How To Live As A Third Son Of A Failure [EN]: Chapter 179

Living as the Third Son of a Wasted Novel – Chapter 180

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I entered the cave and sat down, my heart filled with anticipation.

‘What method will she teach me?’ I wondered. ‘A training method only Druids know? Or a secret technique Hashunar secretly left behind?’

With a calm expression, Rahenna began, “Let me ask you something.”

“Yes.”

“Why do you want to become stronger?”

…What was she talking about, out of the blue?

I was momentarily taken aback by the question, which was far from what I expected.

‘Why do I want to become stronger?’ Who *doesn’t* want to be strong? But she probably wasn’t looking for such an obvious answer.

After a moment of thought, I couldn’t come up with a good response. I had never really considered *why* I wanted to become stronger.

But I couldn’t just remain silent. So, I gave the answer I had used several times before.

“To save the world.”

Rahenna scoffed at my terse reply.

“To save the world? Isn’t that something you can achieve with the talent you have now?”

“…Achieve?”

“I heard you haven’t even held a sword properly for more than a few years. Yet look at the level you’ve reached in that short time. With such talent, shouldn’t you just focus on training without being greedy?”

Rahenna was right.

Objectively speaking, my growth rate was by far the highest in the entire novel.

Not to mention my innate talent for mana, I also had several other abilities to back me up.

Frankly, if I just stayed put and trained every day, reaching Master level within a few years wouldn’t be impossible.

Reaching Master level in less than 10 years of holding a sword… Even considering the novel’s setting, it would be the birth of an unprecedentedly overpowered character.

But even so, I felt impatient.

The reason was clear: the promised time was running out.

With a war about to break out, I didn’t have time to leisurely swing a sword in the training grounds.

Even if it meant postponing personal training, I had to eliminate potential threats in advance and nurture forces that would help me in the future.

That’s why I’d been running non-stop, putting training on the back burner.

But eventually, I reached a limit because of that black-haired man I met the other day.

‘You could say I’m in a dilemma.’

Yes, a dilemma. If I focused on training, I’d be ill-prepared for the upcoming race war. But if I took steps to prepare for the war, my personal training would be insufficient, and I might be vulnerable to dangers like the black-haired man again.

To break through that dilemma, I had to use any means possible to become stronger quickly.

Having finished my thoughts, I slowly nodded.

“I just want to speed up the time to become stronger.”

“Then why do you want to speed up that time? Why bother when you can achieve it naturally over time?”

What was this, some kind of philosophical interrogation?

“Why speed it up?”

“The sooner that time comes, the sooner I can achieve my goal, right?”

“Then why do you want to achieve that goal quickly?”

What kind of wordplay was this?

“What other reason do I need to want to achieve my goals quickly?”

“You need one. I need to know the reason to give you what you want.”

I closed my mouth tightly at Rahenna’s question.

The fundamental reason for wanting to achieve my goal quickly.

What could it be? Right. If I could become strong enough not to be inferior to anyone, I might be able to eliminate the root of the race war before it even starts.

Then why would I want to eliminate that root? Tracing back, what finally came to mind was the world I originally lived in.

Earth.

And South Korea.

My beloved parents and friends with whom I shared over a decade of memories. Computer games, movies, comic books. Cool air conditioning in the summer and warm boilers in the winter.

And the life I dreamed of: watching soccer games with beer and chicken, taking spontaneous fishing trips during holidays, and experiencing heart-fluttering romance with a partner.

“……”

Reaching that point, anger suddenly welled up in one corner of my heart.

Why was I suffering, sitting on this damp cave floor?

Why did I have to chew on hard crackers and jerky and worry about being threatened for days?

Why did I have to discriminate against people based on their status against my will, swing a sword until my palms were blistered, and run around the continent non-stop?

Finally, why did I have to commit murder, caught up in this piece of trash novel?

After thinking about countless things, I slowly opened my mouth.

“You asked me what the real reason I want to become stronger is.”

“Yes. Not the reason to show others, but the real reason.”

“……”

The real reason that came from within, not to show others.

Something I had never seriously considered was newly created by Rahenna’s question.

Rahenna calmly asked again as I fell into silence.

“Did you find it?”

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

What is it?

The answer was already there.

Nodding, I looked at Rahenna with a bitter smile.

“Anger.”

“Anger?”

“Yes. It’s because of anger.”

“Anger towards what?”

“Anger towards the existence that threw me into this world, that made me unable to live as myself.”

Living a life that is not me.

That was a more certain reason than anything else.

Even if some damn god sent me to this world, even if it’s my predetermined fate, the anger towards what made me like this will not change.

Rahenna’s reaction was subtle.

It’s understandable. Me not living as myself… It would be difficult for her to understand.

It was a natural reaction for Rahenna, who doesn’t know that the core inside my shell is a human from another dimension.

“Didn’t you say earlier that it was to save the world?”

“Saving the world was just one condition to resolve my anger, not because there was any other special reason.”

“……I don’t understand, but judging from your expression, it doesn’t seem like you’re lying.”

