Fifth Vital [EN]: Chapter 156

Five Vital Signs – Episode 156 (156/502)

Episode 156. The World’s Three Biggest Lies

He had only one problem: he loved cigarettes.

Lee Gwi-nam was a heavy smoker.

“No, Doctor, do you really think I’m going out for a smoke? Really?”

Tae-kyung remained silent, still gesturing with his extended fingertip, wanting the cigarette.

“No, Doctor, how could you think that of me? I really don’t have any cigarettes.”

Lee Gwi-nam insisted he didn’t have any cigarettes, as if he had been falsely accused.

“I’m not crazy. I had cancer surgery. Would I really smoke?”

“You have a history.”

Two evenings ago, Lee Gwi-nam was caught red-handed by Jang Deuk-chil, who was on patrol, squatting against a wall in the corner of the hospital yard, smoking a cigarette.

“Well, that day, my old buddy came to visit, and, well, he was smoking so deliciously…”

“Still, you shouldn’t have smoked. Give me the cigarette quickly.”

“I really don’t have it. After you scolded me that time, I haven’t even looked at the ‘ㄷ’ [Korean character resembling a cigarette] of cigarettes.”

Having met countless patients as a doctor, Tae-kyung always trusted and believed his patients.

However, there were some he didn’t trust: alcoholics and heavy smokers.

Of course, not all of them were like that. But most addicts often returned to alcohol and cigarettes despite the doctor’s advice and repeated warnings.

“Patient, there’s a joke about the world’s three biggest lies. Do you know what they are?”

“Three biggest lies…? What are they?”

“First, a drug addict saying they’ve quit drugs. Second, an alcoholic saying they haven’t touched a drop of alcohol. Third…”

“I think I know the third one without you saying it. Isn’t it heavy smokers saying they’ve quit or haven’t smoked?”

“Yes, you know it well. So, you’re saying you don’t have any cigarettes right now?”

“That’s right.”

“Then I’ll check.”

“Of course. I’m being falsely accused, so check as much as you want.”

Lee Gwi-nam insisted on his innocence as if he had been unfairly dragged in. Tae-kyung approached him and touched his patient gown pocket.

“… !”

Oh! This isn’t right. But he really didn’t have any cigarettes.

“Patient, can you show me your arm?”

“Here! Look.”

Just in case, he rolled up his sleeve, but no cigarette was visible.

There was a time when a heavy smoker hid a cigarette on his arm. He remembered that and checked, but no cigarette was visible.

‘That’s strange.’

Actually, he suspected Lee Gwi-nam because he was a heavy smoker with a history, but there was another reason.

A moment ago, when he greeted him, he smelled a very faint cigarette odor on his body, so he had a reasonable suspicion.

Tap- Tap-

“See? I don’t have it, right?”

Lee Gwi-nam patted his chest and body with both hands, emphasizing that he didn’t have any cigarettes.

“Doctor, I’m really disappointed. Why don’t you believe me?”

“Okay. I guess I suspected you for no reason.”

He felt like he had gone to the bathroom and come out without cleaning up properly [a Korean expression for feeling like something is incomplete or awkward].

Tae-kyung felt uneasy, but since there were no cigarettes, he decided to believe Lee Gwi-nam.

“Patient, you really shouldn’t smoke, okay?”

“I really won’t. If I get caught, I might get torn apart by our bulldog.”

“Bulldog?”

“That’s my wife’s nickname. If I get caught smoking…”

That’s when Lee Gwi-nam was talking.

“Hey! Lee Gwi-nam?”

A strong roar was heard from the far end of the hallway, and Lee Gwi-nam’s words were cut off in an instant.

“Oh, you! Oh my! Doctor, you’re here too. Hello. Are you making your rounds?”

“Yes, hello.”

“Perfect timing. Doctor, please scold this man so he doesn’t smoke. I didn’t even know he got caught smoking two days ago. He still hasn’t come to his senses.”

“No, what are you talking about? Who’s smoking?”

“Tsk. Seeing your voice getting louder, you’re lying again. Do you think I don’t know you took the cigarettes I hid while I went to the lounge to talk to our eldest [oldest child] on the phone?”

“What are you talking about to someone who’s just going out for some air?”

“Going out for air, my foot [an expression of disbelief or disagreement].”

“Has this man been living being deceived?”

“Yes. I’ve been deceived by you for almost 30 years. Don’t say much and hand it over if you don’t want to be embarrassed in front of people.”

