Follow Your Heart [EN]: Chapter 54

#54.

I wanted to appear composed, but the King’s face was beaming.

He approached Lee Jae, who was chatting animatedly with the knights, and embraced her. Grinning, he asked,

“What did our Queen say?”

“Yes? She just asked if I was having a hard time, if I had a good lunch, and if I was comfortable.”

“She asked what was the most delicious thing… and mentioned that Her Majesty the Queen doesn’t usually like that side dish either. Ah, but she said tastes are different. Your Majesty, I really didn’t say much. I was just answering her questions…”

“Is that so? The Queen is usually quite kind.”

The knight kept glancing around, and Roderick asked with a playful grin.

“But she didn’t say she liked me, did she?”

“………….”

“She didn’t? Oh, why didn’t she?”

“………….”

“I did it two or three times today. I guess the Queen really likes me a lot.”

Lee Jae was so dumbfounded by his blatant boasting that she glared at him, wondering what he was trying to achieve.

But Roderick didn’t care at all. Instead, looking around to see if there was anyone else to tease, he spotted Jade, who was standing guard.

However, the King’s longtime friend knew him too well.

Seeing the sly smile, he realized that the King was really trying to pull a silly prank, and he suddenly shouted.

“Ah, it looks like the guard over there is a bit…unfocused.”

“Captain?”

The knights looked at him with puzzled faces.

*What? Now? Nothing seems unfocused though? Is he even a peerless knight after saying that?*

This contradicted the reputation and pride of the Knights. Because Jade was implying that there wasn’t even a threat over there.

But Jade pushed the members’ backs indiscriminately.

*Yeah, I know, but things are definitely unstable over there right now. Are your brains frozen? Do you think it’s enough to just be good at your job? People need to have a sense of self-preservation more than skill to succeed.*

*Just run quickly when I tell you, you stupid bastards. I’m doing this to save you all.*

Jade just wanted to get out of the King’s sight, so he kept pushing the knights’ backs, saying there was something wrong over there.

He was definitely a peerless knight with as much sense as skill.

Roderick and Lee Jae walked slowly towards the river.

Looking into the distance with a distant gaze, she let out a shallow sigh.

Lee Jae was about to take a seat on the riverbank, but Roderick stopped her and spread his coat on the ground.

The river was much larger and deeper than Hailey remembered.

They flowed endlessly, undulating like people’s lives.

She sat on the coat and stared at the water for a while. And she said honestly.

“Your Majesty. Actually, I really like watching the water.”

“Yeah, it looks like it.”

“………….”

“You keep looking at it, making me worry.”

“………….”

“Why are you doing that? Do you know how much I worry about you?”

Although she could only see it from afar, Lee Jae felt humbled when she saw the water.

A person with spiritual eyes does not become arrogant, but rather becomes humble.

Because they know how dangerous their vision is.

“It’s not because Your Majesty is worried, and I know what you’re worried about. But I just like seeing something huge.”

She was smiling faintly, but her finger pointing at the waves was clear.

“Look, I like the feeling of becoming nothing.”

“………….”

“Your Majesty, the world is big and I’m just dust.”

Lee Jae always wanted to assert that.

“People should live big, everyone says that. But I much prefer the feeling of becoming insignificant. When I face something huge, I realize that no worries are important.”

“………….”

“It feels like I don’t have to do anything, and that’s the only good thing.”

“………….”

“Am I a bit foolish?”

Lee Jae gave a faint smile. Roderick, who understood exactly what she meant, shook his head.

“You must be under a lot of pressure.”

“Maybe.”

Lee Jae was actually in pain right now. Because Hailey wasn’t here.

Lee Jae thought she should have become a water ghost [a vengeful spirit of someone who died by drowning].

She couldn’t readily understand how she could harbor such resentment and leave.

‘Hailey, where are you.’

Lee Jae, who had been looking down in despair, soon closed her eyes tightly and began to pray.

Oh God. Oh, divine spirit who governs the providence of this world.

It’s too late, but I have something to apologize for.

I apologize for hating humans when my reality was painful.

At that time, I was committing sins by resenting innocent people with a young heart.

My parents probably didn’t want to abandon me either.

But I won’t say they’re right now. I don’t mean I understand. Because that’s arrogance and a lie.

I will just admit that I am that incompetent, narrow-minded, and despicable human being. I just want to say that I didn’t have the right to blame the world just because I was a little unhappy.

I was wrong, so please help me just once. I don’t know how to solve this problem.

Some people are innocent. If you have given me the eyes to see the suffering of such people, you must also give me the power to help.

She prayed earnestly, but no answer came back.

