Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 92

92.

“Congratulations on being nominated for first place today.”

A staff member cautiously opens their mouth. Last week, we had just made our comeback, so the scores weren’t tallied, and the rankings weren’t announced, but this week was different.

According to Jang Hae-jin, we were doing surprisingly well for a male idol’s song, ranking in the 30s, so being nominated for first place was a breeze.

According to Ryu Iden, it was strangely a ‘vacant house’ this time, so it wouldn’t be bad to take advantage of it. [A ‘vacant house’ refers to a situation where there are few strong competitors.]

…It feels strange to think that many singers are having their comebacks delayed or ruined because of this small ball I’ve set in motion.

Did Gijisaeng even predict this?

[You have many unnecessary worries. I didn’t expect you to solve it this way.]

Come to think of it, does it make sense that a guy who predicts every possibility wouldn’t predict how I would move?

[It’s a trivial concern.]

…Is that so?

Anyway, I focus on the staff member’s words again.

“That being said, we’re going to decide on the ending fairy before the pre-recording rehearsal.”

In music shows, there’s a culture defined by the strange term ‘ending fairy.’ This culture is very unique, where one member’s face is shown for about 7 to 10 seconds after the stage ends. Personally, I hate it very much.

“Should Dong-hwa be the ending fairy for today?”

So, after the rehearsal, I almost frowned at what I heard. The thought of being alone in a frame for 10 seconds makes me feel like I’m experiencing an existential crisis. In other words, it makes me wonder if living like this is the right thing to do.

“Ah, I remember Dong-hwa not knowing what to do in front of the camera last time.”

“Hyung, I still have that saved on my phone.”

“Me too. I bet Luminus [Blossom’s fan base name] all have one of Dong-hwa hyung being flustered, right?”

“Y-yes.”

Anyway, they’re all a bunch of damn bastards. Unpleasant bastards. Treating someone else’s shameful past like this is extremely unethical.

“Everyone, delete it.”

“Is Ji Dong-hwa using honorifics after a long time? It’s really scary.”

Whatever, it’s confirmed that Ryu Iden must be killed. It must be the right thing to do from a utilitarian perspective.

“What are you going to do this time, Dong-hwa? Should I come up with an ending pose with you?”

Cha Ha-min’s suggestion… I have no choice but to accept it. Since I think about every gesture on stage in advance, I can’t suddenly strike a pose with ad-libs.

I nod with the heart of a fallen aristocrat swallowing poison.

“Oh! Great. Then what should we start with? Aegyo [acting cute] is the default!”

Shut up. And stop it with that aegyo nonsense. For me, who hasn’t fully established my persona as an idol, it’s no different from a death sentence.

Perhaps my dark psychology was revealed in my expressionless face, because Cha Ha-min slowly examines my expression and then laughs.

“Well, since the song concept is what it is, should we do something a little cooler?”

…Why is it okay to be caught on camera with everyone, but so shameful to be caught alone?

* * *

# HBS Music in Your Area Broadcast

Rising star Jane, the ‘district chief (MC),’ smiles slightly as she looks at the script and says,

“The hottest rookies of the year have invaded our district! They will fill the world with flowers!”

The male district chief, Aiden, takes over the words.

“They make you wonder if it’s the end or the beginning!”

And together, they shout.

“It’s Blossom’s ‘The First Last’!”

For reference, Aiden ends up mumbling the English part at the end of the title.

On the real-time bulletin board of Music in Your Area, the reaction was mostly ‘It’s understandable.’ Because the title was a bit strange.

The stage begins, Ji Dong-hwa stands alone in the center, and then the other members walk up and grab Ji Dong-hwa’s neck as if to strangle him, then release him.

I was on Fire, maybe you’re Trauma,

A perfect downfall

You’re always at the end, a word I always want to say,

Nothing But You

Ji Dong-hwa’s eyes sparkle with obsession. Spitting out all the lyrics and subtly smiling, he had the gaze of a snake coiling around its prey.

His black hair, which he has never dyed, shines blue for a moment as it catches the light. His fair skin and black hair, along with his black leather jacket, create a strange impression.

The viewers who were watching Music in Your Area were a little overwhelmed by the sharp impression of the beginning. On the real-time bulletin board, the short sentence ‘Who’s the black hair just now?’ ran quickly.

Chorus.

Lee Hyun-jae and Seok-joon exchange parts, stepping on the staff and turning their wrists counterclockwise.

Rewind— Your end and mine become the beginning,

Above my time— Everything is revived

(I Trade My All, Just for the Last)

Rewind— The sun and moon are reversed,

At the end of my gaze— Everything goes back

(I Desert My All, Cause It’s the Last)

The attention and interest drawn by Ji Dong-hwa’s intense start and the chorus’s neat choreography explode in Cha Ha-min’s solo dance that follows.

In the end, this song was like the process of running towards Cha Ha-min’s solo dance from the moment Ji Dong-hwa first composed it.

After burning everything and the song calms down to some extent, Cha Ha-min and Ryu Iden stand back-to-back, looking up at the sky and harmonizing.

An hourglass turning upside down, I’ll whisper eternity

Every end, I hope this time is the last beginning

And the moment the two of them sit down, Ji Dong-hwa appears. It’s time to prepare to be the ending fairy.

Ji Dong-hwa, who was looking straight ahead, puts on his glasses expressionlessly, takes out a notebook and pencil from his pocket, contemplates something, and then scribbles.

And finally, after writing everything, he smiles warmly and lifts it up to show it.

‘I like you.’

