Dr. Shin Seonhan: The Doctor Who Sees The Future [EN]: Chapter 196

#196 Our Lives: A Chase (3)

‘What was that?’

The sound of glass breaking.

I quickly entered the bar.

In the farthest corner, Ahn Kyung-shik was sprawled out, a shattered glass in front of him.

“I’m sowwy… hic!”

He seemed completely drunk, barely able to stand.

Despite his state, he seemed to feel responsible, clumsily bending down to clean up the broken glass.

He’ll hurt himself.

I quickly walked over and grabbed Ahn Kyung-shik’s arm.

“Don’t touch the broken glass.”

“Oh… Sun-han, Teach?”

Ahn Kyung-shik looked at me, surprised.

This situation is dangerous for everyone, but especially for a surgeon; injuring his hands can be critical.

The owner soon appeared with a broom and dustpan.

“Are you with him?”

“Yes. How long has he been like this?”

“Three or four hours? I don’t know how many drinks he’s had since we opened.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll pay for the broken glass.”

“He’s a regular, so no need… just make sure he gets home okay later.”

The bearded owner nonchalantly swept up the broken glass and disappeared.

“Thank you.”

I supported Ahn Kyung-shik and managed to get him seated, then looked around.

An old bar.

Run-down, but with its own atmosphere.

LP [long play] records decorated the walls, and old music played from the speakers.

Typical of the sentimental Ahn Kyung-shik’s taste.

[Sun-han] Fugitive found. Bluebird.

I briefly reported to Ma Dong-seop via message and sat down.

“Sun-han Teach, how did you know I was here…?”

Ahn Kyung-shik’s pupils were shaking as he said that.

He must have been quite surprised by my sudden appearance.

Before I could say anything, he showed a fierce reaction.

“Teacher…”

“Ah, tell them I’m not going back. I’m not TS [Thoracic Surgery] anymore. Dragging me won’t do any good.”

Ahn Kyung-shik stubbornly pushed me away.

A deserter who fled the battlefield of thoracic surgery.

In his eyes, even I, a year his junior, must look as scary as a military policeman.

I tried to soothe him with the softest tone I could muster.

“Do you think I came to drag you back? I was worried about you.”

“……”

“Everyone’s worried. Especially Teacher Ma Dong-seop; you have no idea how worried he was.”

Ahn Kyung-shik’s wariness seemed to lessen at my words.

Soon, a drunken lament began.

“…Tell them not to worry about me. I’m just not cut out for thoracic surgery anyway.”

I could understand his feelings.

It’s uncomfortable all day just wearing clothes that don’t fit.

How much more so a job?

The expression repeated countless times in the long letter he left behind was ‘overwhelming’.

“No matter how hard I try, I only get scolded by the professors…”

He knows it too.

I’ve seen it myself many times.

Just as people need to eat to live, so does self-esteem.

Being criticized all day long can only lead to rock-bottom self-esteem.

“I must have looked ridiculous to Sun-han Teach all this time. Honestly, I was pathetic, right?”

At Ahn Kyung-shik’s self-deprecating words, I filled my water glass and replied.

“Never. If anything, the opposite.”

Ahn Kyung-shik blinked his bleary eyes and looked at me.

I continued calmly.

“There was no one who worked as hard for the patients as you did, among the attending physicians I’ve seen.”

“……”

“And you explained things so easily. I thought it was great to have someone like you as a senior.”

It wasn’t a fabricated story.

I was just telling the truth as it was.

However, Ahn Kyung-shik’s eyes became tearful, as if he was touched by my words.

“……”

He didn’t say much, hanging his head low.

But I could tell.

That he had been under a lot of pressure as an attending physician.

“I think it’s because you care so much about the patients that it was hard for you. I respect that about you.”

“Hwaaaa…”

Ahn Kyung-shik finally burst into tears.

He even grabbed my arm and buried his face in it.

Oh dear, what a mess.

