Fifth Vital [EN]: Chapter 232

232. Why Did You Pretend to Be Okay?

As the nurse continued her kind explanation, Kim Seong-hoon suddenly remembered the whereabouts of his ‘will’.

“Excuse me, nurse?”

“Yes. Are you feeling uncomfortable anywhere?”

“No, it’s not that. I just wanted to ask something.”

“Yes, what is it?”

“As I recall, I changed into a patient gown in the emergency room before going to the intensive care unit. I was wondering where my clothes are.”

Kim Seong-hoon thought the will he had put in his clothes would be with his belongings.

Although Captain Choi Tae-shik had rushed him to open the door, he clearly remembered stuffing it well inside his military uniform pocket.

Therefore, he had no idea that the will had fallen on the emergency room floor and ended up in Tae-kyung’s hands.

“Ah, we kept them safe and handed them over to your mother.”

“My mother?”

“Yes, your family all came on the evening of your surgery and stayed at the hospital. And from the next day, your mother kept coming during visiting hours and was very worried about you.”

“Ah, I see.”

“If you feel uncomfortable anywhere, please tell us anytime.”

“Yes…”

Kim Seong-hoon felt anxious at the nurse’s words that she had given it to his mother, wondering if his family had seen the will.

It was a will that would be revealed to his family and even his unit members anyway if he died. But the situation was different now.

He wanted to die, but he didn’t.

Therefore, he didn’t want anyone else to see the contents of the will yet.

Not yet…

Kim Seong-hoon didn’t feel grateful for surviving the crisis and having a successful surgery.

Unfortunately, he was still only thinking about how he could die, how he could escape from this hellish reality.

Reality is not a drama.

Even if he returned to the military in this state, all that awaited him was a painful reality. So, he had no more attachment to life.

“Hello, patient.”

Perhaps it was the environment that made him that way, but Tae-kyung approached Kim Seong-hoon, who was consumed with all sorts of negative thoughts.

“Do you remember who I am?”

“Yes, you’re the doctor who performed my surgery.”

“That’s right. The surgery went well. How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know.”

“You must be disoriented since you just woke up. Get some rest.”

“Yes…”

“Ah! Patient Kim Seong-hoon?”

Tae-kyung, who was turning away, came back to the bed.

“Yes?”

“Thank you for enduring and overcoming it, even though it must have been difficult.”

“…”

Kim Seong-hoon didn’t respond to the words that lacked a subject, wondering what he had endured and overcome.

“The surgery. It wasn’t easy because it was such an emergency, but the medical staff was able to work hard because you endured it well.”

“Ah, yes.”

“Then, I’ll see you again.”

Kim Seong-hoon felt nothing as he watched Tae-kyung, who greeted him kindly, leave.

The next day,

Kim Seong-hoon faced his mother, who came to visit.

“Seong-hoon?”

“Mom…”

“My baby. You’ve suffered so much, haven’t you? How hard and painful it must have been.”

Lee Ae-sook’s expression, facing her son who had regained consciousness, was a mixture of relief, gratitude, and sorrow.

“No, Mom, I’m okay.”

But Kim Seong-hoon’s expression was different from Lee Ae-sook’s. He didn’t seem happy to see his mother’s face, which he had missed so much.

He was smiling, but his eyes weren’t. Only his mouth was forcing a fake smile.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see his mother. He felt uncomfortable seeing his mom while having bad thoughts.

He had thought about pretending to sleep to coincide with visiting hours, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that.

“Thank you for being alive, my son.”

Kim Seong-hoon, who still wanted to die, only smiled slightly at his mother, who said she was grateful that he was alive, instead of answering.

“Um, Seong-hoon?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s something Mom wants to ask you…”

Lee Ae-sook, who had calmed down, looked at her son and carefully continued.

“Did anyone bully you or anything like that in the military?”

And Kim Seong-hoon’s answer, who had already expected his mother to ask that question, was neat and concise.