The man with a cold impression, with neatly written letters, suddenly transforms into a nerdy human being, confessing with a warm smile.

The viewers were embarrassed but amused, so they looked closely at the screen and discovered it. Ears flushed, unlike his relaxed expression.

As a result, on the bulletin board,

— Don’t stop him from seducing me first.

— Let’s get married

— Are you crazy, really

Numerous sighs flowed out.

* * *

After finishing the HBS music show, we were just waiting for the first place announcement. We did the pre-recording and the time was ambiguous, so I had been lying down until now, and I was exhausted.

Nominated for first place. It’s a very honorable name. Nevertheless, these guys leisurely gathered around me and,

“I like you!”

“I like you!”

“I—like—you!”

They were just shouting with one heart and one mind.

“Everyone… get out.”

Only Lee Hyun-jae was looking at us with mature eyes, making a pitiful expression. Instead of doing that, wouldn’t you help me chase these guys away?

The day Cha Ha-min asked the fans about the pledge through SNS last time, we confirmed and declared the pledge.

“…What if we get first place?”

Therefore, if we were to get first place, even by any chance,

“We have to dance wearing Wizney costumes!”

We have to do something bizarre.

The members, who were busy teasing me, liked the topic I had newly presented and exchanged opinions.

“Since our activity period overlaps with Halloween, wouldn’t it be okay to do it on a music show?”

…Well, I’ve known for a long time that you guys have no connection with shame.

“Wow, that would be fun too, hyung.”

Ryu Iden smiled, then suddenly frowned and brought up another negative observation.

“But, can we even get first place? It’s a complete vacant house, so we broke through as soon as we made a comeback.”

The reason we were nominated for first place last time was because we became an unintended topic, and also because it became a ‘vacant house’ around the last week. [Again, meaning fewer strong competitors.]

“Well, the Girls of Some Day seniors who were nominated for first place with us this time are in their last week of activities, so it’s impossible this week, but maybe there’s a possibility next week? If we go until the week after next, there are a few new comebacks, but we might be able to get first place for about a week.”

Lee Hyun-jae looked at the tablet, summarized the situation, and came to a conclusion. Lee Hyun-jae’s conclusions based on data analysis are often correct, so I guess it will be the same this time.

……Damn it.

Then, in the end, I have to do that Wizney cosplay.

“Dong-hwa hyung! I’ll decide in advance what kind of cosplay you should do!”

The fact that Wizney and I are overly connected these days, it’s all… because of that Seok-joon.

I glared at Seok-joon once, but I was just disillusioned and took out a book to read.

‘The Location of Culture’.

As Sartre argued, books are a great escape where you can escape from all external gazes.

* * *

While I was reading a book, the standby news came.

Lee Hyun-jae is better at analyzing this kind of thing than I am, so I think it’s okay to go up with a light heart.

As I stood by on the left side based on the MC’s position, Yoon Seong-ho made a small fighting gesture with both hands.

And soon, the broadcast cue. Since it’s a live broadcast, I manage my expression as much as possible. Since there is a high probability that the other party will win first place, I have to show a congratulatory appearance to avoid becoming prey for the damn things that reside on the internet.

“Yes, Music in Your Area, we are only two weeks away from announcing the first place!”

“District Chief Jane, I’m so curious who will be in first place!”

A person named Aiden shows off a strange aegyo. I have to do my best not to sit in such a position.

“Then, District Chief Aiden! Shall we find out right away?”

And soon after, the score screen is uploaded to the screen installed on the stage side.

‘…Expression management. If I’m too expressionless, it will cause a riot, so smile slightly, clap, and look to the right.’

And all the scores are revealed, and confetti explodes. I naturally move my body as planned.

Smile, applause, benevolence. Everything is perfect.

……If there was one problem, it would be that Lee Hyun-jae was wrong.

“Congratulations, Blossom!”

In a situation where all the members are embarrassed, I am the only one clapping and looking at the people next to me. I freeze in that state.

……Is there any way to interpret this other than deception?

I quickly change my expression, return to an expressionless face, and bow slightly. I can’t cause trouble for the members by becoming controversial.

I hear Yoon Seong-ho snickering behind me. Damn it. I didn’t know that faith in Lee Hyun-jae would become a dagger.

Jane, who is familiar with us, smiles brightly and hands over the trophy.

“Wow! Blossom everyone! Please tell us your first place impressions.”

However, Ryu Iden, who was supposed to say his impressions, sheds tears. The other members were the same. I, the only one who is sane, took the microphone first and spoke.

The fact that Lee Hyun-jae was wrong, the mistake I made because of it, and the stress that had been building up unknowingly due to Yoon Seong-ho’s work, comeback preparations, and schedules. All of those things were heading in one direction as if planned.

……What should I say, damn it, damn leader, you’re not helping in times like this.

I opened my mouth first.

“……I like you.”

After that, a quiet silence.

In the midst of the chaotic situation, I unknowingly blurted out the words I had been brainwashed with during breaks.

Puh.

A laughter mixed with tears echoes from Ryu Iden’s side. Now that it’s come to this, I have no choice but to push through to the end. I know from experience that the only way to make a mistake not a mistake is to have an insane amount of shamelessness.

“……Luminus, thank you for always supporting us and I like you. Our Cotton [another name for their fans], hyung likes you a lot. Company people, I like you. Everyone, I like you.”

……It’s no use regretting it after spitting it out, damn it.

And even in the midst of that, watching Cha Ha-min, Lee Hyun-jae, and Seok-joon hugging each other and crying, I bowed my head.

I can only lament why the most glorious day has turned out like this.