Fifth Vital [EN]: Chapter 339

“It must have been tough for you.”

“Yes, Doctor. It was tough. But there was something tougher than those who made it hard for me.”

“Something tougher?”

“Yes. Acknowledging and accepting Seung-woo. That was the hardest part. I left my grandmother’s house as soon as I recovered.”

Her paternal grandmother was also overwhelmed by her young granddaughter’s sudden pregnancy and childbirth.

‘I’m sorry, Grandma.’

Kim Sun-min felt heavy-hearted, as she seemed to have caused great disappointment to her grandmother, who had always been proud of her.

‘That’s enough. It’s already happened, and dwelling on it will only hurt you. It’s not just your fault, it’s mine too. I shouldn’t have left you alone at such a young age…’

‘……’

‘Sun-min, listen carefully to what I’m about to say. As soon as you recover, go straight to Seoul and take the GED [General Educational Development test, a high school equivalency test].’

‘Th-then, what about Seung-woo?’

‘I’ll register Seung-woo under my name.’

‘Grandma, but…’

‘Don’t say another word. From now on, think of Seung-woo as your younger sibling. From what I’ve heard, the law has been simplified, so it won’t be difficult to sort out the registration later. So, for now, just listen to me.’

‘G-Grandma…’

‘Even though I’m old, I can still raise Seung-woo well. Your grandmother is better than you, who are still young. Don’t waste your smart brain, Sun-min, go up there and focus on your studies. Go to college. Your father wanted you to go to college, and you want to go too. I’ll take care of Seung-woo only while you get settled.’

Her grandmother didn’t want her young granddaughter, who hadn’t even graduated high school, to raise a child.

Knowing how difficult and arduous raising a child could be, her grandmother’s mind was firm.

And the reason she registered Seung-woo as her son was also for Kim Sun-min’s future.

Son and younger brother. The meanings of the two words were clearly different.

She hoped that when Kim Sun-min met someone really good in the future, she wouldn’t give up her future with that person because of Seung-woo.

It was definitely wrong to get pregnant as a student, but she didn’t want her granddaughter, who had a bright future ahead of her, to live a difficult life because of this one mistake.

After agonizing for several days, Kim Sun-min eventually followed her grandmother’s wishes.

She couldn’t bring herself to abort the child, but honestly, she didn’t have the confidence to raise him.

She was still young and needed her parents’ care, so the word ‘maternal love’ was still unfamiliar to her.

“I went into a boarding house with the money from selling the house I lived in with my dad, studied, passed the GED, and immediately prepared for college.”

Kim Sun-min, who wanted to study design, spent busy days attending practical art academies. She devoted herself to studying for the college entrance exam during the day and practical skills at night.

Naturally, she didn’t have time to see Seung-woo.

“I think I studied with gritted teeth. I thought that going to a good university would be a way to repay my grandmother, and it would also help my future and Seung-woo’s future.”

Fortunately, her efforts paid off.

Kim Sun-min, who had prepared for her studies and practical skills while suffering nosebleeds, was accepted into a university in Seoul famous for its design program.

Moreover, she didn’t just get accepted, she was also attending school with a full scholarship.

“I remember my grandmother being really happy when I got into college. She cried a lot.”

“She must have been so proud of her granddaughter for achieving good results in a difficult situation. Kim Sun-min, you’re a truly amazing person.”

“No. Amazing people are people like you, Doctor, not me. Looking back now, I think I was more focused on studying for my own desires than for Seung-woo.”

Kim Sun-min seemed ashamed of herself, took a sip of her tea, and continued.

“And back then, I didn’t think of Seung-woo that way.”

It was literally true.

She was truly happy to be able to enter a good university, make new friends, and study what she wanted to her heart’s content.

For Kim Sun-min, who had been unable to experience high school life due to her father’s unexpected accident and sudden pregnancy, university life was like another world.

‘Grandma? Is everything okay?’

‘Of course, what could be wrong with me?’

‘How’s Seung-woo? Is Seung-woo doing well too?’

‘Of course. He’s doing well.’

‘I’ll come down this weekend.’

‘Oh, no! How much is the fare to come and go? Don’t come. Study during that time. Don’t be satisfied with getting a scholarship, get good grades on your exams. That’s how you get into a good company these days.’

‘Okay. I’ll do well on my exams. But I’ll still come if I have time.’

At first, Kim Sun-min still visited her grandmother’s house in the countryside a few times a month on weekends. But as she became more and more engrossed in school life and part-time jobs, she didn’t have time to see her grandmother and Seung-woo.

Actually, it was an excuse.

She enjoyed spending time with her university friends even when she had time.

