Fifth Vital [EN]: Chapter 172

Five Vital Signs – Episode 172 (172/502)

172. A Gift Without Expectation

Lee Dong-hoon, who had been silently observing Go Gye-deuk’s unpleasant face with a troubled mind, casually tossed out a remark.

“Hey! Mr. Go Gye-deuk?”

“……!”

Go Gye-deuk’s snake-like eyes widened, trembling at the unexpected address, as if he couldn’t believe his ears.

Having come down to provoke Lee Dong-hoon upon hearing the news of his arrival, Go Gye-deuk seemed quite taken aback.

“Mr. Go Gye-deuk? Dr. Lee, your joke is a bit much.”

“A joke? It’s no joke. I’m no longer affiliated with Shinhwa University Hospital. So, there’s no need to use the title of Director.”

Lee Dong-hoon felt nothing but irritation rising as he looked at Go Gye-deuk, especially with his mind already in turmoil. Since this might be the last time they see each other, Lee Dong-hoon decided to say everything he wanted to.

“Yes… It seems our Dr. Lee has many grievances against me.”

Go Gye-deuk tried to maintain his composure, mindful of the occasional glances from passing patients and staff.

“Grievances? To openly force me to quit and then call it merely a grievance is quite unconscionable, don’t you think? Mr. Go Gye-deuk?”

“Haha! Anyone listening might misunderstand and think it’s true.”

Go Gye-deuk forced an awkward laugh, trying to change the subject.

“Well, since you’re leaving, I suppose anything I say will upset you.”

“I’m grateful that you’ve made it possible for me to leave this hospital without any regrets.”

“Ah, I heard that our Dr. Lee had surgery.”

Like a rat, well-informed about the hospital’s happenings, Go Gye-deuk was already aware of Lee Dong-hoon’s surgery.

“Was the surgery successful?”

“Thanks to you, it went very well.”

“I don’t know what the diagnosis was, but you should have had it done at our hospital.”

“Oh my, you’re saying something terrible! Are you trying to harm me?”

Lee Dong-hoon raised his voice, continuing,

“Does Shinhwa University Hospital even have a proper surgeon? Well… I only saw parachuted ones [referring to surgeons hired from outside, often implying they lack proper experience or qualifications].”

“…….”

No longer needing to be cautious, Lee Dong-hoon subtly scratched at Go Gye-deuk with his unrestrained words.

“Your words are a bit excessive. And it sounds like you have many complaints about me. If I did anything wrong, please be understanding. Ah! But you don’t have cancer, do you?”

Whether Go Gye-deuk knew or was just guessing, Lee Dong-hoon’s mood soured considerably upon hearing those words.

“Please take good care of your health.”

“I’ll take care of my own health, so don’t worry about it.”

“Of course, you’ll take good care of it. I hope only good things come your way, Dr. Lee.”

“I don’t need your support. I’ll say one last thing, Go Gye-deuk, you! Don’t live like that. You’ll get hurt badly. Got it?”

Having said everything he wanted to, Lee Dong-hoon took the arrived elevator down to the first floor.

‘That guy, is he out of his mind? Well, he must be angry since he got fired from our hospital. A guy with nowhere to go, serves him right!’

Go Gye-deuk clicked his tongue at Lee Dong-hoon’s words and moved on.

* * *

Walking out of the hospital building towards the main gate, Lee Dong-hoon sat on a bench for a moment.

The bench was surrounded by all sorts of trees and unknown plants, well-arranged along the path.

This was the garden Lee Dong-hoon frequented whenever he felt exhausted from working at the hospital.

The garden, obviously expensively maintained, was so excellent that it could be called a small botanical garden, except that it was inside the hospital.

Lee Dong-hoon visited the garden to soothe his troubled mind.

During his hospitalization, his shattered heart and mental state had recovered a lot. Above all, Tae-kyung’s help was significant.

‘What are you doing, Senior?’

‘Would you like to read this book? It’s a book written by a doctor for patients, and it’s said to be helpful for patients to read.’

‘The weather is nice, would you like to take a walk in the yard?’

‘You must eat well even if you have no appetite. Food is medicine.’

Even though he was busy, he came to the hospital room whenever he had time, day and night. He visited so often that it was no exaggeration to say the doorknob of the hospital room wore out.

He listened to his frustrated feelings and gave him the strength to keep going when his heart sank into the abyss and everything felt irritating. He took care of him to an almost unbelievable extent.

Being a patient himself, Lee Dong-hoon understood why patients at Shinhwa University Hospital had sought out Tae-kyung so much.

The things that fellow doctors gossiped about behind his back, calling him nosy and pretentious, were a great source of strength for patients, beyond words.

Lee Dong-hoon felt the same way.

Thanks to him, the uncontrollable whirlwind of emotions seemed to have settled down. However, a corner of his heart was still filled with emptiness, and the title of cancer patient weighed heavily on his mind.

‘What if the side effects are severe?’

‘What if chemotherapy doesn’t suit me?’

He worried about things that hadn’t even happened yet. Above all, he had to fight the fear of metastasis [the spread of cancer to other parts of the body] until he heard the word ‘cure’.

Among the worries and fears that kept multiplying, the word that constantly hammered at Lee Dong-hoon’s heart was ‘death’.

The thought of suddenly dying from a rapidly worsening illness seemed to be eating away at his daily life.

“Hoo!”

Lee Dong-hoon heaved a deep sigh, his chest rising and falling.

‘No. I’m okay. I’m okay. Let’s not be depressed again. Let’s think only good thoughts…’

He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to control his mind when suddenly,

“Mister? You’re the surgery room mister, right?”