“Ah! Seriously, stop embarrassing me in front of the doctor. I really don’t have it… Ugh! Where is this woman putting her hands… Honey!”

Lee Gwi-nam’s voice, which had been confidently asserting his innocence until the end, suddenly dropped to the ground and screamed.

“You’re in the palm of my hand [meaning: I know you very well and can control you].”

His wife suddenly reached into the inside of his patient gown’s thigh.

“Hey! You crazy woman, what are you doing? Take your hand out!”

When Lee Gwi-nam thrashed and pulled out his wife’s hand, surprisingly, she was holding a cigarette with tape on it.

“Seriously! You still don’t have cigarettes? Huh? Try fooling a ghost.”

“No, when did that get in there? Why is a cigarette coming out from there…”

Lee Gwi-nam, who had been forcibly quitting smoking since the surgery, was even shaking from withdrawal symptoms.

Unable to bear it any longer, he desperately wanted a cigarette, so while his wife went out to talk to their daughter, he hid the cigarette on his thigh with Scotch tape.

“Did the cigarette grow legs [a humorous way of saying ‘how did that get there?’]?”

“I, I guess it grew legs.”

“You rascal! When are you going to grow up? Huh! You had cancer because of this and had surgery, so what are you going to do if you try to smoke again? Didn’t you see your father?”

“No, how can cigarettes cause stomach cancer?”

There was a reason why his wife was speaking so harshly.

Lee Gwi-nam’s father had died of lung cancer caused by smoking.

Lee Gwi-nam’s father, whose lung cancer caused by smoking had metastasized to other organs, including the stomach, had a difficult battle with the disease.

He even left a message telling his son to quit smoking, worried that he would follow in his footsteps.

“My father and I are different. My lungs are fine.”

“Is that what you’re saying now? What’s fine! You can’t even run as well as you used to because you’re out of breath.”

“That’s because I’m getting old.”

The wife was upset and angry because of her husband’s immature words.

“Don’t you know it was a stroke of luck that the doctor found it in the early stages? You would have died if it weren’t for that. If you have any conscience, you should think about quitting smoking.”

“You’re making such a fuss over a cigarette. I’m going to get calluses on my ears [tired of hearing the same thing]. Stop it.”

“You’re really going to die if you keep doing that. Hey! Lee Gwi-nam, do you really want to die?”

“Hey, this woman, but the doctor is here, why are you saying such harsh things about dying?”

“No. Patient. You’ll really end up dying if you keep doing that.”

Tae-kyung said sternly to Lee Gwi-nam, who still didn’t understand the situation.

It was a completely different demeanor from his usual polite behavior towards patients. Tae-kyung was also angry at the patient’s shameless attitude, who didn’t know the seriousness.

“… Yes?”

“I’m saying you’ll die if you keep smoking like that. What did you say when I asked you several times earlier? You said you didn’t have any cigarettes, right?”

“Yes, well… I did.”

“Then why did you lie?”

“Well, because I wanted to smoke so badly. I was really going to smoke just one last puff and quit. Really.”

“Is that what you’re saying now?”

“Ha!”

Tae-kyung and his wife were both dumbfounded.

“In my opinion, you don’t seem to have any intention of quitting smoking at all. Do you really have any intention of quitting?”

“…”

Lee Gwi-nam closed his mouth tightly at Tae-kyung’s words that hit the nail on the head.

“And you said that stomach cancer wasn’t caused by cigarettes, but it is. People think that cigarettes are mostly lung cancer, but they are also a cause of stomach cancer.”

That was true. In fact, the International Agency for Research on Cancer even emphasized that smoking is scientifically a cause of stomach cancer.

“Patient, if you’re grilling meat and it gets burned, do you eat it as is? Or not?”

“Of course I don’t eat it. It’s bad for the body when it’s burned. What do they call it? They say it releases carcinogens.”

“That’s right. But cigarettes negatively affect all organs and even contain first-class carcinogens. So, you’ve been paying money to put something bad into your body.”

“I feel scared because you’re saying that so seriously, Doctor.”

“I said it to scare you a little, but of course you should be scared.”

“…!”

Lee Gwi-nam, who was properly scolded in front of passing patients, nurses, and his wife, looked at the air as if he was embarrassed.

“Lee Gwi-nam, patient? Look at me.”

“Yes.”

“It’s really lucky that you found the cancer in the early stages, as your guardian said. But if you keep smoking like this, then cancer may develop in another place, or it may recur in your stomach.”

“That’s what I’m saying. Listen to what the doctor says.”

The wife, feeling frustrated, agreed with Tae-kyung’s words.