“Sun-han Teach, it was so hard for me…”

“How can you cry like this and run away?”

“Hwaaaa…”

It seemed like no matter what I said, he wouldn’t hear me.

I couldn’t tell if he was crying from the alcohol, moved by my words.

Or if it was the pent-up emotions he had felt during his year or so in thoracic surgery pouring out.

All I could do was pat Ahn Kyung-shik on the back.

‘Being like this reminds me of my college days.’

It was always my role to listen to my friends’ problems.

I don’t know why. I don’t know when I became in charge of that, but among my friends, I was always that kind of person.

A role of listening to other people’s stories rather than telling my own.

“Ahn Kyung-shik!”

Just then, Ma Dong-seop appeared, panting.

A huge man who had run through the blizzard.

He looked like an angry yeti now.

He was scary enough because he was so big, but his face was red from the cold, making him look like a gatekeeper from hell.

Ahn Kyung-shik seemed to sober up instantly and stammered.

“S-Senior.”

“You little…”

Step, step—

Ma Dong-seop walked over with a chilling aura in his bloodshot eyes.

The atmosphere was ominous.

Come to think of it, what did he say earlier?

That he would fold his spine in half if he met him?

I was tense, ready to stop Ma Dong-seop if necessary.

“You, come here, you punk!”

Swoosh!

Ma Dong-seop raised his hand.

Ahn Kyung-shik squeezed his eyes shut.

But the bloodshed I feared did not happen.

Whump!

Ma Dong-seop, with a reddened face, hugged Ahn Kyung-shik and shouted.

“Ahn Kyung, you bastard! I was worried!”

“Senior! I’m sorry!”

Waaaaah!

The two men cried and embraced each other.

This is, how should I put it?

It’s like watching a scene of a family reuniting after being separated since childhood.

“Ahn Kyung-shik!”

“Dong-seop Senior!”

A warm, tearful embrace continued.

I awkwardly sipped my water, watching the two of them.

* * *

“What? A scout offer from plastic surgery?”

A little later.

Ma Dong-seop asked, dumbfounded.

On the table, fish cake soup was steaming hot.

A menu that didn’t quite fit the atmosphere of the bar.

The owner had specially made it for us because we had skipped dinner.

“You went AWOL [absent without leave] after getting a scout offer? The more I think about it, the more pissed off I get. I should just!”

Ma Dong-seop threatened Ahn Kyung-shik with the fish cake skewer in his hand.

Then the bearded male owner and the young female employee quickly stopped Ma Dong-seop.

“Now, now, don’t get angry. Let me pour you a drink.”

“That’s right. I heard you did everything you had to do and then ran away? It happens in life!”

We were the only three customers.

The snow outside was getting heavier.

The owner and the employee seemed to have given up on business altogether and pulled up chairs to sit next to us.

So there were five glasses.

With the quiet LP music playing, we felt like we were sitting around a campfire.

“So what kind of offer did you get? Let’s hear about it.”

“That’s…”

The whole story, as told by Ahn Kyung-shik, was like this.

He had received an offer from a senior he used to know.

The senior was looking for a doctor to do hair transplant work at the hospital he ran, asking if he was interested.

“Hair transplant?”

“Wow, do thoracic surgeons do that kind of thing too?”

“Please start with me.”

The owner, with his receding hairline, showed interest.

Moreover, the amount offered was three times the current university hospital salary.

It was a tempting offer for Ahn Kyung-shik.

“Wow, three times as much?”

“They pay that much? I’d quit right away and run!”

The owner and employee next to us sparkled their eyes.

It was that much money.

Moreover, the senior’s words that struck Ahn Kyung-shik’s heart were…

An offer of a life with mental and temporal 余裕 [leeway/margin].

Ahn Kyung-shik, who had not been able to rest properly because he paid meticulous attention to each and every patient.

Moreover, he had recently made a mistake and was wallowing in self-loathing, so he could not ignore this offer.