An unexpected child’s voice broke through his complicated thoughts.

“Who are you?”

Turning his head, he saw a boy sitting on the bench right next to him, where there had been no one a moment ago.

“You’re handsome. How old are you?”

“That’s a secret. And I was told not to give out personal information carelessly these days.”

The boy, who looked like an elementary school student, seemed mature and solid for his age.

“Why are you staring like that?”

“Because you’re handsome. But I’m not a mister.”

“I know. You’re the anesthesia doctor who puts me to sleep during surgery. Don’t you remember me?”

“Uh. I don’t know…”

Asked in a tone that implied he should know him, Lee Dong-hoon frantically tried to recall, but he couldn’t remember.

“I think I’ve seen you in the surgery room… Are you here for a checkup?”

“No. I live here.”

With his answer, the boy pointed to the children’s hospital building in front of him. The garden where Lee Dong-hoon was sitting was for the children’s hospital, so he often saw children taking walks.

“There? Are you hospitalized in the hospital?”

“Yes.”

“…….”

Lee Dong-hoon tilted his head at the boy’s matter-of-fact answer. The boy was wearing ordinary clothes, not a hospital gown.

“Ah! This?”

Noticing Lee Dong-hoon’s curiosity, the boy lifted his clothes, continuing,

“I have a hospital gown underneath. Sometimes I wear my own clothes on top to change my mood.”

“I see.”

“Do you know what, mister? You gave me anesthesia when I had surgery too.”

“Sorry. I don’t remember well because there are so many patients. When was that?”

“Um. When? I don’t know about the first surgery because it was a long time ago. The last one was about four months ago, I think?”

A long time ago and four months ago? Lee Dong-hoon didn’t understand what he meant at first.

“Even if the last one was four months ago, that’s too long… What illness do you have that you’re still here?”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

The boy smiled and replied with a nonchalant expression, as if he were talking about someone else’s story.

“The place where I had surgery then is all healed.”

“Then why are you still…”

“Well, the story is a bit complicated.”

“Hey! You’re still a kid, how complicated can your story be? Tell me.”

Lee Dong-hoon scoffed at the boy’s answer.

“I’m not a kid. And I know everything.”

“Okay, okay. Sorry. What’s so complicated?”

“Actually, it’s not that complicated.”

“Huh?”

“I have a rare disease. What was it called? They said it’s a disease that only a few people get out of many… It’s hard, so I don’t even know the name well. So, the hospital is my home, playground, and school. I think I’ll be here forever.”

“……!”

Lee Dong-hoon, subdued by the boy’s astonishing news, didn’t know how to react.

“Mister!”

“Oh, yeah. What’s your name, friend?”

“I don’t usually tell my name. I’ll tell you specially. It’s Han-bit. Kim Han-bit.”

“That’s a good name. Han-bit. I’m sorry I asked.”

“It’s okay. I’m fine.”

“You’re fine? There’s no way you’re fine.”

“I’m really fine. No, actually, I’m fine and not fine.”

“I’m fine with dying, but I’m sad that I can’t see my parents right now.”

“Why? Where did your parents go?”

As Lee Dong-hoon asked cautiously, the boy reached his hand towards the sky.

“They’re up there.”

“Oh dear! I asked something I shouldn’t have again.”

“Not that, there’s an airplane up there in the sky.”

“Huh?”

When Lee Dong-hoon looked up, an airplane was passing over the cloudless sky.

“My dad is a pilot and my mom is a flight attendant. They’re on a flight, so I’m with my grandma right now.”

“Hey, you can’t tease adults like that. You scared me.”

Han-bit laughed gleefully, seeing Lee Dong-hoon genuinely surprised.

“But Han-bit? Are you okay with dying? How can you be?”

“At first, I cried a lot and got angry and sulked at my dad, mom, and grandma. The doctors who were in charge of me always told my parents and me, ‘Prepare yourselves.'”

As soon as Lee Dong-hoon heard that, he thought about who the doctor in charge was and cursed inwardly.

‘Damn it, there are things you shouldn’t say to a kid.’

“But there was a middle schooler in the same hospital room who only read books every day, and that hyung [older brother or male friend] told me.”

“What did he say?”

“He was a smart hyung, and he said to think of life as a gift.”

“A gift?”

“That’s right. Actually, we didn’t pay any price for being given life, nor did we make any effort for it. So, life itself is a gift we received for free.”

“Well, you can see it that way.”

“We don’t know who gave it to us, but he said that it’s better to be grateful for what we’ve been given than to think about how much more or less we’ll get.”

“Still, wouldn’t you be upset and angry if you thought you were going to get more of a gift but couldn’t?”

Lee Dong-hoon was already deeply engrossed in Han-bit’s words, answering seriously.

“That’s right. You can be upset. But I don’t think it’s something to be angry or despair about. Shouldn’t we be grateful for the gifts we’ve already received?”

“……!”

Lee Dong-hoon was speechless at Han-bit’s words, unable to say anything.

He felt as if he had been hit on the head with a blunt instrument by the words of a child.

“That hyung told me that every day. But after listening and seeing it, it seemed right, and strangely, I wasn’t sad anymore.”

“The hyung who told you that is very mature. Is he doing well? Isn’t he coming out with you?”

“Hyung went over there last year.”

Unlike before, Han-bit pointed to the funeral home with a serious expression.

“……!”

After a moment of silence, Han-bit’s face suddenly filled Lee Dong-hoon’s vision as he stared blankly at the funeral home.

“Mister!”

Han-bit, who had been sitting next to him, came closer to Lee Dong-hoon.

“Huh?”