In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 39

I arrived at the NBS building in a daze.

I was led to the conference room by the assistant director.

On the way, Min-young whispered in my ear.

“It seems they really only want to see you. They didn’t even book a separate place and called you here.”

The door opened, and I saw the people sitting in the conference room.

The director and writer, whom I had familiarized myself with, and…

The head of the department.

Seeing the head of the department, I remembered how intently he had been watching me during the audition.

Min-young naturally stepped back and very quietly encouraged me, “Fighting!”

The door closed behind me.

Silence filled the conference room.

I had done something big… I swallowed hard.

The conference room had a ‘ㄷ’ shaped table, and a chair was placed in the middle.

I slowly walked to my seat.

Then, writer Nam Ji-hye immediately began.

“I couldn’t sleep because of the video Ms. Sae-na sent.”

“Pardon?”

“You sent a video, right? I was so intrigued; it completely messed with my head.”

The writer smiled, wrinkling her nose.

And without giving me time to answer, she bombarded me with questions.

“Yoon Young-jae, right? The actor who played opposite you. You created a role that wasn’t in the script. What was your reasoning?”

I slowly gathered my thoughts.

“It was an idea that started with, ‘What if the king had another helper?'”

Then, the director slyly sneered from the side.

“There’s a limit to how much you can improvise with the script….”

Then, the head of the department, sitting next to him, glared at the director, silencing him.

Hmm….

So, this is the atmosphere.

As expected, everyone is half-doubting.

The video is fascinating, but suspicious.

That must be what they’re thinking.

Then, only the final hurdle remains.

The final persuasion.

I pondered for a moment, bit my lip, and then spoke.

“I’ve only seen up to episode 6, but I felt like the king must have had a helper other than Sun-im. The reason I specifically made the helper a eunuch [a castrated male servant, often holding high office in some historical courts] was because he was the person who could observe the king’s character most closely and for the longest time. And also, the eunuch must have hesitated whether to take the king’s side or not, because the Queen Dowager’s power is strong.”

Writer Nam Ji-hye immediately cut in with an answer.

“If the reason for choosing the king in the end is his character, then it’s completely opposite to the Queen Dowager’s cruelty.”

“Yes, that’s right. It’s moral legitimacy.”

“Ehem.”

The writer’s voice, nodding and adding interjections, had a tone that seemed a little excited and joyful.

I was also in high spirits.

Nam Ji-hye looked into my eyes and smiled slyly.

Seeing that smile, I was convinced.

As expected, using the established world of the script was the right approach.

But the director, who had been looking dissatisfied, threw a sharp question.

“So, do you want to be the main character, or the director? The writer?”

This time, the head of the department didn’t stop him either.

It seemed he wanted to hear my answer.

I smiled and looked at the director, answering clearly.

“The main character. Actually, the reason I made this scene was also to show you my interpretation of ‘Sun-im.’ The feelings Sun-im has for the king aren’t just simple romantic feelings.”

I gently met the eyes of the head of the department, who was crossing his arms, and continued.

“Affection, loyalty, and Sun-im chose the option of persuading the eunuch without telling the king. There’s also ‘trust’ in that. Trust in the king, trust in the eunuch. If the eunuch takes the king’s side in the end, I think the decisive role will be ‘Sun-im.’ Sun-im has the power of sincerity and truth.”

Silence flowed again in the conference room.

Then, the head of the department unfolded his arms and spoke for the first time.

“Then show me.”

And he handed me a printed script.

* * *

Meanwhile, four hours before the re-audition.

The head of the department, Chun In-soo, was reviewing newly arrived scripts in his office.

Chun In-soo, carefully looking at one work, muttered.

“I wonder if I should give this to that friend.”

The female lead in the script he was looking at inadvertently overlapped with the image of Han Sae-na, who had failed the *Gyeol-kkot* audition a while ago.

The genre of the script he was currently looking at was also a historical romance.

However… the biggest difference from *Gyeol-kkot* was that the female lead didn’t have a clear characteristic.

Chun In-soo sighed for a moment.

‘Even if it’s all about viewership ratings, to drop her just because she’s a rookie, even after seeing her good acting?’

He was displeased.

From Chun In-soo’s point of view, ignoring a rookie’s passion was already a red flag.

Moreover, the two actors Kang Jung-hwan was considering were both playing hardball with their appearance fees.

‘It’s not like they planned it together.’

Beep-

The phone vibrated.

It was a text from writer Nam Ji-hye.

‘Director. I heard we’re doing a re-audition for *Gyeol-kkot*? It’s that actress you liked last time.’

“Huh?”

Chun In-soo’s brow furrowed for a moment.

“That Kang Jung-hwan, the jerk. Not even reporting it….”

Chun In-soo’s brow quickly unfurrowed.

Chun In-soo quickly replied.

‘Han Sae-na? How come? I haven’t received a response from Lee Na-ra and Seo Jae-yeon’s agencies, did you hear anything?’

The writer’s reply came back quickly.

‘No, that friend sent something interesting.’

