Fifth Vital [EN]: Chapter 294

294. What a Load of Bull

“Can’t medicine fix it? Is it serious? Really?”

“It’s nothing like that. I was just messing with you because you always call me a quack. There’s pus inside. I can feel it squishing when I touch it.”

“Oh, man. You scared me for a second there.”

“Did you really fall for it?”

“Who fell for it? It was all over your face. I’m usually pretty quick on the uptake. But seriously, can’t medicine fix it?”

“Of course, antibiotics and NSAIDs [Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs] will help, but in the end, you have to squeeze this out.”

“What!?”

Kim Ilsang, who had been lying down with his pants down, jumped up in response to the casual mention of squeezing it out.

“That hurts, doesn’t it? I hate pain. I’m even scared of needles.”

“Hey! You crazy bastard, pull up your pants. A grown man scared of needles, what a joke.”

“Chanhee, you’re not trying to trick me again, are you?”

“No, doing it with anesthesia isn’t a big deal. It’ll be bearable.”

“Really? Are you sure? Then do it.”

“What is with you? You’re so confident, I’m speechless.”

“Just do it! What are friends for? Let’s take advantage of having a doctor friend at times like this. I’m busy tomorrow. It has to be today.”

“What are you doing tomorrow? Something important?”

“Important? It might be the most important thing this year. I could say I’m meeting my new lover?”

“Ilsang, are you going on a blind date?”

“No, I’m going to a club tomorrow.”

Slap-

“Ugh! Some busy schedule.”

Lee Chanhee slapped Kim Ilsang on the back again in response to his absurd answer. Still, he thought this was better than seeing his friend struggling alone, unable to forget his ex.

“You know you hit hard, right?”

“I barely touched you.”

“I know it looks pathetic, but I feel like I’m going crazy if I don’t do something.”

“Yeah, forgetting someone with someone else is the right answer.”

“Hey, Chanhee, where are you going?”

Kim Ilsang called out to Lee Chanhee, who suddenly got up and opened the door to leave.

“I’m going to get the medicine and tools. Should I just ditch it now?”

“No, are you crazy? Make sure to bring the anesthetic too.”

“Okay.”

“Hey, Chanhee? But come back quickly.”

“Why?”

“I’m sleepy. I want to get it over with and sleep here. Your on-call room’s sofa is surprisingly comfortable.”

“You’re really crazy.”

“Thanks for the compliment.”

“I’ll be back. Wait for me.”

Lee Chanhee left the on-call room and returned with sterile tools needed for drainage and lidocaine [a common local anesthetic], carrying them in both hands.

Click-

“You’re back quickly.”

“Alright, patient. Lie down quickly.”

“This is making me nervous. Hey, Chanhee… No, Dr. Lee Chanhee?”

“What is it?”

“Make it painless. You quack doctor.”

Kim Ilsang, with a very nervous face, pulled down his pants again and lay down on the sofa.

“Unfortunately, I’m a quack, so it’s going to hurt like hell from now on.”

“Hey, hey! Wait a minute.”

Lee Chanhee was about to start the procedure when Kim Ilsang suddenly lifted his head back in surprise.

“Why? What is it now? You told me to hurry up.”

“N-no, it’s not that. Chanhee. Y-you’re not going to stab me with that, are you?”

“Yeah. That’s what I’m going to use to stab you.”

“Ehh… This is not right.”

Kim Ilsang, as pale as someone watching a horror movie, pointed to the anesthetic injection.

“This is cheating. How can the needle be so thick? Usually, anesthesia is done with a thin needle. Are you planning to fillet my butt?”

“Enough. I don’t want to go back again. Just get it over with this.”

Kim Ilsang was right.

Lee Chanhee, who had been in a hurry to gather supplies, had brought a slightly larger syringe than the one usually used for anesthesia.

Of course, it was true that it would hurt more with this injection, but he had no intention of going back again.

“Hey! What are you talking about? I’m a patient. How can a doctor treat a patient like this?”

