Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 9

TOT’s leader, Junseong, stood in front of the camera for the first time in a while during his break.

‘I wanted to rest as much as possible, but…’

It had been five years since Nietzsche Entertainment launched a male idol group, and they proposed that he judge their next debut survival show. He readily accepted, wanting to watch the younger trainees he had spent his trainee days with make their debut.

‘This is why affection is scary.’

A vocal trainer from Nietzsche, sitting next to Junseong, asked him,

“Junseong, did you have a good rest?”

“Yes, Teacher! Did you have a good time too?”

“Of course. By the way, do you know any of the kids coming out this time?”

“I overlapped with Eden and Hyeonjae during my trainee days, I guess?”

“Wow, you only know the talented ones, so there won’t be any controversy over biased judging scores.”

He had small talk with the Nietzsche trainers and celebrities in the judges’ seats, and then, 30 seconds before the cue sign, he took a deep breath and put on a smile.

* * *

‘Ha, even finding good points is tiring when I keep doing it.’

After watching three trainees ruin their stages, Junseong was about to give only serious criticism, but he thought, ‘It’s their first stage,’ and forced himself to mention one good point for each of them.

He was heartbroken when he saw Lee Hyeonjae, whom he was quite close to, mess up half of his stage. …He shouldn’t be this bad, definitely. Why is he like this?

While the next stage was being prepared, Junseong took a moment to catch his breath and began to look at the next trainee’s profile.

“This friend prepared a self-composed song?”

“Ah, trainee Ji Donghwa.”

“A self-composed song on the first stage of a survival show, he must be very confident. What about his skills?”

At that question, the vocal trainer lowered his voice slightly, implying it would be edited out.

“Actually, he came in as a replacement for the kids who got kicked out for school violence in the middle, so I don’t know exactly, but he was quite good when he auditioned.”

‘So, am I finally going to see a decent stage now…’

He didn’t take on the survival show judging to see stages like this, so he hoped this one would at least be stage-worthy.

The standby signal came on, and the stage gradually went dark. Not long after the blackout, a magnificent orchestral sound rang out.

The beginning of ‘Thus Spoke Zarathustra’.

Amidst the heart-pounding drums and the chilling sound of brass instruments, the sharp sound of stringed instruments swept past. And at that moment, a pin light came on, illuminating the center of the stage, and the performance stopped abruptly.

The magnificent introduction made it seem like a hero would appear, but the one who revealed himself in the light was a nerd wearing round glasses, a checkered shirt, shorts, and long socks. Ji Donghwa was pathetically looking around, seemingly anxious.

Junseong couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the sight. What kind of concept is that?

In the silent atmosphere, Ji Donghwa took a step forward with what could only be described as a petty gait.

Then, a bass guitar riff flowed out. It grabbed the ear and stimulated the sense of rhythm.

As the drums came in on the bass riff and the bouncy rhythm of the keyboard spread, Ji Donghwa raised his hand microphone.

Zarathustra said, God is dead

So no one knows how to live

‘…What is he saying?’

Junseong, who had been admiring the pleasant song, felt a sense of bewilderment at the lyrics that sounded like nonsense from the introduction.

However, before he could seriously think about that question, the song gradually rose and continued with an exciting atmosphere. The lyrics were still nonsense, but the excitement made him reflexively tap his fingers.

Ji Donghwa also gradually erased his initial anxiety in accordance with the rising atmosphere of the song, straightened his shoulders as if he were confident, and looked straight ahead with determined eyes. The song also went up to a high note, enhancing the excitement of the song.

In this world of eternal recurrence, a moment I’ve never lived

In the sense of a created life, the posture of a superman I overcame and discovered myself

Then, a dull beat began to increase its speed, conveying to the listener that something was about to explode, and at the moment when the beat reached its peak, the music stopped for a moment.

Then a bite, Wiener, Schnitzel

The sound of the crispy batter spreading the moment the lyrics ended as if dropping.

Ji Donghwa held the microphone with both hands to match the sound of the batter breaking and playfully smiled and pretended to bite.

After that, an attractive saxophone sound appeared as if bursting out. The notes that were cut off and popped out seemed to be bouncing around on the stage.

Ji Donghwa took off his glasses to match it and loosened the buttons of his shirt as if tearing them off, revealing the black t-shirt he was wearing inside.

Then he started dancing with an excited expression.

Ji Donghwa’s appearance, making small jumps and continuing hand movements while making the most of his elegant dance lines, was like a person who had been imprisoned for days enjoying the moment of liberation.

Wiener, Schnitzel

When Wiener Schnitzel rang out for the second time, the saxophone performance was transformed more cheerfully, and Ji Donghwa changed his previous energetic movements slightly heavily, slamming his hands into the air and leaning forward, and began to wave smoothly.

Junseong blankly stared at the sight, now completely forgetting his questions about the lyrics, and just started to enjoy the rhythm.

If you think of it as a pop song that you just listen to without knowing the lyrics because the song is good, it would be difficult to find a more exciting song than this.

And it’s not just the song. The sight of Ji Donghwa releasing the clothes he had been stuffily wrapped in and dancing freely made him feel as if something was being resolved on its own.

His voice stretched out coolly to match it, reminiscent of a bird flying freely.

You too, bite, Wiener, Schnitzel

With the rustling sound, Ji Donghwa once again playfully lifted the microphone with both hands and pretended to chew, and the song ended.

Most of the judges smiled and applauded with excitement. It was an applause filled with sincerity that was comparable to the previous stages.

Junseong picked up the microphone first.

“First of all, I listened well and watched well. I’m also impressed that it’s a self-composed song. Did the A&R [Artists and Repertoire] team take charge of the arrangement?”