“I wanted to live comfortably, not just for the money.”

Ahn Kyung-shik sniffled.

Ma Dong-seop smacked his lips as if he had nothing to say.

“Well, it’s your freedom to choose whatever path you want, but.”

Gulp, gulp.

He chugged his beer and then scolded in a loud voice.

“You idiot, do you think you’ll be happy if you go there?”

“It’ll be better than now.”

“Maybe if you go to that hospital, they’ll look down on you and treat you like a servant.”

“I’m a servant now.”

“What, you punk? Well, that’s true!”

What is this, a comedy show?

I smiled wryly, listening quietly from the side.

“Still, Yang Moon-shik is really not it. Don’t you know that guy had a bad reputation even when he was at Yonsei University Hospital?”

“Really?”

“He’s been rumored to treat patients badly since he was a resident. He’s got a terrible personality.”

“……”

“Are you going to become corrupted next to Yang Moon-shik? I think someone who cares about patients like you should be doing meaningful things in TS.”

Ma Dong-seop added, glancing slightly at the owner with the receding hairline.

“Of course, planting each and every hair is also important and meaningful, but…”

Ahn Kyung-shik became increasingly silent.

Was Ma Dong-seop’s persuasion working?

I could feel from his eyes that he was already subtly regretting it in his heart.

“What should I do?”

“What do you mean what should you do? You have to go back.”

“I didn’t even show up for work without permission, how can I do that?”

“You have to say you’re sorry and bow your head. Do you think you’re the only one like that? Maybe the professors will understand.”

Ahn Kyung-shik pondered for a long time and then nodded slightly.

“Let’s drink and die today! Sun-han, you sleep at my place and let’s go to work tomorrow!”

“Yes, I will.”

“Owner, bring us any alcohol you have!”

“Let’s do that. Teachers, may I smoke a cigarette?”

“Oh, what cigarette are you talking about in front of thoracic surgeons?”

“Yes, please help our boss quit smoking, teachers!”

One glass, two glasses.

The empty glasses increased.

Ma Dong-seop was about to take responsibility for the bar’s sales alone.

I also started to feel tipsy.

The speaker in the corner of the bar was singing old songs with faded melodies.

“But Sun-hani hyung [older brother/term of endearment]. I’m curious.”

How many more glasses did we drink?

Ahn Kyung-shik, heavily drunk, started talking in a slurred voice.

He was already calling me hyung.

“How can you work so hard without getting tired? I try my best too… but honestly, I feel smaller when I see Sun-han hyung.”

“That’s right. I’m surprised sometimes too. He’s a passionate man, a passionate man! Since we’re on the subject, teach us your secret.”

Ma Dong-seop chimed in.

What should I answer?

I smiled quietly and replied lightly.

“It must be because of my mother.”

“Mother?”

“She passed away in the hospital when I was young.”

“Ah…”

Was it because of the alcohol?

I’m talking more than usual.

The candle on the table flickered, casting the shadow of the glass on the back of my hand.

“When I see patients, I can’t help but think of my mother, so I pay more attention to them.”

“……”

A brief silence flows.

Ahn Kyung-shik, who had been complaining in a slurred tone until just now, also blinked and became silent.

Ma Dong-seop cautiously asked, picking up and putting down an empty beer glass.

“Was your mother… not well?”

“No, she was healthy. More than anyone else.”

“Can I ask what happened? You don’t have to talk about it if you’re uncomfortable.”

Ma Dong-seop’s cautious question.

I recalled the memory.

I can’t forget it even if I want to.

I tried to bury it deep, but it quickly appears as if covered with thin sand.

“It was winter back then too.”

The night was getting late.

Chik—

The owner walked to the counter and quietly lit a cigarette, and this time no one said anything.

The endlessly falling snow was erasing the world, making the bar feel like an isolated space.

“I was in the first year of middle school.”

I began to tell the story that I had kept hidden in my heart, without telling anyone at the hospital.