Elqueeness [EN]: Chapter 405

405

When was it? It must have been shortly after Mine was born, around the time I finished greeting him. While heading to the Water Realm to rest, I suddenly felt like looking around the Spirit Realm and was drawn to Ebas Eden. I spent a long time admiring the jewel flowers blooming profusely, the forest of trees exuding a sweet and rich fragrance, and the sky so blue it was dazzling. The main realm, which I had returned to after a long time, had a peace and comfort that I couldn’t feel in the busy Arkadon. I felt like I had fallen into a deep sleep, completely intoxicated by the warm sunlight. If no one had spoken to me, I might have stood there aimlessly for days.

“El, what are you doing here?”

A familiar voice reached my head, which was dazed by the floating sensation. I turned toward the voice, feeling slightly weary, and saw Troel.

“Ah, Troel. I was just looking around the garden for a while. Something feels a bit different.”

“Different how?”

“How should I put it? It’s like the garden feels new. It feels like the atmosphere has changed a bit since Mine was born.”

“Ah, I see. It feels like the style of painting has changed, right?”

I thought he would ask what I meant, but Troel readily agreed.

“Troel, you felt it too?”

“Yeah, this is the third time.”

“Third time?”

“I mean, with Ifrit, you, and Mine. I’ve seen all the changes of generations of the Spirit Kings. Every time, the feeling changes little by little.”

“Wow, really.”

That was enough to know that it wasn’t just my imagination. Troel smiled at me, who was inwardly surprised.

“Isn’t it interesting? Even though they are Spirit Kings of the same nature, not only their appearance and personality but also their aura is different. I know they are definitely the same being, but it’s hard to identify them as the same. I could probably tell who is who even if I close my eyes.”

“That’s good. You won’t get confused.”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

Whoosh—

A strong wind blew, messing up my hair. Perhaps because the aura he possessed had changed, Troel’s atmosphere, who entrusted his whole body to the flow, also seemed different than before. Maybe that’s why I brought up a topic that I had been consciously avoiding.

“Minerva, he’ll become a god, right?”

Troel turned away from the sky and looked back at me, maintaining the pleasant smile on his face. That gave me more courage.

“What kind of god do you think Minerva will become?”

“Hmm… well, I don’t care what kind of god he becomes. But for his sake, I hope it’s not a dark attribute. I heard there’s a lot of work over there.”

“Ah, right. Even Eluen is buried in piles of documents. There were mountains of documents not only in his office but also in the hallway.”

“Oh dear.”

“Still, he’s a high-ranking god, so his palace was big and magnificent. Other high-ranking gods all have huge palaces. It seems cool to have a unique emblem too.”

“That’s right.”

“Hey, Troel.”

“Yeah?”

“I hope we can meet again soon.”

His slightly widened golden eyes soon softened gently.

“…Yeah.”

Even if it’s not exactly the same as before. Even if many things change and situations change, we can still meet again someday. I just thought that we were living in different places. That’s why I was able to quickly shake off the feeling of loss from the separation. I even imagined what it would feel like when we met again, and what I would say to him first. But this scene wasn’t in that reunion.

No way.

The only sentence filling my head. I was so bewildered and confused that I went through the process of checking several times. But no matter how I looked at it, my judgment didn’t change.

“It’s Minerva. It’s definitely Minerva. That high-ranking god… the Minerva we know, right?”

“It probably is.”

The answer that came back was also as expected. Of course, it wasn’t a confirmation that made me happy at all. No, rather, the feeling of disbelief only grew stronger. If that was true, this situation made even less sense. I looked at Lusef. With a bitter expression, he couldn’t even look me straight in the eye.

“Why…? Minerva hasn’t been gone for long. You’re saying he just became a god?”

“That’s right, that’s right.”

“But why…”

“He volunteered.”

Volunteered?

It was another incomprehensible sound. For a moment, I wondered if the meaning of the word ‘volunteer’ had changed from what I knew. But no matter how I thought about it, no other meaning came to mind.

Minerva volunteered for sacrifice?

I barely managed to hold back my face from distorting. I don’t know what’s going on. I was so confused that I didn’t know what to do next or what to say. Instead, I turned to Troel, who was next to me. He was just staring at Minerva, who was slowly descending. I couldn’t read his expression at all.

Soon, Minerva, who had completely descended, landed on the ground. “Yo—” Lusef raised his hand with an awkward face. A faint smile appeared on Minerva’s lips as he met his gaze.