The more she focused on school life, the more comfortable she felt being able to focus on the title of ‘college student’ rather than the fact that she was a mother.

But Kim Sun-min didn’t know about the changes that were happening to Seung-woo at that time while she was focusing on school life.

‘Sun-min, can you come down this time?’

‘This time? I’m busy preparing for a contest.’

‘Is that so?’

‘Why? Is something wrong at home?’

‘No. Nothing’s wrong.’

‘How’s Seung-woo?’

‘He’s asleep.’

‘Grandma, is there really nothing wrong?’

‘No.’

Unlike usual, her grandmother’s voice on the phone seemed strangely hesitant, but Kim Sun-min just thought her grandmother was tired.

“Did your grandmother find out about Seung-woo’s autistic tendencies at that time?”

“Yes, actually, my grandmother said she had felt something was a little strange about Seung-woo since he was 7 or 8 months old.”

Her grandmother had often taken care of other grandmothers’ grandchildren or the neighborhood babies. Moreover, she had volunteered at an orphanage until a few years ago, so she knew quite a bit about babies.

So she was somewhat confident in raising Seung-woo. But as Seung-woo grew, something felt off.

Unlike babies who gradually responded to their names, Seung-woo didn’t respond much to his name.

He also showed repetitive body movements, was late to babble, and it was difficult to see him smile or make eye contact.

But even at this time, her grandmother didn’t think Seung-woo was autistic.

She found out about autism exactly thanks to a neighbor grandmother who lived across the street and was like a sister to her.

Since she was the only one in the neighborhood who knew about Kim Sun-min’s situation, the neighbor grandmother actively helped.

The neighbor grandmother, who had worked as a pediatrician in another region for a long time and returned to her hometown, saw Seung-woo’s behavior and made a reservation at a university hospital where her junior was working.

There was a fairly well-known expert in that area, and after a long period of examination, he was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.

Her grandmother felt like the sky was falling when Seung-woo was diagnosed with autism, but Kim Sun-min found out much later.

‘Seung-woo? Grandma? I’m here.’

Kim Sun-min visited her grandmother’s house in the countryside after a long time.

‘Grandma, can you see this? I won another award in this contest. I might be able to get an internship here after graduation.’

‘Really? Our puppy is amazing.’

‘But Grandma, is something wrong? Why does your face look so bad?’

‘Sun-min? The thing is, there’s a bit of a problem with Seung-woo.’

‘Problem? What problem?’

Her grandmother, judging that she couldn’t hide it any longer, told Kim Sun-min the truth.

‘Seung-woo is a little different from other children, he’s more special.’

‘Special? What do you mean?’

‘He has autistic tendencies.’

‘What? Au…autistic! Are you saying Seung-woo is autistic?’

Kim Sun-min shed tears as she looked at her grandmother nodding silently.

She couldn’t easily accept the fact that the child she had given birth to was not normal.

She would have to take care of Seung-woo when her grandmother got older, and the thought of being responsible for an autistic child made her feel overwhelmed.

‘Sun-min, don’t worry. Grandma will take care of everything. Seung-woo is not different from others, he’s just more special.’

‘Grandma! That’s what being different from others is.’

‘No. I’m going to make our Seung-woo live just like everyone else.’

Unlike the distraught Kim Sun-min, her grandmother was different even then. Instead of her granddaughter, she rolled up her sleeves for Seung-woo once again.

With a troubled mind, Kim Sun-min didn’t visit her grandmother’s house in the countryside as often as before. As time went by, she made more excuses about getting a job and visited even less frequently.

‘Sis~ Sis!’

Even to Seung-woo’s words of wanting to see her over the phone, she strangely didn’t feel drawn to him.

As time passed, Kim Sun-min was able to join the design team at the company she wanted.

She felt like she was flying. As time went by, Seung-woo also grew up.

She went down to the countryside to see Seung-woo more often than before, but Kim Sun-min still didn’t feel the desperate maternal love for her child.

‘Sun-min? It’s me.’

Then one day, she received a call from the neighbor grandmother.

‘Hello? But what’s going on?’

‘Don’t be surprised. Your grandmother has collapsed.’

Her grandmother was immediately taken to the hospital and underwent various tests, but it was already too late to treat her, and there was nothing the hospital could do.

Not many days after being taken to the hospital, her grandmother closed her eyes as if it were a lie.

Just like her father, her grandmother’s death was too sudden.

In particular, the news of her grandmother’s death, whom she had trusted and relied on, was a greater shock to Kim Sun-min. But she couldn’t continue to be sad like this.

Now she was Seung-woo’s only guardian.

Kim Sun-min, who was being recognized at the company and was about to be promoted, quit her job to take care of Seung-woo.