In the end, Chun In-soo couldn’t resist and pressed the call button.

“Oh, writer Nam. Can you talk? Uh-huh. ……What? What did she send?”

Chun In-soo, who was letting out a hollow laugh, soon burst into laughter.

Chun In-soo, who continued to listen to the situation, couldn’t lower the corners of his mouth and stroked his chin.

At that moment, Chun In-soo felt that he was right.

This actress was the type who worked desperately.

Whether it looked strange to others or not.

Chun In-soo replied with satisfaction.

“Anyway, you did a good job. I won’t be disappointed. No. I should go to the re-audition today too. Writer Nam, can you send me that video?”

Chun In-soo, who hung up the phone, covered the script he was reading and stood up.

He was going to go into the re-audition room and take a seat, and stop Kang Jung-hwan if he found some absurd fault.

A smile continued to hang on the lips of Chun In-soo, who was leaving the office.

* * *

So, at the re-audition site.

I picked up the script that the head of the department handed me and started reading.

It was a short narration line that started with ‘Please see His Majesty, whom I will miss dearly.’

‘…The enclosed letter will be evidence of the slander written by the girl’s parents 15 years ago and the basis for revealing the Queen Dowager’s tyranny…’

‘…I wish to fulfill my last love for you by erasing my existence…’

It was the ending of the script that I hadn’t seen last time.

In the ending created by the writer, Sun-im seemed to have chosen to give the king the last justification to defeat the Queen Dowager, and then even hide her own traces.

I understood because her existence itself was the king’s weakness.

After reading the narration, the head of the department spoke again.

“According to your own setting, what would you do? I saw the acting in the script last time, so do a free performance with that.”

I looked at the head of the department in surprise at those words.

Free performance….

I didn’t expect it to go this far.

How should I convey it with the narration?

As I pondered for a moment, Sun-im’s face came to mind.

‘If it were Sun-im, when would she have brought up this story in the world I lived in?’

I slowly straightened my clothes and stood up from my seat.

It was probably at Kim Ik-jae’s house.

Sun-im ran through the night, her breath reaching her chin, and I felt like she desperately persuaded him with a heart spitting blood.

And this moment was an important scene that I was the only one who hadn’t seen when I was in the script.

I had a vague feeling that I could complete it in another world.

I decided what to act.

After giving a big bow that a man would give, I knelt down on the floor.

I expressed all the movements as if I was trembling like someone who had been running.

Because Sun-im came here from Hanyang [old name for Seoul] to the death.

“Please be on His Majesty’s side.”

I made a desperate expression as if I was about to collapse, but enduring with will.

“It must be you, teacher.”

I pretended to take something out of my sleeve and handed it out with both hands.

“Because you, teacher, are someone who follows righteousness, not power.”

And I stopped talking for a moment and listened as if I was listening to something.

Perhaps, Kim Ik-jae scolded Sun-im, who was acting like a man, asking how she could discuss right and wrong.

‘How can a woman acting like a man discuss right and wrong?’ It was the kind of word that Sun-im had been fighting in her life.

I opened my mouth and answered.

“So you knew. …Yes, that’s right. I am a woman.”

I guessed that Sun-im at that time, and I now, were frustrated and anxious.

Also, I was tearful with injustice, but also determined.

“But before being a woman, I am the child of a loyalist who was falsely accused and died unjustly, and a citizen who wants to follow a righteous king!”

It was an unstable voice trembling with exhaustion, but it contained a fiery will.

I raised my voice more and more.

“You can punish me for breaking the national law. My limbs can be cut off. But not now. After driving out the real traitors, I will confess with my own mouth. I will gladly accept the punishment. So please help me. Not me, but His Majesty.”

When I finished the lines, my whole body trembled as if I had really become Sun-im at that time.

The conference room was filled with my trembling breath.

* * *

After Han Sae-na left, the production team was called to the conference room.

A heavy atmosphere lingered.

Breaking the silence, Nam Ji-hye began.

“I like it.”

Her gaze was fixed straight on Kang Jung-hwan.

Kang Jung-hwan continued to make an unpleasant expression, whether she did or not.

Nam Ji-hye continued.

“As you all know, everyone has been racking their brains over the ending of the drama, right? We can solve it with the idea that Sae-na brought and the character of the eunuch.”

From Nam Ji-hye’s point of view, Han Sae-na was a blessing in disguise.

She was full of passion, she acted well, and that’s not all.

She even offered a clean solution to the ending that she had been arguing with Kang Jung-hwan about.

In the current state of the script, the king’s actions of losing his lover and avenging the Queen Dowager in the ending only seemed like a petty man’s venting of emotions.

The emotional delivery was sufficient, but the coherence felt lacking.

But if the eunuch comes in and a new countermeasure is introduced, the story might change.

She wanted to have a meeting about this part with Han Sae-na.

The last key was right in front of her eyes.

While Nam Ji-hye’s head was spinning, Kang Jung-hwan finally spoke.

“Let’s use the setting, but give her a supporting role.”