“Geez. You talk too much. Shut up and lie down properly. I’m going to anesthetize you.”

Lee Chanhee, holding down Kim Ilsang’s head, who was frightened by the anesthesia, began the anesthesia.

“Ah! Ah! It hurts! It hurts!”

And soon, a sound surpassing that of a woman giving birth filled the on-call room.

“I was wrong. I was wrong! Hey! Take it out. Hey! I’m dying!”

“Who’s dying? You’re not allowed to say you’re dying in front of a doctor, especially a surgeon who saves lives. Anesthesia always hurts like hell when there’s pus. Just bear with it, you sissy.”

“Ah! Wait a minute. You crazy bastard! No, hyung-nim [older brother or respected male figure]. Doctor, please wait a moment. It really hurts. You said it wouldn’t hurt a while ago…”

“I said it wouldn’t hurt when I anesthetize you, not that the anesthesia wouldn’t hurt.”

“Still, it hurts too much.”

It wasn’t a lie; Kim Ilsang was in so much pain that tears welled up in his eyes.

“Are you done with the anesthesia?”

“I’m done.”

“It really hurts. Wow! Chanhee, you’re a real devil. I think I saw my ancestors. I saw my grandfather in the River Jordan for a moment.”

“Yes, yes. I understand. Stop exaggerating and close your mouth so I can concentrate.”

“I can’t close my mouth because it hurts. It was the most painful thing in my entire life.”

“Jeez, the exaggeration…”

Lee Chanhee injected lidocaine evenly around the squishing pus. He sufficiently anesthetized the area around the pus pocket and inevitably stabbed it several times.

After that, he massaged the area near the pus pocket with gauze so that the medicine would spread evenly.

“You’ve gotten quiet, so I guess it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“Yeah. It’s okay now.”

“Then I’ll cut it now.”

“If it hurts, I won’t let you get away with it.”

“Patient, I have a scalpel in my hand right now. Close your mouth.”

After putting on sterile gloves, Lee Chanhee disinfected the area thoroughly. Then, he made an incision about 2cm long on top of the pus pocket with a scalpel.

“Hey, Chanhee?”

“Why? You talk too much.”

“It’s not that. What is this? Is it bleeding now?”

“Of course, it bleeds when you cut the skin. Even elementary school students know that.”

“No, but why is there so much? No joke, my butt is getting wet.”

It was no joke. Kim Ilsang could feel the blood flowing down his butt.

“It’s okay. It’ll stop if I press it. Don’t worry, patient. I’m doing a good job.”

“Chanhee, you’re not really a quack, are you?”

“Yes. I am a quack.”

“I was wrong, so please do it right. I’m begging you.”

“Just shut your mouth.”

“Don’t do that, can’t you ask your director to take a look for a moment?”

“Why would the director look at you? Shut up because you’re being noisy.”
Pus mixed with blood came out of Kim Ilsang’s affected area.

In the case of general ward patients, a test should be done to culture the bacteria in the pus before draining it all, but this time it was not done.

The reason was because it was a hassle. Since he was a close friend rather than a patient, he decided to just skip it.

“It doesn’t hurt, does it?”

Lee Chanhee asked, pressing down on the area to make sure the pus came out well.

“Yeah! It really doesn’t hurt.”

“I told you.”

After squeezing out the pus, Lee Chanhee put saline solution into a syringe and sprayed it inside the pus pocket.

Then, he put gauze around it to absorb the pus debris and saline solution that came out.

After that, he grabbed the dead tissues attached to the wall with a mosquito [a type of hemostat] and tore them off, then put gauze soaked in povidone inside.

“Okay! All done.”

“Sutures? Aren’t you going to suture it?”

“Yeah. I can’t do it now. The stuff inside has to come out, and you have to take the antibiotics and NSAIDs I gave you and disinfect it well.”

“No, how am I supposed to go to the club tomorrow like this?”

“What club are you going to when you’re unemployed? Prepare for a job.”

