Born As The Daughter Of A Lowly Concubine [EN]: Chapter 28

I was born as the daughter of a low-ranking concubine at the age of 28.

The Crown Prince’s funeral is said to be a ceremonial burial (禮葬), not a state funeral (國葬). [A ceremonial burial is a funeral held with less formality and expense than a state funeral.]

It’s not like I didn’t already know this.

The Crown Princess’s funeral was also called a ceremonial burial. But it was truly one of the pieces of information I least wanted to know in my life.

‘I can’t open my eyes.’

It seemed someone had taken me back to my chambers after I fell asleep crying again.

Still, my eyes felt refreshed, so they must have put a cool towel on them.

I was awake, but I didn’t want to move, so I just sprawled out on the warm floor.

Lying here blankly, I was reminded of my parents’ funerals.

Did I fall asleep like this back then too?

No, back then, I was busy arranging the funeral hall and various procedures, and later, greeting mourners.

Besides, I had a long time to prepare myself, having spent so much time in the hospital.

I naturally knew from some point that it couldn’t go on any longer.

So, I was rather calm at the funeral hall.

Ah, I remember.

During my parents’ funeral preparations, I was composed but suddenly burst into tears during the encoffining [the placing of the body in a coffin].

But this time, I couldn’t even see his last moments.

It was so absurd, but here, the funeral proceeded smoothly without me doing anything, so I think I just kept repeating crying, sleeping, crying, sleeping.

Thanks to that, I don’t even know how many days have passed.

“They say the body isn’t intact.”

“Shh, be quiet. The young lady might hear.”

The young palace maids gossiping about the Crown Prince outside the door could be heard clearly.

“The guards who were with him are all dead or injured, oh my, what to do.”

“They say only the Jwaseseuma [a royal guard] survived unscathed.”

“They say he caught a tiger.”

“Did he catch the tiger after everyone died?”

“Well, it seems there was more than one.”

“They say tigers used to jump into the palace in the past, oh my goodness.”

If they were just gossiping for fun, I would go out and scold them, but these palace maids were genuinely scared.

‘Thanks to that, I learned things easily.’

Even if they were flustered, no fool would tell a six-year-old child about the Crown Prince’s death, but amidst the chaos, I was able to grasp the situation to some extent through the whispers here and there.

But I still needed to hear it properly.

‘I need to go meet the Jwaseseuma.’

He was the only one who saw the Crown Prince’s last moments.

“They say the remains eaten by the tiger are being burned, in case the tiger comes back.”

“But what if it really chases us here? You know, there are strange rumors going around these days. That they saw tiger footprints, or a ghost…….”

Bang-

“Oh my goodness.”

The palace maids, who were in the middle of a gruesome conversation, jumped up in surprise when I opened the door.

One young palace maid hurriedly ran to call the other nannies.

Perhaps they were also secretly crying somewhere, talking about the Crown Prince.

“Young lady, have you risen (起寢) [woken up]?”

“Yeah. I have somewhere to go.”

“……It would be best to have some water first.”

As soon as I tried to leave, the nannies, already used to my temper, gave up on stopping me and started taking care of me first.

“Do you know where the Jwaseseuma is?”

“Pardon?”

The nannies’ sharp gazes turned to the young palace maids who had been guarding my sleeping quarters.

They’ll probably get scolded later. Since everyone seemed unwilling to speak, only saying they didn’t know, I decided to just go find someone who would know.

***

The place I went to was the Royal Clinic.

“Young lady, what brings you here at this hour?”

“I want to meet the Jwaseseuma, do you know where he is?”

“Please wait just a moment.”

Thanks to the royal physician who recognized me and spoke to me first, finding the Jwaseseuma was easy.

He was receiving treatment.

‘They said he was unscathed.’

Rumors can’t be trusted after all.

The Jwaseseuma had bandages wrapped all over his face, so I could only see half of it properly, and the oozing pus made it clear that he was seriously injured.

If “unscathed” meant that his limbs were still attached, then that would be true.

“Are you okay?”

“Princess?”

“You don’t need to get up, just lie down.”

“No, I’m fine.”

Perhaps because of the guilt of not protecting the Crown Prince, the Jwaseseuma couldn’t look me in the eye properly.

“Sorry, I know you’re not feeling well. But I thought asking the Jwaseseuma would be the most accurate.”

Seeing the Jwaseseuma’s appearance, I couldn’t help but imagine what the Crown Prince’s last moments must have been like, and my hand trembled without me realizing it. As if noticing my condition, the Jwaseseuma also refrained from speaking.

“I don’t think you should hear it.”

“I have to hear it.”

“……The Crown Prince said he couldn’t win against your stubbornness, and I think that’s true.”

“…….”

Tears welled up again at the mention of the Crown Prince, so I also looked away.