“There’s nothing like that.”

“Really?”

“Of course, really. If there was, I would have told you already.”

Kim Seong-hoon, seeing Lee Ae-sook’s worried eyes, brushed off the situation as if he were acting in a play.

And the next visiting time, Captain Choi Tae-shik visited the intensive care unit after consulting with the family.

Although the once-a-day visiting time was important, the family gave up the visit, just in case.

Choi Tae-shik had not yet informed the family of the military hazing, nor had he confirmed the facts with the two soldiers in question.

Kim Seong-hoon’s statement came first.

He was planning to inform the family after the visit today and then investigate Go Cheol-soo and Park Byung-deok.

“Private Kim Seong-hoon, it’s been a while.”

“Ah! Captain.”

“Don’t get up. Lie down.”

Choi Tae-shik waved his hand, stopping Kim Seong-hoon from trying to raise his upper body.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? I’m sorry for not taking care of you sooner when you’re sick.”

“It’s nothing.”

“How’s your body?”

“The medical staff is taking good care of me, so I’m okay now.”

After asking about his well-being, Choi Tae-shik immediately stated the purpose of his visit today.

“Actually, I came today because there’s something I want to ask. It’s a normal procedure to ask these questions when something like this happens in the unit, so please answer without feeling pressured. In the living quarters…”

“Captain?”

Before the question could even begin, Kim Seong-hoon cut him off. Moreover, he reenacted the question that Choi Tae-shik was about to ask, word for word.

“I’m sorry for interrupting, but are you perhaps asking about bullying or hazing?”

“…!”

“If that’s the case, you don’t have to worry. There was no such thing.”

“Private Kim Seong-hoon? Are you sure?”

“Yes, that’s right. I’m such a quiet and introverted person that my mother asked me the same question yesterday. I heard that you were coming to visit, Captain, and I thought she might ask that question, and my guess was right.”

The reason Kim Seong-hoon was trying to hide the truth from his family and Captain Choi Tae-shik was simple.

He didn’t want his family to worry because of him, and he couldn’t trust anyone related to the military anymore.

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine.”

Choi Tae-shik was dumbfounded and bewildered by Kim Seong-hoon’s words.

‘What is he saying?’

Then what on earth is that will?

In a situation where things didn’t add up at all, he was about to ask about the will.

“Then you that w…”

But he closed his mouth before the ‘w’ could even come out.

It was because he suddenly remembered the conversation he had with Tae-kyung three days ago.

‘If my prediction is correct, Patient Kim Seong-hoon will deny this issue. In that case, could you please pretend not to know for now, Captain?’

‘Pretend not to know? No, with such clear evidence, you’re telling me to pretend not to know a soldier who has been bullied?’

‘I know you’re taken aback. But I’m not saying to keep pretending not to know. I’m just saying to wait for Patient Kim Seong-hoon. I’ll help you.’

As Tae-kyung had predicted, Kim Seong-hoon denied it, so Choi Tae-shik decided not to say anything more.

Honestly, there was also the promise he had made with Tae-kyung, but he decided to give Kim Seong-hoon, who had undergone major surgery in a sudden situation, some time.

“Captain, I’m really okay.”

“…Okay, I understand.”

“Yes, I’ll see you again. Thank you for coming.”

“Take care and see you again.”

A few hours later, Tae-kyung, who had heard the story from Choi Tae-shik, visited Kim Seong-hoon during a lull in his rounds.

In the meantime, Kim Seong-hoon had been moved from the intensive care unit to a private room.

Originally, he was going to move the room tomorrow morning, but his recovery was good, so he was able to change rooms early.

The family thought he was moving rooms tomorrow, so Kim Seong-hoon was alone in the room.

Tae-kyung knew he was alone and came on purpose.

Clang-

“I saw you during rounds earlier, and I’m seeing you again.”

“Yes.”

