Elqueeness [EN]: Chapter 583

583.

“If you became human, did your appearance change too?”

Ifrit, who had been looking away as if uninterested, glanced at me and asked. He probably wanted to maintain a haughty demeanor, but I couldn’t help but smile, realizing he couldn’t overcome his curiosity.

“Only my hair and eye color were different, but the rest was almost the same. Oh, and I had a gender. I was a man.”

“What’s the point of having a gender if your face is the same?”

“Haha, what do you mean by that?”

“What do I mean? I’m saying that whoever you were dealing with would have been confused anyway.”

“Still, it feels different!”

Ifrit scoffed at my sharp reply. Oh, really? His gaze, looking down on me, was full of ridicule. How important is the difference in feeling! I wanted to tell him that there was at least room for excuses, but I knew I would only feel sorry for myself, so I just held back.

Come to think of it, I must be genderless again now. I belatedly looked down at my body. There was no difference in appearance, but I was sure my gender had disappeared without even checking. It was the only good thing about going to the past, and I felt a little sad. Then, my gaze fell on my hair, and I lightly grabbed a handful.

The hair wrapped around my palm was no longer blonde but blue. A clear water color like a deep blue sea. This is what it should be, but I felt strange having the color that Ellyuen of the past had.

“What? What’s wrong? Is there a problem?”

Ifrit asked, noticing that I was staring at my hair strangely. Seeing the concern in his eyes, everything felt alright again. I immediately reached out and hugged Ifrit and Miné again.

“No, there’s no problem! Ugh~ Anyway, I’m so glad to see you guys again! I really missed you so much!”

“Ah, what is it again! Disgusting! Don’t keep clinging to me, go away!”

“Ifrit, it’s rude to keep rejecting El when he’s so happy.”

“Shut up!”

I missed this bickering atmosphere, even the annoyed voice. Feeling the reality of being back, I didn’t let go of the two Spirit Kings for a long time. Ifrit, who was busy pushing me away at first, eventually gave up and patted my head.

“It seems like you’re having a good reunion.”

It was around then that I heard a voice filled with laughter. When I turned my head, I saw a black-haired boy smiling.

“Trowell!”

I had already enjoyed the joy of reunion with him enough, but seeing him in reality felt different. I quickly ran and hugged him, and he laughed cheerfully and hugged me back.

“You’ve been asleep for a long time, are you feeling uncomfortable anywhere?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Okay, that’s a relief.”

“Ah, what about Lapis? What happened to Lapis?”

I was so focused on the fact that I had returned to reality that I hadn’t even thought about his existence. Now that I’ve returned to my original body, the human body I was temporarily using must have disappeared. Shouldn’t I have given Ellyuen the Soul Stone before leaving? I asked, flustered by the belated realization, and Trowell replied calmly.

“Ellyuen has retrieved Lapis’ soul. He must have sent it to the underworld.”

“Ah…….”

He went straight to the underworld. My expression darkened, and Trowell gave a bitter smile.

“Don’t make that face. He won’t be on the path to reincarnation right away. I promised him before, so I’ll give him some time to say goodbye.”

“Really? That would be nice.”

Then I can see his face again. I felt relieved thinking that it wasn’t over like this. But Ifrit and Miné’s expressions were strange. Their faces were stiff as if they were dissatisfied, and their gazes were directed at Trowell. Trowell noticed their gazes and smiled awkwardly.

“Are you back now?”

“Umm, I’m back.”

“‘I’m back,’ you say! That’s a great thing to do! Do you know how anxious I was, thinking that disaster would repeat itself?”

“Haha, sorry, sorry. Anyway, I’m back safe and sound like this.”

It was a rebuke for Trowell leaving the Spirit Realm. Now that I think about it, moving with his main body was a really dangerous act. Apart from being grateful to him, I couldn’t take his side on this matter. But the following words were a little embarrassing.

“Are you laughing now? All the plants on the continent are on the verge of withering!”

“Huh? Already?”

I reflexively retorted without realizing it. The time we spent reuniting was at most less than an hour. Even if I got lost on the way, it would have been a few days at most. No matter how much the Spirit King was away, there was no way that a problem would occur in that period. But Miné gave an unexpected answer.

“It’s not just a few days, El. It’s almost been five years.”

“……What?”

“Many of the Earth Spirits have already disappeared. There are only a few Clay and Mulch left.”

“What is…….”

Five years? That brief moment was five years?

I was stunned for a moment, then my mind stopped. ……Then how many years have I spent in the past? How long has it been here?