“But the Crown Prince…….”

“I know it was a tiger attack (虎患) [a disaster caused by tigers], so don’t hide anything.”

It was a story about a person being killed by a tiger, so it wasn’t a story to tell a young child.

The Jwaseseuma also seemed troubled, carefully choosing his words as he began to tell the story.

“……After that, due to the sudden heavy snowfall, only the Crown Prince and a few of us guards were separated from the group.”

That day, the Crown Prince’s party, waiting for the snowfall to subside, hurried to return. But instead, the horse slipped on the snowy road, and the Crown Prince fell.

Fortunately, the Crown Prince, who was not seriously injured, was about to get on the Jwaseseuma’s horse instead of his own, which could not get up, when a tiger appeared as if waiting for that moment.

Was it because of the blood-stained clothes?

The tiger relentlessly chased the Crown Prince, who barely managed to get on the horse.

While the guards diverted the tiger’s attention and escorted the Crown Prince, the Jwaseseuma risked his life to confront the tiger.

“It was an old tiger. Its movements were slow, so I was barely able to inflict a fatal wound with just a strong bow (强弓) [a powerful bow].”

Even the Chakhogapsa (捉虎甲士) [tiger hunters] did not do the dangerous act of catching a tiger alone.

So, it could only be said that he was lucky. Until then.

He left behind the horse that could no longer run due to the tiger’s attack and followed the traces left in the snow to find the Crown Prince’s party, who had escaped.

But they, whom he thought had escaped safely…….

“I am sorry. It was my fault.”

Tigers mostly act alone, but there are always exceptions.

Those who thought they were safe had been turned into a gruesome sight by another tiger’s attack.

And the Jwaseseuma had used up all his arrows catching a tiger just moments before.

Facing another tiger with such an exhausted body was as good as having no chance of returning alive.

All that was left was a sword he was wearing on his waist.

He barely managed to inflict a wound, but the tiger’s paw brushed his head, and he lost consciousness and fell.

Perhaps if he had been just a little slower to avoid it, he would have died instantly.

He barely regained consciousness, but the tiger’s fangs were approaching in his blurred vision.

At the thought that it was over, he gave up everything and closed his eyes, when, with the sound of cutting through the wind, the tiger, which seemed about to cut off the Jwaseseuma’s breath, suddenly twisted its body and howled.

An arrow was embedded in the tiger’s side.

And another arrow was embedded in the tiger.

At the same time, he heard the voice of the Crown Prince, whom he thought was already dead.

‘You’re my opponent! Come after me!’

He should have just run away.

The foolish Crown Prince foolishly risked his own life to save his guard.

He had to stop him, but his body wouldn’t move, and he lost consciousness.

“And when I opened my eyes again, I was the only one who survived.”

He dragged his injured body and followed the tiger’s tracks, and there were the wounded, panting tiger and the incomplete bodies scattered here and there, as if it had eaten them.

It was possible to distinguish who they were by the remaining clothes and belongings. In particular, it was not difficult to recognize the Crown Prince’s attire.

Without a moment’s hesitation, he cut off the tiger’s last breath with the sword of his dead comrade, and as if the tension had been released, he lost consciousness again.

He said that it was also his job to be found by the soldiers, receive first aid, and confirm whose bodies they were.

“Moreover, the Crown Prince had a picture of the Grand Prince and the Princess in his arms…….”

“……How like my brother.”

At the Jwaseseuma’s words that he had identified the body, I sighed, pressing my stinging eyes.

He should have run away.

Foolishly.

But the Crown Prince was that kind of person.

It was such a Crown Prince-like ending that I felt a little calmer.

“Thank you for telling me. Sorry for bothering a sick person. Get some rest.”

“I am sorry.”

The Jwaseseuma said that he had asked the king for punishment for failing to protect the Crown Prince, but it was not accepted.

Perhaps he had the same thought as me.

‘I resent him, but if I punish this person, the Crown Prince’s death will become meaningless.’

Surely the Crown Prince wouldn’t want that.

I stepped outside, trying to soothe my complicated feelings.

Perhaps because the story was long, the sky had already darkened.

“Young lady. It’s getting cold. Please return quickly.”

“Yeah. Jwaseseuma, you don’t need to come out.”

“I cannot do that.”

It’s burdensome when a sick person follows me.

But it seemed he felt guilty, so I just told him to do as he pleased.

Perhaps because it was dark, the palace maids seemed rather reassured.

‘It would be troublesome if the palace maids showed too much that they liked being with a strange man.’

Since my palace maids here are mostly people who will go out to my private residence with me when I get married, there won’t be any major problems.

But suddenly, I noticed one person’s gaze was elsewhere, and I curiously tugged at her sleeve.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ah, I am sorry. I thought I saw a familiar face, so I was a little concerned…….”

