Dr. Shin Seonhan: The Doctor Who Sees The Future [EN]: Chapter 206

Dr. Fresh Future – Episode 206 (206/241)

#206 Hawk Eyes, Woman’s Hands, Lion’s Heart (9)

‘There’s no way?’

That can’t be.

There must be something somewhere.

Even if it’s just a glimmer of hope…

That’s what I tried to think, but no matter how I looked, I couldn’t see any light.

It was as if I was being dragged into a scene of a dark future, with my ankles caught in the deep sea.

“…Entering ECMO [Extracorporeal Membrane Oxygenation, a life support machine], it’s been 26 minutes!”

“POD [Post-operative Day] 5th day, right? Is the pediatric ECMO ready?”

Pediatric Cardiac Intensive Care Unit.

The desperate voices of doctors erupt.

The sight of them performing CPR to save a child’s body that’s barely a handful is the same as before.

I could only watch anxiously as if I were behind a transparent wall.

After a few minutes.

With the child in a state where even ECMO insertion is impossible, the fellow doctor says quietly.

“…Stop and contact Professor Ahn Young-wook.”

“…Yes.”

Silence falls in the Pediatric Cardiac Intensive Care Unit.

As if trying to avoid it, some residents leave with stiff expressions.

And some are looking at the breathless child with trembling eyes.

The child’s limbs are not moving at all, and only blue bruises are visible on both thighs where countless needles have passed to secure blood vessels.

That’s how the baby was slowly cooling down.

-The death of a pediatric patient is the greatest tragedy one can face in a lifetime.

It was a phrase from the first chapter of the textbook ‘Surgical Treatment of Congenital Heart Disease’ that I had been reading for the past few weeks.

And now, that greatest tragedy is unfolding before my eyes.

The death of a patient.

Something that will be experienced countless times in the future.

But, something that can never be familiar.

I expected it to some extent, but seeing it with my own eyes feels like being confirmed.

‘In the end, I couldn’t change the future?’

Everything is the same as I saw before.

However, the only difference is….

This time, I’m also at the scene.

In the dream, I reached out to Doctor Ahn Kyung-shik, who was sitting on the floor crying in the hallway.

“Doctor. Are you okay?”

“D, Doctor Sun….”

“Get up.”

In the dream, I take Doctor Ahn Kyung-shik’s hand.

What are you thinking?

I don’t even know what my future self feels like.

However, I just pat Doctor Ahn Kyung-shik and murmur in a small voice.

“…Everyone did their best.”

All lives are finite. And sometimes they end far too early.

I had no choice but to accept that Lee Seul-gi’s short life ended in a cold intensive care unit.

“The family……?”

“The baby’s mother is outside…….”

At that moment, when I was about to have a heavy conversation.

A young woman, presumed to be Seul-gi’s mother, enters the intensive care unit, following Doctor Song Yoo-joo.

Her eyes are bloodshot to the point where the blood vessels seem to be bursting.

It seems that she was explained everything outside just now.

“I was wondering if I could see our Seul-gi one last time.”

“…The arrangement is almost done, so please wait here for a moment.”

Soon, she approached to see Seul-gi off to the end.

The guardian’s trembling gaze does not leave the baby on the bed.

“Did our Seul-gi suffer a lot until the end?”

The voice asking that question trembles.

What should doctors say in times like this?

Of course, it would have hurt. She had major surgery not long after she was born, and she struggled until the end.

But, the truth is sometimes too violent.

Even Song Yoo-joo had no choice but to sugarcoat it at this moment.

“There will be no more pain now.”

With that one word, Seul-gi’s mother collapsed.

“Our Seul-gi…… went to a good place, right? She’s breathing comfortably there, right……?”

Song Yoo-joo nods silently.

Soon, Lee Seul-gi, covered in a white cloth, is carried out of the intensive care unit on a pediatric transport.

“Thank you for everything, doctor…….”

Seul-gi’s mother left one last word and disappeared, and Doctor Song Yoo-joo’s eyes also turned red.

This is the first time I’ve seen her emotionally shaken like this.

She would have been watching Seul-gi continuously in the intensive care unit from before the surgery to after.

I could feel Doctor Song Yoo-joo’s great sadness and sense of loss without her saying anything.

* * *

“……Why are you stopping mid-sentence?”

“Yes?”

“You just said something as if you were curious about something.”

I opened my eyes wide.

Before I knew it, it was back to the present.

Doctor Song Yoo-joo is in front of me.

The eyes that looked like they were about to burst into tears in the dream are nowhere to be seen, and she is looking at me with her usual sharp eyes.

“What should we be most careful about in the process up to 5 days after surgery?”

“Well. It depends on what kind of surgery you do.”

“After all, it depends on what kind of surgery…….”

“It will probably be decided at tomorrow’s meeting, but it’s highly likely to go as discussed today. And no matter which professor does which surgery, complications are bound to occur with a certain probability.”

I know.

That this is not a problem I can dare to intervene in.

But does that mean I have to give up?

Of course, according to what I saw in the dream, the probability of saving Seul-gi converges to ‘0’.

But I stubbornly clung to the last glimmer of hope.

…Something miraculous might happen.

* * *

D-2.

Seul-gi’s surgery is two days away.

It feels like watching the fuse of a bomb burning and getting shorter in real time.

At 5 p.m. today, the surgery for Lee Seul-gi will be finalized.

‘But why can’t I see Professor Baek Eui-shin?’

Even this morning, Professor Baek Eui-shin could not be found in the Pediatric Cardiac Intensive Care Unit.

“Doctor Ma Dong-seop, Professor Baek doesn’t seem to be in the ward or the intensive care unit? Is he busy with something?”

“He’s over there.”

“Yes?”