It was realistically difficult to take care of a child while handling the company’s large workload. But living with Seung-woo, who had autistic tendencies, was by no means easy.

She had to understand, be patient, repeat, teach, and give more affection and love.

‘Seung-woo, just a moment.’

‘That’s dangerous.’

‘You have to wait.’

Unexpected things always happened, and she was often surprised by Seung-woo’s unannounced actions. She was very tired and cried a lot.

What lifted Kim Sun-min up each time was her grandmother’s diary.

Her grandmother had kept a childcare diary about Seung-woo every day from the time he was diagnosed with autism until the day before she collapsed.

She frequently asked for help from the neighbor grandmother who was a pediatrician.

She also held Seung-woo’s hand and always took him to the city library to get him acquainted with books, and she grew Seung-woo by learning computers at a late age and reading specialized books.

There were dozens of notebooks filled with the diary.

It was a precious diary containing her grandmother’s heart, who wanted to be of even a small help to her granddaughter who would raise Seung-woo in the future.

While looking at the diary, Kim Sun-min reflected on and regretted the past when she couldn’t get closer to Seung-woo, and she pulled herself together.

But this was the problem.

She was driven by the desire to raise Seung-woo, who was different from ordinary children, well.

She used the money she had saved up to visit places famous for treating autistic children, and she showed him good things and only gave him things that were good for his body.

As a result, the money quickly ran out, and unlike her initial intentions, she became more and more exhausted physically and mentally.

Kim Sun-min, who was having a hard time with such an exhausted mind, had bad thoughts.

She couldn’t picture a future of living with her child, so she tried to give up on life with Seung-woo, but it was Seung-woo who caught her.

The comfort her child gave her when her heart hit rock bottom and went down to the ground lit a fire in her cold heart.

Kim Sun-min hardened her heart again and decided to only think about Seung-woo.

She was slowly becoming a mother, and the word ‘maternal love’ was sprouting in her heart.

That’s how Kim Sun-min left Seung-woo at the hospital and went to Lee Young-hoon, knowing it was shameless.

The reason she was looking for him was simple. It was because of the child support.

Her bank account had already been emptied, and there was no other source of money.

She just thought she should get help once until she found a new job. She had no one else to ask for such a favor except for him.

“But, Doctor, although I had bad thoughts at one time, I have never regretted giving birth to Seung-woo. He is more precious to me than my own life now.”

Kim Sun-min, having finished her story, said briefly while looking at Tae-kyung. And she calmed her heart as if she was momentarily choked up thinking about the past.

‘It must have been tough……’

Tae-kyung felt heavy-hearted for some reason after hearing the whole story. Her parents’ divorce, the death of her father and grandmother, and childbirth at a young age.

She was in her twenties. She was still young.

But he felt sorry and admirable for his young friend who didn’t have time to enjoy her youth and was struggling for her son.

“Kim Sun-min?”

“Yes, Doctor.”

“It may sound childish and funny, but I still have to say it.”

“Yes……?”

“There’s a saying, right? ‘Mom’ is the guardian sent by God.”

“……”

“The person who unconditionally believes in me, protects me, and defends me whether I succeed or fail, whether the world turns its back on me, whether someone mocks me and criticizes me for no reason. That person is the mother that God sent to us. To Seung-woo, Kim Sun-min is a guardian.”

“I am Seung-woo’s…guardian.”

“You said that you are very clumsy and sorry to your child, but I know that Kim Sun-min has raised Seung-woo with love all this time.”

“……?”

“How did I know? I can tell by looking at Seung-woo. Children can’t lie. Seung-woo’s expression is the happiest when he talks about his sister. And don’t try too hard to do well. Like all mothers in this land, Kim Sun-min is also a mother for the first time.

It’s natural to feel clumsy, tired, want to cry, and sometimes want to run away. And no matter how much a mother is a guardian, mothers also have a hard time. There is no perfect person in this world. I think mothers and children grow together.

Above all, thank you for living hard with Seung-woo so far, and thank you for holding on well. Seung-woo’s mother, you’ve worked hard.”

“Ha! Sob……”

At that moment, thick tears that Kim Sun-min had been forcibly holding back poured down relentlessly.

The words ‘Seung-woo’s guardian’ and ‘thank you for holding on well’ made her heart burn.

It was just a word, but it felt like she was being recognized for her hard work so far, and she couldn’t calm down.

It was as if she was being comforted for the difficult days of the past.

Tears that had burst out like a broken faucet flowed uncontrollably.

“…Sob!”

Kim Sun-min, whose heart was not easily calmed, buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

Tae-kyung, who had silently placed a tissue on the desk, left the treatment room connected to the examination room for a while so that Kim Sun-min could cry to her heart’s content.