Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 77

77.

Filming for everyone’s personal stories, from Lee Hyun-jae to Ryu Yi-deun and Seok-jun, was completed.

It was revealed that they all depended on Joo Ha-na, but in a different way than Chae Ha-min.

And on the day of the incident, it was revealed that a fight with Joo Ha-na occurred due to each of their issues.

However, after that, all I could hear was the truth that there was still a truth to be revealed.

And finally, my filming scene to do.

I close my eyes one last time and check if there are any parts of the script I haven’t memorized.

“…But the problem isn’t the script.”

I don’t know if I can follow this person’s emotional line at all.

I’m not particularly good at acting compared to the other members, so why did this role come to me of all people?

I sighed for now. I have to do it, somehow.

* * *

# ‘Momoji’, ‘There Will Be No Secrets Under Truth’ Edited Version

“…I told her, but the door didn’t open.”

Ryu Yi-deun (Kant) mutters with a half-broken mental state. It seems that revealing his past yesterday was shocking.

“…Actually, did we all kill Hana?”

Seok-jun (Hegel) also stares blankly at the ceiling and mutters.

However, Chae Ha-min (Locke) and Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) remained expressionless.

Then Chae Ha-min (Locke) opens his mouth.

“Nietzsche… is it you?”

A bitter smile hangs on his lips.

“What did you… say to Joo Ha-na?”

“Ha, seriously… that’s why I can’t talk to camels like you.”

Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) shows a sneer at the bitter smile.

“Yes, you guys were the kind of people who lived as others told you to when problems arose. You’re no different from camels. …Are you still a camel, by any chance?” [Here, ‘camel’ is a reference to Nietzsche’s philosophy, representing someone who bears burdens and follows societal norms without questioning.]

Chae Ha-min (Locke), who understood the meaning of the words, pauses for a moment and then quietly mutters. His voice trembles weakly, as if some ominous premonition had arisen in his head.

“…Nietzsche, why don’t you know that what you see and what is real can be different?”

I smirk, raise one corner of my mouth, strum the guitar once, lean back in the chair, and look at Chae Ha-min.

“That’s a slave-like thought. Why don’t you go out and die a little?”

Then everyone’s eyes turn to Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche).

“Did I ask who pulled the trigger two days ago, Locke?”

And Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) ignored all those gazes, closed his eyes, and raised his head.

“I vaguely expected it from the moment I heard Locke’s story…….”

And he opens his eyes, looks at the ceiling, and quietly mutters.

“I think it’s probably me.”

Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) showed a strange expression on his face, filled with a complicated yet confident look that he did not regret.

“Because I liberated all of you.”

The camera zooms in on Ji Dong-hwa this time.

* * *

Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) sits in the classroom and looks at the four people gathered around Joo Ha-na.

“…That’s strange. Those pathetic bastards.”

He sits down and quietly opens his notebook.

And he starts scribbling something there. Followed by Ji Dong-hwa’s narration.

―Is Joo Ha-na really a blessing to Locke?

The sound of pencils continues.

―Locke has abandoned the desire to solve or overcome the problems he faces and is solely dependent on Joo Ha-na. Can a better future exist for him?

Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) judges. The sense of stability that Joo Ha-na provides to them is ultimately nothing more than a shackle that prevents them from overcoming their deficiencies.

―Like young birds who want to stay in the nest forever, thinking that the world outside the nest is death, these four exist. And Joo Ha-na exists like a mother bird who gives them the belief that she will always take care of those young birds.

The narration pauses for a moment and then continues.

―Who broke their wings? Who taught the young birds that they cannot fly on their own?

And when all the narration is over, Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) gets up from his seat. The camera zooms in to show the notebook in its place.

There, four camels were walking through the desert, led by one person’s hand.

* * *

“Joo Ha-na.”

Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) slowly approaches Joo Ha-na, who is alone for the first time in a while.

“Huh? Nietzsche, what’s wrong?”

“Hmm, you seem to be mentally okay.”

After muttering that to himself, Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) sat down next to her.

“…Do you like music?”

Joo Ha-na tilts her head, as if she doesn’t know what his intention is, and then smiles and answers.

“I like all music!”

Thus, the meeting between Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) and Joo Ha-na began.

Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) tried to confirm whether his thoughts were correct, that is, whether Joo Ha-na was really hindering the growth of those four.

One day, in the music room. Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) and Joo Ha-na were listening to each other’s piano performances.

“Wow! Nietzsche, you seem to have real talent.”

“Of course. If you take away music from what I’ve done since I was born, there aren’t many left. I expected something since you said you liked music, but you don’t know anything at all, unlike me.”

Joo Ha-na nodded as she listened to the arrogant answer full of conceit.

“I’m really lacking…….”

“Hmm, is your self-esteem low?”

“Well… maybe.”

Joo Ha-na’s expression suddenly darkens. That’s why Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) thinks.

―In the end… is the mother bird confirming her worth through the young bird?

Therefore, he concluded.

That it is a relationship full of losses for everyone.

It may have been arrogance and it may have been dogmatism, but Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) has always lived believing that he was right.

He thought it was right to cut it off for the sake of those four camels and for Joo Ha-na.

That’s why he stopped playing the piano and spat out a word. And that was probably said for Joo Ha-na more than the four people.