After slowly nodding, Rahenna sat cross-legged in front of me.

“Good. Now that I’ve heard your answer, it’s my turn to explain.”

Rahenna’s eyes narrowed, becoming more intense.

The words that followed were not about giving me a special elixir, nor teaching me an unprecedented secret technique.

“In Hashunar’s case, it was a mission.”

“……A mission?”

“No one forced him to. But he embraced a mission as the reason he had to become stronger.”

“……”

After a moment of silence, Rahenna looked straight at me. Her unwavering gaze felt unsettling, as if it were piercing through my head.

“Hashunar was just an insignificant warrior until the race war broke out. He had the potential for his abilities, but he didn’t have the ability to fully realize it.”

An insignificant warrior?

That monster?

“The reason why Hashunar suddenly emerged as the savior of the race was, as I said before, because he had a mission. I don’t know the specifics, but I can guess a few things. For example, the death of family and relatives, the loss of territory, and the endangered survival of the race, resentment and contempt towards his weak self.”

“……”

“For that reason, Hashunar became an existence that could trade even his soul if it meant fulfilling his mission, and as a result, as you know, he unlocked his abilities and transformed into a perfect warrior.”

I closed my mouth, having learned about Hashunar’s inner workings, which had not been known in detail.

“But what about you? You’re using the abilities that Hashunar worked so hard to develop without any cost. It’s like wearing clothes that don’t fit. It’s not an ability that your vessel can hold.”

“I can’t help it. It’s not like I can have the same mission as Hashunar.”

“You’re right. You can’t have the same intentions as Hashunar. But what I’m saying now is not just about that.”

“What do you mean it’s not?”

“Because you have everything.”

Rahenna wore a faint smile, as if sensing my rising question.

“In Hashunar’s case, it’s the result of defying an unavoidable fate. But you have the talent to naturally become stronger over time without such a process of awakening. Do you think you can match Hashunar’s mental strength even by a fraction?”

“……”

“I’m saying, can you, who already has a refuge, put yourself in a desperate situation and push yourself beyond your limits?”

“……”

I couldn’t answer Rahenna’s words.

Because what she said was true.

Now that I’ve been targeted, I will be more careful in the future. I was planning to always be protected by Ruth and Ilia and only operate in safe areas.

And if I could spend time like that, I would soon have the skills to not be hopelessly outmatched by the black-haired man, even if I wasn’t a Master.

I’m sure of it. A few years at most. That’s how fast and monstrous my growth rate was.

‘But is that a hindrance?’

Knowing that I’ll soon become stronger, my desperation is also diminished, so I can’t expect a mental awakening.

As if seeing through my thoughts, Rahenna opened her mouth.

“As long as those things are stuck in your instincts, the limits of your mental strength are as good as set.”

“What you said is all true. Yes. I have no intention of denying it. But you didn’t just sit me here to give me that kind of answer, did you?”

Rahenna gave a faint smile at my words, which I blurted out as if pouring them out.

“There may be a way to try. As you said earlier, if you can draw out that anger more strongly.”

“Drawing it out strongly means……”

“It means that you might be able to fix your rotten mentality.”

“Will that alone solve it?”

“Of course!”

Rahenna, who answered me sternly as if scolding me in a strong tone, narrowed her eyes.

“You know that Hashunar’s ability is different from ordinary physical strength, don’t you?”

That’s right. No matter how much I grow my mana heart and swing my sword to train my body, the power of the sentence has clear limits.

“I heard from Kalandart that I need a different kind of power than usual.”

Rahenna nodded at my words.

“Have you heard of Qi [life energy or vital force]?”

“I’ve heard of it.”

“Qi is the power that dwells in the mind. You can’t get it by swinging a sword or training your muscles. The stronger your mental strength, the bigger your vessel will be, and the more Qi will be contained within it.”

“But until just now, you said that I can’t overcome my limits because my instincts have a refuge, didn’t you?”

“Then there’s only one answer: to break down your easy refuge.”

Break down my instincts? How?

Rahenna nodded as if sensing my question.

By now, the outside was completely dark, and a bluish twilight was seeping in.

The fading light illuminated Rahenna, who was sitting demurely, creating a mysterious atmosphere.

From the first time I met her until the Great Forest, I had seen this many times. She always emitted such a look when she used illusions.

Reaching that point, anxiety welled up in one corner of my heart.

“So what the hell are you……”

“I don’t know the process of what you’ll experience after this, nor the results that will arise from it. As I said just now, I’m just providing an environment where you can overcome your limits. Your inner self will fill that environment, and it’s up to you to use it to gain results or pay the price.”

“……”

“Still going to do it?”

It’s cowardly. Knowing my situation, where I have no choice but to accept it, you’re saying that I have to pay all the price alone?

But the answer was already decided. I couldn’t back out now, fearing the price.

Having made up my mind, I glared at Rahenna and sneered.

“I have no intention of turning tail now.”

“Then good luck.”

With that short farewell, I felt like my body was floating and my eyes slowly closed.