“It was a close call, Lusef. I was worried that I had failed because the signal didn’t come.”

“No, well. It was harder to find than I thought.”

“But it’s okay since I’m not late. Thank you for your hard work. Leave the rest to me.”

At the calm reply, Lusef tried to say something but scratched the back of his head nervously. As Minerva took a step forward, leaving him behind, I hurriedly approached him. This time too, Minerva greeted me with a faint smile.

“El.”

“Minerva…”

“No, it’s Perdes now.”

Ah, right. Now that I think about it, he seemed to have received a new name. The introduction I had vaguely heard a little while ago flashed through my mind. Was he called the god of death and the dead? It was a title that suited him so well, who had become more enchanting with his black hair. If this wasn’t the situation, I would have admired him more freely. But right now, I was struggling just to endure other thoughts.

“What happened? Why are you…”

My voice trembled as I tried to suppress the urge to urge him urgently. As if to soothe me, Minerva, no, Perdes, smiled quietly.

“It was something someone had to do. I just judged that it would be best for me to do it.”

“Why, why? Why do you make that judgment? You just became a god.”

“That’s exactly why. Because I haven’t been a god for long, I don’t have much attachment to this position. I don’t have any responsibilities, and I don’t have much work to burden, so there are the fewest aftereffects.”

“But this doesn’t make sense…”

“That’s the same for everyone anyway.”

My heart sank. Unlike the desire to shake my head, no voice came out. Perdes was right. Someone had to sacrifice anyway, and it wasn’t natural for anyone. Once I thought that far, I wondered if I had the right to stop him.

Suddenly, my gaze reached Eluen, who was standing nearby. When I couldn’t recognize who was coming down from the sky a little while ago, the feeling that had briefly passed by came to mind again. —I was relieved that it wasn’t Eluen.

“Don’t make that face.”

Perdes smiled bitterly. His affectionate gaze seemed to read all my thoughts, so I couldn’t bear to meet his eyes. Feeling like my whole body was exposed, I chose to lower my head. I didn’t know I had such an ugly heart. My stomach was churning so much that I couldn’t stand it.

“Mine… no, Perdes, I…”

“It’s okay, El. I’m not completely disappearing anyway. I’m just being removed from the divine register and becoming one of the ordinary souls. I didn’t want to be a god in the first place anyway. No, maybe this is the path I wanted.”

“What does that…”

“I’ve always wanted to be human.”

“…!”

Minerva wanted to be human? At the story I heard for the first time, I reflexively raised my head. Perdes had a calm smiling face.

“You have an unexpected expression. El, do you think being a god is better than living as a human?”

“Ah, well…”

“Yeah, you might be right. Maybe I’m just longing for a path I haven’t been on. But I’ve long thought that the life of an observer doesn’t suit me. I wanted to live in a fierce world where I could cry and laugh to my heart’s content, love and be loved. Even if it’s infinitely insignificant in the big picture.”

“Perdes…”

“If I could have chosen, I would have chosen the human world from the beginning this time too. Of course, I would have avoided becoming a god as much as possible afterward. So the divine status doesn’t mean much to me. El, I hope you understand this decision.”

…But then we won’t be able to meet. Are you still okay with that, Perdes?

I barely swallowed the words that had risen to the tip of my tongue. I couldn’t bring myself to say something that sounded like I was resenting him, as I couldn’t offer any other alternatives. It wasn’t a fight, but it felt like I had been defeated miserably. While I was biting my lip, Perdes lightly patted my shoulder. Only then did his gaze turn to Troel, who was next to me.

“Hello.”

“Yeah, hello.”

As if seeing each other for the first time, a short greeting was exchanged between the two people facing each other. Troel stared intently at Perdes, as if he was curious and interested.

“Your hair has turned black.”

“Is it weird?”

“No, it suits you well. It’s a pity that today is the first and last time I’ll see this look.”

As much as the calm answer, Troel’s expression still didn’t change at all. Perhaps that was embarrassing, Perdes asked carefully.

“Are you angry?”

“Why do you think so?”

“Because I surprised you with this decision.”

“Not at all. I wasn’t surprised at all. Actually, I knew it all along since the purification formation failed. I already saw it.”

“…!”

I was more surprised by that answer and widened my eyes. Suddenly, I remembered when he appeared with a painful face a while ago. He asked me to lend him tears again. He said he had learned something he didn’t want to know. But he didn’t say what it was, so I couldn’t do anything but hug him. From then on, Troel knew that this day would come.

