Elqueeness [EN]: Chapter 309

309

“—Why am I still alive? Everyone leaves me behind and goes far away. Too far for me to even chase after them. Everything I try to protect disappears, so what’s the meaning of this life?”

“—I won’t go. I won’t leave.”

He answered without even realizing it. His clouded eyes widened in surprise, then slowly curved into a smile.

“—Liar.”

“—I’m serious. I don’t lie. I’ll protect you, Master.”

“—Don’t say such mature things. Not when you’re just a kid.”

The faint smile was closer to resignation than mockery. That was even more unbearable, making his stomach churn. The boy, often praised for his quick learning, was slow only in understanding emotions. He realized belatedly that this was how it felt to want to cry.

“—I’ll grow up soon.”

“—By then, you’ll have forgotten all this.”

“—I won’t forget. I have a good memory. Really.”

“—Then will you really protect me?”

“—Yes.”

“—In that case, you’ll have to become my knight.”

“—Yes. I’ll become Master’s knight.”

“—Good. Then from now on, I’ll have to treat you as a knight.”

Finally, a smile appeared. His smiling face was the sight the boy loved most. But now, even seeing that expression, he felt no joy at all. He was still crying, still looking as if he would collapse at any moment. He realized that the boy’s heartfelt sincerity had brought him no comfort at all. He staggered to his feet. The boy reached out towards his retreating figure, then bit his lip. Swaying like a reed, he looked as if he would fall at any moment. He wanted to support him, but the boy’s body was still too small.

“—Ah, right. I must give my little knight his first mission.”

Without turning around, he murmured blankly. The boy blinked rapidly. The tears that had been welling up rolled down his cheeks.

“—It’s an order.”

Desperate not to miss a single word, he strained his ears. He stared endlessly at the thin, cold-looking back.

“—You must not die before me.”

Knock, knock—

The sound from outside jolted Caribdis awake from his long reverie. He lightly opened his eyes, which had been closed, and looked around. Before him were a long arched sofa and a table, and under the sunlit window was a wide bed. Only after recognizing that it was his bedroom did he fully regain his senses.

“Your Grace. It’s Reuben. I’m coming in.”

With a soft voice, the closed door opened. The middle-aged butler entered cautiously and bowed politely to him.

“All the preparations are complete.”

“……I see.”

Only then did he remember the reason he had been lost in thought. Caribdis nodded and slowly rose from where he had been sitting. The maids who had followed the butler hurried over to help him put on his clothes. After donning light armor reinforced with thick leather and a short coat, he finally draped a long cloak over his shoulders. The cloak, tailored perfectly to his tall frame, was made of heavy material and was much longer than average, making it quite weighty. One maid couldn’t lift it alone, so two or three had to help. Yet the wearer himself moved as lightly as a feather, as if he felt no weight at all. While admiring this, the maids blushed for another reason. Trained in swordsmanship and blessed with a naturally good physique, Caribdis was striking no matter what he wore. Even in simple travel clothes, he looked more radiant than the flamboyant attire of young nobles attending a banquet.

“You look very handsome today as well.”

It was no wonder that Reuben, the butler who regarded him like a son, was filled with pride.

Caribdis silently lowered his gaze to look at himself. The insignificant little boy from back then had grown up so much that he was now a head taller than his master. Things he couldn’t do before were now all easy for him. He had become strong enough to lift even the largest and heaviest person with one arm. Yet, when he stood before his master, he still felt like a helpless little kid. Even though the way they spoke to each other had changed and the terms they used were different, the way his master looked at him hadn’t changed at all. He always felt powerless, always losing something every day. When did he start accepting that as a wearying emotion?

Humans can’t stay the same forever because they forget everything so easily. So, he had to always keep in mind the time that would eventually come, someone had told him. At the time, he hadn’t listened to the story. He thought it was just a pathetic excuse from a fickle traitor. He believed that even if everyone else in the world changed, he wouldn’t. So, he believed it would be okay. But in the end, he was just another human. Just someone with a little more patience and a little more persistence than others.