No matter how good the song is, the key to this song is the saxophone sound. If Ji Donghwa only composed the melody line, it would be a bit disappointing to call it a self-composed song, so Junseong wanted to check that first.

“I also participated in the arrangement.”

“Whose idea was the saxophone?”

Then the A&R team leader picked up the microphone and opened his mouth instead of Ji Donghwa.

“When he first brought it, it was almost 70 percent complete.”

Junseong, who knew that the A&R team leader was not the type to lie, admired and looked at Ji Donghwa.

“To be honest, I didn’t think a trainee could come up with this kind of song. Of course, your dancing and singing skills aren’t bad either, but this stage confirmed that Donghwa’s biggest weapon is composing. I really enjoyed it.”

Then Ji Donghwa paused slightly, as if he hadn’t expected it at all, then bit his lip tightly and quietly bowed his head.

‘He must be touched.’

Well, a senior idol praised the song he wrote and participated in the arrangement, so he deserves to be touched, Junseong thought and put down the microphone.

In the midst of the subsequent praise from the judges, Ji Donghwa regained his composure and began to listen to the judging comments without being disturbed, with an expression that seemed almost cold.

It was hard to believe that he was the person who was excited earlier and even played a playful joke at the end.

* * *

I thought as I watched the relay of compliments continuing before my eyes.

‘Why doesn’t anyone point out the lyrics?’

I’m a little upset. I was so upset that I even bit my lip earlier. No one is paying attention to the terribly pedantic lyrics I deliberately wrote by quoting Nietzsche’s philosophy in order to be criticized, isn’t that too much?

My plan was to possess Nietzsche the moment the lyrics were pointed out and explain the theory in a long and verbose manner.

Then I thought I could engrave the nerd image close to my essence into the viewers and reveal the truth that ‘The me you guys like is just a nerd!’

But why doesn’t anyone ask about the lyrics at all?

‘An unexpected failure.’

Just as I was gradually acknowledging that my plan had failed, the A&R team leader opened his mouth for the last time.

“By the way, about the lyrics.”

That’s right. I looked at the A&R team leader with expectant eyes. Please point out what nonsense I wrote!

“I was impressed by the way you expressed the burning will to challenge a new world using Nietzsche’s philosophy.”

…Huh? I barely managed to hold back the sound of my soul escaping.

The other judges began to exclaim that that was what it was.

“It was a lyric that suited the stage of . It also captured the feeling that the trainee is enjoying his life and challenging his debut. It’s a big problem that you wrote it so that you can’t understand it at all if you don’t know Nietzsche’s philosophy, but the intention itself was understood. Have you usually been interested in Nietzsche’s philosophy?”

“…Yes.”

“I see. Anyway, personally, it was such a good song that I wanted to revise the lyrics together and release it as a song.”

‘Wow, I’m completely screwed.’

Suddenly, it became like I was serious about the survival show to the point of quoting Nietzsche’s philosophy in the lyrics, but I’m still inexperienced, so I came up with these lyrics.

My composing skills themselves are excellent, but I’m still an inexperienced trainee who performed on stage with a slightly lacking song, and even though I don’t know the idol scene at all, I don’t think this will be negatively received.

I tried to hide my bewildered feelings at the finished judging comments and went inside. And on the way in, a sudden ominous feeling flashed through my head.

‘Maybe I… can’t be the first to be eliminated?’

* * *

Let’s organize it. I sat in the waiting room, cooling off, and began to think about how I ended up in this situation.

Okay, first things first.

1. I absolutely had no plans to become an idol.

2. But I was worried about taking away the opportunity of other trainees, and I also had 5 million won on the line, so I decided to do my best until I was eliminated.

3. I thought I would be the first to be eliminated because of my personality, but I heard that the reaction was better than expected, so I even changed the lyrics to be difficult to understand in order to let people know that I’m not the type that idol fans would like.

However, that plan ended as a sweet daydream overnight thanks to the judging comments of the knowledgeable A&R team leader.

How… did things turn out like this.

Then Chae Hamin woke me up from my thoughts by tapping me on the shoulder.

“Donghwa, I didn’t know what the lyrics meant at first, but was it philosophical?”

“…Uh.”

“Wow, as expected of a Korea University philosophy student!”

Wait, this flow is also ominous.

Thanks to Chae Hamin’s tactless loud voice, a wide range of people began to look our way. Even the staff who were filming the waiting room scene looked this way.

“What, Donghwa, you’re a Korea University student?”

Ryoo Eden was also startled and said as he approached us. The other trainees were also looking with curious expressions, even though they weren’t close enough to me to ask.

“…I’m an incoming freshman.”

“Wow, I guess the world is really unfair.”

Mr. Ryoo Eden, please stop now because it’s humiliating.

“If one human has this much composing skill, this much face, and this much intelligence, wouldn’t it be okay to call it God’s mistake?”

It’s shameful.

Unable to endure the waiting room atmosphere that continued to praise me, I went outside, saying I was going to the bathroom. On the way out, I heard Chae Hamin’s voice saying to Ryoo Eden, ‘Did you see his ears?’ from inside, but I decided to ignore it for now. I went into the bathroom and washed my hands.

…Wait, let’s think positively. Can’t the nerd image I was trying to convey also be conveyed by being a Korea University student?

Yes, isn’t the image of Korea University students known to the world a nerd who falls asleep while reading a thesis?

Okay, with this, I hope that idol fans will realize my true nature and turn to supporting other trainees… yes, if possible, I hope they turn to supporting Chae Hamin.

Good. Not bad. I sincerely wished for a future where people’s reactions that they couldn’t possibly become a fan of a nerd would pour out like bamboo shoots on this foundation.