Black Killer Whale Baby [EN]: Chapter 93

Black Orca Baby (93)

Chapter 93

It started with a single tear. Soon, thick tears began to fall.

“…I can’t take it anymore.”

I covered my face with both hands.

I sobbed, trying to stifle the sorrowful cries.

After facing Mom and Dad, the first day was just a blur.

The scene I witnessed was simply astonishing and shocking, and then I was in a daze again.

The next day, I was in denial.

Mom and Dad loved me so much; there’s no way they would reject me.

They remember me, so all I have to do is go back, right?

And the next day, I finally realized.

‘Even if I go back… there’s no place for me.’

I had to admit it. The place I could return to had disappeared.

I had to accept it, come to terms with it, and negotiate with myself.

Despair began to settle in my heart.

Since the place to return to had vanished, now this was the only place left.

Here…

Why? Why on earth?

As I accepted everything, a sense of helplessness and depression washed over me.

My place is gone.

Even so, it wasn’t that I didn’t consider going back home.

But what if I went back and Mom and Dad turned away from me?

I was an adopted child. In other words, a child who becomes an orphan again if her parents abandon her.

Why do I always have to live in anxiety?

In fact, even though I grew up loved by Mom and Dad, I was always anxious.

Afraid that my parents might have their own child someday, and that I would be abandoned then.

My parents promised that would never happen, but whenever I was exhausted and nightmares struck, I always dreamed of being abandoned.

I longed for unconditional love.

How does one receive love without having to earn it?

What should I live for now?

“Sniff, waah, sob… hng.”

I tried hard to cover my mouth, afraid that sobs would escape.

I’ll just cry today, just until today, and think about it tomorrow.

So, just today…

“You even cry in your own way.”

Surprised by the voice that shouldn’t be heard here, I lifted my head.

Under the deep shadows of the trees, Master stood like a pillar.

I quickly wiped away my tears, startled.

“Oh, Master? Oh, it’s, well, you see. How did you get here? Is something wrong?”

“…”

“Ah, I fell, and it hurt, so I cried a little… like a child.”

“…”

“Master?”

Master didn’t answer. Instead, my body floated into the air.

It was a familiar feeling of levitation, but today it felt strangely uncomfortable.

“You, who didn’t cry even when your face was torn in a brawl, are crying just because you fell? I can hardly believe that.”

“…Was that excuse too terrible, after all?”

“Yes.”

Ah, I guess this was too flimsy of an excuse.

It seemed too late to deny it, so I just entrusted my body to the water current and stared ahead.

I was at exactly the same eye level as Master.

“Come to think of it, I’ve never seen you cry before.”

As Master walked closer, his bright blue eyes were revealed under the moonlight.

“While walking here, I thought about when I was your age.”

“…Wow, I can’t even imagine Master being three years old.”

“You don’t have to force yourself to answer if you don’t want to.”

“…”

“Thinking about it, if there’s one thing you and I have in common, it’s the absence of tears.”

“…”

“I thought you would only cry when you were left alone, like me.”

I chuckled softly.

How little you know. I have so many tears.

It’s just that they disappeared after three regressions, okay?

Well, for the current me, that statement isn’t wrong either.

At the same time as I smiled, tears streamed down, no. Tears poured down.

“It’s unfair. Why, why don’t you just let me cry? Why bother talking to me, making me show it off?”

“…”

“Master, you could have just not made a sound, not said anything, and just passed by…!”

It was the first truly heartfelt resentment that had burst out. Master listened silently and then said.

“The real unfairness isn’t that, is it?”

“…”

At the words that had hit the nail right on the head, instead of pretending to be okay, I frowned deeply and bit my lip.

Anyone would have been fine right now.

It felt like it didn’t matter who listened to me.

“It’s unfair. No one has lived as hard as I have.”

“…”

“But why is my life like this?”

Thick tears burst out. I hated it. I really hated it.

“Why?”

I hated myself even more for finding my own faults.

Dad didn’t laugh at me for saying such things at the mere age of three. He didn’t look at me strangely either.

That made the sorrow that had been festering inside me seep out.

Master, you’re unnecessarily kind.

“It’s so unfair, I… I wanted to live well too.”

It’s not like I ever wanted to live like this.

What did I do wrong?