A relationship couldn’t be maintained by one person’s unilateral effort. Many things had already changed, and it was impossible for him to keep holding on to the same state as before. He was confused, not knowing what to take and what to discard. The person who had given him advice was no longer in this world, so he couldn’t even go and ask.

If she were still alive, would something have changed?

The question, to which he would never know the answer, circled emptily in his heart before dissipating. Caribdis swallowed the rising sigh. In the sight he had loved, his only master was the most beautiful and noble person in the world. He had volunteered to become his knight because he wanted to protect that image forever. But while he was mindlessly chasing after his back, he seemed to have missed quite a few things. Perhaps it was already too late.

“—If so, then all I have to do is turn it back.”

“……!”

Caribdis’s face hardened at the voice that suddenly brushed past his ear. He reflexively grabbed the arm of the person in front of him.

“Y-Your Grace?”

“Did you say something just now?”

“Excuse me?”

Butler Reuben, who had been arranging his master’s clothes, looked at him with a flustered expression. Just seeing that reaction was as good as hearing the answer.

“……No, it’s nothing.”

Was it a hallucination? No, it was too clear. And it sounded like a voice he had heard somewhere before. Caribdis clenched his fist with a stiff face. He was strangely focused on the scabbard fixed below his waist. The handle of the ordinary sword, which could be found anywhere, seemed to be radiating an eerie aura today.

The servants who were helping with his attire exchanged uneasy glances at their master’s suddenly sharp atmosphere. Reuben, who was watching his expression to see if he was in a bad mood, cautiously changed the subject.

“By the way, it seems Your Grace is finally going to war. I knew this day would come, but I still secretly hoped it wouldn’t.”

As the civil war dragged on, tension began to grip even the peaceful capital. When Caribdis said this morning that he would be away from the mansion for a while, Reuben thought that what was coming had finally arrived. He hadn’t directly mentioned going to war, but he was certain that the place he was heading to was the battlefield. Caribdis didn’t deny it either.

“The battlefield is a knight’s destiny.”

“Yes, of course, I know that. But I can’t help but worry.”

“Worry? You’re saying strange things.”

“I’m serious. You don’t appreciate my sincerity enough. I’m praying every day for Your Grace’s safety, you know.”

At the complaining tone, Caribdis unconsciously chuckled. The atmosphere lightened for a moment at his rare smile. But that moment didn’t last long and soon subsided again. The conversation from the previous day flashed through Caribdis’s mind.

“The war situation is going too badly. I can’t just stand by and watch any longer. Caribdis, I need you to step up.”

“As you command.”

Count Serpio, who was at the front, was failing with every tactic he employed. Just as Butler Reuben had predicted, Caribdis had already anticipated that the Grand Duke would seek him out around this time. However, what the Grand Duke ordered him to do was not to lead the troops into battle.

“What you need to do is simple. I’ll assign a few people to you. They’re all capable, so they’ll be useful for you to handle.”

“What……”

“Isn’t the noise coming from having something to rely on in the first place? If you eliminate the cause, everything will be easily resolved. I wanted to leave it as a final decoration if possible, but now it can’t be helped. There’s not enough time to wait. No matter how precious it is, we have no choice but to give up for the sake of the bigger picture.”

These were words he couldn’t readily understand. The Grand Duke smiled gently at Caribdis, who was looking at him with a puzzled expression.

“Assassinate Isana.”

Even just recalling the past made his heart grow cold. Caribdis took a deep breath. He had never thought about the end, but he knew it was something he would have to face someday. The Grand Duke and the Emperor could never be on the same path. It was a destiny that would somehow end in catastrophe. But receiving the order to kill the Emperor from his mouth felt a little strange. To be honest, he didn’t think he could really kill the Emperor. Isana was not only a descendant of the late Emperor but also the only son of the late Empress Roa, who had worried about the Grand Duke until her last breath.

“Young Master, it’s okay. Come this way.”

