in writing utensils, but there was already a small notebook inside.

What, I’ve never put something like this in here. Did Dong-hwa hyung forget to take it out?

Instantly, even though I knew it was rude, my hand moved on its own.

“…Oh.”

A household account book, huh.

Lee Hyun-jae scanned the neatly written expenditure details with his eyes, with no stimulating information at all.

This room was used by Ji Dong-hwa when he was young. Early on, his parents passed away, and in this room, Dong-hwa hyung pressed down hard on the pencil and wrote the household account book.

Lee Hyun-jae pressed the surface of the paper slightly with his hand. Too much force is applied.

I wonder if it puts a strain on his wrist when he holds the pencil. Why, why did he do that.

…It must have been hard.

When the fact that he was taking on all of this sometimes aroused 격정 [Korean word for ‘passion’ or ‘intense emotion’], he unconsciously put force on the pencil to suppress it.

The atmosphere was strange. The sunset light poured through the window.

After finishing school, after grocery shopping, he gathered the receipts one by one with his small hands, and here, he put force on the pencil to write the household account book.

Lee Hyun-jae got up from his seat and stood in front of the door.

I imagine, the young Ji Dong-hwa, expressionless, but with force in his wrist, pressing down hard on the household account book, occasionally releasing the force in his hand and massaging it a few times, wouldn’t he have accidentally been distracted by that sunset?

A landscape full of 消滅적인 [Likely refers to a destructive or bleak atmosphere] atmosphere. A time that makes you think of death.

Sitting back down, Lee Hyun-jae looked at the household account book with gloomy eyes.

And as soon as he saw the item ‘Mok-hwa Vocal Academy Fee,’ the answers that burst out.

Was Mok-hwa an aspiring celebrity?

So Dong-hwa hyung hated it like hell, but the answer to ‘dance’ is that he went to the academy with his brother to see him?

No, that’s weird. Where is such a fool? Even that level of overprotection is a mental problem.

Lee Hyun-jae got up from his seat again.

He repeatedly got up and sat down as if he was emotionally 불안한 [Korean word for ‘anxious’ or ‘unstable’], so the chair was placed messily.

He opened the door and went out, sitting at the head of Mok-hwa, who was lying on the sofa.

“…Mok-hwa.”

“Why?”

“Have you ever been a trainee or something?”

Suddenly, and tilting his head, Mok-hwa pondered something intently by himself.

Then he shook his head, and then 피식 [Sound of a small, suppressed laugh or smirk].

“No, I’ve never done it once.”

“…Um, I see.”

“Why?”

“No, because you’re handsome.”

Lee Hyun-jae smiled purely and brightly. But his insides were complicated and complicated.

It felt like he was gradually approaching something he shouldn’t know.