“Joo Ha-na, how long are you going to block those guys’ growth for your own satisfaction? It’s disgustingly deceptive.”

However, he knew that his thoughts were right, but he didn’t know that he wasn’t used to talking to people.

After that day, Joo Ha-na realized that the words she had heard from Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) were always wandering around in her head.

―Nietzsche’s words… seem to be right.

From that day on, scars increased on Joo Ha-na’s wrist.

And when she realized that she was overly dependent on herself while talking with Locke, Hegel, Kant, and Descartes, and when she thought that everyone could live their own lives if only she disappeared, that night 10 years ago came.

The secret of that night that no one expected is revealed in that way.

* * *

Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) laughed after finishing the story. It seemed close to ridicule.

All the members looked at him at Ji Dong-hwa’s (Nietzsche) confession. It was an expression mixed with shock, regret, sadness, and anger.

And in each and every one of those gazes, Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) raised his middle finger and then jumped up from his seat.

“Ha… (beep) like. Yeah, Mr. Truth. Are there no more secrets to Joo Ha-na’s death? What are you going to say now? Did you want to tell us that my arrogance and the dependency of these pathetic morons led to one person’s death?”

Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) bursts into laughter like a madman.

“Ha! Okay! Are you satisfied now? You white-masked psycho?”

“What are you laughing about! Because of you! Because of you, because of those words you spat out!”

Chae Ha-min (Locke) got up from his seat and grabbed Ji Dong-hwa by the collar.

“Yes! Joo Ha-na is dead. Of course, Joo Ha-na is dead! And we killed him! How can we comfort ourselves?”

Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) continues to laugh and faces Chae Ha-min (Locke).

“It’s not us! It’s you!”

Chae Ha-min (Locke) mutters, glaring at Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) as if he would kill him.

“No, we killed him. Locke, accept it and live on. Because of your petty loneliness and affection deficiency, and because of my dogmatism, all of this became one and drove a stake into Joo Ha-na’s heart!”

Ji Dong-hwa (Nietzsche) spits out all the words until the end, even though he speaks each syllable separately because of his drowsy throat.

Chae Ha-min (Locke) threw him to the floor as if pushing him.

And inside the silent mountain lodge. The TV timer stops, and the white-masked man appears again.

“In the name of truth, there will be no secrets under that name.”

And the sound of the machinery that had been tightly locking the mountain lodge is heard to be released. But despite the escape they had been hoping for, no one moved a foot.

* * *

“Cut! That was great! Especially Dong-hwa! You’re a perfect fit for the character.”

…Is that so. I’m really trying my best to figure out if that’s an insult or a compliment.

Being a perfect fit for a character like this crazy person is… probably an insult.

“I was worried at first because they were idols, but I can see that everyone has practiced a lot. Let’s keep going like this.”

The director nods his head in satisfaction and declares a break.

I sat on the sofa, stroking my sleepy neck.

‘…I expected that I would be a key figure from the fact that the victim’s name was Joo Ha-na.’

I didn’t know it would be such a full-fledged story. The most surprising thing is that there can be a PD [Production Director, a common term for a TV or film director in Korea] who has the bizarre idea of unraveling Nietzsche’s anti-Christian tendencies in a drama.

In particular, the line ‘Joo Ha-na is dead. Of course, Joo Ha-na is dead! And we killed him! How can we comfort ourselves?’ is originally the part in Nietzsche’s book where the word God is used instead of Joo Ha-na.

…Is this okay? I didn’t think that freedom of expression in Korean society had grown to this extent yet.

Anyway, one thing was clear: it would become a hot topic, whether negative or positive.

As I was thinking about what would happen to this philosophical drama, Chae Ha-min sat down next to me with a skin soothing cream in his hand.

“Wow, Dong-hwa. Your expression was so scary. I almost cried.”

…That’s right. I was more scared of you, you rabbit bastard. Thanks to Chae Ha-min, who was my co-star, acting so well, I was able to immerse myself more.

And Ryu Yi-deun, who doesn’t miss this opportunity, flows in like water and adds a word.

“Our Dong-hwa’s role is like this again. Cruel Lord Ji Dong-hwa is not going anywhere.”

That’s right. I nod my head at Ryu Yi-deun’s words.

Where.

“…Where did it go wrong from?”

“I think it started with ‘Detection’.”

“…In the end, it’s Jun-sung’s fault.”

There is a huge error in causality, but it’s easier to think it’s Jun-sung’s fault.

“Ah, speaking of Jun-sung hyung [older brother/male friend], I remembered that an article came out?”

Lee Hyun-jae says, sitting on my desk side. As the top authority in the field of public opinion research in our team, he brings up a story that I haven’t even seen.

“…Article?”

“Yes, a speculative article saying that hyung wrote the song that will be included in this album.”

…Hmm, I can’t easily guess what the public is thinking, but I don’t think it’s a very positive opinion. Writing a song by a company junior on a popular singer’s album, the possibility of getting cursed is very high.

“Everyone still doesn’t believe it. Actually, ‘Cloudy Blue’ was a good song, but it’s hard to believe because he’s still a rookie.”

I nod my head at Lee Hyun-jae’s objective analysis.

Come to think of it… Jun-sung’s album will soon be fully outlined.