The heavy air that had been weighing down his mind disappeared thanks to the voice that followed a moment later. At Butler Reuben’s words, Caribdis shook off the thoughts that were tormenting him and raised his head. When he looked towards the door, he felt a small presence peeking out from behind it. Caribdis smiled without realizing it.

“Ray.”

At his call, the shadow, who hadn’t dared to come forward despite the butler’s encouragement, flinched. His gestures clearly showed his embarrassment. Soon after, the child, who was holding onto the door and peeking out, had flushed cheeks. Caribdis’s expression softened even more at the shy reaction.

“Come here.”

The child hesitated for a moment, then took a step forward with a determined look on his face. Caribdis skillfully lifted the child, who ran up and hugged him tightly. The child, who had been as light as a feather at first, now had some weight to him as he had gained weight. He found that very fascinating, and at the same time, he felt a strange sense of fulfillment.

Who would have imagined this day? Even Caribdis himself sometimes felt embarrassed. He never knew that watching the child he had taken in with his own hands become happier would be such a joyful feeling. He had only brought him in for investigation, but now it was difficult to imagine life in the mansion without the child. He was afraid of changing himself, but this kind of change didn’t seem so bad.

However, unlike the smiling him, Ray’s expression was gloomy. He had always shown a smiling face since they had become close, but today he seemed to be in a bad mood. Caribdis made an questioning expression and met the child’s eyes.

“Ray, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“……Uncle.”

“Yes, tell me.”

“Uncle, are you leaving? Are you disappearing? Will I never see you again?”

The child’s large eyes fluttered as if tears would fill them at any moment. Caribdis turned his gaze away from the child to find someone who could explain the situation. Reuben, who had been watching the scene with a warm gaze, spoke up as if he had been waiting for it.

“After hearing that Your Grace would be away for a while, the young master has been very depressed.”

“……Hmm.”

Caribdis looked back at Ray with a troubled expression. Leaving the mansion for a long trip was a habit for him. He himself, and all the employees, took it for granted, so he had never thought that anyone would be sad about it. He awkwardly began to soothe the child.

“I’m not leaving completely, Ray. I’m just going away for a while for work. I’ll be back soon.”

“Really? Are you coming back?”

“Yes, really. I don’t lie.”

“Then when are you coming back? How many nights do I have to sleep?”

“……How many nights? Hmm, about a hundred? No, two or three hundred……?”

“……That many?”

The child’s face, which had brightened with hope, quickly hardened again. What are you doing, saying that so honestly! Reuben, who had his hand on his forehead, hurriedly tried to salvage the situation.

“He just means it that way, he’ll be back much sooner than that. Isn’t that right, Your Grace?”

“Surely. Rather……”

“Hahaha! Well, Your Grace says so too! See, young master! Your Grace will be back soon. You can rest assured now, right?”

Caribdis, who had been about to continue answering without noticing Reuben’s desperate glare, closed his mouth. Seeing Ray looking at him with expectant eyes, he slowly nodded. Only then did the child’s face brighten again. Looking into those clear eyes, Caribdis made the decision he had been hesitating about all along.

“When I get back, you’ll have a few more things attached to your name.”

“My name?”

“Ray de Caribdis.”

At the same time as Ray’s eyes widened, the sound of gasps echoed from all around. Everyone knew what it meant, but only the young child had a puzzled expression.

“Caribdis is Uncle’s name.”

“Yes. I’ll give it to you too.”

“To me too? Is that okay?”

“Of course. ……Will you call me Father then?”

It was a declaration that couldn’t be clearer, a blatant declaration. The employees gasped again. The little child, whose origins were unknown and who was just an orphan, had been recognized overnight as the young heir of the Caribdis Dukedom.

Butler Reuben was busy wiping away the tears that were welling up. How long had he been waiting for this day? It seemed that his master, who was stronger than anyone else but always looked so precarious, was finally about to find stability. He firmly resolved in his heart to propose that today be designated as a family anniversary.