But if she could hear the voice of God, he would have answered like this.

Kang Lee Jae.

Take pride in the fact that you have constantly strived to love people even in the hardships of life.

The fact that you abandoned your anger and knelt down for them is not because you are a weak person, but because you are actually a strong person.

Even if no one acknowledges it, it will not be more miserable than a life of hating someone.

After finishing her prayer, she continued to stare at the river.

Her thoughts are in the other world, but reality is here.

And fortunately, there was someone next to her.

“Your Majesty.”

“Yeah.”

Lee Jae hesitated to say something, then sighed and bit her lip slightly. She laughed because the King ran his lower lip again.

“Isn’t the water so pretty?”

Roderick felt strangely heartbroken, but nodded.

“Yeah.”

“I wonder if it only looks pretty to my eyes?”

“……Why do you think that?”

Roderick gently hugged her, who looked somewhat sad.

“Hailey.”

“Yes.”

“Hailey.”

“Yeees.”

He also looked at the flowing river like Lee Jae. Roderick hoped that his wife would stop suffering now.

“You, are you okay?”

“Of course.”

Roderick stared into her eyes as if to confirm.

Lee Jae smiled faintly and nodded.

Roderick also nodded.

“Then shake it off.”

“………….”

“I told you not to worry about me. That it’s not wrong. You didn’t apologize, but you understood the deceased. Just because you wanted your heart to be at peace.”

“………….”

“Then let’s forget the past too. Extend that tolerance to yourself as well.”

Lee Jae stared at him intently.

“Let go of what happened before and come with me, Hailey. Forget everything and take my hand. I can treat you better than any other man.”

The privilege given to the living is that the future keeps waiting.

The King was ready to face that future.

Because he was a strong man with many responsibilities.

But he had never been excited about the future that was coming.

Sometimes it was like a hellish night, and that night was alone.

But if he goes with his wife, the journey will surely be enjoyable.

He wanted to share the same future with her and go together.

Roderick held out his hand, and Lee Jae stared blankly at the large hand.

He doesn’t know what kind of pain she is in. He’s just guessing based on Hailey.

Even so, Lee Jae felt strangely comforted by his words.

She carefully grabbed the tip of his hand.

“Your Majesty.”

“Yeah. Tell me.”

Lee Jae, who was worried, shook her head.

“It’s nothing.”

“Our Queen has a strange talent for making people anxious.”

“………….”

“What is it? Just tell me.”

Lee Jae laughed.

“You don’t have to doubt me anymore. You know that I’ve been having feelings for you, right? I won’t betray Your Majesty.”

“………….”

“But you can keep doing it if you want. Well, if that makes Your Majesty feel better. I don’t really feel that upset about it.”

“……How can you not be upset about that?”

Roderick nudged her knee so she wouldn’t say such things, and Lee Jae also held back her laughter. After thinking carefully, she said. Like overflowing feelings, she couldn’t keep these words in her heart any longer.

“You know. Actually, when I saw Your Majesty, there was something I thought.”

“What.”

She laughed silently.

“Ah, I might lose everything here. Like a strange hunch.”

“How can you say such a thing.”

Roderick said as if he was really upset.

But he really came like that, like fate.

Our fates were bound to come in that way.

But she, with her extraordinary eyes, also sensed that it would be difficult if she got involved with him.

A warning that her life as a shaman could be ruined.

The divine punishment given to those who intervene in providence.

In fact, Lee Jae kept thinking that she might die.

But why couldn’t she keep looking away?

Was it because she felt sympathy for him, who was suffering from vengeful spirits?

Maybe it was because he sometimes offered strange choices. Maybe she felt affection for him for stopping her from being hit.

She kept thinking and rationalizing, but Lee Jae also had a selfish reason.

“But I’ve been thinking about it too.”

“………….”

“Even if I lose something…”

“………….”

“Maybe my life can change here.”

That was probably… anticipation.

An emotion that makes me realize that I was actually human.

Fear was always present.

But if she regrets living twice, she will live shrinking in the third time too.

Lee Jae didn’t want to live that kind of life anymore.

She would rather regret it.

Lee Jae held his hand tightly.

“Then please go with me.”

I won’t hold back anymore, and I’ll go with you to the end.

If there is someone she wants to protect, she had to endure and become stronger.

“Actually, whenever I see Your Majesty… my heart keeps moving.”

“………….”

“Then I don’t need to think complicatedly, right?”

Lee Jae, who had renewed her determination, laughed with a relieved look.

The river does not stop and continues to flow.

And they were clearly seeing the same scenery now.

She kept smiling because that fact was a great comfort to her.