“Still, you should suture it if you made an incision, is this okay?”

“No, it has to be like this. Ilsang-ah [term of endearment]. I’m a doctor. Trust me.”

“Really?”

“That’s right?”

“Why? Why is that?”

“Ha! Forget it. It’s annoying to explain. Just stay like that and come to me every other day. I’ll disinfect it for you.”

“Wow! You’re so kind. Do you treat your patients like this too?”

“No, I treat my patients well. It’s because it’s you. Shut up and come eat the yukhoe [Korean seasoned raw beef].”

“But seeing you doing this with me during work hours, I guess this hospital isn’t that strict. Won’t you get scolded by the director?”

“What are you talking about? I went back every time a call came. And our director isn’t like that. He respects the employees personally, what a great person.”

“Because you keep saying that, I want to meet him once.”

“Why would you see him? Anyway, it’s better not to see a doctor.”

“I guess so. Okay. Then, as a last resort, introduce me to a woman.”

“…….”

Lee Chanhee looked at his friend with a pathetic expression when he suddenly brought up the story of a woman while they were having a good conversation.

“You’re going to meet a woman tomorrow, right?”

“I don’t know if it will work out tomorrow. You have women around you.”

“You crazy bastard, what woman do I have when I only work except on my days off.”

“That person from earlier? What was her name, Choi…? That’s right! Teacher Choi Mona. Introduce me to that woman.”

Lee Chanhee’s expression was hardening in real time as Kim Ilsang mentioned Choi Mona once again.

“This bastard is really crazy. Are you out of your mind? If I introduce a coworker wrong, I’ll get cursed and it’ll be uncomfortable to work with. No way.”

“That’s true, but… it’ll be fine if it works out.”

“Enough! Anyway, Teacher Choi is a no-go.”

“What is it? Now that I think about it, you got angry at that woman’s story earlier, why is that? Are you dating someone named Teacher Choi?”

“It’s nothing like that.”

“Oh oh! Look at you overreacting again. Are you really not together?”

“I told you, we’re not.”

“Then introduce me.”

“No! Absolutely not!”

Lee Chanhee’s voice was gradually getting louder as his friend persistently mentioned a blind date, thinking that he would understand if he refused appropriately.

“What’s the exact reason why it’s not working?”

“…like.”

“What? I can’t hear you.”

“I like her! I like her! I said I like her.”

Lee Chanhee, who finally exploded because his friend couldn’t understand, unknowingly revealed his true feelings.

“I like Teacher Choi!! I like Choi Mona! So it’s not possible. Absolutely not. Got it? Got it?”

“Really? I thought so. I thought so from earlier. Hehehe!”

Kim Ilsang burst into laughter and rejoiced when he heard Lee Chanhee say that he liked Choi Mona, as he had expected.

“Don’t laugh.”

“You were really like an elementary school student just now. You’re cute. A grown man is embarrassed about unrequited love? Confess quickly.”

“Enough! What confession when we work at the same hospital? It’ll only make things awkward.”

“You’re talking a load of bull. Unrequited love is either confessed and rejected or you end up dating. If you keep staying still like that, you’ll end up getting involved with someone else. And if you don’t confess, your heart will only grow bigger and you’ll get sick. You know that too, right? There’s no medicine for lovesickness.”

“It’s not lovesickness! I’ll take care of it myself. You take care of yourself. You!”

“I’m advising you to do well because I couldn’t. Suddenly, I feel like I need to pee, Chanhee, can I go to the bathroom?”

“Yeah. Go.”

“Don’t eat it all, wait for me. I’ll give you more love counseling when I come back.”

“I don’t need it.”

Click-

“Woah, Director?”

Kim Ilsang, who got up from his seat, opened the on-call room door and called out to Taekyung, who happened to be passing by in front of it.

“Oh, hello.”

Kim Ilsang bowed his head and greeted him at the word director.

“I heard that Dr. Lee’s friend came, so this must be him?”

“Yes, that’s right. He’s my friend.”