“You moved rooms. Shouldn’t you tell your parents?”

“They’re coming tomorrow morning, so it’s okay.”

“I see. Let me know if you’re uncomfortable anywhere. But, patient?”

“Yes?”

“Are you feeling okay?”

“…”

No answer came back to the question of whether he was okay.

In fact, Kim Seong-hoon’s mind and mental state were on the verge of going crazy.

Because everyone who saw him after he regained consciousness kept asking him if he was okay, he was sick and tired of the word itself.

And since he regained consciousness, Tae-kyung had been coming to the intensive care unit whenever he had a chance and kept asking that question.

He couldn’t understand why he kept asking someone who said he was okay.

Honestly, he wasn’t okay.

There was no way he could be okay. So, he just wanted him to stop saying that. He was so sick of it.

“Patient Kim Seong-hoon, are you o…”

“No. I’m not okay. I’m really not okay, so please stop saying that. I’m begging you.”

“Why?”

“Yes!?”

“Why aren’t you okay?”

“Haa!”

A deep sigh, as if the ground was sinking, came down from the bed to the floor.

“Why are you doing this to me, doctor?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re asking that question on purpose, aren’t you? What do you want to hear from me? Ah! You want to hear me say thank you for saving me by doing a good job with the surgery?”

Kim Seong-hoon’s expression and tone were getting more and more irritated.

“Thank you. Are you happy now?”

“Seong-hoon? No. I’ll speak comfortably since you’re like a younger brother. Seong-hoon, I’ll ask you one more time. Are you okay?”

“Ha! Damn it, I’m not okay, so please stop it. Are you happy now? I’m not okay! I’m not okay!!”

A curse and a loud voice burst out of Kim Seong-hoon’s mouth.

Always a gentle kid. A kid who doesn’t talk much and is quiet. An introverted kid. A kid who is mindful of others. That was the modifier that described Kim Seong-hoon.

Was that why? He had never shown his emotions outwardly in his life. But for the first time, such a person honestly burst out with his emotions.

Clang-

“Excuse me, doctor? Are you okay?”

Nurse Im Jeong-sook, who had rushed up after receiving a call from the ward station, knocked and entered with a surprised face.

“Of course. I’m okay. It’s nothing.”

“Yes.”

Nurse Im Jeong-sook nodded, seeing Tae-kyung’s expression telling her to rest assured, and closed the hospital room door.

Tae-kyung, after confirming that the door was securely closed, approached the chair near the bed and sat down.

And he looked at Kim Seong-hoon, who was turning his head with his emotions heightened.

He had been cursed at by a much younger friend, but his expression was not at all unpleasant.

It might sound strange, but he was looking at him as if he was proud.

Tae-kyung knew that the curse Kim Seong-hoon had uttered was not directed at someone else, but at himself. So, he didn’t feel bad at all.

He thought it was a relief.

Tae-kyung had been deliberately knocking and knocking on his heart until now so that the young man could be honest with his emotions.

The disease that had occurred in Kim Seong-hoon’s body was that the inflammation was so severe that pus had formed, and it could be treated with surgery. But not the heart.

The disease that had occurred in his heart was in a state where the inflammation had not burst.

It was festering and festering, growing in his heart while knotted.

Tae-kyung wanted to burst the pus in his heart so that it wouldn’t devour Kim Seong-hoon.

Otherwise, he couldn’t just stand by and watch because it seemed like that child would really die.

He wanted to grab Seong-hoon, who had built a wall and given up on his own.

He thought he couldn’t just start things recklessly because he found the will.

He thought that if he proceeded with things that way, Kim Seong-hoon would not change in the end.

It would be difficult, but Tae-kyung wanted to help him because he could only change if he made up his mind, took courage, and changed himself.

“See? You’re not okay.”

Tae-kyung pulled the chair closer to the bed and asked.

“Seong-hoon? But why did you pretend to be okay?”