Fifth Vital [EN]: Chapter 124

Fifth Vital Sign – Episode 124 (124/502)

124. An Attempt for the Wounded

“A patient?”

“Yes. A 24-year-old female with a 2cm laceration on her left wrist.”

“What’s the cause?”

“Self-harm. She drank about half a bottle of soju [Korean distilled spirit] while intoxicated.”

“I’ll be right there.”

Tae-kyung got up from his seat and headed to the bed where the patient was.

Clatter-

“Hello, I’m the emergency room surgeon on duty today.”

A woman with a slender figure and innocent looks stared blankly at Tae-kyung. Then, without answering, she lowered her head.

“Can I take a look at your wound?”

Sometimes, when working in the emergency room, you’re bound to encounter certain types of patients.

While patients with traffic accidents or fractures are a constant, others appear more frequently at specific times.

These numbers increase, especially on rainy days, and as the night deepens into the early morning.

Most people would think of violent patients due to alcohol, but it wasn’t just that. These aren’t just occasional encounters; these patients are always there, like the beds in the emergency room.

It was the self-harm patients Tae-kyung was seeing right now.

“Can I see your wrist?”

Tae-kyung spoke to the patient, who was still silent, and only then did the woman raise her hand.

“Let me take a look.”

In the emergency room, young patients who have harmed themselves, like this patient, come quite often. And this patient showed a similar pattern to those who had harmed themselves before.

Most of them come in with their wrists cut with something like a box cutter. Looking at their wrists, there were traces of the past.

This woman also had another scar above her current wound. Still, thankfully, she harmed herself in a place where there was no immediate danger to her life.

“Fortunately, the wound isn’t very deep right now. So, I’ll stitch it up right away.”

“…Yes.”

“Prepare for suturing. Prepare nylon 4-0 (a method of indicating the thickness of the needle and the thread attached to it).”

“Yes, I understand.”

Tae-kyung went to the left side of the bed where the patient was lying, sat down, unfolded the disinfection equipment, and disinfected the self-inflicted wound.

“I’m going to disinfect it now. It’ll sting.”

“Ugh!”

The patient flinched and made a sound as the red antiseptic touched her.

“Okay, now I’m going to numb it.”

“Um… just a moment.”

“Yes?”

“Will the anesthesia hurt a lot?”

The patient, who had been indifferent and unresponsive until now, asked Tae-kyung.

“It won’t hurt as much as when you cut your wrist.”

“…Yes.”

“Are you scared it’ll hurt?”

“Yes…”

“Why did you do this if you’re so scared?”

Tae-kyung felt bad seeing people who harmed themselves at such a young age.

“…”

The patient closed her mouth and said nothing.

“Okay, it’ll sting.”

The needle went in and out about eight times around the self-inflicted wound to inject the anesthetic. The patient winced and frowned each time.

“It’s numb. I’ll start suturing now.”

Tae-kyung, after checking whether it was numb, was about to suture. But he saw the patient’s upper body moving excessively.

When he looked up, he saw her chest moving rapidly, then trembling as she slowly exhaled.

“Hoo!”

The patient was crying now. To be exact, she was holding back her tears.

“Are you okay?”

Tae-kyung, who had quietly started suturing, spoke to the patient who looked distressed.

“What’s making you so sad?”

“Ah… it’s nothing.”

“Are you very upset? It seems like you’re having a hard time. Are you okay?”

“Yes?”

“You’ve been through a lot.”

At Tae-kyung’s words, the patient, who had been holding back her tears, trembled even more as she breathed. The pent-up, sorrowful tears burst out and echoed in the treatment room.

“Did you have a fight with someone?”

“No.”

“Then you’re just doing this on your own?”

“Yes…”

“Does self-harm make you feel a little better?”

“No. Not at all…”

“Then why did you do it?”

“Because it’s hard.”

Tae-kyung and the patient with the wrist wound both knew that harming yourself by inflicting wounds on your body doesn’t make things better. But like this patient’s short answer, she had been holding back and enduring, and enduring, and then had a momentary lapse in judgment because it was too hard.

“What’s going on?”

There was another reason why Tae-kyung kept asking questions. It wasn’t because he was curious about the self-harm patient’s personal life.

Self-harm can become a habit if you try it once or twice, so he wanted to help.

In fact, what was important to this patient wasn’t the suturing of this wound. Because her mind was the problem, and because there was a possibility of further self-harm and even suicide, the psychiatric problem was much more urgent and important.

Tae-kyung was trying to start that conversation.

“It’s just that my mom is into a cult. She has cancer…”

“…”

“She’s a cancer patient, she needs to get treatment, but she’s only focused on that cult. It’s so hard.”

“It must be very hard. Is there anyone you can talk to about that problem?”

The patient shook her head and continued.

“No one.”

“What about your father?”

“Of course, he knows. But he’s having an even harder time than I am. Dad’s already struggling with this issue, so I can’t bring it up.”

“Still, if you look around, there will be someone who will accept you unconditionally.”

“If I say it, the person listening will have a hard time.”

“No. You’re wrong.”

Tae-kyung answered firmly to the patient who was speaking with a bitter smile.

“If you don’t say it, it’ll fester inside you.”

“…”

The patient was silent for a moment after hearing Tae-kyung’s answer.

She hadn’t even thought about the simple fact that she was festering because of the whirlwind of family problems. Her mind was only filled with thoughts about her mother.

“Would you like to get counseling?”

“No.”

“Can I ask why?”

“I don’t have time, and I don’t think it’ll be of much help.”

“You might think so. But why did you come to the hospital now?”

“Yes?”

