Dr. Shin Seonhan: The Doctor Who Sees The Future [EN]: Chapter 45

#45 The Marine Corps in the ICU (5)

“I applied to surgery because I wanted to be a big surgeon.”

“Excuse me?”

“What? Is it surprising?”

Doctor Byun chuckled.

It was surprising.

In fact, even as I asked the question, I was anticipating the answer.

I thought maybe Doctor Byun had applied based on his grades, since the surgical departments tend to have lower competition.

But his answer was somewhat unexpected.

“Since I was young, whenever I saw surgeons on TV, they looked so cool. Standing in the operating room and shouting, ‘Scalpel!’ I wanted to be that kind of cool surgeon.”

Wow…….

It’s so similar to me that I’m getting goosebumps.

It’s like looking at a decalcomania [a decorative technique by which engravings and prints are transferred to pottery or other materials].

Doctor Byun, who seems like the epitome of laziness, once had such dreams.

“I once had such dreams, but now I regret it.”

“Regret?”

“Don’t ever become a surgeon.”

This…… I feel like I’ve heard this somewhere before.

It’s like that thing, like smokers saying, ‘Don’t you guys ever do this,’ while smoking.

“Haven’t you gotten a sense of it now that you’ve experienced it a bit? Do you want to spend your life looking at patients who might die at any moment?”

Doctor Byun continued.

Surgery departments are constantly flooded with patients needing emergency surgery, and patients who have had major organs operated on are often on the verge of death.

“The more you work hard, the more likely you are to have a mental breakdown in this field.”

There are departments where you work constantly close to death.

These are the so-called major departments of general hospitals: internal medicine, surgery, obstetrics and gynecology, and pediatrics.

It’s the department closest to the essence of a doctor, dealing with vitals at the boundary of life and death, but the stress is enormous.

“What if a patient I cut open and sewed up with my own hands in the operating room gradually weakens and dies after the surgery? A patient who walked into the hospital before the surgery. After something like that happens, I can’t sleep for a week.”

Doctor Byun chuckled.

He’s saying it with a smile now, but he probably had many things happen to him.

He stirred his drink with a straw and continued.

“As I lived, I realized it’s best to keep a moderate distance from everything. No matter how much I over-immerse myself in work, patients who are going to die will die anyway… No one acknowledges me for sticking by them.”

He probably wasn’t lazy from the start.

But after experiencing a few negative experiences, people tend to change.

In the end, is his current state the answer he came to?

“Well, anyway, if you still want to come to the surgery side despite all that…….”

Sip.

Doctor Byun sucked the remaining drink through the ice and grinned.

“I am your future.”

No way!

I snap to my senses.

I refuse to become a doctor like Doctor Byun Gyu-nam.

My role model is the God of Medicine!

“By the way, I have something to give you.”

“What is it?”

“Here. A gift from a senior to a junior.”

Doctor Byun hands over the shopping bag he’s been holding.

What is this?

I was surprised to check the contents.

It’s a pair of Crocs with holes, and they look soft and comfortable.

How did he know my shoe size?

“What? Did you think I was a shameless senior who always mooches off juniors at the cafe? This is for all the coffee I’ve taken from you.”

He smiles as he says that.

Byun Gyu-nam, what is this person…….

He’s someone I’m not sure whether to like or dislike.

He lifts me up and puts me down several times a day [a Korean expression meaning someone who alternates between praising and criticizing you, leaving you unsure of their true feelings].

“Wear those from today.”

“Thank you, Senior.”

“Hehehe. What’s the point of having a senior? Let’s go up now.”

And the next day.

I wore the shoes I received as a gift instead of loafers and went to work.

I can feel that my feet are much more comfortable.

As I was waiting for rounds, Professor Eom Seo-yong opened the door to the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) and came in.

“Hello, Professor.”

“…….”

Professor Eom Seo-yong, whose head is shining today, looked at me with a displeased expression.

His gaze is directed downwards, towards my feet.

“I guess the intern doctor didn’t check the hospital announcement a few days ago?”

“Excuse me?”

“There should have been an announcement saying not to wear such slippery shoes outside the operating room. There are many fall accidents because patients follow suit.”

…….

I didn’t know at all.

An announcement?

I’m an intern, so that’s understandable, but if he’s a surgery resident, he would have received such an announcement directly…….

I looked at Doctor Byun Gyu-nam in embarrassment.

The professor continues to speak.

“Gyu-nam, you’re wearing those shoes you wear in the operating room outside too, aren’t you? If you wear shoes you wear in the operating room in the ward and ICU like you do, the probability of infection inside the operating room will increase, right?”

“Uh…… I’m sorry.”

Doctor Byun, who also didn’t check the announcement, is flustered and fidgeting.

After a while.

As rounds began, Doctor Byun whispered to me behind the professor’s back.

“Sorry.”

You son of a……!

Curses rose to my throat.

There’s no way he, whose motto in life is ‘roughly, roughly,’ would have read the announcement in detail.

I think there’s no good in sticking with this guy anyway.

* * *

A few days later.

I took advantage of my off time to go up to the thoracic surgery ward.

Doctor Ma Dong-seop, who happened to be passing by the station, found me and approached me happily.

“Oh, intern friend? What brings you here?”

“Hello. I wanted to see the grandfather.”