I looked at Trowell, asking for an explanation. He was making a difficult expression.

“I was going to tell you slowly…….”

“What, what happened, Trowell? What are you talking about? The time you stayed to pick me up was short. How could that be five years?”

“Um, first, don’t be surprised, El. Many irregularities occur in space-time. Matching the departure orbit and the return orbit is almost impossible. So it seems like there’s a difference in time. I thought it would be okay if it was only a few days, but I guess my calculations were wrong.”

“Then what about me?”

“…….”

“How long…… have I been asleep?”

I couldn’t stop my voice from trembling, even though I was trying to stay calm. Trowell sighed for a moment and then stared at me calmly.

“Promise me you won’t be shocked first. Promise me you won’t be surprised no matter what you hear.”

“That’s, that’s not something I can control.”

“I know it’s impossible. But try not to get excited. The earth’s energy is too weak right now, so if your emotions run wild, there will be a flood in Arkadon.”

“……Okay. I’ll be careful. I won’t get excited, so tell me. How long has it been?”

My fingertips hardened with anxiety. Ten years? Surely not decades. My mind was filled with even worse thoughts, but I forcibly suppressed the ominous feeling that kept rushing in. It couldn’t be. That kind of thing wouldn’t happen. I brainwashed myself and forcibly regained my composure. But the moment I saw Trowell’s face distorted as if in pain, I knew that all of that was futile hope.

“It’s been 300 years.”

The world stopped for a moment.

“300 years have passed since the day you left.”

A terrible ringing echoed in my ears. It felt like a sharp hook had violently scratched my head.

“El, are you okay?”

“El!”

I heard urgent voices calling me. When I came to my senses, I was already sitting on the floor. I blankly raised my head and saw everyone looking at me with pale faces.

“300 years?”

“El, calm down first…….”

“Answer me first. Has it really been 300 years? Has it been 300 years since I fell asleep?”

“……Yes.”

“……Then what about Isana?”

“…….”

“What about Alisa? What about Asel and the Champagne Mercenary Group? Are they all dead? Are they no longer in this world?”

“El…….”

I didn’t need to hear the answer. The gazes full of pity were already the answer. My insides were seething with a chaotic emotion that I couldn’t even define. I repeatedly wiped my face with both hands and clenched my fists tightly.

It was only 4 years at most. Only 4 years had passed for me. But here, 300 years have passed. All the precious people have died and are no longer in this world. The people I thought would be waiting for me, the people I thought I could meet again with a smile, I can never see them again.

“Ha… haha… hahahaha…….”

I laughed without even knowing why I was laughing. Everyone is playing a terrible joke. I wanted to think it was absurd. But terribly, there was evidence that prevented me from turning away from the truth.

I couldn’t feel the bond of the contract I had made with Isana. No matter how carefully I looked, it was the same. Unless I arbitrarily terminated it, there was only one reason for it to disappear. The death of the contracting party.

“Haha…….”

Only a futile laugh came out, and tears fell in drops. Trowell hugged me tightly. I couldn’t escape from his embrace, nor could I hug him back, and I barely let out a shallow breath.

I don’t regret going to find Lapis. But the ending that came back as a result of that choice is like this. There’s no need to be so cruel. It shouldn’t be like this.

I bit my lip tightly because strange groans kept trying to leak out. I wish someone would tell me I was having a nightmare. That I was trapped in another bad illusion. But no matter how long I waited, there was no sign of waking up. I’d rather go crazy like this.

* * *

“This might be better for you.”

Ellyuen said to me, who had been secluded in the Water Domain for days. He gently stroked my head as I huddled with my knees pulled up.

“It’s something you have to go through someday anyway. Human lifespan is extremely short. You can’t be together forever, and the end isn’t always beautiful. This is the fate that immortals must bear. Are you going to collapse every time this happens in the future?”

“…….”

“It’s actually lucky that you parted with only good memories. Think of it as a very long journey. If it’s a connection that’s meant to be with you, it will definitely return to you, even if it’s not in that form.”

He was talking about reincarnation. That someday I might meet Isana again, reborn on this earth. Hope arose, but at the same time, I became depressed.

“But, that’s different.”

“What’s different?”

“It’s not the Isana I knew. Her appearance, her personality, she won’t even remember me.”

“If those things disappear, does the essence also change?”

I couldn’t answer the following question. I closed my mouth, speechless, and again a gentle touch reached me.

“Even if you choose the path of the human world after finishing your term as Spirit King, you will still be my son. Even if you don’t recognize me at all, and have a completely different face and personality, that won’t change. What about you?”