“You came to get your wound stitched up because it hurts, right?”

“Yes.”

“When it hurts and bleeds, you come to the hospital to get it stitched up, take medicine, or get treatment. Am I right?”

“Yes.”

“The mind is the same. If it hurts, you have to treat it. Just like flesh needs to be stitched up if it needs suturing, and just like it needs time for the flesh to heal, the mind is the same. You know that too, right? You have a wound in your mind.”

“…”

“You need treatment. If it doesn’t seem helpful, try moving to another hospital to find a doctor who suits you, or try other methods. But you have to keep trying to heal the wound. Because if there’s a wound, it hurts.”

“You speak so gently.”

“Is that so? I hope it reaches your heart.”

“…”

Sometimes, people are comforted by just a small word that means nothing. The patient was like that.

It was just a hospital she came to in order to treat her wounded wrist. But she received not only treatment for her wound but also comfort for her heart.

“First, I’ll do my best to stitch you up. And someone will come to talk to you and offer support. If you feel uncomfortable, you don’t have to say anything. Just listen to what she has to say, okay?”

“…”

“If you don’t want to, don’t force yourself…”

“I’ll take it.”

“Okay. Thank you for trying to take care of your precious body and mind.”

“Um, but why are you doing this…?”

“Are you curious?”

“Yes.”

“It’s simple. Because I’m a doctor who saves people.”

Tae-kyung wasn’t doing this because this woman was special. Tae-kyung had always been like this when similar patients came to the hospital.

However, it wasn’t that every patient’s reaction was good every time. There were patients who accepted it like now, and there were patients who didn’t.

Sometimes, there were people who told him not to pretend to know anything and just fix their illness or disease. But the reason why Tae-kyung continued to do the same thing to these patients was the very simple reason that he didn’t want them to give up on life.

When he saw patients who were crossing the brink of death several times a day and patients undergoing surgery to live, he couldn’t help but think about life. So, when he saw patients who had attempted self-harm or suicide, he wanted to give them even a small amount of help.

“You seem like a really good doctor.”

“Is that so? Thank you. Can I say one more thing?”

“Ah, yes.”

“I hope you’ll remember just one thing from now on: that your body and mind are very precious. Got it?”

“Yes. Thank you, doctor.”

“You’ve been through a lot. Wait a moment.”

Tae-kyung finished suturing, said goodbye to the patient, and got up from his seat. Then he called the on-duty psychiatrist.

“Hello, this is ER. I’m calling because it seems like a patient needs to be seen. Yes. Thank you.”

Tae-kyung’s face looked brighter after hanging up the phone.

It may seem like a simple suture, but Tae-kyung didn’t just suture with his hands. He sutured with his hands, mouth, and heart.

It wasn’t just when the results were good for patients with serious diseases, illnesses, or major surgeries due to accidents that he felt good.

Even if it was a small thing like just now, he felt equally good as a doctor when the patient sent a positive signal.

“Still, it’s worth coming down to the ER.”

He was especially tired today, so he actually wanted to get some sleep. He was forced to come down because of his junior’s enteritis [inflammation of the small intestine].

“Yeah. This is why I’m a doctor.”

“Dr. Kim, are you okay?”

“Yes? Why?”

The nurse at the emergency room station asked Tae-kyung with a worried expression.

“Did something happen?”

“No, it’s just that I thought you were smiling as you walked over, so I thought you were too tired.”

“No. I smiled because I was in a good mood.”

“Did you get a call from your girlfriend or something?”

“I’m single.”

“Ah! I’m sorry for being rude… But why are you in a good mood?”

The nurse wondered what could make a person who had just treated a patient feel good.

“Sometimes, there are good things that happen in the emergency room.”

“When I see you, you’re a very unique person.”

“Me?”

“Yes. I don’t know if it’s because I see you every time, but you always have a good expression in front of patients, no matter how busy you are.”

“Is that so? I didn’t know.”

“It’s normal for it to show on your face when you’re tired, but you’re amazing.”

“Oh, you’re praising me too much because the emergency room is busy today.”

“Oh my. Was it obvious?”

“Yes. It was obvious.”

“Dr. Kim, over here!”

“Yes, Chief, I’m coming.”

While he was talking to the nurse, Tae-kyung hurriedly headed to where the patient was being called from.

That day, the woman whose self-inflicted wrist wound Tae-kyung treated was Yoo Ji-cheon’s daughter, Kim Jin-kyung.

After that day, Kim Jin-kyung steadily received counseling from a psychiatrist.

Several months passed, and one day, Tae-kyung encountered Yoo Ji-cheon, who had been brought by Kim Jin-kyung for an outpatient visit.

He had diagnosed cancer in its early stages but had not undergone surgery, and Tae-kyung looked at Yoo Ji-cheon’s condition and sighed with pity as he examined him.

“Patient Yoo Ji-cheon, you must have surgery.”

He persuaded the patient and raised his voice, emphasizing the importance of surgery and treatment, and then finished the examination.

“You understand, right? You must get treatment. Okay?”

“I’ll persuade my mom. And doctor? Do you remember me?”

After the examination, Kim Jin-kyung, who was holding Yoo Ji-cheon’s hand and leaving the examination room, said to Tae-kyung.

“Thanks to the doctor who cheered me on in the emergency room that day, I’m doing well.”

Of course, her situation hadn’t changed dramatically. But Tae-kyung thought it was fortunate because Kim Jin-kyung’s expression was a little better than it had been a few months ago.

“Thank you so much for catching me that day.”

Kim Jin-kyung held her mother’s hand, said goodbye cheerfully, and left the examination room.