“Grandfather Attacking?”

Ma Dong-seop is slightly surprised.

I smiled awkwardly and said.

“Since he’s a patient I took care of once, I’m concerned about him.”

“So you came all the way here to see him?”

Ma Dong-seop smiled brightly.

He seems to be in a good mood.

He put his hand on my shoulder and headed somewhere.

“Come on, follow me.”

He strode forward.

Because he’s so big, I can feel the wind even when he’s just walking.

‘At least this doctor doesn’t have to worry about getting beaten up anywhere.’

Is physical fitness also important for doctors?

Suddenly, I remembered the time I was punched by the grandfather.

I need to exercise hard so that I don’t get beaten up by patients either…….

Thinking that, I followed behind Ma Dong-seop.

Soon I was guided to the hospital room.

It was an ordinary six-person room.

When I opened the curtain, I could see the grandfather sitting on the innermost side.

Grandfather Attacking, still with oxygen tubes in his nose, smiled as soon as he found me.

“Hello, Doctor.”

“Have you been well?”

“Of course. What brings you all the way here? You must be busy with work.”

The grandfather said with a smile.

He always speaks politely and respectfully to me, even though I’m much younger than him.

He’s a very gentle person when he’s sane.

Of course, he changes 180 degrees at night, though…….

I bent down and faced the patient.

“You seem to be in a good mood today.”

“I had a good dream last night.”

“A good dream?”

“There was a comrade who left for heaven a long time ago… I had a dream that he came back alive.”

Oh, that…….

Could it be because of what I acted out last time?

Maybe the role-playing as Private Kim was imprinted in the patient’s subconscious.

I pretended not to know and asked.

“It must have been nice to meet your comrade after a long time.”

“Yes. I feel like a little bit of the burden on my heart has been lifted. Maybe that friend is now reborn and living well. Getting married, having children…….”

The grandfather’s expression as he said that was one of happy imagination.

“You should get well soon and see your family.”

I said with a smile.

Then the grandfather’s expression darkened.

Oops, did I say something I shouldn’t have?

“I only have one son as family… It’s been over 10 years since I’ve seen his face.”

The grandfather’s expression as he said that was gloomy.

I wanted to slap my own mouth.

Get a grip, Fresh!

If the patient had a good family relationship, they would have come to visit!

I immediately apologized.

“I’m sorry. I said something unnecessary.”

“No, it’s my fault for living my life wrong.”

The grandfather smiled faintly.

Is he reminiscing about his past life?

His wrinkled eyes are full of regret.

“When I think about it, I only have things I’m sorry for my son. I couldn’t do anything for him when he was growing up… and I even passed on things I shouldn’t have…….”

Things he shouldn’t have passed on?

What does that mean?

I tilted my head.

At that time, the grandfather coughed repeatedly.

“Cough, cough…… Kwak…….”

The grandfather had a painful expression.

I had temporarily forgotten because of the delirium, but Grandfather Attacking is a patient who underwent lung cancer surgery.

He underwent a lung resection (left upper lobectomy) [surgical removal of the left upper lobe of the lung] through a thoracotomy [surgical incision into the chest wall], so the pain must be indescribable.

“Can you spit out phlegm?”

I tried to help the patient.

If phlegm cannot be expelled, it often sticks to the bronchi and interferes with the normal activity of the lungs.

But the grandfather doesn’t seem to be able to muster any strength.

“Cough, cough.”

The grandfather’s cough makes a weak sound and just spins.

It’s like squeezing a punctured air pocket.

Soon, Doctor Ma Dong-seop approached and taught the patient breathing techniques to expel phlegm.

After a while, I came out of the hospital room and asked Ma Dong-seop.

“How is the grandfather’s post-operative progress?”

“Are you interested in this field?”

“I’ll be rotating through thoracic surgery someday, so I thought it would be good to learn in advance.”

“Hmm.”

Ma Dong-seop smiled as if he was impressed.

And he kindly explained to me without showing any signs of annoyance.

“Well, the surgery itself went well. The tumor was completely removed, so if he recovers well, there won’t be any problems for a while.”

“That’s a relief.”

“But you never know when the patient will get worse. His lung function wasn’t good to begin with, and he’s been struggling because of delirium every night, so his recovery isn’t going as well as expected.”

“Then wouldn’t it be better for him to be in the intensive care unit?”

I asked.

In the intensive care unit, patient monitoring is always possible, and you can immediately respond to situations where the patient gets worse.

“But an environment like the intensive care unit can worsen delirium.”

“Ah……!”

I opened my mouth.

I feel like I’ve become a temporary idiot.

I had forgotten that the intensive care unit itself is a risk factor for delirium.

So, to summarize…….

“It’s good to be in the intensive care unit because of the delirium, but if you’re in the intensive care unit, the delirium is more likely to get worse… is that it?”

“Yes. That’s exactly the problem.”

Damn it, what’s with this?

It’s like watching a snake biting its own tail.

Should I call it a dilemma?

It’s a difficult situation where you can’t do this or that.

‘What should I do?’

I pondered for a moment.

But what can I, an intern, do?

As Doctor Byun said, is it right to stop caring about patients who have left my hands…….

As I was thinking that.

Flash—

My eyes went dark.

And a shocking scene from the future began to appear.