“A familiar face?”

“I think it’s a nanny from Consort Yeong, no, Consort Hong’s residence, so I was a little concerned.”

Since Jo Gae was a nanny from Consort Yeong’s residence, she knew the palace maids belonging to that side very well.

The royal physician who came out to see me off nodded at Gae’s words.

“Perhaps because the entry of the Chwiyeongdang palace people has become free due to the Crown Prince’s ceremonial burial, visits to the Royal Clinic have been frequent lately. Consort Suk-won has always had deep heart fire (心火) [stress or anxiety], so she has often taken herbal medicine.”

“Hmm. Is that so.”

Consort Hong, upon hearing the news of the Crown Prince’s ceremonial burial, cried out that she wanted to repay even a fraction of the grace she had received from His Highness and asked to pay her respects on his final journey.

Thanks to that, she was temporarily granted permission. It wasn’t very pleasant from my point of view, but considering that there was no one to take care of them now that the Crown Prince was gone, it was tolerable.

Well, Prince Gyeong-eon and his mother are getting what they deserve, but it was an environment where depression could arise.

It wasn’t strange for a palace maid to come to the Royal Clinic in itself.

It wasn’t very pleasing to me from my point of view either.

“Let’s go.”

“Yes, young lady.”

I walked slowly and talked to the Jwaseseuma.

“The other Iwisa [personal guards] will also die in accidents, right?”

“Since they gave their lives to protect the Crown Prince, His Majesty will not turn a blind eye to them.”

“Yeah.”

Most of the Crown Prince’s Iwisa officials who always followed the Crown Prince were also familiar faces, so I felt depressed.

I really don’t want to experience the death of someone I know.

“What will happen to the Crown Prince’s Iwisa?”

“It will be reorganized to serve a new…… Crown Prince.”

A new Crown Prince.

It was a story that had to come out, but it was bitter to hear it from someone else’s mouth.

“What about the Jwaseseuma?”

“I…… I don’t have the qualifications anymore, so I’m thinking of quitting my official position.”

“The Crown Prince wouldn’t want that, though?”

The Jwaseseuma came from a fallen noble family, risked his life to become a Chakhogapsa, and I heard that he had worked hard to get to the Jwaseseuma position with his connection to the Crown Prince. But he’s quitting?

“I have served the Crown Prince for many years, and I don’t have the face to serve a new lord now.”

“Yeah…… Still, make sure to come visit before you quit.”

“Yes, young lady.”

He’s someone the Crown Prince cherished, so I should give him something to send him off.

Originally, the king would probably take care of the severance pay…… but I don’t know if he’ll be in the right state of mind to do so.

“It’s cold, so go in. The Crown Prince saved your life. You have to cherish it.”

“……Yes, young lady.”

Perhaps my words were unexpected, the Jwaseseuma grabbed his arm, which was wrapped in bandages like his face, and smiled faintly. And he took a deep breath and opened his mouth with difficulty.

“The Crown Prince was very much looking forward to how you would grow up. He said you were bright and wise.”

“……I see.”

“Please take care of yourself.”

“Yeah. Jwaseseuma, take care of yourself too.”

The road back to my chambers after sending the Jwaseseuma, who had followed me to the front gate, was dark and desolate.

It was only natural to feel that way as I barely relied on the light of the lanterns in the middle of the night, but it was the first time since I was reborn that the palace felt so bleak for the past few years.

‘Is it because it’s a time of mourning (喪中) [a period of mourning]…….’

Objectively, the Crown Prince, who was sincere and had a gentle personality, had a good reputation.

Outwardly, it was an accidental death due to a fall from a horse, but rumors were spreading.

Not long ago, some light-mouthed palace maids who were talking about Hosik (虎食) [being eaten by a tiger] and Chang-gwi (倀鬼) [ghosts of those killed by tigers] were caught and dragged away.

I had also heard the rumors that the palace maids were talking about earlier.

Rumors that tiger footprints were left behind, or that they heard the voice of the dead Crown Prince.

“Chang-gwi…….”

“Young lady, you must not say such ominous words.”

“Yeah. Does Gae know what that is too?”

Chang-gwi refers to the soul of a person who died from a tiger becoming a slave who calls their acquaintances and offers them as food for the tiger.

Thanks to Park Ji-won’s Hojil [a classic Korean short story], it was a word that all test-takers would have heard at least once.

When I asked to confirm, Jo Gae nodded and earnestly pleaded with me with a stiff face.

“Young lady, if you hear a voice calling you, you must never answer.”

“Do you believe in such superstitions?”

It is said that the soul that has become a Chang-gwi calls out the names of acquaintances to lure them in.

Now that there are no young men in the palace who can call my name, if I hear a voice calling me, it would be the work of a Chang-gwi.