Ma Dong-seop, who was doing pre-rounds with me, pointed to the TV placed on one side of the hospital room with his chin.

‘Professor Baek?’

Inside the TV.

Professor Baek was appearing on a morning program and talking to an interviewer.

‘Why is the professor coming out from there?’

As I made a puzzled expression, Ma Dong-seop added.

“He was busy with external activities yesterday too. Have you ever heard of a doctor-tainer? Maybe he’s trying to do something like that.”

A compound word of doctor and entertainer. It refers to doctors who often appear on TV.

There was a time when such doctors poured out, but the overall perception is not good.

This is because there were many cases of sensationalizing and delivering false medical information in line with public popularity.

So, on the one hand, they were also called show doctors.

Of course, I don’t think Professor Baek Eui-shin is that type…….

“Well, honestly, I think it would be more fun to go on TV than to be in the hospital? Rather than being in the operating room all day as soon as I return.”

Doctor Ma Dong-seop, who said that, didn’t seem to have excessive expectations or disappointments about the person named Baek Eui-shin.

“I also heard this. He’s going to focus on external activities for the time being. I heard that he also has a meeting scheduled with the Ministry of Health and Welfare.”

“…….”

“And you know the cardiovascular center building that is newly built on the west side of our hospital, which will be completed next year, right? Maybe if Professor Baek Eui-shin is exposed to the media, there will be a promotional effect…….”

Ma Dong-seop’s words continued.

Of course, it’s not wrong for a doctor to appear on TV, but my heart became more anxious.

At this important moment, Professor Baek Eui-shin seemed to be busier with things outside the hospital, and my heart ached.

“But didn’t you say you have a schedule today too?”

“Yes. The PR team planned a video.”

“Wow, that’s great. You’re half a celebrity now, a celebrity!”

Ma Dong-seop patted me on the back, smiling, unaware of my burning heart.

‘Maybe there’s only one chance.

Can I change Lee Seul-gi’s future in the few hours left?

‘Let’s do it. Somehow.’

I made a plan.

If I don’t even try to turn ‘0’ into ‘0.1’, I’ll regret this moment forever.

* * *

That evening.

I was granted half a day off with special permission from the hospital director.

It could be seen as a golden break during the busy thoracic surgery internship, but my heart was not at ease.

“Honey, get in quickly!”

“Team leader, hello.”

“There’s no time to say hello. We have to leave quickly to get to the filming location because the traffic is bad!”

I quickly got into the passenger seat of the car that the PR team leader pulled up in.

And, I stiffened.

Professor Baek Eui-shin was already in the back seat with his arms crossed and his eyes closed.

“Hello, Professor.”

There is no answer.

Is he sleeping?

I got into the car awkwardly, sat upright, and fastened my seat belt.

‘The day has come when I’m in the same car as Professor Baek Eui-shin…….’

It doesn’t feel real.

It feels like just yesterday that I drank celebratory drinks at Garak Market [a large wholesale market in Seoul] for passing the internship.

A lot has happened in the past year since then.

Among them, the last few days I met Professor Baek Eui-shin feel the most unrealistic.

While I was frozen like a stone, the PR team leader shouted as if to change the awkward atmosphere and started the car.

“Okay, it takes about 30 minutes to get to the filming location from here! How about some exciting music while we go…….”

“It’s distracting.”

“Yes, sir.”

The PR team leader immediately turned off the radio with an embarrassed expression.

Extremely sensitive nerves.

I heard that Professor Baek Eui-shin actually doesn’t play music even in the operating room.

He said that the only sound he listens to carefully in the operating room is the machine sound from the anesthesia monitoring machine, which changes in pitch depending on the oxygen saturation.

So, the car was quiet all the way.

Among the engine noise and the friction of the tires sliding on the road, it was I who broke the silence.

“Professor.”

“Why?”

“Excuse me, but can I ask you something…….”

“If it’s an excuse, don’t ask.”

Is this not the right timing?

I immediately closed my mouth.

After a while, Professor Baek Eui-shin asked as if he was annoyed.

“What is it?”

“I saw at the pediatric conference yesterday that there was a baby who needed to have TGA [Transposition of the Great Arteries] surgery.”

“TGA?”

Professor Baek’s voice changed a little.

Should I say that he quickly regained his energy?

That’s the voice I knew.

The look of annoyance he had just before filming was nowhere to be seen.

‘As expected, Professor Baek changes when he talks about surgery.’

I felt a little relieved in my heart.

While the car was turning a curve, I spoke quickly.

“It was discussed that it is difficult to determine the surgical method because there is VSD [Ventricular Septal Defect, a hole in the heart] and PS [Pulmonary Stenosis, a narrowing of the pulmonary valve] together, and several surgical methods were mentioned.”

“It’s a field where there is still no right answer.”

A disease called the challenge of modern medicine.

It was a topic that doctors in the Department of Surgery could not help but show passion for.

Encouraged by Baek Eui-shin’s reaction, I began to unravel what I had studied.

“Even the Rastelli surgery, which was considered standard, has a survival rate of…….”

At my words, the PR team leader raised his eyes in surprise.

Although I can’t see his face because he’s in the back seat, Professor Baek Eui-shin also seemed interested.

“And in the case of REV [Réparation à l’Étage Ventriculaire] surgery and Nikaidoh surgery…….”

The advantages and disadvantages of the three surgical methods that came out at the conference, and the research results that have been announced until recently, flowed from my mouth.

He must have been surprised that these stories were coming out of my mouth, who is not even in his first year yet.

But, knowing that he would eventually die 5 days after surgery, I couldn’t help but study like this.

There is no greater motivation than this.

After a while, the next question that came out of his mouth after listening to me was embarrassing.

“So, what would you do if you were the surgeon in charge?”