“Just as a doctor tries to cure a patient’s illness, the patient also needs to make an effort for their own health. You must quit smoking.”

“Yes. I know, but it’s not as easy as I thought…”

“What’s not easy? You’ve never even tried to quit smoking in your life.”

“I tried once before we got married.”

“That’s something to be proud of! That’s something to be proud of!” [sarcastic expression]

“You two calm down. Our patient, quit smoking with the determination to die from now on. If your hands shake, start exercising, and if your mouth is bored, eat sugar-free candy, and if it’s hard to do it alone, go to a smoking cessation school.”

Tae-kyung emphasized several times and instilled a sense of awareness because Lee Gwi-nam had to quit smoking.

“Just because there are no outwardly visible illnesses doesn’t mean that your organs aren’t screaming for help every time you smoke. Do you understand now?”

“Yes.”

No. He answered, but Lee Gwi-nam’s expression was not convincing. He just hoped that Tae-kyung’s long nagging would end quickly.

In fact, it is not easy to persuade not only Lee Gwi-nam but also heavy smokers. Even if you talk to them every time you make eye contact, not many people succeed in quitting smoking.

“Patient, would you like to see this?”

Tae-kyung quickly found something on his cell phone and turned the screen to Lee Gwi-nam.

“What is this? It looks like they butchered meat… One side looks like it’s burned.”

“These are the stomach and lungs in our body.”

Nothing leaves a deeper impression on people than sight. Tae-kyung decided to show him explicit organ photos.

“Lungs?”

“Yes. To be exact, the first photo is of a healthy stomach and a stomach with stomach cancer, and the second photo is of healthy lungs and one side is of a smoker’s lungs.”

“Wait a minute. This isn’t a person with lung cancer, but a smoker’s lungs?”

Lee Gwi-nam seemed more shocked by the smoker’s lungs than the stomach photo.

That’s because, unlike the healthy lungs, which are bright red, it was obvious at a glance that the smoker’s lungs were not normal.

A significant portion of the lungs had turned black, and the appearance looked like it had been burned, and for some reason, it felt like pain.

“Doctor. This man is just acting like this. He’s seen so many photos like that on cigarette packs, but he’s acting like it’s new.”

“Hey, the cigarettes I buy don’t have those kinds of pictures.”

Lee Gwi-nam’s wife checked the cigarette she was holding after hearing his words. As he said, there were only people’s faces and phrases, not organ photos.

“Um, Doctor, could my lungs be like that?”

“There’s a good chance. That photo alone is of lungs that came from an actual autopsy of a smoker.”

Following that, Tae-kyung showed an even more serious short video. It was a video that explicitly experimented on how bad cigarettes are for organs.

“It’s quite gruesome.”

Perhaps because of the explicit photos and videos, Lee Gwi-nam’s attitude was different from before.

“But even if I show you such gruesome data, there are people who still smoke even after cancer surgery like our patient. In the end, quitting smoking is up to the patient’s will.”

“I understand what you’re saying.”

“Don’t try to gloss over it and say it clearly.”

“That’s not it. I feel a lot after seeing that photo. I’m really going to quit. I promise you here and now.”

“Patient, are you really going to quit?”

“Yes, I will definitely quit.”

Lee Gwi-nam clenched his fist and showed a strong will.

“From now on, if I smoke, I’m not a human being, I’m a son of a bitch [stronger emphasis on his commitment].”

“Good. First of all, you must quit smoking unconditionally until you are discharged from the hospital. You had stomach cancer surgery, so you must quit. Got it?”

“Yes, Doctor. I will unconditionally quit smoking. I’ll do it for my stomach and lungs.”

“From today, if you get caught smoking, give your guardian 50,000 won [Korean currency, approximately $40 USD] each time.”

“Yes? Okay. I’ll do that. I’ll do it.”

“Are you serious? Your quitting smoking is more important to me than money. Will you do it?”

The wife liked the sound of quitting smoking much more than money.

“Of course. I’ve made up my mind. Trust me.”

Tae-kyung, who was trying to get Lee Gwi-nam to quit smoking for his health, thought it was fortunate to see his strong will.

“My wife and the doctor are saying this much, and above all, they’re telling me to quit smoking for my body, so I have to listen if I’m a person.”

“Patient, you’ve thought well.”

“To change the mind of a heavy smoker like me, Doctor…”

Thud-

Just when Tae-kyung and his wife thought that Lee Gwi-nam’s will was not just empty words, something fell to the floor in the hallway.

“…!”