“The future is fluid, so I hoped it would be avoided. But the result was still like this.”

“…Are you tired of me?”

“Are you saying that seriously?”

This time, Troel lightly chuckled. It was as if he was saying how could you say such a ridiculous thing. When the embarrassed Perdes blinked, Troel continued in a languid tone.

“I’m not tired of you. It’s not like I didn’t know you would be like this. Before you gave your heart to that human 4,000 years ago, you especially poured your heart into that weak and selfish race. I knew it all along from the beginning. There’s no way I’d get tired of it now.”

“…Troel.”

“You thought I hated humans because I was protecting you. Yeah, it’s similar. I really hated humans. I thought you would fly away among them someday and never come back to us, just like now.”

“…Troel.”

“And I wouldn’t be able to stop it. Just like when you fell in love with that lowly human man, I had to just watch.”

A heavy silence flowed for a while. Perdes’s face, who couldn’t find words to excuse himself, was clouded. Troel, who slowly examined the appearance as if to capture it in his eyes, opened his mouth first with a light sigh.

“I’m not saying this to blame you. I’m just saying that’s how it is. But the situation has changed a bit now. Thanks to El, I learned that the Spirit King becomes a god. You don’t know how much comfort that has been to me.”

“…?”

“I’m going to become a god.”

The following words were almost a declaration. Perdes, who paused for a moment, barely smiled.

“Yeah. I guess so. It’s a pity that I can’t see that look. It would definitely suit you well.”

“No, you can see it. We’ll meet again.”

“What…”

“Wherever you are, whatever you look like, I’m going to find you. If the you I find dies, I’ll keep finding you again and again in the next life and the next life.”

“…!”

“I told you, I’ll remember you. The words I said back then are still valid. It’s just that remembering is my responsibility, so you can forget everything.”

“Why, why would you go that far…”

“I wonder why.”

Troel, who answered as if muttering, suddenly smiled painfully.

“I think I like you a lot.”

Perdes’s eyes widened. I was also surprised and looked at Troel. It was when Perdes, who showed embarrassment, was about to open his mouth. Suddenly, Troel laughed playfully.

“Are you regretting it a little?”

“You…”

The suffocating air became comfortable in an instant. Perdes, who was dumbfounded by Troel’s nonchalant appearance as if nothing had happened, soon let out a hollow laugh.

“You’re bad.”

“But you wouldn’t have given up even if my feelings were real, would you?”

“That’s… right.”

“Which one is really bad?”

Perdes chuckled at the sight of him clicking his tongue as if he was dumbfounded. It was clear that he had completely taken his words as a joke. In fact, Troel’s expression also didn’t seem like he was hiding deep emotions no matter how I looked at it.

But was it really a joke? Was Troel the type to make these kinds of jokes? I felt like my throat was getting choked with some kind of premonition that filled my head. Of course, it must be a misunderstanding. Minerva knew him much longer than I did. It was an enormous amount of time that couldn’t be compared to just a few years. There was no way he wouldn’t notice what I noticed.

However, sometimes the person closest to you is the furthest from the truth. The moment I felt Troel’s gaze meet mine, I was breathless. Everything was so clear that it was strange not to realize it. The reason I couldn’t say anything was because he shook his head slightly. ‘I’m okay.’ I heard the words he was conveying in the passing gaze.

“You always say things so seriously that I don’t know where the truth ends and the joke begins.”

“You don’t need to know that. I don’t know either.”

“You really are…”

“But it’s true that I’m going to become a god and find you. I’ll always support you from behind so that you can be at peace wherever you are. I think that’s all I can do for you.”

“Troel, you don’t have to do that.”

“No, I want my heart to be at ease. So don’t look back at anything. Don’t waver or hesitate, just go the way you want to go.”

“…I’m always comforted by you. I’m sorry that I’m such a bad friend compared to that.”

“Don’t apologize. Saying you’re bad was a joke. You’re not bad at all.”

Troel laughed lightly and shook his head. Then he reached out and gently grabbed Perdes’s black hair. Then he slowly kissed it.

“It’s just that my feelings are bigger than yours.”

Perdes’s eyes shook. Even he seemed to be trying to figure out the truth while awkwardly smiling, wondering if he had noticed something strange. No matter how much it was him, he must have felt something strange.