That was a problem that didn’t even need to be considered. Even if he didn’t recognize me in the past, he was still my father. Although it was that much harder and lonelier, even if the same thing happened again, that premise would not disappear. No matter where I met him, in whatever form, he was my father.

“Yes, that’s exactly the kind of heart it is.”

Ellyuen held my hand tightly. My throat choked up at the gaze filled with affection and concern.

“It’s good to mourn and remember. But you mustn’t be consumed by sadness. The reason why humans fear loss is because they only look at what’s right in front of them. Because the given life is short, they can’t promise the next one. But El, you’re not like that.”

“…….”

“You are a Spirit King. You must look at the world from a different perspective than humans. You can see more possibilities and explore other methods. Are you still going to cling to the memories of the past? Even though you know it doesn’t help anyone?”

He was right. I knew that what I was doing was meaningless. Once time has passed, it doesn’t come back, and even if I’m buried in sadness, the given ending doesn’t change. Even though I knew it, it was difficult to push away the despair that kept rushing in. Ellyuen’s expression also darkened as I couldn’t answer easily.

“It’s not that your emotions are wrong right now. Rather, there will be more advantages to you having this kind of personality. But if it hurts you, I can’t see it as an advantage anymore.”

“I, Father, I…….”

“If you had been born as a Spirit King from the beginning, this process wouldn’t even be necessary. El, do you want to use the time you lived as a human as a trap?”

Those words made me come to my senses. I immediately shook my head violently. I don’t want that. I won’t do that. “Yes, I thought you would answer that way.” Ellyuen, who let out a faint breath, relaxed his stiff face.

“In the end, everything depends on what you decide. Memories can be the sweetest honey or the bitterest poison, depending on how you use them. I believe that my son will choose the wise path.”

“……Yes.”

“If you can’t bear it, look around you first. If there are people who have left, there are also those who remain by your side. Don’t forget that you have more to give than just counting what you’ve lost.”

“Yes, I understand, Father.”

I nodded repeatedly, holding back the tears that were bursting out. Ellyuen pulled me into his arms. I leaned my head on his shoulder and shed tears endlessly. He patted my shoulder and stroked my hair until I calmed down. His touch was so gentle that it made me cry even more.

The hardest thing must have been for the people who waited for me to return all their lives, and I don’t even know if I deserve to receive this comfort. But right now, I had no choice but to cling to that kindness.

I felt much better after crying my heart out. By that time, Ellyuen had returned to the Divine Realm. I thought I wouldn’t be able to escape from my obsessive thoughts if I stayed in the domain, so I decided to move my body. When I came outside, a wide-open view unfolded. Jewel flowers that seemed to contain light and fresh trees decorated in various shapes. Even the somewhat cloudy sky was as beautiful as if it had been drawn. This was also Paradise that I hadn’t seen in a long time.

As I stood blankly in front of it, the Water Spirits slowly approached. I stroked সিকুएल [Likely a typo, needs context to correct], who was pushing his head as if acting spoiled, and slowly moved my steps, following Undine, who was pulling on my clothes. The place I arrived at was where the Spirit Kings, including Trowell, were gathered. They were sitting with serious expressions, and they were surprised and got up when they found me.

“El!”

“Hi, everyone?”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just gave a clumsy greeting. Trowell, who ran over right away, checked my expression first.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I’m so glad. I was worried.”
Trowell’s face, smiling brightly, was full of relief. I smiled back with a grateful and apologetic heart, and Ifrit grumbled.

“Please don’t worry me. What’s so important about a few humans dying?”

“Ifrit!”

“Did I say anything wrong? It’s not like you didn’t know, everyone knows that human lifespans are much shorter than ours. You can just think that you experienced something that you were going to experience anyway. Why are you acting like the world is ending?”

The content is almost the same as what Ellyuen said, but the feeling is completely different. It was like a typical example of how much the same words can change depending on the speaker. It also seemed like an example of how the saying that one word can repay a thousand *nyang* [ancient Korean currency] debt was not created for nothing. Then Miné quietly scolded with a blank face.

“Don’t be too harsh, Ifrit. It’s because El has a delicate personality.”

“Well, that uselessly delicate heart! Why don’t you just throw it away!”

“If Ifrit throws away that rude personality, El will become like that too.”

“What?”

Fire and wind should have good compatibility. Looking at these two, it doesn’t seem to be the case. I smiled faintly at Trowell, who was looking at me with an uneasy expression. Ifrit’s remarks were strong, but I knew he was saying it because he was worried about me, so I didn’t feel offended.