“I wanted to be happy.”

Why do the things I wish for always disappear like bubbles?

I couldn’t say any more and I just sobbed, crying sorrowfully.

There were so many things I wanted to say, but they were pushed back by sorrow and couldn’t form into words.

“…I doubt you’d answer if I asked what’s unfair.”

A cold hand touched my cheek.

Even if that hand wiped away the tears, the newly湧out [overflowing] tears soaked it.

Next to Master, a cluster of water droplets formed and stuck to my cheek.

“Should I create a world where you don’t feel unfair?”

The warm water droplets took away my tears.

It felt like they were wiping them away, though I should say they were absorbing them.

Through my barely cleared vision, I could see Master’s face.

“Then will you stop?”

That face was the most lost, clueless face I had ever seen.

A face filled with concern and worry.

“What made our daughter so sad, huh?”

“Dad will make you an ice cream kingdom!”

Those who have been loved remember the faces of those who love them.

“Then will our princess stop?”

Dad, isn’t calling me princess something you only do to me?

No, no.

It’s okay even if it’s not.

Just… just…

…Just call me family too.

Why did you tell me to forget?

I decided to acknowledge it. It was too hard.

I was tired of compromising with this sorrow that had built up in my heart.

“Dad.”

Pierre’s eyes widened.

“Hic, I’m, I’m so tired. Dad.”

From the family meeting, or perhaps even before that, without me knowing.

On the journey to the Dragon City, I felt the warmth of the approaching body temperature and the embracing hands.

“Master, then, do you love me as a daughter?”

A person who doesn’t see me as a child, doesn’t know how to raise a child, and is sometimes indifferent and prickly.

Even so, I saw the face of my dad who had begun to love me.

…If I reach out my hand, he won’t turn away.

“Hold me. Please hold me…”

As I reached out my hand, Dad reached out his hand with a dazed expression.

Soon, in the warm embrace that came, I grabbed Dad’s clothes and cried.

Calling him Dad, Dad, over and over again. I think I also poured out my resentment about why he did that to me.

But he wouldn’t have been able to understand these muffled sounds because I was crying.

A low sigh was heard from above my head.

“…I’ve been waiting for this day, but I never thought I’d hear it with such a face.”

However, the arms that firmly embraced me didn’t let go.

While I was still crying in his arms with the sorrow I couldn’t release, the hand that embraced my back hesitated and moved.

It gently and carefully touched me, and then, awkwardly patted me.

In the clumsy and unfamiliar patting, I closed my eyes.

The patting continued until we returned near the bonfire.

* * *

It was truly a stormy cry.

And like leaving traces of a typhoon that had swept through, the crying that had made me sob left tremendous aftereffects on my face in a short amount of time.

‘Wow, wow, he’s staring, he’s staring.’

I slowly avoided the gaze that was staring so hard it felt like the back of my head was burning.

‘Damn it, I didn’t know my eyes could swell up so easily…!’

Bellus was staring with an unbelievable gaze, and I couldn’t bring myself to face him.

No, well… I was also embarrassed.

But I had no regrets.

Because I felt relieved. It’s the positive effect of crying.

Yeah, I’m a kid. I can cry because I’m a kid!

The problem is that these tears are still welling up even though I’ve regained my reason.

Currently, I was comfortably nestled in Dad’s arms, sitting in front of the crackling bonfire.

I quickly wiped away my tears and tugged at Dad’s clothes.

“Dad… he’s glaring at me.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Tell him to lower his eyes.”

Dad turned his head. I could feel him looking at Bellus coldly.

“You heard that, right? She wants you to lower them.”

“…I’ll go into the carriage first.”

Good. He’s someone who wouldn’t listen if I told him, and someone who wouldn’t understand even if Dad spoke nicely.

So, when I threatened him with force, he obediently went inside.

With an expression that he couldn’t understand until the end.

‘Why are you looking at me like I’m a monster? A three-year-old can cry too.’

I had already soaked three handkerchiefs that the maids had brought with concern.

But the tears still wouldn’t stop.

I wonder if I’ll be able to sleep like this.

That’s when it happened. A small hand suddenly reached out towards my face.

I was surprised and grabbed it, then let it go.

The protagonist who reached out his hand was none other than Ekion.